Let The Big Countdown Commence!
Time to get this show on the road party planners! Remember, I have laid out this checklist in timeline format, but ultimately you just need to work in the chronological order as listed no matter what timeframe you are working within...
12 + Months - In the beginning
So, where do we start? Back to the budget of course! Let’s re-cap. I cannot emphasise how important it is to seriously work out how much dosh you have to splash on your big day. I meet so many couples who don’t do this from the off and 9 times out of 10 it ends in hideous disaster, with the wedding being more of a financial headache than a happy ever after. Remember, a fairytale does not have to cost a fortune. Utilise every talent available via your inner circle of family and friends. Make sure you tell anyone and everyone who will listen that you are tying the knot because someone somewhere will know a photographer, a hairdresser, a DJ or indeed anyone connected to the wedding industry that you might be able to negotiate a cheeky rate with. Everyone loves a good barter and you will be surprised how far you can stretch your cash in the W world by simply asking. The important bit is to pay all your invoices as they become due to stay ahead of the game. And finally, be subtle regarding any parental contributions, actually, who am I kidding, be subtle as a brick and get them to support in any which way they can!
Right planners, next up we need to think about that big day bible. Month by month I want to know what is going on and when it’s happening! At this stage it’s best to read through my breakdown as a whole and then you can extract and create your own bespoke version to meet your individual needs as you wish. It might be that this quick-guide works perfectly well as your blueprint in which case you are totally good to go. When considering said big day bible please also allow some ‘you’ time for rest and relaxation. Organise some ‘non wedding’ activities to do together with your partner each week in the months leading up to the big day. Even a trip to the local cinema will help take the edge off any natural anxiety or stress during the build-up. The planning process is not just about cakes and flowers - it’s also about your well-being in what can be a very stressful period.
At this stage, the wedding date and selecting a venue is top dog priority. Once this is set everything else will fall into place. If you have a dream venue in mind, go visit the wedding coordinator and ask what can be achieved with your budget. Don’t be afraid to ask! Hog-roasts and summer bbq’s are all the rage at the moment and can often be much lighter on the budget than a traditional sit down meal. If you are not sure on a venue pick out five in your local area and go from there (unless of course you are planning a destination wedding). Even if you don’t like any of them hopefully they will spark some ideas. Remember don’t be shy, just give a few venues a try and be adventurous; think about finding a space that reflects you both as a couple. If you love the ocean why not go nautical or maybe a medieval banquet is more your thing?
12 + Months Checklist
Set your big day budget (allowing 10% for overspending). It is a good idea to open a joint wedding account to monitor funds and expenditure.
Discuss openly with immediate family who will be contributing to the wedding - it’s important to sort such technicalities out at the very beginning of this process. If you feel uncomfortable asking a direct question, initially mention the budget as a passing comment to sow the seed as they say... that is if they don’t mention it first! Tact and diplomacy is the name of the game here. It is also important to be understanding of individual financial circumstances.
Finalise the wedding date - choose and book a venue for the ceremony and reception. For venue ideas in the UK visit www.weddingvenues.com or for weddings abroad visit www.weddings-abroad-guide.com
Arrange a meeting with your priest, minister, rabbi or registrar to discuss dates and plans for the wedding (more on this in terms of timings within the Q&A section).
Choose key members of your wedding party... chief bridesmaid, bridesmaids, bestman, ushers and pageboys alongside key family members.
Pick out or design your save-the-dates cards, invites and thank you cards. Get inspired via my friends at www.hummingbirdcards.co.uk
Make a decision about how many guests to invite to the ceremony/reception and begin making a guest list. Remember to allocate a reception budget and work out how much you can spend per head based on attendees. Cull where necessary! Plan a separate list for evening attendees as appropriate.
Send save-the-date cards if your wedding is in peak season or taking place abroad. High street retailer Debenhams also offers a bespoke design service for wedding stationery visit www.debenhamsweddingstationery.com for more details.
9+ Months - Strike A Pose!
