Holly took a deep breath, fumbling in her purse for her keys. She wasn’t about to think of Joe Barone and Mr. Right in the same breath. Illusion, she reminded herself. That was all he had to offer her. Her fancy dress and the nice dinner they’d just shared made her feel like Cinderella. Midnight was only a few strokes away and then the magic would end.
Her first instinct was to hedge and duck, but she’d never really been able to follow through on it. She liked dealing honestly with those around her. “You think you could be my Mr. Right?”
“I don’t want to be ruled out of the running,” he said. His voice was deep and husky, brushing over her senses and making her remember how long it had been since she’d shared whispers with a man.
And she brought a lot of baggage with her. One-night stands and red-hot affairs were one thing; Mr. Right was forever, and forever was scary. “I’m not sure you’d really want to be.”
“Why not?”
“Because there’s a part of you that you keep locked inside.”
“The surly part?” he asked almost teasingly.
“I wish I could joke about this but you asked me about my dreams.”
His face was stark in the shadowed light provided by the street lamp. She felt as if she’d crossed a line that neither of them even wanted to admit existed but she knew it did. Life had taught her that nothing lasted, that nothing was ever really secure and that the unexpected was closer than it seemed.
“Your dreams aren’t a joke,” he said.
“I know. They’re all I have.”
He put his hand on her thigh, and a flash of sexual desire flooded her body. She was ultrasensitized to his touch, and each caress—even the most innocent one—sent shock waves through her system. “I want to make your dreams come true.”
She knew he could. His eyes promised dark dreams of carnal delight—but she wanted more.
“Let’s talk about this inside,” she said.
She got out of the car before he could open her door. His footsteps were heavy as he followed her up the walk to her small house. She unlocked the door and led him inside.
The kitchen was the biggest room in the house, and her favorite. She had a professional-grade oven and a large island in the middle. “Have a seat and I’ll get the gelato.”
“Thanks.”
He slid out of his jacket and loosened his tie.
“I made some butter cookies last night. I’ll get those out too,” she said. From the first they’d been able to banter, but now they were reduced to inane small talk that made her wish she’d never brought up the subject of Mr. Right.
“Why don’t you go wait in the living room,” she said. She needed a few minutes to compose herself.
His sharp gaze told her he wasn’t fooled. “Sure.”
She prepared dishes of gelato and a plate of cookies as well as snifters of cognac. She picked up the tray and entered the living room, setting it on the coffee table. Joe wasn’t seated as she’d hoped but studying the pictures on the wall.
Holly wasn’t sure she liked him seeing her family. This man whom she wanted to have a passionate affair with shouldn’t know the personal details of her life. Not if he only intended for them to be together for the short term.
“Here’s dessert,” she said.
“Your family looks close,” he said, walking toward her.
“We are.”
She cleared her throat, not sure what to say next. She smiled at him. Maybe he’d forgotten about the whole Mr. Right thing. She certainly wished she could. She realized that this man was really her ideal man. The one she’d secretly dreamed about since her mother had died and she’d been left with the boys to raise. The one she’d been hoping to meet since she’d started dating and realized that real men weren’t the same as dream men. The one she’d come to know as a man of honor.
Joe handed her a snifter and took a seat next to her. She could feel his warmth, he sat so close to her. She shivered a little and resisted the urge to slide closer to him on the couch. It would be so easy to do. The leather was slippery against her silk dress, and if she shifted her weight, she’d coast right up against him.
He’d unfastened the top button of his shirt. Tufts of hair were visible through the opened collar. She reached out toward him before realizing what she was doing, then dropped her hand and looked up.
Joe stared at her with that mesmerizing dark gaze that made her feel exposed…vulnerable.
“What?” she asked.
“Why did you stop?” he asked.
“I’m not sure where we stand.”
“I am. You told me about your dreams. Now let me tell you mine.”
“Yours?”
He nodded. The lambent desire in his eyes made her pulse run heavier. “I envision the two of us—”
She put her fingers over his lips. She didn’t want to hear what he had to say. She wanted him, but she wanted—no, needed—to pretend that he was her dream man for this one night. She knew he wasn’t. She knew this could never last. But for this one night she wanted to believe it.
She searched to find her voice. “I don’t want to be too forward.”
“Honey, I don’t think you could be.”
She wasn’t sure she wanted to be given free license to his body. But she did want to touch him. She reached for him again, this time brushing her fingertips along the edge of his jaw and down his throat. His Adam’s apple bobbed as she moved her hand over it.
His gaze held hers and she felt she was drowning in Joe. His heat, his soul, his body all called to her, making her forget everything about herself except that she had this one night as a magical princess. This one night that her fairy godmother had given her and she didn’t want to waste it.
He took her snifter from her and placed it on the table. Taking her face in his hands, he caressed it, touching her cheeks, tracing the line of her nose and then finally rubbing gently against her lower lip. Her mouth tingled. She licked her lips and tasted the edge of his thumb.
