CHAPTER 17

PREVENT RELAPSES

Firstly, we have to know the meaning of lapse. A lapse is a brief return to feeling down or to your old habits. It is a common and temporary situation. As opposed to a lapse, a relapse is a complete deterioration or complete return to your initial state of health after a temporary improvement.

For example, you had a phobia of spiders, and now you know that it is best not to scream when seeing one. Somewhat, you calm yourself down, breathe, tell yourself some coping thoughts, and gradually ignore the spider. So, if you see a spider in a room one day and you scream, that is a lapse. If you then go back to screaming and running whenever you see a spider, then we can call that a relapse. Lapses can progress to relapses, but this should not necessarily happen. You can stop a lapse from escalating into a relapse.

• When Does a Lapse Become a Relapse?

The general belief that what you say to yourself after a failure can make or break you is very much applicable here. What you say to yourself and think after a lapse can lead you back to the right track or throw you into relapse. Seeing a lapse as a failure can keep you sick and lead to a relapse. A better perspective is that you were able to have emotional wellness before; you can have it again; process whatever happened before and learn from your mistake.

Going back to our spider-phobia example: if, after avoiding the spider all day, you said to yourself, “It looks like I'm bringing back old habits; I need to do better tomorrow and get myself together!” you would discover that your lapse would probably decline or stop completely, and now you can face your anxieties and fears head-on. If you avoided spiders all day, and at the end of the day said to yourself, “All that I did was a waste, now I'm here again. I'm such a jerk! Why am I even trying when there is no cure?” this is not really helpful, and it won't help your recovery.

• Can I Prevent Lapses and Relapses?

Yes, you can prevent lapses and relapses, and here are seven clues you can use:

• Do Not Give Up on Practicing

The best way to prevent a lapse is by regularly practicing your CBT skills. If you practice regularly, you will be in good shape to handle whatever situations you might face.

• Understand Yourself (Red Flags)

Relapse doesn't happen suddenly. It occurs over a period of time. Preventing relapse by understanding yourself is not complicated. Understand yourself by identifying your triggers, asking for help, and sharing your feelings.

• New Challenges

We are all works in progress, and you are no exception. This means there is always a chance to get better, and you can work on yourself and live a more fulfilling life. It will be less easy to backslide into your old ways if you deliberately work on new ways of overcoming your anxiety. An excellent way to prevent lapses is by challenging yourself regularly and taking up new scary situations. Make a list of cases that sound scary to you and initiate anxiety when you think of them, and work on them.

• Learn from Your Past Experiences

Lapses are not synonymous with failure, rather they are opportunities to learn and get better. Figure out the situation that always leads to you having a lapse and make a plan that will help you deal with these situations better in the future.

As I said earlier, what you say to yourself after a lapse can impact your behavior. Have a few positive things that you say to yourself. CBT has helped you, and you cannot throw away everything you have learned. Going back to the beginning means having anxiety and not knowing how to handle it. Going back to practicing your CBT skills will help you master your anxiety again in a short time.

• Be Kind to Yourself

Remember that lapses are not the end of the world; take it easy on yourself and learn. No one is above making mistakes. We all try to speak nicely to people, so do the same to yourself; don't say harsh things to yourself. Lapses can be a blessing in disguise at times because you get a chance to learn that you can go back to fashion out a new formula of dealing with your situation.

• Enjoy Yourself

Make sure you always take the time to rest and relax from all the hard work you are doing. Appreciate yourself; buy yourself a nice meal, get something new, or hang out with your friends. You can also reward yourself by pampering yourself and taking some time to relax.

• Tips for Preventing a Relapse

People suffering from episodes of depression can have crushing, intense feelings. The following strategies can help prevent depression relapse:

• Have supporting relationships.
• Avoid isolation. It is imperative to surround yourself with understanding, kind, and supportive people.
• Avoid and modify depressive thinking patterns.
• CBT can help you change your thinking style.
• Follow your prescribed medication.
• Work together with your psychiatrist and follow any treatment pattern they give you.
• Be ready for a relapse. It is advisable to plan for relapse and act upon signs as quickly as they appear.

• Correcting and Coping With a Relapse