CHAPTER TWENTY - CADEE

 

Cooper and I don’t talk as he drives us back across the lake. I don’t even look at him, so I’m not sure if he looks at me. But I get the feeling he’s done.

Done with me. Done with rush. Done with Fang and Feather. Maybe even done with this life at High Court.

Right.

None of them ever walk away. Plenty of them bitch about their stupid, worthless, pointless lives. Lots of them, actually. But they don’t walk away.

Cooper’s question was legit though. I have money. I can leave. I could start a whole new life in a whole new place. Forget all the bad things ever happened. Be an entirely different person.

But why should I have to leave my home?

If his father is using me—and let’s be real here for a moment, I know what that check really was. Hush money—what does he want me to be quiet about? Why does he feel the need to pay me off?

There’s only one thing I can think of. The pregnancy and subsequent abortion.

And this just pisses me off.

Because they all get to pretend it never happened. And it didn’t. Not really. Because it didn’t happen to them. It happened to me.

I didn’t walk away today because my truth matters.

I’m not sure I really understand how this all relates back to the Glass House, or the secret society thing they have going in that tomb in the woods, or the scholarship. Especially the scholarship, because if the Chairman wants me to walk away and never come back, why bother offering me this opportunity?

Why offer me a brighter future if he’s just planning on ripping it away from me in the end? Is he just cruel?

From the way Cooper talks about him, he is. But how would I know? And don’t most of these rich kids have complicated relationships with their parents? I mean, Ax is sleeping in the boathouse, for fuck’s sake.

Cooper eases the boat into the slip and cuts the engine.

We look at each other for a second. Then he says, “Just say you’ll think about it, Cadee.”

“Think about what? Quitting?” I scoff. “I’m not quitting.”

“Why?” He’s pleading with me now. “Tell me what you need, Cades. And I‘ll get it for you. Anything you want, it’s yours.”

“If I walk away.”

“Why would you want to stay here? We’re going to ruin your life, Cadee. And I’m not being dramatic. I’m being real.”

I stand up and walk over to the steps, then look over my shoulder. “Well, you can try, I guess. We’ll see how far you get.”

Then I step out of the boat and walk down the deck. He follows, catching up with me. But when we get to the path that leads to the main door of the mansion, I veer to the right, heading for the side entrance to my room.

“Really?” Cooper calls. “You’re really just gonna walk away from me?”

I don’t answer and I don’t look back. I just slip around the side of the house and head towards the little patio that leads to my room.

I’m just reaching for the door when I hear Mona call out from next door. “Lovers’ quarrel?”

I look over my shoulder and study her. She’s kicking back on her patio couch underneath a light that must also act as a bug zapper because it’s zap-zap-zapping away. Her legs are crossed and her feet are up in the air. She’s wearing some kind of feathery, high-heel red slipper shoes and a short, purple satin robe open in the front to reveal a scarlet lace nightie.

Her dark hair is piled up on top of her head and I know this looks like she spent hours making it messy, but cute, the way people like Isabella do. But I know for a fact that Mona Monroe doesn’t give one fuck about her looks. She wore cut-off coveralls to the Glass House today.

And, of course, she is smoking.

“No,” I say, finally answering her question.

“Come over here,” she says. “I have a joint. Wanna smoke it?”

I hesitate.

“Don’t tell me ya don’t smoke. Come on. It’s legal now so what’s the problem?”

I don’t smoke. Anything. Not cigarettes or joints.

But… I don’t know. It’s not like I have a better offer waiting for me inside.

She laughs and sits up when I start crossing the grass between us. Her patio is a little bigger than mine. Both of them have a concrete floor and an awning overhead. But hers is surrounded by a short brick wall that matches her dark brick house. And there’s a little gate to pass through before you can enter.

I like the gate. If that patio was actually mine, and I actually had money to own a house, then I would consider half-walling in my patio and putting up a little decorative gate too.

But of course, that’s not my patio or my house so I don’t know why the hell I’m having renovation fantasies about it.

I push through the gate and plop down onto a huge overstuffed, circular patio chair. “How come you’re not at the party?”

“Do I look like the kind of girl who parties with Isabella Huntington?”

“They come to your parties.”

She pulls a joint out of her mess of hair, the same way she pulled a cigarette out of it down at the pool earlier, then smiles at my reaction. “Yeah. Because they want to use me.”

“Does that bother you?”

“Why should it? It’s not my money paying for anything around here. Besides, I like to trash the house at least twice a year so it can get redecorated.”

Wow. “Don’t your parents get mad about that?”

“Parents?” She laughs. “Have you seen any parents around here?”

I think about this for a moment. “No. But… I’ve never been on this side of the lake until a few days ago.”

“I don’t have parents.”

“Hmm. Me either.”

“Yeah. I like that about you.” She lights the joint and takes a draw on it, blowing out a sweet, but skunky-smelling puff of smoke. She hands it to me.

“I’ve never smoked before.”

“That’s not a secret.” Then she wiggles her fingers for me to take the joint.

I do and look at it for a moment.

