FOR THE FIRST week she wondered if she’d been too harsh. As she replayed the shock on Duc’s face in the lawyer’s office, and then again once they’d got outside, she wondered if she’d almost crossed the line into being a little mean.
Part of her got it. He was literally watching his career dreams slip through his fingers like grains of sand on the beach. He hadn’t been joking when he’d told the lawyer that the competition for positions was tough. He’d now requested a temporary suspension. Who knew if the hospital board would look on his request kindly or not?
Viv had downloaded a whole heap of maternity protocols and Mai Ahn, the translator, had helped her translate them into Vietnamese. She now had folders with protocols in both languages, with the most important laminated and put up in the non-clinical areas as visual reminders.
The job adverts had been written and placed. The schedule had been juggled amongst the existing doctors. The antenatal clinics were busy. There were a few patients giving them cause for concern, and Vivienne had arranged a few case conference calls with an obstetrician in the main city hospital to get some professional expertise and to put plans in place.
Whilst there was a first flurry of activity, she quickly learned that within May Mắn hospital it paid to be adaptable.
The antenatal clinics only ran two days a week. The rest of the time, if there wasn’t a woman currently in labour, she had a little time on her hands. Yes, she could put plans in place for different ways of doing things, service enhancements and a review of all equipment, but most of all Viv was conscious of how much she was currently treading water.
The staff was still getting used to Khiem and Hoa not being around. Every now and then someone would mention them as if they were still there, or Viv would catch a wistful look from a staff member lost in their own thoughts.
It wouldn’t do to try and change too much at once. Not until she’d really had a chance to see what was best for the staff and patients around here. She’d experienced many areas where a new staff member or manager had charged in, full of enthusiastic plans, without taking stock of where they were, or the population they served. Just because something worked wonderfully well in a city landscape, it didn’t mean it would work well in a rural one. She’d seen too many past disasters to create one of her own.
So Viv had learned to be a willing pair of hands. She dressed wounds, helped with some of the elderly patients, assisted with patient procedures, and even helped out in Theatre when Reuben, the plastic surgeon, visited. She hadn’t quite got to the bottom of what the story was about him. But as soon as he’d heard her accent he’d queried if she was a relative of Joe’s. She’d met his question with amusement. ‘Scotland’s a pretty big place. There is more than one family.’ He’d kept his questions to a minimum after that.
She liked helping out. Although her first love was midwifery, she enjoyed using her nursing skills elsewhere when it was appropriate and it also helped her get to know all the staff a little better. She still had some challenges with the language, but she was trying hard, and the patients and staff seemed to appreciate it.
There was something about this place. She normally adapted well to new places. But Hanoi just felt different. A more vibrant community. A more international place. She was quickly learning the places to shop, the street markets to go to and the best places to eat.
She’d even picked up Lien and Joe’s son a few times from nursery when they’d both been busy at work. Regan was a cute little guy. Whenever she was with him, it was like both their Scottish accents got stronger and stronger. By the time they’d walked the street back to the hospital only Joe could understand them both.
But she liked it. The staff here welcomed her, included her in things. She’d been for drinks to celebrate a secret wedding, a thirtieth birthday party and a buffet party at someone’s house. It was nice to feel included. With the exception of being around Duc, it had been a long time since she’d felt like that.
She turned the corner to the offices and saw Duc sitting behind his father’s desk. Even she still thought of it as Khiem’s, so how must he feel?
She stopped in the doorway and folded her arms. ‘Hey,’ she said softly.
He looked up, his eyes tired. ‘Hey, yourself.’ He pushed away the laptop in front of him. ‘How many did you deliver today?’
She smiled. ‘Just the one. And she was very obliging and perfect in every way.’
She crossed the room and stood next to him. ‘When was the last time you ate?’
He didn’t really meet her gaze. For the last few weeks they’d been like ships passing in the night, both of them so busy that there hadn’t been time to sit down together, let alone to eat.
She cracked a smile. ‘I don’t know, you invite a girl here, get her to work, cover all the shifts, and you can’t even buy her dinner?’
He met her gaze. He knew she was teasing him. She gave him a nudge. ‘Come on, Mr Cool. Lien and Joe are covering tonight. Joe might have suggested we get out of here for a bit.’
‘He did?’
She nodded. ‘I think they worry. Come on, there must be somewhere good around here you can take me. Can’t remember the last time I had a good dinner.’
For the briefest second she thought he might try and make some kind of excuse. But he shook his head and stood up, lifting his jacket from the back of the chair. ‘Tell me what you want to eat.’
She closed her eyes for a second, imagining her dream dinner. ‘Fish. Sea bass if it’s available anywhere around here.’
He looked at her burgundy scrubs. ‘I know just the place, but you’d better get changed.’