Ok, 9 months is all about research, planning and booking. The bridesmaid outfits and your dress are priority numero uno. It’s time to start thinking about your overall styling for the big day because Cinderella will go to the ball (past midnight hopefully) and look a billion glitzy dollars regardless of budget! Grab a ton of wedding dress images and stick them in a ma-hoosive scrap book for inspiration, take this along to your chosen dressmaker or store for inspiration... remember the Ipad if you are using Pinterest! Make sure you allow yourself a dressing up day with the girls and try on lots of dresses you might not even like the look of. Sometimes a girl can be surprised. Infact in my experience, it is always the dress we think won’t work that does! Whatever you do, just remember that magical line, ‘Fashions fade, style is eternal’ - Yves Saint Laurent. What a God!
Lets Talk More About - The Dress
For many brides-to-be this is where the pressure really kicks in - unearthing the one! And I am not talking about your man! The hunt for a dream dress can often be a stressful affair and knowing where to start can be just as bad. Heading straight to your local bridal store can sometimes be a bit of a gamble and often means you settle without fully investigating all options. So, before commencing all that legwork, why not start on the sofa and check out my four fabulous online finds to get an idea of what might work for you. Yes, these little nuggets of gorgeousness are buzzing with bridal fashion, direct from the coolest catwalks on the planet and offer a stunning array of glitzy artisan accessories that you just won’t find on any standard high street. We are talking A-list here people, but not necessarily with the A-list price tag! These little black books of fashion heaven are teaming with originality and updated hourly to ensure you are kept abreast of what’s hot and happening literally as it happens! Here’s my official run-down Ladies:
www.lovemydress.net - I just adore this site for sourcing super sassy accessories and discovering new designers most of us would never hear of otherwise!
www.weddinggowntown.com/blog - From Vera Wang to Valentino, if it’s on the catwalk it’s in wedding-gown-town! I love this blog for identifying new trends and pointing out upcoming styles for the season ahead.
www.bridechic.blogspot.com - A joyous homage to bridal fashion, with Bride Chic we also get some really fantastic out-of-the-box ideas and distinct styling themes - ideal if you are looking for a strong non-traditional big day look.
www.lovelybride.com/blog - And finally with Lovely Bride we uncover some edgy classics alongside a wonderful mix of real life weddings - perfect for seeing how a dress truly comes to life on the day itself.
9+ Months Countdown
Book wedding insurance... Get the low-down via www.moneysupermarket.com/wedding-insurance
Start researching dresses, shoes and accessories. Organise a mission-brides-dress-day with the girlies to check out a whole mix of bobby dazzlers... with a few glasses of bubbly thrown in simply for glamour purposes of course! Oh I feel a Wedding Fairy SOS coming on!
Order invites and thank-you cards
Finalise your gorgeous guest list
Research local accommodation for out-of-town guests and start putting a list of options at varying budgets together to include in your invite.
Consider putting together a fun wedding website to keep guests up-to-date with your plans or create a Facebook page to stay in touch. Visit www.mywedding.com/free-wedding-websites for ideas.
Plan the honeymoon and consider booking now if you are travelling in peak season and don’t forget to book time off work! For inspiration visit www.101honeymoons.co.uk
Make a final decision on your dress/shoes and place your order - this is the super exciting bit when the whole W thing starts to become a reality...
Pick out and order the bridesmaids dresses - J’adore www.maidstomeasure.com
Put together your gift list and remember to include present ideas to suit all budgets. For an alternative to the traditional retail gift list, check out www.turquoiseholidays.co.uk. I love their interactive online wedding gift list that allows your guests to make a cash contribution to your honeymoon package or buy an experience to enjoy whilst you are there! An ideal option if you are already fully loaded with toasters and tea towels... anyone for a Margarita?
Send out invites if your wedding is in peak season or to those who are coming from abroad (remember to put an RSVP date to save last minute chasing, include gift list details and wedding website link as appropriate). Remember your wedding day invite should also be suitably styled to reflect your overall theme for the big day, so guests get a clear understanding on the tone, look and formality of the wedding.
6+ Months - Let’s Get Ready To Rumble!
Oh yes, this is it! With only 6 months to go, you need to stop researching and start making some decisions quick sharp. The past few months have been spent putting in the ground work for your dream day and now you have to start making it a reality. Live by your big day bible and start spending!
When it comes to suppliers, make sure you always have a final two in mind, just in case one lets you down before you book for whatever the reason. Ensure you discuss payment procedures with any potential supplier in advance of booking. Some might have better deals than others therefore making your final decision a little easier! Make sure you get all agreements in writing.
In a few months time, everything is going to slot into place - I am hysterical just writing about it!