Bending, he tilted her head back and brushed his lips against hers. They’d kissed before, so this should be no big deal, but Holly felt as if this time something deeper was happening.
Magic, she realized.
His mouth moved on hers with a quiet strength. There was passion, of course, but also something more like affection. And that caring made the difference to her. A well opened deep inside. She framed his face with her hands and took control of the kiss.
Joe pulled away slowly, his lips and tongue leaving her mouth.
“Are you sure about this, Holly?”
It had been a long time since Joe had felt this rush of physical desire. The gentlemanly behavior he’d carefully cultivated over the years was stripped away, leaving in its place a primal man.
This was just one more awakening that she’d brought about in him. He’d been frozen, locked away from life for so long.
He watched her, staring at him. Her eyes were luminous and wide, dominating her entire face. Her freckled skin was flushed. He trailed an unsteady hand down her bare arm, tracing one of the many patterns on her skin.
As his blood pounded an ancient rhythm in his head, his noble ideas of slow, romantic seduction slipped away. He didn’t miss them, and watching Holly through narrowed eyes, he didn’t think she would either.
Her breath rushed in and out, forcing her breasts to strain against the silk bodice of her dress. Her hardened nipples were prominent through the thin fabric. She still hadn’t spoken but he couldn’t resist touching her.
He rubbed his thumb over one distended nipple. When she moved more fully into his touch, he cupped her breast. Between his thumb and forefinger he lightly rubbed her nipple. Holly moaned deep in her throat.
The sound made his flimsy control disappear. It had been so long since he’d had the solace of a woman’s body, so long since he’d given in to the physical side of his nature that he didn’t know if he could restrain himself. Didn’t know if he could bring her along with him.
“It’s been a long time for me,” he said at last.
Her crystalline-blue gaze met his. “Me too.”
“I mean it, honey. I locked this part of myself away.”
She sat up. “Are you telling me you haven’t had sex since your wife died?”
He rubbed his forehead and looked away. “Yes.”
She didn’t say anything and he was afraid he may have finally found the way to slow the pace. Damn, he didn’t want to leave now. But she cupped his face in her hands and brought his mouth to hers. The kiss she gave him was full of passion and caring. More caring than a man who felt as shaky as Joe did deserved.
“I promise it won’t be painful,” she said.
He laughed. “It could be quick.”
“That’s okay with me.”
“I want to take my time with you.”
“There’s always next time,” she whispered.
Next time. The words were the balm he needed to indulge himself in Holly’s sweet body. To take what they both needed. This wasn’t a romantic fairy tale that demanded perfection. They were both human and understood that need sometimes was just that. Need. And control wasn’t something that could be counted on.
Her hands on his head urged him closer to her bosom. He lowered his mouth to her turgid nipple and blew lightly on it. It tightened even further and Joe could wait no longer to take her in his mouth. The barrier of her dress served to heighten the sensation and at the same time to frustrate him. He sucked harder, pulling her deep into his mouth. He used his hand to cup her other breast, rubbing his forefinger over her nipple.
Her hands left his head and massaged his back. “Joe, I want to feel you.”
“How do you get out of this damn dress?” He too wanted flesh upon flesh. He needed it. He needed to feel this moment in blinding Technicolor and not the dull gray his world had become.
Holly shimmied out of her dress, leaving her clad in only those damned gorgeous freckles of hers and a pair of panties so scanty that he couldn’t think of anything but getting back to her body, removing that last barrier and joining them so deeply, so tightly that neither of them would ever be free.
He sat up, pulled off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt in quick, hurried movements, then tossed it away. He kicked off his shoes and removed the condom he’d put in his wallet earlier. Holly just lay there watching him.
He unfastened his pants and pushed them and his briefs off his legs. Standing naked in front of her, he felt everything in him swell. His groin was so hard, his muscles were flooded with strength and he felt like a warrior who’d been away too long and finally had come home.
Only home wasn’t a place. It was one fragile woman who watched him with radiant eyes and opened arms and legs. He knelt next to her and caressed her skin. Her flesh tightened under his touch, shivers of sensation visible in the way she quaked.
He felt powerful and masculine. The need to savor her battled with the need to bury himself in her humid warmth. He spread his fingers and ran his hand down the length of her midriff and stomach. Her muscles tightened as he slid past her tiny waist and neared the waistband of her panties.
He slipped one finger under the elastic, searching for the center of her desire. He found it and teased it with a soft touch.
She moaned again. “I thought you were in a hurry.”
He had been. Until he realized that exploring Holly was more important than giving in to the maddening need to climax inside her. Right now he needed to know all her secrets.
“I changed my mind.”
He pushed her panties down her legs and she kicked them aside. She grabbed the condom from his fingers, tore it open and sheathed his aching flesh. “I can’t wait, Joe.”
He nodded. She tugged him up and over her. Propping himself on one elbow, he used his other hand to test her readiness. Though he knew she was eager, he wanted to make sure her body was ready for him. She was warm and wet when he slid his finger into her. She lifted her hips, beckoning him closer. He adjusted himself, braced himself on his forearms and slid inside her.
