Two days later Joe still hadn’t called.
Why would he? Holly asked herself. She’d called him a coward and driven him away. No man wanted to face his own weakness, much less be with a woman who pointed it out. Hadn’t she learned anything from her brothers?
Joe wasn’t the only one who was hiding. She’d worked late at the bakery the first day, and then spent the night at her dad’s house because the boys couldn’t be there. Deep inside she knew she’d been hiding from Joe the first day.
Still, he hadn’t tried to get in touch.
He had to be running scared. She’d felt the same way after she’d left him. The entire morning at the bakery she’d taken her frustration out on the rolls and bread. Instead of using the new kneading machine, she’d kneaded by hand, hoping to clear her mind by putting her hands to work.
But her mind still wasn’t clear. Joe was an enigma and she wasn’t going to be satisfied until she understood what made him tick. He made her feel like more than some fairy-tale princess. He made her believe that dreams were still viable and sometimes really did come true. She wasn’t going to give him up that easily.
Holly had called his office twice. Once, early in the morning, he’d been in a meeting. The second time he’d been in the office but unable to take her call. Since she didn’t know where he lived, she made the decision to go and wait in the lobby for Joe.
She got there just after five and watched the building empty of workers. Joe’s car was still parked in his reserved spot. She left her car and walked to the doors.
She wasn’t sure she’d made the right choice in coming. She told herself to stay home. To respect his silence and let go. But Joe had touched a place deep inside her where she’d never been touched before, and letting go wasn’t an option.
Baronessa’s executive headquarters were near the Prudential Center on Huntington Avenue. She had no reason to be in this part of town. She couldn’t pretend she was in the neighborhood and decided to drop by. Besides, she didn’t want to be dishonest.
Entering the building, she wasn’t sure what to do. Hang out in the lobby until he left? What if one of the security guards asked her what she was doing here?
That would be too embarrassing and way too weird for her. She turned to leave but stopped when she saw all the pictures on the wall. There were plaques, as well, for all the awards Baronessa had won over the years for their gelato.
It seemed odd that after so many years in the business they’d have problems with one of their flavors as they had earlier this year. But a part of her was very grateful they had, otherwise she wouldn’t have won their new-flavor contest and met Joe.
Small brass plates under each picture detailed the people in them. Joe’s history was here. On this wall he passed every day was his life. She studied it, looking for clues as to why he was running from her.
“Holly?”
She turned. Joe looked every inch the business executive in his Hugo Boss suit and sedate tie. Signs of fatigue were visible around his eyes. He watched her wearily and she wondered again if she’d made the right decision.
“Hi, Joe.”
“What are you doing here?” he asked. He took a step closer to her as the elevator opened and a group of people moved by them.
Taking a deep breath, she said, “I got tired of waiting for your call.”
The elevator emptied again and more people streamed past them. Holly felt their curious gazes on her as they walked by. Okay, this really was a bad idea.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.”
She started toward the lobby doors, but Joe’s hand on her shoulder stopped her. She could feel the heat from his touch right through her thin rayon sundress. It radiated downward from her shoulder, spreading gooseflesh along her arm and tightening her nipples.
This was why she’d come. She missed his touch. She missed his eyes, so dark and guarded but burning with desire.
“Let’s go someplace private where we can talk,” Joe said.
“Do you have time?” Holly asked.
He cupped her elbow and led her toward the elevators. “Yes.”
“I tried to call earlier.”
“It’s been a crazy couple of days,” he said.
They entered the elevator and Joe hit the button for five.
“Is that why you didn’t call?”
He glanced at her. His hand was now on her elbow, his fingers rubbing slowly back and forth, making thinking nearly impossible.
“No.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have come today,” she said, tugging free of his grasp.
“I’m glad you did.”
“Why?”
“Because I just realized how much I’ve missed you.”
“Really?”
He nodded.
“Then why didn’t you call me?” she asked angrily.
He hit the emergency-stop button. “I know you’re upset with me and you have every right to be. But dammit, woman—”
“Don’t swear at me.”
He pulled her into his arms and bent his head, whispering words she couldn’t understand. But her soul understood the message in his embrace. He held her so closely and so tightly that she thought he didn’t ever want to let go. She held him just as securely, realizing that maybe he wanted her as much as she wanted him. Maybe he needed her in his life as much as she needed him. Despite the comfort of his arms, that scared the hell out of her.
