I t is a cold December night in Kyōtō, the ancient capital of Japan. I have cycled through the darkness to Shōren-in, a small temple off the tourist trail, nestled at the foot of the Higashiyama mountains. Tonight, the temple gardens are gently illuminated, the low light spinning a mysterious yarn across the silhouetted pines and chimerical bamboo groves.

I remove my shoes and step inside, onto a floor polished to a high shine by eight hundred years of shuffling footsteps and swishing robes. The wide floorboards, mottled and darkened with age, hail from the Imperial Palace. I take a seat on the wrap-around veranda at the back, toes numb from the cold and breath visible in front of my face.

Incense fills the air. It smells like the colour purple, in a way I cannot explain. Tiny lights scattered across the garden fade in and out, a thousand stars breathing in unison. Just ten minutes away, the entertainment district of Gion is bustling with the energy of excitable tourists, drunken businessmen and attentive geisha. But here, up a narrow, sloping road on the eastern edge of the city, I have found stillness.

Overhead a chenille moon is peeping through the trees, casting its silvery spell across the pond. Fallen leaves skate over the surface, as koi carp skulk through the milky waters below. A week from now the branches of many of these trees will be bare. A month later, perhaps cloaked in snow.

I pick up a fallen momiji leaf, blushing burgundy and curling at the edges. It’s a treasure, crinkled and papery, like the back of my grandmother’s hand. A space in my heart opens up. Right now, I have everything I need. I feel quiet contentment, tinged with melancholy in the knowledge that this fleeting moment will never return.

This is the world of wabi sabi.

Discovering wabi sabi

Wabi sabi is fundamental to the aesthetic sense and gentle nature of Japanese people. It is a world view that guides the way they experience life, although it is rarely discussed. Its influence is everywhere, and yet it is nowhere to be seen. People instinctively know what the concept of wabi sabi represents, but few can articulate that. Wabi sabi is a fascinating enigma, which promises to whisper potent wisdom to those who slow down enough to investigate, and approach with an open heart.

I have been visiting Japan for over two decades and lived here for almost a third of that time. The affinity I have always felt with Japanese people belies my upbringing on the other side of the world. I have immersed myself in the culture, lived with Japanese families who speak no English, worked in the complex worlds of Japanese business and local government, spent way more than ten thousand hours studying and travelled widely throughout the land. And yet, despite all this, a true definition of the soulful concept of wabi sabi has remained elusive. I could sense it, but lacked the words to explain it.

A number of other non-Japanese have delved into the world of wabi sabi before me, and most have focused on the physical characteristics of objects and environments they associate with the idea. However, those explanations have always fallen short for me. I have long had a sense that wabi sabi goes much deeper than we have been led to believe, flowing into many areas of life. It wasn’t until I started to research this book that I realised just how deep that river runs.

Why wabi sabi ?

In recent years, society has gathered pace, our stress levels have gone through the roof and we have become increasingly obsessed with money, job titles, appearances and the endless accumulation of stuff. There is a growing sense of discontent as we push ourselves harder and juggle more. We are overworked, overstretched and overwhelmed.

As someone who has spent the best part of a decade helping people realign their priorities to build a life focused on doing what they love, I have seen how so many of us are making ourselves ill with overcommitment, constant comparison, judgement and negative self-talk. We are sleepwalking through our days, senses dulled, spending much of our time cooped up in boxes, paying more attention to celebrities, advertising and social media than to the exploration of our own lives, in all their rich potential.

For some time now, I have been hearing the growing rumblings of a slow revolution, a yearning for a simpler, more meaningful life. A life infused with beauty, connected to nature, thrumming with the energy of everyday wellbeing and built around what really matters to us. The more people who came to me exhausted, stuck and unhappy, the more I felt the need for a new way to approach challenges, and for accessible tools to help us live more authentic and inspired lives.

This brought to mind the underlying grace, calm and sense of appreciation in Japan that I haven’t experienced anywhere else, hinting at life lessons tucked into the sleeves of the cultural kimono . I suspected it may have something to do with the elusive concept of wabi sabi , so I set out to discover the hidden truth.

Defining the indefinable

As I’ve said, trying to articulate a definition of wabi sabi is a tricky endeavour. It’s a bit like love – I can tell you what I think it is and how it feels to me, but it’s only when you feel it for yourself that you really know. Almost without exception, conversations I have had with Japanese people on this topic have begun with: ‘Wabi sabi ? Hmmm … It’s very difficult to explain.’ And the truth is, most people have never tried to articulate it and don’t see the need to do so. They have grown up with it. It’s how they navigate the world and appreciate beauty. It is built in to who they are.

