Holly, at Gina’s urging, joined the women’s team for the volleyball match. Joe was sexier than any man ought to be in gym shorts and no shirt. His chest muscles rippled as he tossed the ball in the air before the game began and caught it. It was a hot late-July day and most of the women wore bikini tops and shorts, Holly included.
On the sidelines cheering the teams on was Alex Barone’s new wife, Daisy, with her new baby, Angel. Everyone knew the baby’s biological father wasn’t Alex, but he was the only daddy Angel would know. And it was clear from what Holly had heard that Alex adored his daughter and his wife.
The baby was so cute that Holly had been tempted to ask to hold her. But this wasn’t her family so she’d watched from the sidelines, feeling a heaviness in her heart that this clan wasn’t her own.
Though there was a good deal of ribbing, it was clear this year the Barone women weren’t going home losers. Joe huddled close with the men’s team, and as Holly watched him, she understood the missing piece of the puzzle he was to her.
Seeing him with his family, watching him move and interact with them, made one thing crystal clear: Joe wasn’t meant to be a single guy. He was meant to be a family man. He played with Nicholas’s toddler daughter, Molly, as if she was his own.
Did Joe want kids? Despite the closeness they shared, she knew little of his dreams for the future. Holly was amazed. For the first time she actually wanted to think about a future with a man.
Though there were eight kids and four cousins, the Barones were a tight-knit clan. She suddenly wanted to learn more about them all.
“You all are descended from two Barone brothers?” Holly asked Gina right before the game started.
“My uncle Paul is a twin. When they were two days old, Uncle Luke was abducted and never found. The family was shaken by that,” Gina said.
“How horrible for your family.”
“It was. But that was a long time ago.” After a few minutes, Gina remarked, “Joe seems happy today.”
Holly wasn’t sure she wanted to have this conversation. She wasn’t sure she herself knew what was going on with Joe. “Yes, he does.”
Gina said nothing for a few minutes, watching her family and friends mill around the backyard. “It’s about time.”
Holly didn’t want her to have the wrong impression. “Gina, we— Things aren’t— Look, your brother and I are just friends.”
Gina put her hand on Holly’s arm. “I think friends is a good place to start.”
Holly felt tears sting the back of her eyes. She’d always wanted sisters just to even the score in her family, but now she realized what she’d missed. Holly stood at the sidelines, watching the Barones interact, feeling a keen sense of longing that she’d never felt before.
Though her family was close, that closeness was tinged by a sense of duty and obligation. She’d promised her mother that she’d take care of the boys and keep the family together. She’d never really felt comfortable relaxing around her family the way she did here today with the Barones.
“Ready to get your butt kicked?” Joe asked, coming up and putting his arms around her. Most of the Barones were taking a last-minute break before the game started. Carlo and Moira, Joe’s parents, had chairs set up on either side of the court, and those who weren’t playing were on the sidelines already.
“Hardly. According to Gina, the men are better at fireworks than volleyball.”
“Really?” he asked, running his finger down the side of her face. She shivered as awareness lit a fire that ended in the pit of her belly.
“Yup,” she said, giving in to the urge to caress his stomach. His muscles rippled in response and his eyes narrowed. She recognized the gleam in them as a purely sexual one.
“I beg to differ. Fireworks are all flash.”
Joe was different today. Lighter somehow. No longer aloof and brooding but almost happy. It scared her to think she might be responsible for the change because that meant she’d have to be responsible for keeping him happy and she didn’t know if she could do it. She had enough to worry about with Dad’s health and her brothers’ lives.
“Are you trying to say there’s more than flash to you?” she asked, still teasing him. He’d pulled her more fully against him so that only an inch of space separated their bodies. She could scarcely breathe as she stood there wishing they were in a private place so she could caress him as she longed to. Why had she decided to turn him down for dinner last night?
The reasons, which had seemed so relevant yesterday, paled as she stood trembling in his arms. Joe tilted her head back with his hand, and as she gazed up at him she felt her heart lurch. She realized in that moment that she loved him. Loved his tough-as-nails side, loved his soft side where his family was concerned and most especially loved the way he made her feel—as if she was the most beautiful woman on earth.
“I think you know there is,” he said softly.
Bracing her hands on his shoulders, she stood on tiptoe so their lips were only a breath apart. “Maybe.”