6+ Months Countdown
Send out invites NOW if you haven’t already
Start researching and book your photographer (don’t forget to look up family and friends who might be keen amateurs to get on-board for this role... great for the budget!), finalise menu with your caterers, start planning with your chosen florist and book a cake-maker (see my inspiration chapter at the end of this book for budget busting ideas including The Big Day Bake Off).
Start to look at the process of changing your name on legal documents; get together all necessary paper work...
Here’s a link to a great UK online resource that outlines all the key factors to consider: www.weddingguideuk.com/articles/legal/changingnamemarriage.asp. If you want to change your name on a passport for your honeymoon, you need to allow plenty of time to action this (6-8weeks) and you also need to get your minister or registrar to sign the passport form. Check out all legalities relevant to your home Country.
Your Fiancé should now start looking at outfits for himself and his key attendants - bestman/ushers/Father of the Bride etc. The team at www.hugharris.co.uk has a stand out collection.
Sit down with bridesmaids to delegate jobs. Traditionally ones chief bridesmaid will be tasked with planning the hen party and support in the overall wedding planning process where needed. Of course their main role is in helping to choose the dress and assisting the bride in getting ready on the wedding day itself. Do you want a bridal shower? If so, your chief bridesmaid might want to get planning this for you too!
Make sure your fiancé orders his wedding day outfit!
Book your honeymoon if you haven’t already!
Confirm the order for your ceremony and decide on plans for the service, readings and music (If you are getting married in a church you will need to talk to the minister and organist directly about the choice of music). The individual registrar or religious centre you have chosen to marry in will be able to provide a template for the ceremonies structure/legal regulations to guide you.
The important bit - discuss potential ideas or things you would like to do for the stag and hen party’s with maid of honor and best man. Visit www.gohen.co.uk and www.gostag.co.uk for some serious inspiration!
3+ Months - Time To Get This Party Started!
Well girls, the last 9 months of planning and research all comes into play right now as you lay down your cards and splash the last of your cash. Now is the time when your big day should really start taking shape. It’s exciting times... wedding rings, entertainment and dress fittings - the list is endless! This month has the potential to be rather hectic so make sure you set aside some quality r&r time to prevent any potential stress attack! Whatever the situ, just remember to keep calm and carry on with this 60 minute countdown!
Now sadly we are not all naturally gifted with being super organised, so if you do feel things are getting a little out of control and your plan is not going to plan as they say, make sure you to turn to a family member or friend for support. We all have that one person in our lives who loves to get out their a-z checklist at any given opportunity, so make sure you get them on board if needs be. There is still lots of time left so ultimately don’t panic. The aisle is in sight now I promise!
3+ Months Countdown
Book your wedding night hotel if not at same venue. Check out www.mrandmrssmith.com for some serious boutique action!
Pick out your blingtastic wedding rings! Take a look at www.hatton-garden.net for the very best from this World Famous jewellery and diamond centre in London.
Time for another dress fitting!
Book in your wedding day rehearsal, ideally a few days before the actual wedding.
Decide on the entertainment for your wedding - book a band or DJ. For a great mix of live music ideas visit www.bandsforhire.co.uk. And if you on the look-out for a harpist, toastmaster, circus performer or even a bagpiper visit www.alivenetwork.com!
Book that all important wedding day transport.
Make any final adjustments to your menu with the caterers. Remember to personalise! What is your ultimate 3 course dinner...?
Hire a make-up artist and hairdresser if you are not doing your own. Make sure you have a few trial runs to figure out a look you are happy with. If you are planning your own hair and make-up start experimenting with styles now.
Run through everything with your fiancé to make sure he/she has organised everything they were supposed to... attendant’s outfits, wedding gifts, rings, transport and any other specific duties assigned for the big day.
Find out if you need visas or inoculations for your honeymoon.
Best man and chief bridesmaid must now organise and book your stag and hen parties, ensuring they notify all hens and stags of arrangements and date. If you are planning a weekend break I would advise a 4-6month lead-time. The longer people have to prepare, save cash and pop the date in their diaries the better.
2+ Months - This Is It!
With just 2 months to go it’s time to have some fun people! Hopefully the nitty gritty details are now all under control and you can start thinking sexy undies and shopping with the girls. This is a time for you and your partner to really start enjoying the build-up. Practice your vows in bed, rehearse the wedding ceremony and wash it all down with a bottle or two of your favourite vino! The latter will definitely help with pre-day nerves, but defo don’t binge drink... think of your skin!