She wrinkled her nose and stretched out the leg of her scrubs. ‘What, you don’t like the colour?’
He shook his head. ‘Come on.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘I’ll call and make us a reservation. Can you be ready in half an hour?’
‘Race you.’ There was a glint in her eye. He wanted to laugh out loud. Whenever they’d worked together it had been a standing joke that you didn’t want to be in Viv’s way when she was racing to the hospital canteen. It seemed that nothing had changed. He smiled. There was something about the familiarity that spread a warm feeling throughout him. Viv was the last real person he had a connection to—a connection that felt as if it counted. As he turned to close the door to the office the paperwork on the desk caught his eye.
Out of nowhere a thought shot into his head. Routine hospital paperwork included the patient giving their next of kin. His skin prickled. He’d only had a few hospital admissions his entire life. A few stitches as a kid. A broken wrist. It didn’t matter that he’d been an adult for years and had never needed to name a next of kin. But if he needed to, who would he name now?
Vivienne. Her name washed through him. Now his next of kin would be Vivienne. There was no one else. As he pulled the door closed another thought crossed his mind—one he’d never considered before. For as long as he’d known her, Vivienne had had no close relations. So who did she name?
She stepped out of the bedroom after pulling the sides of her hair back with a delicate clasp that Lien had loaned her.
Duc made a noise just to her left. She spun around and looked down. ‘What? Is there a mark on it?’
He had a strange expression on his face. She’d grabbed one of the few nicer pieces in her wardrobe. She’d only ever worn it once before. A red knee-length, off-the-shoulder fitted dress. It hugged her curves, the thick red lace bonded over a perfectly matched lining.
She slid her feet into her heels. The only jewellery she was wearing was her butterfly pendant. Her fingers went to her neck. She knew it didn’t really match, but she didn’t like to take it off.
Duc was still staring at her. He’d changed into dark trousers, a white shirt and a matching dark jacket. ‘What’s this?’ she joked. ‘The James Bond look?’
His eyes were wide. She’d moved over right next to him. She glanced down again self-consciously. ‘What is it?’ She twisted from side to side, trying to see if there was a split in one of her side seams.
It was almost as if Duc had been in a trance. He blinked and shook his head, a smile dancing at the edges of his lips. ‘I’ve never really seen you in real party gear. It suits you. You should wear it more often. Just like the business look the other day—you almost scared me.’
She lifted her eyebrows. ‘The business look? Duc, those are my interview clothes.’ She gave a half-shrug, then a little nod of her head. ‘To be honest, they’ve been pretty lucky. I’ve got every job I’ve ever gone for in that outfit.’
He laughed. ‘You’d get every job in that red dress too. Where have you been hiding that?’
She ran her hands across her stomach, smoothing down the fabric. ‘I saw it in a shop window, walked in and bought it. I never even tried it on—to be honest, I’m lucky that it fitted.’ She gave a sigh. ‘I bought it out of spite really.’
‘Spite?’ Now he was intrigued. ‘What do you mean?’
She held up one hand to her hair. ‘I’m a redhead, you might have noticed, and I spent my entire childhood with people telling me I couldn’t wear red—no matter how much I liked the colour—that it just didn’t suit me. So, I saw the dress, had just been paid, and decided I was buying it.’
He gave her a soft smile. ‘Well, from where I’m standing, it was a good decision. A great decision.’ He lifted a hand a tugged a little strand of her hair forward. ‘Your hair’s a dark red, it’s dramatic. It suits it perfectly.’
She looked up into his dark eyes. Duc didn’t normally give her compliments—they were more the type of friends to constantly spar with each other. This felt...different. For the first time she wasn’t quite sure what to say.
He tilted his elbow out towards her. ‘Shall we?’
She grinned. ‘I’d love to.’
As they reached the door, he grabbed her coat. ‘Did you put on your mosquito repellent?’
She rolled her eyes at him. ‘Of course I did.’
He gave a nod. ‘Still, better cover up. Your dress is gorgeous, but for the mosquitos you show too much skin.’
She sighed and slipped her hands into the coat, fastening it up to the neck. ‘By the time we reach the restaurant I will be a humid mess.’
He shook his head. ‘Don’t worry, it’s not far.’
They walked across the grass, through the hospital, and out into the main street.
There was something nice about getting away from the hospital. They’d rarely left the premises together since they’d got here.
Duc pointed out some of the local places to Viv. ‘It’s been five years since you were last here. This is the place the food cart stops during the day. It has the best noodle soups, like hủ tiếu—the pork base with noodles—and bún riêu—the crab and tomato broth—which are the nicest. Then there’s bánh mì, with freshly baked baguettes that just melt in your mouth. But remember, most street food vendors here change their menu every day. Try and make it when the chả giò—the crispy spring rolls—are on.’