He brushed his lips against hers and then pulled back. “Maybe?”
She just raised one eyebrow at him.
“What do you think of this?”
He bent his head and kissed her in a way that left no doubt there was something very solid about Joe Barone. And that he wasn’t just a quick burst of bright lights.
Catcalls and whistles broke through the spell Joe was effortlessly weaving around her. He pulled back and gave her a tight hug before walking toward the men’s team. Holly went to join the women, feeling more dazed and confused than she ever had before. Something magical had taken shape between them. But could magic last the rigors of her everyday life?
As the sun began to set, Joe took the ring he’d purchased for Holly from his gym bag and went searching for her. His sister Maria had gotten sick during the volleyball game and was now sitting on a lounge chair with a cup of Sprite. She seemed a little pale to Joe, but his sister Rita, who was a nurse, ruled the episode as heat exhaustion.
Even without Maria’s help the women had beaten the men in the first match. The second match, the men had come back. The tie breaking game had been when Maria had gotten sick, but even without her, the women had beaten the men, making them the new Barone family volleyball champions. The women had done their victory dance and earned bragging rights for the coming year.
But there was only one woman he was interested in now. Where was Holly? Joe started toward his brother Nick to ask him if he’d seen her, but then realized Nick and his cousin Derrick were having a heated discussion. He turned instead to the cluster of women by the food table.
“Have you seen Holly?” he asked his mom.
“No, dear, I haven’t. But I meant to tell you, I really like her,” she said.
“Me too,” said Emily, his cousin. She’d been going through a rough spot, having amnesia and witnessing the fire that had been started at the Baronessa factory. But being outside today with her fiancé, Shane, she seemed happy. Shane had been a great addition to the Barone men’s team.
“She’s not like Mary,” his mom added.
His mother was right. Mary had always been fragile, never able to participate in any of the family activities. She was always on the sidelines, watching, while Holly was in the middle of the action, a part of the group.
“Dad’s looking for you, Joe. You’re needed at the fireworks bunker,” said Gina.
“If you see Holly, tell her I need to talk to her.”
“I will,” his mom said.
Joe joined his father, uncle Paul, his brothers and male cousins at the fireworks bunker. They worked quickly to set the fuses and ready the explosives for the annual display. The new men in the family were there too, fitting easily into the group of joking men.
Joe worked at his father’s side, realizing that he wanted a son to pass on this tradition to. He wanted to share his family’s customs with his kids and make sure they took pride in them and passed them on to their kids.
It was a humbling moment. He hadn’t thought about the future in so long that he’d been locked in the present. Asking Holly to marry him today wasn’t just something he was doing for himself and Holly. It was something he was doing for his family.
When everything was set, he headed back toward the house and found Holly standing with the women. He took her hand and led her away from everyone. He found a bench nestled in the corner of his mother’s garden. Carefully, he seated Holly on the bench and sat down next to her.
“Did you have fun today?” he asked. He wanted to make sure his family hadn’t overwhelmed her.
“I did. Your family is wonderful,” she said.
“They are. I have something important to say to you, Holly.”
She tilted her head to look at him. Her eyes were dreamy. “What?”
Wrapping his arms around her, he took a deep breath. Now that she was in his arms, all the vulnerabilities he had came rushing back. Love was a risk he’d fought taking for a long time.
But this was Holly. The woman who’d freed him from the deep, frozen place his life had become. The woman who’d lit a fire in his blood and sent those flames through his soul. The woman who’d made him realize he wanted to dream again.
“I love you,” he whispered against the top of her head.
He felt her shudder. She pulled back and looked up at him, her eyes wide with fear and something else. A knot formed in the pit of his stomach.
She was probably worried that he wasn’t ready to make a commitment to her. He eased off the bench and went down on one knee, fumbling in his pocket for the ring.
She started to speak, but he covered her lips with his hand. “Part of me died with Mary, Holly. And I thought I’d never find a reason to love again. But you showed me what I’d been missing. You made me realize how lonely life was.”
She reached out and cupped his jaw. “You weren’t lonely. You had your family.”
“You’re right, I did. But I needed more.”
“What did you need?” she asked.
“I needed you. Holly, will you marry me?”
Holly gulped and fought back tears. He loved her. No one had said those words to her since her mother died. And never had she needed to hear them as much as she did now.