At this stage, I would also have another read through of this 60 min countdown to ensure your big day bible is going to plan and all the key elements have been checked off... just for peace of mind of course.
2+ Months Countdown
Chase any guests who have not RSVP’d
Start writing personalised vows and start considering content of speeches
Take this opportunity to buy some gifts for the wedding party and all those who have supported your journey.
Now is also a good time to purchase some wedding favours for your guests to enjoy at the reception. For a mix of fabulous ideas visit www.aweddinglessordinary.co.uk and for an old-skool trip down memory lane click www.lovehearts.com
Shop for decorations (more on this in my little black book at the end of this guide)
Give your caterers/venue a final number of guests and decide on a seating plan if you are having one.
Buy your honeymoon outfits and all the necessary essentials to go with. Whilst on the subject don’t forget your bridal underwear for the big day itself. For some seriously sassy numbers visit the motherland of all under-creations www.agentprovocateur.co.uk/bridal
1 Month - Let’s Get This Gig On The Road!
It’s not unusual for a spot of anxiety to start kicking-in, as the big day is just around the corner and almost a reality. A splash of adrenaline is never a bad thing. Now is the time when you both need to stand firm as a team and be there to support each other. Keep sight of how you felt 11 months ago and how magical you will feel on the wedding day itself. If you start tensing up over minor details, just stop and imagine how incredible it’s going to feel when you finally say I do. That special moment will help keep things in perspective.
Grab that box of tissues girls - I feel a ceremony coming on!
1+ Month Countdown
Have a final trial run with hair and makeup or, if you are doing your own make sure you are happy with the look you have decided on.
Go back for a final dress fitting and try on the entire planned outfit - dress, shoes, underwear, veil/tiara and accessories. Rock it girl!
Prepare place cards and menus for the tables if not already organised during the earlier stages as part of your overall stationery order.
Book your wedding day transport if you haven’t already.
Start wearing in your shoes at home so they feel comfortable for the day itself (only on carpet so as not to ruin them).
Make sure your fiancé has finished his vows/speeches. My eBook 50 top tips for giving the best best mans speech ever will make a perfect last minute gift for the best man to read through! And for general overall advice on speeches and much more for the groom, bestman and Father of the Bride visit www.iamstaggered.com
Buy a guest book for all your friends and family to sign on the day.
Pick a stunning going-away outfit! Check out some delicious designs via my friends at www.littleblackdress.co.uk
Make sure you have your something old, new, borrowed, and blue for good luck!
1 Week - I Am SO Excited And I Just Can’t Hide It!
One week to go....STAY CALM. There may well be a last minute crisis, but if you remember everything from the last 12 months of planning you will be just fine. Where there is a will there is a way - truest saying my Mother ever taught me!
1 Week to Go - Countdown
Pick up your dress if you haven’t already
Pack for your honeymoon - don’t forget the passport!
Make sure you have purchased your holiday insurance and currency
Speak with key suppliers - venue, caterers, florist, cake-maker and band to re-confirm booking details so you are not panicking the day before
Plan and host a rehearsal dinner for immediate family and key wedding party (optional).
Make sure your fiancé has an appointment to have his hair cut and is prepped with some serious grooming apparatus for the big day itself! Check out www.meetthebulldog.com for manly ideas.
Plan out a schedule for the day itself based on timings for the ceremony and reception, so every member of your key wedding party knows where they need to be and when. Make sure you allow yourself plenty of time to get ready in the morning and your driver allows enough time to get you to the service on time - ish! A little lateness is clearly tradition!
Enjoy your hen and stag nights if you haven’t already!
1 Day To Go - I Am Getting Married In The Morning!
Just soak up every moment from now on because this day is all yours. Go with the flow and let everything simply fall into place. Enjoy a champers breakfast and make sure your nearest and dearest pamper you big time. Good luck for tomorrow...
1 Day to Go Countdown
Have a big glass of wine and relax - here’s to the ceremony!
THE WEDDING DAY HAS ARRIVED! ENJOY AND SOAK UP EVERY SECOND.
And there’s still more to come - don’t forget the honeymoon...
PHEW! AND RELAX twf xx