He stopped when he was hilt deep inside her and looked down at her. She watched him, eyes wide open. Her hands clasped his buttocks and urged him to move, but he waited, teasing the both of them for a long minute.
When her hips shifted beneath him, he started to thrust. Watching her carefully, he brought her along with him. Everything in his body tightened, and he felt his climax building at the base of his spine. He reached between their bodies and touched her once and then twice. She dug her nails into his back and then let out a moan of completion, her body tightening around his.
He shifted, held her hips and thrust quickly into her three times before he climaxed as well. His body was drained of everything. Slowly reality came back to him and he realized he’d just lowered a barrier he’d never meant to lower.
Holly hadn’t felt this free since the first time she’d skydived. She held Joe tightly to her, aware that she never wanted to let go. She pressed her face into his shoulder so he couldn’t see how deeply she’d been affected by his lovemaking.
She’d experienced good sex before but this went beyond good. She felt completely exposed to Joe, and that caused a chill of apprehension in the pit of her stomach. She’d been too used to taking care of herself and now she’d let someone inside the wall of caring that she generally reserved for her family.
But maybe luck was on her side and Joe would snuggle with her. This was her magical night, after all, she reminded herself. Her night of illusion with a genuine Prince Charming.
But instinct told her that the illusion was over and that reality was waiting in the wings.
Joe shifted on her, pulling his body from hers. A cold chill shook her even before he levered himself up off her. She crossed her arms over her chest and pressed her legs together. Joe watched her through half-lidded eyes, as if each move she made was being recorded in his mind.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get rid of the condom,” he said without meeting her gaze.
He padded silently out of the room. He was a solid, muscular man and she was amazed that she hadn’t taken more time to explore him. She’d been overwhelmed by the lust in each of his touches. He’d carried her along in a wake of desire and passion until she’d forgotten everything.
But it seemed the time to remember was upon them. She sat up and tugged the chenille throw off the back of the couch, wrapping it around her body. What should she do? For the first time she was uncomfortable in her own home.
He reentered the room and started to dress. She couldn’t believe it. He was going to abandon her. She glanced at the melting gelato in the ice-cream cups and knew she wasn’t going to just let him leave.
“Joe?”
He fastened his trousers and looked at her. She hesitated, unsure what to say. How did you ask a man to stay with you when it was obvious he wanted to leave?
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to get out of here,” he said.
His face was shuttered, showing her no emotions at all, and she felt the way she had the day they met, when she’d heard him say he didn’t want to spend the day with her.
She wished she had something other than her dress to put on, feeling distinctly defenseless wrapped in the blanket. She didn’t want to leave the living room because she knew he’d leave without saying goodbye. And she needed to talk to him.
“Why?” she asked.
“I just do. Listen, I’ll call you,” he said, picking up his shirt and shrugging into it.
“Will you sit down with me for a minute?” she asked.
He froze. In his eyes she saw that he didn’t want to do anything but get away. Find someplace private and restore himself.
She held her hand out to him and slowly he took it. She drew him down to her side. He sat as stiffly as she had earlier this evening. The irony of the moment wasn’t lost on her.
“Don’t think about it,” she said, trying to figure out what he needed from her.
He reached out toward her cheek but dropped his hand before he touched her. “I wish it were that easy.”
“You said yourself we should just enjoy this thing between us and take it one moment at a time.”
“That doesn’t mean I was right.” He stood and walked to the front door.
His leaving hurt worse than anything she’d experienced at the hands of the opposite sex. Even being stood up the night of her senior prom paled in comparison.
“What bothers you the most, Joe?” she asked. “That you had sex with me or that you enjoyed it?”
He pivoted to face her. Maybe she’d gone too far but she wasn’t sure how to get through the protective layer he’d donned the minute he’d pulled out of her body. She wasn’t used to letting men use her.
When he said nothing, she said, “I don’t think Mary expected you to quit living.”
“I haven’t.”
“Yes, you have. Everyone is too afraid of your scowl to tell you, but they all know it.”
He stalked back to her side. He was angry but she sensed not with her.
“What do you want from me?” he asked, his voice crude.
“Perception is too much to ask, huh?” She didn’t want to say that it had been a long time for her too. That no man had ever blown into her life the way Joe had and then shaken her the way his presence had. She didn’t want to watch him walk away because she had the feeling she’d never see him again.
“I’m trying not to hurt you,” he said.
“That’s funny because leaving is what hurts me the most.”
“I never wanted that.”
There was something so sad in his eyes that her heart melted. She reached out for him, took his hand in hers and tugged him down the hall to her bedroom. He paused for a minute, resisting her, then sighed and gave in. Only the moon lit the room, and the shadows were comforting because she didn’t have to face the fact that she’d done the one thing she’d sworn she’d never do again. She’d cheapened herself for a man who didn’t want her as much as she wanted him.