The Wedding Fairy’s Essential Questions Answered

I’m worried about the weather spoiling my wedding. Any tips on making my wedding weather proof!?

Right, first of all don’t panic! Sadly even I, your devoted Wedding Fairy cannot control the weather but, like any decent wedding planner would advise - it’s always essential to think ahead and plan for every eventuality.

Immediately of course the seasons come to mind, so consider carefully the time of year you want to get wed. Summer is of course your safest bet, but generally the most expensive. Personally, I love a delicious winter wedding. Yes it will be a bit chilly but, we often experience clear, sunny days (especially in the UK) at this time of year and it is always super romantic. A candlelit space is always dreamy, just pop on your feathered bolero and you are good to go!

On a serious note though, make sure your venue has alternative inside-spaces available should you need them for photos/drinks reception etc that might have been planned for an open-air space and ensure your chief bridesmaid always has instant access to an uber-glam brolly to shield you from any potential downpour. If you are getting wed abroad make sure you also check average weather conditions before you book and consider your outfit carefully. If you are marrying in a humid climate you need to ensure you dress appropriately in a light flowing number. A sweaty bride is a total no no!

Any tips for saving money when organising a wedding?

Always! As discussed earlier, in the initial stages of planning your big day, have a think about all those people existing in your world that you can tap into for a cheeky deal on flowers, cakes, transport, hair/make-up and DJ etc. Make sure you shout from the rooftops that you are preparing to walk up the aisle of love, as there is always a friend or family member who can recommend a local expert - which always helps out on the budget front. If you want to be super brave why not opt for a DIY wedding and have a go at some of the elements yourself. Some local colleges offer a whole spectrum of courses from cake making to flower arranging. Most importantly, whatever options you choose don’t be scared to barter. Most wedding services are on a local level so get tough and strike up a good deal - the W word can add pounds onto your services unnecessarily. If this is not really the way you role and you find it uncomfortable talking figures, get a friend or family member on-board who loves to negotiate a deal (we all have them), so you can ensure your budget is stretched to its absolute limits. Check out more on DIY Weddings and big day savings in my little black book.

Legal questions: How far in advance do I have to get my banns read out and notify the registrar?

If holding a traditional religious ceremony, the Banns need to be read out in your local parish church at least three Sundays before the big day itself and usually there is no need to involve your local registry office. For a civil marriage ceremony, your local registry office will generally take around 21 days to process and publish your license. Thankfully doing a Britney, by tying the knot on a whim, whilst severely intoxicated Vegas style is currently illegal in the UK. No regrets in the morning for you my darlings!

If you have a specific religious ceremony in mind, it’s always best to check with the individual centre concerned (at the beginning of your planning process) to find out any particular procedures/ codes of practice. Again, if outside the UK check relevant laws for your Country.

What would help make my wedding personal?

Think about your interests and passions as a couple and build those into your big day. It might be that you have a specific theme in mind, or maybe you could just add-in some subtle touches together such as; selecting your favourite flowers for the bouquet or personalising the reception menu - maybe inspired by your first dinner date?! Think about the demographics of your big day and any regional specialities. Are there local customs, traditions, or food produce that you can tap into to make your wedding day unique? Are you both mad film buffs and want to theme the whole day with a touch of Hollywood old school glamour? It might be that you are addicted sky-divers, in which case the sky’s quite literally the limit! Be original and inventive at every opportunity, focusing primarily on the things you love and how you can integrate into the wedding.

Any tips for making my guests feel special/appreciated?

Personalise, personalise and personalise your wedding some more, oh and make sure you work that room! Remember, it’s all about adding your individual character to each element of the celebration... cakes, flowers, dresses and all the big day regalia!

How to keep children and flower boys/girls occupied at the ceremony/reception?

A fun pack of goodies including games and colouring apparatus is always a good way to keep the little ones entertained during the wedding breakfast. Always check to see what additional services your venue can offer if you have a troop of little ones - a children’s entertainer always goes down a treat!

What are the most important questions to ask?

