Brett
IT WAS fuckin’ late, and I was more’n ready to hit the hay. And before noddin’ off to sleep, I’d get me a chance to visit heaven, or, in plainer words, I’d get to hold my baby tight in my arms in our big purple bed. So’s I didn’t have no worries at all, did I?
Usually on weekend nights, Cory’d come to the B&G and hang out while I worked late, but this week he’d got swamped with homework, so’s he’d stayed home to study. Gotta say, I’d sorely missed him. I wondered if I’d find Cory all tucked up snug in our bed, or if he’d be bent over the kitchen table, nose still stuck in them books.
Well, as folks say, wonders never cease, or somethin’ on that line, ’cause the instant my key touched the lock, that there door flung wide open as if by magic. Seemed that the kid’d been hoverin’ by the door, waitin’ for his man to come home from work. And that there was a real nice ego boost, ain’t gonna deny it.
Cory stood in the doorway. Silky-smooth bare chest with them perfect little muscles and just a tiny bit of scattered dark hair leadin’ my wanderin’ eyes downward, narrow waist and slim hips, and legs with a runner’s definition, well-shaped arms in the perfect proportion and—
Oh, man.
I surely hadn’t never seen my baby wearin’ them silky royal-blue boxer shorts before. Snug, shiny, beggin’ to be touched, them things was. Real nice.
What the hell is my boy up to?
“Uh, I’d better go hop in the shower, Cory. Gotta scrub off all o’ the beer stickiness on me, y’know?”
Cory licked his lips kinda slow, and he just stood there gazin’ at me, not sayin’ nothin’.
Lickety-split, and I was in the shower, streams of hot water shootin’ at the back of my head. Had to bend down a bit so’s I could soak my whole mop of hair. Sometimes it seemed like everythin’ in our studio was undersized, like this here shower. (And even Cory.) Everythin’ but me. Uh-huh, once in a while I even felt like I was starrin’ in a real-life Gulliver’s Travels when I was in our apartment. Whatever. The warm spray of water still felt good but not nearly as good as Cory and them silky shorts was gonna feel pressed up against me in our bed.
Blue. Silky. Boxers.
Blue. Silky. Boxers.
So’s maybe I didn’t completely rinse all o’ the suds from outta my hair.
That there ain’t no crime, far as I know.
And it didn’t take more’n a minute to scrub down there where the sun don’t shine. Then I was done. Clean as a whistle.
Blue silky boxers, here I come.
Emergin’ from the bathroom with nothin’ but a towel wrapped around my middle, I glanced over toward the bed to see if Cory was waitin’ on it for me. And he was. Oh Jesus, was he ever.
Draped like some kinda fallen angel over a puffy purple cloud was my baby. Cory’s arms was flung out wide on that there shiny bedspread, and his legs was spread just enough, and the look in his eyes was more’n a little bit naughty. Had come and get me written all over him, head to toe, he sure did. And so’s I just stood there gawkin’ at the picture-perfect gift on the bed that was my Cory, my fingers tinglin’ with a fierce need to touch.
“Come here, Brett.”
I can do that. Ain’t no problem whatsoever.
Climbin’ over the foot of the bed, I kinda lost my towel, but that was okay. And the closer I moved to Cory, the better it got, ’cause the kid smelled like he’d soaked himself in a big tub o’ peach iced tea. He just smelled so damn good. Downright temptin’, yes, sir.
I s’posed it was well past time that my hands got busy. So’s in one swift move, I dropped down beside Cory and pulled the kid right on top of me, so’s we was belly-to-belly, my palms drawn like magnets to that there silk-covered ass. Then my lips found Cory’s neck real quick and my nose pressed into them sweet, silky locks of hair; uh-huh, my senses got overloaded, yes, sir, they did. In a good way.
Wanna be insida him.
I pulled Cory’s head down so’s my mouth could meet with them pouty lips; alls I could manage to do was get a quick taste of that wiggly little tongue ’fore it wriggled outta my reach. So’s I pulled that there tongue ’tween my teeth to keep it still, and I sucked on it ’til my boy couldn’t keep still no more. And then before either of us even had a chance to blink, I’d seemed to’ve already flipped Cory underneath me, yanked them pretty boxers down his legs, and slipped ’em right offa his feet. Bare-naked, the two of us was soon grindin’ our privates together without no shame. Only problem was that tonight I wanted more’n that.