She couldn’t control the thrill that speared through her or the sudden tightness in her throat. These twin responses made it impossible for her to speak for a few minutes.
This was the one thing she wanted and dreaded. She couldn’t marry Joe. Couldn’t possibly become Mrs. Joe Barone because he didn’t know the real Holly. He’d never even met her family. And her family was her first duty. A long time ago she’d made promises at her mother’s deathbed that she’d make sure the Fitzgeralds were always together. They needed her 24/7, and if she lived up to that commitment to them, she couldn’t take another vow with Joe.
She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt the moisture on her face. She pulled her hands from his and wiped her cheeks. She didn’t face the other truth that lay beneath her obligation to her family. Joe made her feel emotions that were uncomfortable. They were the extremes of her soul. He made her want to be daring in ways she’d never anticipated.
“Joe, I…”
Suddenly she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t sit here and tell him no in front of his family. But marrying him would be a mistake, for both of them, she wasn’t going to make.
“I’m sorry,” she said. She stood and ran from him as if demons were chasing her.
She reached the street and realized she had no way of getting home. She’d ridden to the picnic with Joe. She took her cell phone from her pocket and called her eldest brother, Clint. He promised to come and get her. But she had to hang out for fifteen minutes.
Joe didn’t follow her and she didn’t blame him. What kind of woman had soul-sex with a man then turned him down when he asked her to marry him? She didn’t like the answers she found deep inside. She sat on the stoop waiting for Clint, wondering if she’d ever really be able to share her life with anyone.
More important, she wondered if she’d ever come to terms with her hang-ups. Because the real reason she’d run away from Joe wasn’t her family. The real reason was that she knew life was fragile. She knew how quickly and how unfairly fate could change. One minute you were the cherished daughter of a happily married couple, the next minute you were the only woman in your family and had enormous responsibilities.
“Holly?”
She glanced over her shoulder at Joe, standing in the front doorway of his parents’ house. He was backlit by the wall sconces in the foyer, making it impossible to see his expression. Life had dealt Joe enough heartache, she thought. He shouldn’t have fallen in love with her.
“I’m sorry,” she said again. She didn’t know what else to say. She hadn’t expected love. It seemed this relationship of theirs had started out as a one-night stand but then turned into something she still couldn’t define.
“Is this anything we can work out?” he asked.
She wished. But asking him to wait a few years for her didn’t seem like much of a solution. “I don’t think so.”
“Is it me?” he asked at last.
“Oh, Joe. No, it’s not you.” She laced her fingers together to keep from reaching out for him.
“Holly, I’m trying to be patient and understanding—two things I’m not known for.”
“I appreciate it.” She wished her brother would show up. She didn’t like the direction this conversation was going.
“Then give me some explanations,” he said.
“Listen, my family needs me. I’m the glue that holds them together. I can’t walk away from that.”
He sighed and rubbed his jaw. “Believe it or not, I wasn’t asking you to cut off your relationship with them.”
“I know. Only it’s a full-time job. I have to spend the night at my dad’s house occasionally. I have to finish paying for Brian’s last year of college. I have to—”
“You don’t have to do that stuff.”
“If I don’t, who will?”
“Those brothers of yours aren’t children anymore. They can take care of themselves.”
“I know they aren’t babies.”
“Then why do you insist on treating them like they are?” he asked.
“I don’t.”
“You do and I think I know why.”
“What makes you such an expert on my life?”
He narrowed his gaze on her and she shivered under the intensity there. “I know you intimately, Holly. I think that counts for something.”
“Physical knowledge doesn’t give you any insight.”
“The hell it doesn’t. You don’t share yourself easily and you’re crazy if you think I don’t know it.”
She hugged herself to keep from exploding into a million pieces. But didn’t say anything, only waited to hear what else he thought he knew about her.
“You accused me once of being a coward. I just realized that I wasn’t the only one who was running away.”
“I’m not.”
“You are. You’re afraid to let yourself be happy.”
“What makes you so confident you make me happy?”
“I’m not—at least not anymore.”
Clint pulled to a stop at the curb and honked the horn. “That’s my brother.”
“Go ahead, run, I’m not stopping you. But if you decide you’re tired of playing the martyr, give me a call.”
Joe walked inside without another word. The sound of the door closing echoed in her heart and she knew she’d just thrown away her chance at happily-ever-after.