Rule number 1 - ask a supplier whatever is on your mind and don’t be afraid to say what you think. If you are not happy with something don’t let it eat you away internally - this is your moment so make sure your opinions are heard...

The minister

Ensure your chosen minister guides you through your ceremony - clearly, from beginning to end so you can think about and add in all those personal little touches to make the day your own. Remember, many vicars, priests and registrars are performing ceremonies on a regular basis, so it’s important not to be just another day. Clarify where photographs can be taken, if confetti can be thrown outside the venue and ensure any additions to the service, such as music or readings are agreed at the rehearsal stage and not on the day itself!

The reception venue

Talk budget budget budget! Make sure you unearth all the venue costs with your event planner during the initial stages and get everything in writing... hidden costs have a way of rearing their ugly head as the wedding nears if you are not careful. Workout a total spend per head so you can keep on track with your budget, ensuring proceedings do not spiral out of control. Do not be tempted by any extras if you have not got the cash to splash! Trust me - it will only stress you out more in the end. Also, make sure you establish whether the venue will be exclusively yours for the whole day or not. Some venues will host more than one wedding at a time, which can be a problem for many brides-to-be.

The photographer

Find out exactly what your package includes in terms of on the day shooting and prints/electric images post wedding. Many couples are left disappointed by all the extra costs involved in producing the wedding day photo album, so make sure you know what you’re getting before booking! This is a key rule with all suppliers in general. Also, in terms of imagery, are you looking to catch the day in a light documentary/reportage style or more formal portrait? Perhaps a mix of both? Ask your photographer to take you through all the options/packages available for the whole day and request references from previous clients.

The band/DJ

It’s all about the music people! Get that set list signed off and ask a family member or a trusted source to attend the venue sound check, just to make sure Aunt Bessie isn’t going to be blown out the fire exit by extreme air guitar action!

The wedding transport

Organisation is the name of the game here people. Make sure your chosen supplier puts everything in writing with regards to their terms of contract and total costs for the period of hire. Ensure they allow for delays (at least 45mins either side of the ceremony), as generally a modern vehicle would be used for more than one ceremony per day. Vintage cars usually only operate one maybe two weddings in a day, but are obviously more expensive. Get your route planner confirmed in writing and ensure your driver will be armed with an umbrella and blankets to guard the bottom of your dress, just in case of a mini downpour whilst stepping out of said vehicle. Most importantly, is champagne included?!

The florist

Maximise your florist’s skills by arriving to your first consultation with a scrapbook of images, pulled from a range of trend driven magazines to reflect your individual style and look. Give each of your experts as much inspiration as possible. In my experience this is a real help for the florist in particular and means they can spend more time on creating and less of your cash thinking! Push your floral budget to the max by also ensuring your supplier uses local buds of the season.

The cake maker

When it comes to the baking action try and satisfy all your guest’s sweet fantasies by serving two or three fillings - sadly fruit cake is not as popular as it once was! Get tasting and sampling post haste, ensuring all is washed down with a hefty glass of champers in practice for ones toast!

Alternatively, you could be super brave by going DIY and making the cake yourself or by holding a big day bake off with prizes for the best taste and design. This concept is really growing in popularity and makes a great talking point during the reception itself plus its deliciously fat-free on the budget front! More on this in my wedding ideas guide in the next chapter.

Hair and make-up

Again, arm yourself with a host of imagery that reflects your individual tastes and style for inspiration. Select a few luscious shots from your personal collection and add in some snaps of your favourite celebs, so you can trial a range of different looks with your hairdresser/make-up artist to see what works best. Even if you are doing your own make-up, it is a good idea to experiment with a range of looks based on the styling of your dress. Ensure you take a digi-camera along to the salon, so your hairdresser can snap your hair from different angles to give a 360degree perspective. Always add an additional 30mins onto your big day schedule as a safety measure for overall styling prep.

