END OF BOOK SHIT

Welcome to the End of Book Shit. This is the part of the book where I get to say anything I want about the story. It’s not edited and there will probably be some typos, so please ignore that shit. This is mostly just about the message.

I started writing an EOBS for this book a few days ago because I need this final chapter before I can put the paperback up and then order author copies. And I was a little bit stuck on it. I had maybe a thousand words. But they didn’t feel like meaningful words, so I put it aside and did something else.

It’s always a good idea to put writing aside when the ideas aren’t flowing. You can keep going. I’ve done it before. And in the case of some writers, you can actually do a whole book like that. You really can pull words out of your ass and hit publish.

But it’s almost never worth it.

The real reason I was writing the EOBS that day was because I was working on book two, Ruling Class, and I was stuck. It wasn’t writer’s block. I don’t do writer’s block. I just didn’t have a good scene set up for the next chapter and I’ve been doing this whole writing thing long enough now to take a break when that happens and do something else.

But the EOBS for Bully King and the next chapter of Ruling Class are related. Same story. So neither of these projects were going anywhere.

It’s stressful to stop writing a story (or an EOBS) because everything I write has a deadline. And I’m constantly counting days and words to make that deadline. I’m on a tight deadline for Ruling Class so taking time away from it isn’t helpful. And I had already taken a whole week off because I got injured and needed to recover.

But… there is no point in forcing the writing. Even if I want to.

So I decided to proof the audiobook for Bully King instead. It was a two-day job. And it helped a lot because I literally had to read and listen to every single word of Bully King.

It was nice though. I don’t normally produce my own audiobooks, I have a publisher. So I don’t proof them, they do all that for me. This was the first book I’ve done outside my publisher since 2015, I think. But it gave me a lot of time to focus on the story and the characters, which was very helpful for Ruling Class and I was only about two hours into the proofing before I had all fresh ideas for book two and was eager to get back to writing.

But I was still stuck on this EOBS. I figure if I’m going to write them then they should say something. They should carry some weight, add to the story itself, and be meaningful.

I’ve haven’t been on social media a lot lately. Deadlines, and the injury, and then, of course, I loathe politics. But I went to Facebook like an hour ago and saw two posts. One was something about current events (that nobody even knows is true or not, but people were all angry about it already) and the second one was about a reader who was upset that her favorite author unfriended her (presumably over some opinion she posted.)

And both of these things made me sad.

The first one because posting that current event (that might not even be true) was only about taking someone else down. It was a hateful post masquerading as self-righteous indignation.

And the second one because I felt for that reader. She is allowed to have an opinion (and I don’t know what she posted. Maybe she deserved that unfriending) and in a perfect world we would all be able to respect each other when we disagree.

But our world is far from perfect.

So then, even though I don’t like to make public statements of any kind, I decided to put up a post making a public statement. It was a very simple post that said: I don’t understand why people waste time on hate. Hate is such a waste of time.

And then I started thinking about people I have hated in the past. I had very good reasons for this hate. Like… I’m talking what happened to me was fucking Lifetime Movie of the Week kinda shit. I will put my past suffering up against ANYONE.

ANYONE.

I do care how fucking bad your life has been, MINE can compete. I might not win in the end, but no one would laugh, that’s for sure.

And then I started thinking… well, how did I get past it? How did I let it go and move forward?

And that memory of how I moved on came back to me in an instant.

Someone stole something from me. I’m not going to say what, but I will say it wasn’t a WHAT. It was a WHO. And it wasn’t about some girl stealing a guy. It was, as I said, Lifetime Movie of the Week kinda shit. It involved lawyers in two states, me making a fifteen-hundred mile road trip alone with a hundred-and-sixty-five dollars to my name, standing in front a judge crying and begging for help, and then finally, resolution and a very long drive home.

And when I got home, and things were calmer, I got a phone call from the asshole responsible for all that shit. And before he could even talk, I said, “I forgive you.”