Wanna get inside.
“Gettin’ real tough for me to hold back.” Them words slipped out like some kinda guilty confession. “Just wanna be insida ya so bad.”
Soft, blue eyes lifted up and met my own lovin’ gaze, not even a speck of fear to be seen there. “Then don’t hold back.”
In order for me to see my baby’s whole face, which was super important to me just then, I pushed up offa the bed a measure, suspendin’ myself over Cory without nothin’ but the strength in my forearms. See, more’n almost anythin’ in the whole entire world, I wanted to take what Cory’d just offered, but it just wasn’t that damned simple. “You been through so much, y’know, when that bastard nearly raped ya over the summer, and, well… well, the truth is—baby, I can’t hurt you and live with myself afterwards.”
Like always, Cory’s hands found the sides of my face underneath my mop of curls that was hangin’ down. He looked right up at me and said, “The first time is always a little bit uncomfortable, Brett. I’m not afraid of that.”
But I still remembered the bloody water I’d seen drippin’ down the backs of Cory’s legs in the shower after Steven Percy’d hurt him in July. That there memory had me sorta slumpin’ offa Cory; I fell to my boy’s side on the bed, my burnin’ hot fire of passion all cooled down. “I ain’t never gonna hurt you. I’m s’posed to be here to protect you from pain, see?”
This here ain’t no joke: it almost sounded like Cory’d giggled at me a little. “But I know that you’d never try to hurt me—that’s why it would be different.” And then the kid smiled so bright, well, them blue eyes pretty much glowed. “And so what? Maybe it’ll hurt a bit in the beginning, but making love will bring us closer than we’ve ever been.” Cory’s soft fingers pushed against my chin so’s I’d turn my head and look at him. “I want us to make love. Please… please, Brett.”
Now, I didn’t need to have sex with Cory to be satisfied; I was already as happy as a man could ever be by just lovin’ the kid with my whole heart and soul. But it sounded like maybe Cory had some needs of his own. “I do wanna… I wanna make love to you too.” I sorta panted a coupla times ’cause I was scared of what I was gonna say next. “All o’ the time I dream o’ being joined up with you.” Finally, I let my eyes meet Cory’s.
Shimmerin’ and hopeful and filled up with love, them blue eyes was. “I’m already joined with you, Brett. We eat, sleep, and do about everything else together. I just want to feel you inside me.”
Before Cory’s lovin’ words could carry me away, I made my brain remember the real important shit. In fact, the most important shit of all. I pushed myself up so’s I was sittin’, which made Cory look kinda confused, along with a touch disappointed. “Sex. Well, it ain’t no small step to take, you know, Cory. Ya see, it ain’t just about our bodies feelin’ good.”
I could tell that Cory had absolutely no idea where I was goin’ with this here little speech, and who the fuck could blame him? So’s I got offa the bed, helped Cory up too, and led him to the foot of the bed in front of that there futon-couch where there was a little space to stand. “Stay here for a second.” I scrambled over to the bureau and pulled open my underwear drawer, and after riflin’ around a bit, my hand popped out clutchin’ a small black velvet box.
Yeah, you heard that right—a velvet box.
When I returned to Cory, I dropped right down onto one knee. My boyfriend’s baby blues got real wide.
“Before we make love to each other, I wanna get somethin’ straight ’tween us, ’kay?”
Them eyes grew wider. But I was pretty sure Cory nodded, if only just a hair.
Lookin’ up at Cory, with all of the hope I held in my heart written plain right there on my face, I said these words: “I wanna offer you a commitment.”
Them eyes got still even wider, they did. And the kid’s head’d tilted a measure.
“Wanna give you my whole future and wanna ask for the same outta you.”
Now them real wide eyes got kinda wet.
At this point, I couldn’t do nothin’ but pray, so’s that’s just exactly what I did. Didn’t know just exactly who I was prayin’ to, but that there wasn’t the point.