Stationery

I am a massive fan of personalising the big day itself and the wedding stationery is one way of getting your guests in the mood pre-event. This is also your key bit of kit to set the tone for your big day celebrations, which in turn will inspire guest outfits and their gifts. There are now masses of sites online where you and the other half can design your own invitations together... much fun over a glass of wine or two! Check out www.pureinvitation.co.uk

Is it reasonable to ask my bridesmaids to pay for their bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewellery plus hair and make-up? Do I need to buy them a thank you present?

Personally I would always recommend allocating a budget for the fundamental elements and a thank you gift is an absolute must! Again, this is all really down to personal circumstance. If the budget is limited, be upfront right from the beginning about what you can/cannot cover, so that each individual can make an informed choice as to whether they can afford to take on the role or not. In my experience people are always happy to support financially if you are clear from the beginning and give them plenty of notice to save!

How long before the wedding should you send out invitations and when should the RSVP date be?

Well I always recommend anything between 6-9months before the wedding day itself, especially if you have guests travelling from far afield or abroad. If you are working on a shorter timescale then invites need to go out ASAP. In terms of RSVP, again this depends on your individual timescale but, up to 6 weeks from the date of invite is customary.

What’s a good running order for the day?

It’s your day so rip up the rule book and role how you want to! I hate rules!

Traditionally however, the ceremony is generally followed by photographs and then a drinks reception at your chosen venue. The wedding breakfast is next with speeches post meal, climaxing in the cutting of your cake. Finally it’s time to hit the dance floor, enjoy the evenings buffet action and shed a tear over the first dance. Anyone for a slice of quiche...

Tasks/responsibilities of the bestman on the day?

Besides suit hire and of course the infamous stag night pre-wedding, the best man is also responsible for organising the ushers on the day itself and for coordinating key wedding personnel to travel onwards to the reception venue (if applicable). Obviously next comes the best mans speech oh and we mustn’t forget those all important rings during the ceremony itself! The best man is officially your right hand man so pick wisely.

How long should you allow for your professional photos?

Allow 2 weeks for digital images and then another 2-4 weeks for you final shots - ya both gonna look GORGEOUS!

Is a receiving line (bride/groom and parents meeting everyone) necessary? When should it be done?

Personally I love a receiving line as it sets a welcoming tone to the opening of your reception and for the rest of your day. This does not have to be a stiff formal line up - more a relaxed greeting at the venue just before guests sit down for the wedding breakfast.

What’s the best way to stay calm on the day?

Realistically when it comes to the day itself, what more can you do? Yes, there may be a few minor dramas along the way but, it’s important not to panic - simply go with the flow, soak up every second and enjoy your moment whatever happens. Embrace your day because this is no trial run - This is it! Allow yourself some you time in the morning, just to get this positive thought process on track for the whole day ahead.

Ideas for table names?

Follow your theme if applicable, alternatively you could look at favourite holiday destinations, famous landmarks or maybe hubby is a big footie fan? Table names can often provide great material for the best mans speech, especially if a few guests are linked into the story as well. Any subject matter that has a personal connection to the bride and groom always works well as an ice breaker and conversation point.

People to thank?

All those nearest and dearest to you, and of course your main crew that has made this wedding extravaganza happen... ushers, bridesmaids, pageboys, bestman, Mums and Dads etc. Remember, ones husband should also thank all your guests for sharing the day with you during his speech. Some couples also like to reference guests that could not make the day or are no longer with us. Traditionally the best man reads out any telegrams/messages to the couple.

Tasks that need doing after the wedding?

Remember to firstly get all those hired items back to their respective owners! Make sure suppliers are paid as agreed and invoices are cleared. Send out your thank-you cards (including suppliers) and organise a post-wedding party night for all those key members of your big day celebrations to enjoy drinks, the wedding video and a few honeymoon snaps! If you haven’t already changed names/marital status on all your legal documents you should start that process as well.

Right, that’s it! All I can say now is best of luck and enjoy being Mr and Mrs... Mr and Mr or Mrs and Mrs.

Next up it’s time to get inspired with my mix of wedding planning ideas and top online big day destinations...