Joe held Holly tighter to him, realizing as he did so that the frozen barrier he’d used to protect his heart was melting. After being cold and alone for so long, he’d finally found the woman who could waken him. His Persephone bringing spring.
His feelings roared through him, laying waste to the excuses he’d used to keep his distance from her. The reasons he’d been using to justify taking this woman and making her his and then not calling. Laying waste to the lies he’d used to protect himself. In one minute he realized that he hadn’t protected himself at all.
He bent and took her mouth in a kiss that said all the things he was afraid to say out loud. She responded reluctantly, it seemed to him. He leaned against the wall of the elevator and held her tighter, then lifted her off her feet and thrust his tongue deep in her mouth.
She moaned, tilted her head to the side and cupped his face with her hands. Those small, slender hands that had wrought magic on his frozen soul.
Arousal rushed through him—strong, powerful and unwilling to be denied. He shifted his legs, lifted her higher into the cradle of his thighs. Her legs parted and he was nestled against the center of her. Damn, she went to his head faster than ninety-proof whiskey. He set her aside before he did something really foolish like taking her in the elevator.
Ah, hell, he needed to get away from the office. To bring her to a place where they could work out the details of this relationship they were in. Because he’d realized as he’d seen her standing alone staring at pictures of his family that he wanted her by his side for the rest of his days.
He just didn’t know how to keep her.
His hands were shaking and he felt like a weak man. What he felt for Holly was wildly different than anything he’d experienced before.
“What does this mean, Joe?” she asked.
Her lips were still red from his kiss, her lower lip a little swollen and her skin flushed with the first blush of sexual excitement. Concentrating on her words was hard, but he forced himself to do so, knowing that they needed to talk.
“It means so many things,” he said, though he didn’t feel confident to list them. He was more confident of Holly’s reactions.
“That kiss felt like the beginning of something very hot and very carnal.”
He gave her a wicked grin. “You do that to me. Will you come home with me, Holly?”
“For sex?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
He tried to see this situation from her viewpoint but he couldn’t. He was a man and he wanted her. But she was supposed to be the perceptive one. Women were supposed to understand feelings men had trouble vocalizing. Why wasn’t she doing that? Why didn’t she understand that it was a heck of a lot more than just sex when they were together?
“Stop saying ‘sex’ as if the physical act is all that’s between us.”
“Well, let’s review the facts. Fact one—you didn’t call me for two days. Fact two—as soon as we’re together again you kiss me like you want a quickie in the elevator.”
He clenched his hands. “I want a hell of a lot more than that. And I think you know it.”
“I’ve given up second-guessing you, Joe. I’d have wagered all the money I won in the Baronessa contest that you were going to call me. I don’t understand anything about you.”
“Understand this. If I wanted sex I could have it with any number of women. But I’ve never wanted a cold act between two strangers. The other night when we made love, you touched my soul, woman.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her with all the feelings in his soul and realized that if he had to let her go he’d be a shattered man.
She stared at him, her eyes wide and her mouth open the slightest bit. He knew she had to be mad because he hadn’t called. But explanations would take time. And he didn’t want to do that at work where his family could interrupt them at any moment.
“Please, come home with me,” he said.
“Why?”
“I have things to say to you that I can only say there.”
She watched him, eyes questioning but burning with a hope that he felt in his soul. He wasn’t sure how but he knew he’d fallen in love with her. The moment they’d met he’d known there was something special about her. Something that no other woman held. But it was two short nights ago, when she’d taken his hand and led him to her bedroom, that he’d realized she’d found the soft underbelly he’d always hidden.
Realized that this woman had the power to heal a hurt he’d never known he’d been carrying with him. And that realization was the kind that crippled a man.
He didn’t want to have to acknowledge that she’d become a part of him that he couldn’t live without. Wasn’t sure he was ready to let another woman past his defenses. Because if Mary’s death had taught him one thing, it was that fate was fickle.
He realized he was holding his breath as he awaited Holly’s answer. He looked at her beseechingly.
“Okay.” It was all she said, but it was the word he was longing to hear.
He released the emergency-stop button and then pushed the lobby button. He held Holly’s hand tightly in his, barely able to wait until the ride was over to get to his house.
“Do you want to leave your car here?” he asked.
“No, I’ll follow you.”
“I promise you won’t regret it.”
“Don’t make promises you might not keep.”
“I’m not.”
He walked away and felt her gaze on him all the way to his car. His hands shook, and he realized that more than lust and love were riding him. There was also the very real fear that Holly might love him back.