However, never one to shrink from a challenge, I pressed on. Well, actually, I waited, I watched and I listened. The more space I gave people to explore the meaning of this unspoken thing that was so familiar to them, the more interesting it became. There were metaphors and hand gestures and tilting of heads. There were hands on hearts and long pauses and repeated references to tea and Zen and nature. The conversation nearly always ended with: ‘I want to read your book.’

The fact is, there is no universal definition of wabi sabi in the Japanese language. Any attempt to express it will only ever be from the perspective of the person explaining it.

My own perspective is that of someone in the unusual position of being both a Japanologist and a life coach. In my attempt to distil the principles of wabi sabi into a series of accessible life lessons, I have talked to people from all walks of life, pored over books in old libraries, visited museums, meditated in shadowy temples, held tea bowls in my hands, spent time in nature and wandered through centuries-old Japanese architecture. After hundreds of conversations and extensive research, I have crafted a set of guiding principles that I hope will be valuable lessons for us all. You can find them all within this book.

The wabi sabi secret

In slowly peeling back the layers of mystery, this is what I have come to understand: the true beauty of wabi sabi lies not in things, but in the very nature of life itself.

Wabi sabi is an intuitive response to beauty that reflects the true nature of life.

Wabi sabi is an acceptance and appreciation of the impermanent, imperfect and incomplete nature of everything.

Wabi sabi is a recognition of the gifts of simple, slow and natural living.

Wabi sabi is a state of the heart. It is a deep in-breath and a slow exhale. It is felt in a moment of real appreciation – a perfect moment in an imperfect world. We can nurture it with our willingness to notice details and cultivate delight. And we experience it when we are living the most authentic, most inspired versions of our lives.

It’s about experiencing the world by truly being in it, rather than judging it from the sidelines. It’s about allowing strategy to give way to sensitivity. It’s about taking the time to pay attention.

The principles that underlie wabi sabi can teach us life lessons about letting go of perfection and accepting ourselves just as we are. They give us tools for escaping the chaos and material pressures of modern life, so we can be content with less. And they remind us to look for beauty in the everyday, allowing ourselves to be moved by it and, in doing so, feeling gratitude for life itself.

How to use this book

In order to understand the depth and richness of wabi sabi , we begin with a short history lesson that sets the scene for all that is to come. While this book is not a detailed discourse on Japanese aesthetics, history, culture, philosophy or religion, these are all touched on to the extent that they are important threads in the fabric of Japanese life. For further reading or inspiration for your own journey of discovery, please see the Bibliography, page 220 , and Notes on visiting Japan, page 214 .

The secret of wabi sabi lies in seeing the world not with the logical mind but through the feeling heart.

Once we have a sense of the origins of wabi sabi , we will explore its characteristics, to give us language to think and talk about it. Then we will look at why this ancient wisdom is so very relevant to our lives today. All of this is covered in Chapter 1 , and I encourage you to read it first.

From Chapter 2 onwards, I share stories, inspiration and advice for applying the concept to every area of your life. You might want to read these in order or dip in and out, depending on what calls to you most right now. There is, of course, no perfect way to read this book. It is for you to take from it what you need.

Travel with me

This book is an invitation to travel with me as a curious explorer in a foreign land. Know that you are safe with me by your side. The map I have sketched out will guide us off the beaten track, down crooked paths, through old wooden gates, into ancient forests, along winding rivers and deep into the mountains.

This book is an invitation to relax into the beauty of your life in any given moment, and to strip away all that is unnecessary, to discover what lies within.

Now and then, we will stop at a roadside tea house to rest awhile and ponder, hitch lifts from strangers and be blessed with unexpected wisdom from new friends. There will be times when we sing as we walk and times when we feel weary. We might pause to soak our aching bodies in a hot spring or be hushed by falling snow. Some days we will rise with the sun, others we will amble beneath the stars.

Along the way, you’ll encounter the familiar and the unknown, the old and the new. Some things will challenge the very foundations of what you have been led to believe. I’ll be here with you every step of the way.

Let’s commit to travelling slowly, exploring far and going deep, as I share this ancient Japanese wisdom with you.

A search for wabi sabi is a journey to the heart of life itself. Open your eyes and embrace the mystery of all that is to come.

Beth Kempton
Kyōto, 2018