Rowan K.
The foreplay had been delightful and at long last it was the moment when I was going to enter Sonja for the first time. She was at the heavy breathing stage and ready. I had my prick just pressing lightly against her labia. In another moment I’d be there.
“Stop.”
For an instant I was going to thrust in. I decided not to else the bitch could legitimately call it rape. It took all my self-control but I got off her. “What’s the matter?”
“I changed my mind.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
The stupid non-fucking cow hadn’t changed her mind at all. This was one of her power plays. She’d been into this power thing ever since we started going out. I managed not to let her see how pissed off I was. Instead I went into the kitchen of the little weekend cottage we’d rented for the consummating event and made tea.
The kettle was about to boil when she came out in her dressing gown. I was still nude. “What are you doing?”
“Making tea. You want some?”
“Don’t be silly. Come back to bed.”
“What for?” I continued with the tea-making.
“I was just teasing you. I didn’t really mean for you to stop.”
“I’m sorry, Sonja. I took you seriously.”
“Are you cross with me?” she said in a stupid little girl voice.
“Not cross exactly.”
“What then?”
The tea was almost ready to pour. “I think ah . . . disappointed in you would better express it.” That was a lie. I was so pissed off with her that it was the closest I’ve ever come to hitting a woman.
I poured out two cups and handed her one. “Let’s drink it in the living room.”
I set out to the living room without waiting for her reply. She followed.
Sonja’s instinct was to attack when she wasn’t getting her own way. “Are you going to sulk the whole weekend?”
“Sulk?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Well, if that’s what you call sulking the answer is no. I shall be all right in the morning.”
Attacking hadn’t got her anywhere.
“Well, I’m going to bed.”
“Goodnight, Sonja.”
I finished my tea and slept on the bed in the spare room without bothering to make it up properly. A wank helped me get off to sleep.
Next morning Sonja made an effort. She brought me tea in bed in her sexy see-through nightie. I managed to sound cordial. My thoughts were if I never saw her again it would be too soon.
I showered and put on shorts and a T-shirt. It had the promise of being a lovely day. Sonja accepted my suggestion that we have breakfast in the village and then have a look around. She took my hand as we strolled to the village. There was a nice little restaurant serving breakfasts and we went in. We made conversation and there was no reference to the previous night. I tried to be friendly toward her but it was an effort.
The stupid girl didn’t seem to realize how pissed off with her I was. She nattered on brightly about inconsequential things. It was driving me up the wall. However I did my best not to show it.
Maybe she picked up a vibe. She went quiet for a moment then said, “I’m sorry about last night. That was really stupid of me.”
“Perhaps not, Sonja. I suspect that at some level you really didn’t want it to happen.”
That floored her. Her mouth opened and closed. She didn’t know what to say to retrieve the situation.
She’d told me she was a virgin, boasted it in fact. That had surprised me because I’d assumed that at her age, twenty-two, she’d have had some experience. Maybe it was true, maybe it wasn’t, but it suited me to take her claim as true. After last night I wanted disengagement from this relationship but without a messy scene.
“No. Like I said, I was just teasing you.”
“You wanted me to plead for it?”
“Well, yes. Look, I know it was stupid of me. And I am truly sorry.”
“Sonja, you aren’t stupid. You are bright and you have more common sense than anyone I know. You know that to call stop at a moment like that is the ultimate no-no in a relationship. So you wouldn’t tease for the fun of it. You may have thought you were teasing but that wasn’t the real reason at all.”
“Then what was?”
“I don’t know but I strongly suspect that you aren’t ready for what was about to happen.” I paused there and when she didn’t say anything I went on, “Or perhaps in your own mind you knew that I wasn’t the man you wanted it to happen with.”
The conversation wasn’t going at all along the lines she’d expected or hoped for. What she’d wanted was for me to plead and beg for it. She’d have grudgingly surrendered and then she’d have me under her thumb right where she wanted. At least, that was my analysis.