Holly followed Joe to his house. His neighborhood was newer than hers and more exclusive, having a security guard at a gated entrance. The guard waved her through. Each house was beautiful, each yard neatly landscaped. From where she sat it looked like a perfect world—and one she could never fit into.
As she followed Joe’s sedan she realized that their lives were worlds apart. She didn’t see a way they could ever really be together.
Each of these houses probably cost five times hers. Aside from the financial aspects, her family needed her. She couldn’t imagine Joe wanting to spend the night in her childhood bedroom, because her father couldn’t be left alone at night.
Joe pulled into a three-car garage and Holly parked in the driveway. Joe walked toward her and opened her door. But she just sat there, staring up at him.
Whatever had happened in the elevator had freed him. It had almost paralyzed her when she realized she would have had sex with him again even though he’d avoided her for two days. Even though only an hour earlier she wasn’t sure she’d ever hear from him again. It scared her to think he meant that much to her. And that her own self-esteem meant so little.
But Joe went to her head and her heart. From her past she’d learned that men like Roger would take from her whatever she was willing to give. But Joe was the first guy who cherished her. He’d sent her flowers and taken her to a romantic restaurant. He’d played basketball with her and let her see his vulnerable side.
“Holly?” His voice reached through her thoughts.
“I’m not sure why I’m here,” she said.
“Because we need each other,” he said.
“We do?”
He nodded. She climbed out of her car and before she could move, he picked her up and carried her toward his house.
“Why are you carrying me?” she asked. No man had ever carried her before. She clung to his shoulders and tried not to think about the fact that he was fulfilling her secret dreams.
“Because you need romance.”
How did he know? It made her vulnerable to realize that he saw things she thought she’d hidden. That he didn’t look at her and see a strong person who could support and shelter her family. That he might be the one man who saw straight to her soul. Because Joe wasn’t the kind of man she could protect herself from. She’d become aware of that when she’d driven to his office.
“Do you need romance too?” she asked. She wanted to be his equal not the needy one.
“Oh, yeah.”
She forgot about her worries as he carried her over the threshold of his house and set her on her feet. Fresh flowers sat in a vase on the table in his foyer. The marble entryway led to a grand staircase. She should be dressed to the nines instead of wearing a three-year-old sundress. “I wish I were wearing something more appropriate.”
“I wish you were nude.”
That surprised a chuckle out of her. “Joe.”
“It’s the truth, but I promised you we’d talk, so perhaps it’s better you are clothed.”
His place was professionally decorated, immaculately clean and, she saw as he flicked on the lights, very much like the man himself. At first glance the modern furniture with sleek lines appeared smooth and sophisticated. But the dark and disturbing realism in art showed the real man.
“Should I remove my shoes?”
“Only if you want to.”
She slid out of them because, unless she was mistaken, he had Berber carpet and she loved the way it felt under her feet.
He led her into the living room. Through a wall of glass she saw a deck that overlooked a large swimming pool complete with a waterfall at one end.
“Please sit down,” he said.
She seated herself on the love seat and watched Joe pace the room. Whatever he had to say he was nervous about it.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you,” he began.
“Why didn’t you?”
“When Mary died my life changed.”
“What does that have to do with not calling me?”
“I’m not good with words. But I’ll try to explain,” he said.
“That’s all I ask.”
“I vowed to never again feel defenseless.”
“In what way?”
“Emotionally. I’m not comfortable talking about my feelings, Holly. So I’m not going to say this again.”
She went to him, put her arms around his broad shoulders. There was a part of Joe that he didn’t want her to see but he showed her anyway. Despite her earlier accusation, she knew this man wasn’t a coward.
“I’m afraid of love,” he whispered against her hair.
She held him tighter. “Why?”
“Because of the heartache it can bring.”
“Love doesn’t always end that way.”
“In my experience it does.”
“I’ve never experienced love,” Holly said at last.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. I think, like you, I’ve been afraid of it.”
“When I saw you waiting for me this afternoon…you seemed so brave and unafraid.”
“Don’t let appearances fool you. I was shaking in my boots.”
“That’s just it. You were scared but you’d come to find me. And I knew then I couldn’t let you get away again.”
Holly’s heart froze in her chest. What was he saying? Oh, God. She didn’t want to hear whatever he planned to say next. He opened his mouth but she went up on tiptoe and covered his lips with hers.