“Just put it up to your lips and suck.” She giggles. “Pretend it’s Cooper’s cock.”

I shoot her a look.

“Or Ax’s. Or Lars’. Bully king of choice. They’re all the same, I suppose.” She pauses and looks at me, her cigarette still between her fingers. “Aren’t they?”

“Aren’t they what?”

“All the same.”

“No,” I say, putting the joint up to my lips and slowly sucking on the tip. I blow out the smoke, coughing.

“Easy there, Killer Cades. Just breathe in naturally. Enjoy it for a second. And then let it out. You’ll see. This is good shit. You’ll probably only need two hits to catch a buzz.”

“Catch a buzz?” I laugh. “I never thought I’d be having a conversation about catching a buzz with the infamous Mona Monroe.”

“Quit stalling. Take a real hit.”

I do. And this time I don’t cough because I just take a little teeny bit. I take a moment to taste it—gross—then blow it out.

Mona claps for me, smiling, truly looking delighted that I’m partaking with her. “OK. Don’t bogart.”

“What?” And oh, my God. I think I feel it. “I think I feel it,” I say. Then I take another quick sip of it.

“What did I just say? You’re bogartin’.”

I giggle the smoke out of my lungs. “I don’t even know what that word means.”

She giggles too. Then we laugh. Long, loud laughs. And I suddenly wonder why I have never smoked joints with Mona Monroe before tonight. “Just one more,” I say. “I’ve had a day.”

She laughs again. And so do I. And suddenly I completely understand why people smoke pot.

“Girl, that wasn’t a day. That was a whole year’s worth of shit you went through.”

“Yeah. Tell me about it.” I take another sip of smoke, then stop my bogarting—whatever that is—and pass it back.

She takes a long draw, gets a little dreamy look in her eyes as they cross to look at the joint between her lips, then holds it in and falls back into a mound of cushions. Her words come out with her smoke. “You should just walk away from it.” She holds the joint out for me.

“Yup,” I say. “I should.” Then I get up and walk over to her couch and sit down next to her to make sharing easier. I take another draw, then a few more when Mona doesn’t protest, enjoying this little moment of comradery, and then pass it back. Pretty sure I’m good now. I can feel the buzz and it is nice. I lie back in the pillows too, then take a deep breath and close my eyes.

“So how are they different?”

“Who?” I mumble.

“The Kings.”

“Mmm. I dunno. Lars is nice.”

“Yeah, I’ve always thought so too.”

“And Ax is protective.”

“He sure was today when that Dante fuck tried to suck your tits. And Cooper?”

I push the memory of Dante and Ax away and just think about Cooper for a moment. It’s a dangerous thing to do, thinking about him and all the things he admitted to me tonight. “Cooper is sad.”

She says nothing to that. But when I open my eyes, she’s staring intently at me.

I want to set her straight about Cooper and I. Tell her all my secrets. But I can’t. Because Cooper would get very mad at me. So I just sigh. “He’s just… I don’t know.”

“You like him.”

“I like all three of them, actually. But yes. I like Cooper more. He’s… both.”

“Both what?”

“Nice and protective.”

“Hmm. You know him far better than I do. So I’ll take your word for it. But I kinda like you, Cadee. I’ve always thought you were interesting. Schooling at home. Wandering around the woods. That painting you like to do. And you always had a book. I have often dreamed about being you.”

“What? Why the hell would you want to be me when you can be you?”

“Why the hell wouldn’t I? You don’t belong here and I do.”

I tsk my tongue. “Yep. Everyone’s been telling me that today too.”

“My point is—I like you. So I’m going to tell you something now. And I really want you to hear me. OK?”

I take a deep breath and nod.

“He’s dangerous, Cadee. We’re all dangerous. And no matter what you think, the reason everyone is telling you that you don’t belong, it’s not because we think we think we’re better than you. It’s because we want one of us to get away.”

“What?”

“And if it can’t be them, or me”—she continues without explaining—“then it should be you.”

I just stare at her for a moment.

“I know what everyone thinks of Isabella and her little minions. But she’s not what she appears to be. Trust me. Ask Cooper. He knows. It’s an act, Cadee. We’re all just… acting here. Nothing is what it seems. And if you keep going to the Glass House this summer, and God fucking forbid you actually make it to the end and get that scholarship, you’re going to be trapped here with us. We don’t want to see that happen. We really don’t. And if Isabella is mean to you, it’s because you have everything she wants, but won’t ever get. Half the time she’s jealous of you and the other half she just thinks you’re too stupid to live because you refuse to see what’s right in front of your face.”

I’m… silent for a moment. And I can’t think straight. My head is all fuzzy and dizzy.

“What the fuck?”

We both jolt up and see Cooper walking across the lawn with a mean scowl on his face. “Cadee, what the—Mona! What are you doing?”

Mona leans back into her pillow and then realizes she’s got a joint in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and starts to laugh as she smokes them both at once.

“We’re just smoking,” I say.

“You don’t smoke!” And boy, is he mad. “Let’s go, Cadee.” He side-eyes Mona, then drags his heated stare back to me. “I said let’s go. Now.”