To hammer the point home I said, “But either way, Sonja, I’ll sleep in the spare room again tonight so you can relax.”
She still hadn’t said anything.
“Do me a favor would you? While I settle the bill nip up to that clothes shop we passed and buy me a pair of knickers.” I handed her a bank note.
“What for?”
“One way or another I’m going to get into a woman’s pants this weekend.” I walked over to the till, leaving her there.
I didn’t expect her to do it, but after I’d paid she wasn’t around. I strolled back toward the shop and she emerged as I got there.
“Here’s your change. I’ll keep them in my bag until we’re back at the cottage. But you aren’t going to need them.”
She was so sweet and docile after that. Back at the cottage it was Sonja’s suggestion that we sunbathe in the secluded garden. She even took off her top. I have to admit that was a nice touch but I didn’t accept her invitation for me to go nude. I might have run out of self-control, having used it all up the previous night.
Late afternoon we went inside and showered, Sonja making a point of letting me see her nude. Very nice she looked too.
“Are you going to try on your panties?” she asked when I emerged from the shower.
“Nahh. I’ll save ’em for driving home tomorrow.”
“Are you really going to sleep in the other room tonight?”
“Yeah. It’s better I do. You used up all my self-control last night. If you were to change your mind again you’d get raped.”
“I won’t change my mind. I promise.”
“Too risky, Sonja.”
She accepted that. She didn’t have much choice but to accept it.
Next day, we had a good breakfast and I nipped out and got the Sunday papers. We spent the morning reading them.
The weekend hadn’t gone well for Sonja. I was fairly sure that she’d planned on letting me have sex with her and then she would have had me hooked. I think she saw me as good husband material even if she couldn’t control me as well as she would have liked.
The more I thought about it, her saying stop when she did was the stupidest thing any woman could have done, bearing in mind she had let it get to that stage. To my mind it showed a complete lack of understanding of the situation and a lack of consideration for the partner. What surprised me though was that I no longer had any lust for her. Seeing her nude in the shower hadn’t touched me at all. And I’d been nude too but without an erection. I supposed it was because I no longer thought much of her as a person that I didn’t feel any lust. I knew then for sure that I should get out of this relationship.
“So are you wearing those panties I got you?” she asked, breaking a long silence on the drive home.
“Maybe.” I wasn’t.
She gave an exasperated sigh.
“See for yourself.”
She didn’t.
“You and I haven’t worked out, have we, Sonja?”
“We could do.”
“Not after this weekend.”
“What do you mean?”
“This weekend was to consummate our relationship. That was our intention. We had the opportunity and even the weather was nice. I for one was greatly looking forward to it. I thought you were too. Yet we didn’t. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
We pulled up at her place. I got out and took her suitcase. She’d brought much more stuff than she’d needed.
“So when do we see each other again?”
“You want a post-mortem?”
“It might help for next time.”
“Well, bring a friend. Your sister or someone, else we’ll fight. By next weekend I should be OK.”
“OK?”
“I’ll have got over the disappointment. Give me a call to say what time and where.”
She never did call, but on the following Friday evening her sister Avril turned up at my place. Avril demanded to know what I’d done to Sonja. She seemed all steamed up about it.
We had tea and I told Avril what had happened as I saw it: just the facts, no interpretation, no delving into thoughts and feelings. That came later.
Question time: “Why did you stop at that point?” Avril asked. “Why didn’t you just carry on?”
“I briefly considered that but ‘stop’ means stop. If I’d carried on it would have been rape.”
“But later she asked you to come back to bed?”
“Yes.”
“So why didn’t you?”
“I was no longer in the mood.”
“How did you feel when she said stop?”
“I had a whole rush of emotions. Initially, I was angry. Then it occurred to me that perhaps I’d manipulated her into the situation, she wasn’t ready for it. Or even that she really preferred someone else. Maybe an old flame or someone.”