Cory banged his forehead with his hand a coupla times as if he was tryin’ to knock some cobwebs outta his brain. But on the good side, he didn’t look disgusted at all. He spoke real quiet. “What exactly are you asking me, Brett?”
I figured that the best way to answer would most probably be to just go ahead and open up the damned box. So’s that’s what I did. A thin gold band studded with four tiny chips of sapphire and emerald (kinda reminded me of Cory’s blue eyes and my green ones all lined up in a row) sparkled up at Cory. “Cory, I wanna keep you forever. I’m asking for ya to say you’ll… that you’ll, uh, you’ll m-marry me.”
Truth be told, I hadn’t never seen eyes so wide and wet as Cory’s was at that very moment. (Betcha mine was pretty wide and wet right then too.)
“W-wear my ring.” Had me some trouble talkin’; couldn’t breathe too good, neither.
The kid just gawked at me. And not likin’ the sound of silence that was settin’ in around us one bit, I decided it might be best to keep on explainin’. “See, it’s like this: once we make love, it’s gonna be like we already gone and took our vows.”
Cory nodded. A real small nod, but I s’posed that I was makin’ progress.
“When our bodies get joined up, so will our whole entire lives, honey, and we’ll be married.”
One tiny teardrop spilled outta Cory’s left eye and rolled slowly down his check, kinda detourin’ around that scar that Percy had left there. (Which totally pissed me off, but I pushed them feelin’s aside for the moment.)
“So’s, uh, what do ya say, baby?”
Cory cleared his throat. “I say my future is already yours.”
“Once I make love to you, you’ll be my husband?” My voice sounded like I was askin’ a question, but really I was more givin’ a warnin’. ’Cause truth was, folks shouldna be engagin’ in sex acts unless they had forever in their hearts, y’see? And forever was sure as shit fillin’ up my whole heart.
“I know.”
“And so I’ll be your husband, huh? Partners forever. I want this so fuckin’ bad, can’t hardly even think of nothin’ else lately.”
Oops. Was that there too much information?
“Yes.” Cory looked down at the floor a bit.
“Yes?” So’s I bent right on down so that I could search Cory’s face for signs of truth. When I was satisfied that Cory’s “yes” was for real, I lifted my boy’s left hand super gentle-like and slid the sparkly jeweled band onto his ring finger. (Stopped for a moment and kinda stared at Cory’s hand with my ring on it, I did. Wanted to burn that there awesome sight into my mind real good.) “Gonna have to tell everybody else that we got us engaged and we’s gonna get hitched this summer. And we can have us a big fancy wedding ceremony then. But just you and me’ll know the real truth: that us two got married tonight.”
Cory looked kinda flustered at this point, but it didn’t change things none. I stood up and grasped both of Cory’s shakin’ hands in mine. “After tonight, there ain’t no goin’ back.”
Cory didn’t try to pull his hands away. “Who s-said anything about going back?”
That there reply made me smile wide. “I love you, Cory.”
“I love you too… and we’ll be husbands tonight.”
And so’s our promise got sealed with a simple kiss.
“I GOT me some condoms, just in case, y’know? Think we oughta use ’em?” Naked as the day we was born, the two of us climbed over the futon onto the foot of the bed and then crawled into the center.
“I don’t think so. It’s the first time for both of us.” Cory was still actin’ real serious, super quiet, and was fiddlin’ with his new ring like a kid with his first necktie. “I don’t want anything between us. Just you… inside me.”
Goose bumps popped up all over my scarred forearms. If Cory kept talkin’ like that, well, it could all be over ’fore it even started, if ya catch my meanin’. Just sayin’. So’s I leaned across Cory to grab a tube of lotion that I’d stuck in the drawer of the nightstand. “You ready to get this here show on the road, baby?”
Christ, could I’ve said somethin’ less romantic if I’d tried?
Shit! Ain’t no smile on that there pretty face now.
“I’ve been ready, Brett, for a long while now.”
Oh.
“Well, alright then….” Nervous as a rat in a corner at being wholly intimate with this person I’d pretty much worshipped for forever, my arms wasn’t none too steady when I pulled Cory against me.
