A GLOBAL WARNING ABOUT
GLOBAL WARMING

I explained that I’m not worried about global warming I mean climate change I mean, climate change, for several reasons, the first being that whereas the internal combustion engine once appeared ubiquitous and untoppable, it is being phased out more rapidly than anyone could have imagined. If you don’t believe me examine the price of palladium (integral to hybrid engines) versus the price of platinum (integral to catalytic converters in conventional engines) over the past three years. Take a whiff of the demand for nickel in recent years, and nickel is as central to the production of a hybrid engine as is palladium. Let’s go on a field trip to a nickel smelter and inhale the air above. Don’t you just love the smell of sulphuric acid in the morning?

Second, the cost of generating electricity through solar and offshore wind has plummeted in the past couple decades, the former through increasing the efficiency of photovoltaic cells close to the theoretical maximum, and the latter through manufacturing breakthroughs which facilitate the production of larger and more efficient blades. An added benefit is that with larger blades, birds are able to see trouble ahead more vividly and can therefore fly around these obstacles – it is a scientifically proven fact that windshields are far riskier to their well-being than wind turbines, and because they are so large, they are better “target practice” than my said windshield. King coal is dying a sure if not sudden death, and it is no longer necessary for renewable electricity to be heavily subsidized. Finally, the golden age of spewing pollutants into the atmosphere was the 1950s and 1960s, which was also the golden age of Growth.

I shouldn’t say I don’t care, but I should say I care less and I don’t care as much as many. I belong to the minority who believes the dumping of toxic waste which contaminates a municipal water supply, turning it brownish yellow, is more of an emergency than fumes from a hybrid vehicle which seep into the atmosphere eventually but without a clear and direct impact on public health, let alone immediate – nonetheless, these HVs must incur penal fiscal treatment for failing to be sufficiently Green.

Those who are right on claim it’s climate not weather and that the climate changes but nothing else does, such as the energy intensity of the lower Growth or the capacity of societies to adapt, or consumption predilections. Speaking of capacity to adapt, fish may not be intelligent beings, but their life span is short and across a fairly small number of generations, they have developed a form of machine learning to swim around offshore wind poles. As disclosed previously, unlike fishermen in the north of England, they understand that it is unwise to trust a person who lives to lie, and they, uniquely, have been able to take back control. Fish have free will and have a choice about whether to bite the lure, unlike lemmings.

But fracking, come on. Injecting toxic chemicals into the earth to dislodge hydrocarbons from rocks, so as to generate cheap energy? And someone will gladly drink the water from this new and improved aquifer, untreated? Who will they vote for in the next election? The untreated aquifer may change their molecular structure completely, rendering them alien beings, but thinking about it, in which states are true aliens eligible to vote? Or do the errors in their genetic code qualify as pre-existing conditions?

I care far more about litter and noise pollution on the street in front of me than I do about plastic straw pollution half way across the world, because as the noted sociologist Jo Lumley has remarked, who do they think is going to pick up this litter? Veritably, the inventor of the mute button has done enough to earn the Nobel Peace Prize.

Climate alarmists, whose go-to attack medium is the musical montage, prey on fears, fears of not confirming, of not fitting in, would have us believe that climate change is responsible for the lack of rainfall in states and countries which have been cartographically certified as deserts for millions of years, the rise of populism (because is there any evidence populism doesn’t cause climate change and vice versa?) and mankind’s desperate addiction to throw-away plastic straws. This is merely three of a very long list, and number nine will surprise you (the pan-European revolutions of 1848), as it’s taking the internet by storm, apparently, according to Spam-a-rama Tonite.

But Wrong on this score, it is the venerable rise of technology which fuels the single-syllable and single-cell propaganda of the populists. In 1951, “It bothered Vonnegut that the Computer Age had begun,” according to A Progression of Time and Viewpoint, April 1978.

However, if not for the 1848 Springtime of the Peoples, which spawned the Forty Eighters and the Third Great Migration, there would be no Texan Barbecue, and if not for glass eyes, someone else would have had to coin the phrase: Just one more thing. Although his grandparents gave the Romanovs benefit of the doubt for a generation and a half.

And so it goes, and so it goes

And so we beat on

For a larf the Vonnegut-inspired satirist substituted “oo” for “y” in every word ending in “ry.” Veroo tricky to remember to do this everoo time.

OMG OMG

This must be true, because I read it on Fakebook.