I went on: “You know, Avril, I’ve been going out with Sonja for six months. For the first three I didn’t touch her. We never even held hands. Slowly we got together: a kiss, a cuddle, some light petting. It was slow progress by any standard. Then this idea of a weekend away came up. It seemed a great idea to me and Sonja was enthusiastic about it. She even bought some new clothes for it. On the way there it was all sweet and lovey-dovey and Sonja seemed keen and excited at what was going to happen. According to her it would be her first time ever.
“We undressed, got into bed, there was that lovely skin-on-skin contact and some gentle fondling. I was on top, Sonja had her legs spread and I was gently pressing on her . . . her threshold. Then she says stop. Another two seconds and it would have been too late.”
“Hmm. Really I don’t know what to say. Except that she’s very upset about you dumping her.”
“Well, I’m not all that pleased about it either. I put up with the slow progress but to cry ‘stop’ when she did was unethical in my book. It’s probably for the best though, Avril. I don’t see us being happy with each other.”
“Why not give it another try? I know she’s learned a lesson from what happened.”
“I don’t think it would work. There was something else.”
“Yes?”
“After what had happened, we still had the rest of the weekend and Sonja knew she’d done the wrong thing. She even said she was sorry about it.”
Avril’s eyebrows went up. She knew her sister seldom acknowledged fault.
“But after what had happened I didn’t feel any desire for her. Nothing. If we tried again and I still felt the same way it would have been a fiasco for both of us.”
“Oh dear.”
“So the best advice you can give your sister is to tell her not to castrate her boyfriends.”
Avril understood what I meant. She looked shocked for a moment and then nodded. “Well, it proves one thing. There are two sides to every story. Sonja’s version was a lot different from yours.” She paused then looked me in the eyes. “I’m inclined to believe your version. Sonja does like to dominate in her relationships.”
I grinned. I knew that already. I’d seen her little ploys in action. They’d been easy enough to frustrate.
“What she liked so much about you was that she couldn’t dominate you.”
“Why does she do it, Avril? Surely she’s never going to get a man who’ll put up with her wiles?”
“Yes, she can, easily. There are lots of chaps who like that sort of thing. Trouble is she despises them after a while. That’s why you were so special to her.”
“Hmm. I suppose I’m well out of the relationship.”
“I think you are. But I’m going to tell her what you said about castrating her boyfriends.”
“Well, I hope I soon get . . . uncastrated. Not feeling any lust was quite a shock to me . . . I need—”
“What?”
“Avril, would you please do me a big favor? I need to check myself for lust.”
Her eyes widened. It dawned on me just how attractive Avril was. Until now I’d just seen her as Sonja’s little sister. “Er, what do you want to do?”
“May I kiss you?”
Now that Avril had my interest I somehow knew that she was the kind of girl who liked men being lustful, the way they were meant to be. She was actually concerned about my metaphorical castration. She wanted to be helpful in that regard.
Avril didn’t say yes but her body language and expression indicated that she was happy for me to give her an experimental kiss. I did so lightly, our lips just brushing. I tried again with more passion. We ended up in an embrace, first on, then in, my bed.
An hour later we surfaced. “I don’t think Sonja did you any permanent harm,” Avril said.
“Avril, that was so beautiful. Thank you.”
“What did you do with the knickers you got Sonja to buy for you?” Avril asked me as we were dressing.
I’d forgotten about that. It had been only to make a point. “They’re in a paper bag in the drawer.”
Avril had no qualms about delving in a man’s underwear drawer. The paper bag was still sealed and had obviously never been opened. She looked at the bag as if she was going to open it then put it back in the drawer. “So you’ve never worn them?”
“I haven’t even seen them.”
“Let’s see what Sonja chose for you.” She took the bag out of the drawer again, took out the contents: a minimal thong in black lace.
“Not my kind of garment at all. You have them,” I told Avril. “Wear them when you come out with me this weekend.”
She smiled. “All right.”
The nice thing about Avril, she’s never told me to stop. It’s our wedding day tomorrow.