That’s it. That’s all I said.

He was stunned, to stay the least. So I expounded. “I forgive you. It’s over. And I’m not going to waste one more second on what just happened. I’m going to forgive you and move on. Goodbye.”

And that was the end of it.

Because there is nothing else to do when something that horrible happens.

There is nothing else to do but forgive and move on.

The only other options and hate and anger.

And everyone who has ever been angry knows, deep down, that you’re an uglier person when you’re angry. And hate is the fuel for anger.

Yes, this terrible thing happened to me. But I was not going to waste another second of my life on hate and anger.

And I will say, right now, that wasn’t the end. It would take a few more years to really get away. And I did actually get revenge for all of it. No one was assassinated. lol It was a very legal revenge plan. So I’m not saying I’m like super evolved or anything. I’m human.

But that forgiveness was real. Everything that came after I didn’t control. That was all him.

The only thing I could control was how I reacted to him.

And as long as my reactions weren’t based on hate and anger, I would be fine.

And I was.

I win.

So this EOBS is about forgiveness.

It’s so fucking powerful.

Once you forgive—truly let it go and forgive—you’re free.

And that’s what Cadee decided to do in this book. She hasn’t articulated it yet because she’s still in denial. But she knew instinctively that letting things go was the only way forward.

I don’t forgive Cooper yet.

Lars certainly doesn’t.

Ax—maybe. Because he’s well-versed in hate and anger and he knows it’s a trap.

But we don’t matter. If Cooper was a real person and not just some character in a book, the only thing that would matter is that he is able to forgive himself.

And that’s a LOT harder than forgiving someone else.

We don’t forgive ourselves very often. Our mistakes stick with us for years. Decades. Sometimes a whole lifetime. The stick with us and manifest as guilt. They color us in a new way and unless we’re very aware that we made a mistake that led to this moment, we don’t often get off that path of self-destruction.

It is so much harder to forgive yourself. (Unless you’re a sociopath, that is.)

So if you’re thinking Cooper didn’t earn Cadee’s forgiveness—he doesn’t have to.

Her forgiveness isn’t about HIM. It’s about HER.

And if Cooper can forgive himself, that’s not about Cadee. It’s only about him.

And just like me when I forgave the asshole, it didn’t really make anything better in my life. The only thing that got better was my opinion of myself.

Because forgiveness isn’t about the person being forgiven.

It’s about the person doing the forgiving.

It is a magnanimous gesture. And the greater the sin, the more noble the act of forgiveness is.

You just have to let it go.

I respect Cadee Hunter. Obviously, she still has a lot to deal with. This is a duet. Neither Cadee nor Cooper are at the end of their road yet. So we’ll see what happens in book two.

But I hope, if you’re holding in some past anger and hate, that maybe you take some time to forgive whoever hurt you. You don’t even have to tell them. Just as long as you believe it.

Anyway, that’s it for me. This EOBS is done.

Two books. That’s it.

If I ever revisit these characters (I kinda love me some Ax and Valentina) it will not take place on this college campus. But I could see a standalone book about Ax a few years in the future.

Ruling Class releases September 2 (so a short wait) but to make it all easier I will be releasing a PREQUEL to Bully King on August 19th. If you’re craving a little sexy history between Ax, Lars, Cooper, and Cadee you can get your fix with a novella. If you’re not in to that—skip it. Ruling Class will not be a reverse harem. Just getting that out of the way now.

Thank you for reading, thank you for reviewing (please go leave me a review! I really love it when you do that!) and I’ll see you in the next book!

Julie

JA Huss

YOU CAN FIND ME ALL OVER THE PLACE

And I love keeping in touch with fans - so don’t be shy!

Find Julie at her website

www.JAHuss.com

See all her books HERE

CLICK HER FOLLOW BUTTON

to get notices of all new releases and pre-orders.

Chat with Julie

On Facebook