Then that sweet soft voice rose up from beneath me. “Don’t worry, Brett. This is gonna be beautiful—because it’s us.”
Them lovin’ words bolstered up my confidence enough so that I could make my move. And as always, just kissin’ my baby made me feel like I was the closest to heaven I was ever gonna get. When I bent my head and pressed my hungry lips to Cory’s sweet-smellin’ neck and then slid my lips down to his smooth chest, well, I was lost.
Finally, I reached around behind and readied Cory’s private place with gentle lubed-up fingers, that just so happened to be as fuckin’ nervous as the whole rest o’ me. Alls I heard outta my boy was a coupla staggered gasps and maybe a teensy whimper, but when I put ’em all together, I was pretty sure them little sounds spelled out:
D-O-N-T S-T-O-P.
WELL, a gentleman don’t spill all o’ the details, and to be sure, I ain’t braggin’ none, but I’d have to say that our lovemakin’ was fuckin’ unreal. Sunk deep in my brand new husband’s body, I’d felt so fuckin’ right. Like I was really and truly home, y’know? And an added bonus: the whole time I was doin’ my thing (sexually speakin’, that is), I could feel them fragile little fingers, one of ’em now wearin’ my ring, tenderly strokin’ the skin of my back, my shoulders, my ass. And sometimes, them hands’d got to clutchin’ at me and the kid’s breath was raspin’ in my ear, like maybe it hurt some, but then a second later, I’d heard a murmured, “Please don’t stop.” So’s I didn’t stop.
Lookin’ down at Cory during our lovemakin’, his head throwed back and that there silky dark hair spilled out all over our bargain-bin, purple throw pillow, I knew that the kid was as lost as me. (In a super good way.) Them misty eyes of my lover’d got all glazed over, but still they was locked right onto mine. And in them eyes, I could see my whole future.
Love and trust and friendship and desire and forever all wrapped up in a beautiful shade of blue. Yes, sir, that’s just what I seen.
Thinkin’ back on it, even though I was pretty much swimmin’ around in a pool of total ecstasy, and for that matter barely keepin’ my head above water, I’d just hadta speak right then. “Mine, Cory. Now, you’s all mine. Gonna love ya for the rest of my life.”
And if I’da thought I’d visited heaven with Cory before, well, I musta been mistaken, ’cause that there particular moment, my body all joined up with Cory’s and his manhood tight against my palm, both of us reachin’ our peaks together was—well shit, it was kinda like meetin’ God. In plainer words? That there perfect moment’d been the cherry on top of our whole relationship—all o’ the friendship and the love and the desire that we’d built over the past four years. The friggin’ cherry on top.
Okay, so’s what I did expect was pure physical ecstasy when I was buried deep insida my lover’s body. And there wasn’t no surprises in that department. No, sir. What I did not expect, though, was the expression on Cory’s face as he’d clung onto me, all lost in passion. How to put it into words, huh? How ’bout “200 percent pleasure-filled”? Nah, that there made it sound kinda like I was talkin’ about a stick o’ chewin’ gum. Or maybe the way to say it was “blissed-out.” Tough to stick a label on the look on my baby’s face when I’d been lovin’ him, it surely was. And maybe our lovin’d started out with Cory doin’ some jaw clenchin’ and eye squintin’, which mighta indicated pain (truth be told, that nearly had me pullin’ my part right the hell outta my boy), but it didn’t take long for things to change and for sheer fuckin’ joy to take over.
And lookin’ beside me now at Cory—who was busy sighin’ like a cat at a cream bowl, stretchin’ out his legs and then relaxin’ them over and over again, twistin’ his fingers all lazy-like in my hair—I was fairly sure that the kid showed all the signs of being satisfied. Had I done that to Cory with my untried body and all of its clumsy moves? Sure as shit looked that way.
“I really liked that.”
Huh? Come again? Guess I’d been lost in my thoughts for a long while now. I turned on my side so as to study my lover’s flushed face.
“I mean, I really, really liked it.”
And before I could even blink, the kid was bawlin’.
Shit on a shingle—my boy’s crying!
To put it plain, right about then I couldn’t barely fuckin’ breathe. I’d been pattin’ myself on the back like I was some kinda sexual superhero, and clearly I’d hurt Cory. I was actually more like a sexual arch-fuckin’-villain! “Hey, hey, baby, did I hurt you or somethin’?”
Them sobs kept barrelin’ outta that there slight chest, and now, Cory was also shakin’ his head back and forth.
What the fu—?
“You gotta talk to me, baby. Tell me what the hell I done wrong! I’ll fix it for ya. I’ll fix it right up!” Not a good time to vomit, no, sir, so’s I battled down my urge to barf.
Sniffin’ real loud, Cory wiped at his drippin’ eyes with the insides of his wrists. “I’m not sad, and I’m not hurt.” The kid gulped, or maybe it was more of a hiccup.
“Tell. Me. What’s. Wrong.”
Them sobs started up again, as fuckin’ ginormous as ever. “I’m crying ’cause… I’m crying ’cause it was soooo perfect!”
I felt my chest let out all o’ the air it was holdin’ in a huge whoosh of relief and then puff right back up again with pure pride, ’cause I’d made my boy cry tears of joy. I somehow managed to grin at my little buddy. “So’s makin’ love’s somethin’ you might wanna do again, y’know, sometime?”
Cory nodded, suddenly all quiet and shy. “Only with my husband, of course.”
I got me everythin’.
Sure did look like I had everythin’ that I’d never expected in life—and everythin’ that I ever coulda dreamed of, but hadn’t never let myself. Got me a life partner, a regular paycheck, a home, a coupla friends, and even a measure of respect.
Pulling the peach-smellin’ bundle of boneless, satisfied man beside me into my arms, I sighed real deep and uttered, “Yup. You’s all mine.”
SMALL hands gently shakin’ my shoulders woke me up in what musta been the super early hours of the mornin’. A spike of fear speared right up my spine, ’cause mostly when I got woke up in the middle of the night it was on account of me havin’ just had a horrifyin’ fuckin’ nightmare. Not the case tonight. “Cory, everythin’ okay, kid?”
Oh. Them small hands wasn’t shakin’ my shoulders no more. ’Cause now they was sinkin’ down lower, underneath the blanket. Oh.
“Things are better than okay.” A coupla Cory’s fingers’d found their way to my privates. Hmmm. “But I woke up, and I can’t get back to sleep.”
In the dim light of early mornin’, alls I could see was them tiny twin glows of reflected light shinin’ outta Cory’s eyes. I stifled a yawn. “Roll on over an’ I’ll rub your back; that might help ya catch some more Zs.”
“I had a different idea.”
Shit! I hoped like hell his butt wasn’t hurtin’ none on account o’ what we’d done last night. “Well… uh, sure. Tell me what you want me to do.”
Cory suddenly sat up so’s the light comin’ in the window lit up his whole face. And he sure didn’t look like he was hurtin’ none. No, sir. But I did recognize that expression—I usually called it Cory’s “kid who’s goin’ to Disneyland” face.
“Well, Brett… I wanted to know that… or if….”
Huh?
“What d’you want, kid? Tell me and it’s yours!”
Glancin’ outta the window in this fuckin’ adorable Bambi-like way, Cory spoke again, but it was quiet. In fact, it was too quiet.
“Speak up; can’t hear ya real good.”
The kid sucked in a big breath. “I wanted to know if you might wanna do it again? You know, make love… again… with me?”
Silence ruled, and that there’s a fact.
Cory shrugged and then continued. “As in, right now?” Them soft hands that I knew so well grabbed onto one of my big mitts and squeezed. “I really liked it.”
If a simple smile coulda took over a room, then my fuckin’ huge grin coulda prob’ly conquered the entire planet!
“Well?” Impatient. My baby couldn’t hardly wait for more o’ my lovin’.
Pullin’ Cory back down so’s he was beside me, I finally found the right words. “There ain’t nothin’ I’d rather do right now than make love to my beautiful husband.” And takin’ Cory in my now steady arms, I set out to show him just how fuckin’ deep my love ran.