Vivienne was rapidly trying to store all the words in her brain. ‘You know I have been walking around here, finding my own favourite places.’
‘You have?’ He looked surprised.
‘Of course I have.’ She laughed. ‘I’m a big girl. I get out and about. I’ve lived in ten different cities. I’ve learned to find the best food.’ She laughed again. ‘You know food’s my priority. It’s almost like I have an inbuilt antenna. But I might need to make a few notes in my phone.’
Duc gave her an appreciative stare, as if he hadn’t quite realised she had been finding her own feet. He pointed at a building across the street with bright blue shutters. ‘And that’s the shop where they sell those candies that you like.’
Her footsteps faltered. ‘You remember that?’
He rolled his eyes. ‘How can I forget? I had to keep asking my mum to ship me some so I could send them to you.’
A wave of sadness flashed across his eyes at the memory and she tugged him a little closer without saying anything. She didn’t need to. She just looked around her. ‘I’d forgotten how much I love this place,’ she sighed.
He looked surprised. ‘You do?’
She nodded slowly as they strolled down the brightly lit street. ‘Look at the buildings up ahead.’ She pointed to the row of shops with red, blue and yellow awnings. Packed above and looking kind of squished together was a multitude of flats—all entirely individual. There was one column in pink brick with a balcony on each level, the next column was white, with plants trailing down to the awning beneath, then came the thinnest column of flats that Viv had ever seen. One had a balcony packed with a dining table and chairs. The one above was crowded with a whole array of children’s toys. The one nearest the top had given over the entire balcony to green foliage, with dashes of brightly coloured flowers.
Viv smiled and hugged Duc’s arm. ‘This place is just packed with character. That’s what I love about it. Where else would you see such a great array of colours?’ She took a deep breath. ‘And smell such a fabulous aroma of food.’ Her eyes were gleaming. ‘This place had better be close, or you’re gonna get crazy low blood sugar, Viv, and we both know that isn’t good.’
He laughed and led her to a black door in one of the side streets, revealing a glass-fronted elegant-looking restaurant.
Viv frowned and did a double-take. ‘Is this place a secret? It looks a little out of place.’
He tapped the side of his nose. ‘It’s a closely guarded secret. The food in here is brilliant. You asked for sea bass and you won’t find better.’
He opened the door and they were greeted by a head waiter who took Viv’s jacket and led them to a pristine table, covered in a white linen tablecloth. He took their drinks order then left them with menus and Viv leaned across the table towards Duc. ‘Uh-oh, I look at a tablecloth like this and want to take bets on how long it will take me to spill something on it.’
He shook his head. ‘Well, you look the part, now you just have to act the part.’
Her eyes widened in mock horror. ‘How dare you?’
He shrugged. ‘It’s payback. You told me to man up a few weeks ago.’
She smiled. This was them. This was the way they always had been, and she instantly felt relaxed again. The last few weeks had been...odd.
She knew Duc was under enormous strain, but there had something weird in the air between them too. Something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. It was moments like this that made her realise just how deep their friendship was cemented and that filled her with relief.
The waiter arrived with their drinks then took their order. Viv glanced around. The restaurant was busy, but it wasn’t noisy. There was kind of a quiet ambience, people spoke and laughed quietly, giving the place an intimacy that wasn’t apparent from the glass frontage. It was clear just from looking around that the clientele were wealthy. Hanoi was a real mixed bag, with pockets of real wealth and real poverty, and Viv wondered if she really fitted in here.
She lifted her glass of wine to Duc. ‘Let’s have a toast.’
He nodded and picked up his glass too. ‘What are we drinking to?’
She grinned. ‘Well, last time around we were in a beach bar, with bottles of—quite possibly—the worst beer we’d ever tasted.’ She blinked and pressed her lips together. ‘I think we toasted new beginnings then.’
He sucked in a breath. He’d been due to start at the Philadelphia hospital, and she’d just got a new job in London at that point. They’d met for a crazy week in Ibiza, which was blurry around the edges.
She gave a sigh. ‘I think I spent most of that week in those denim shorts.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘Or that black bikini. Did it finally die a death due to overuse?’
She laughed again. ‘It went where all my clothes go to die—the tumble dryer!’
He held up his wine and mimicked her Scottish accent. ‘If it cannae go in the tumble dryer there’s no point havin’ it!’
She was still holding her glass up. ‘Is that going to be our toast?’
He shook his head, the laughter leaving his eyes. ‘No. I guess we should stick to the original. New beginnings. It seems kind of apt, in an entirely different way.’
She swallowed and nodded her head. He looked serious now for the first time since they’d got in here. She wished she could take away the black cloud that seemed to have settled around Duc’s shoulders from the first instant she’d arrived. She’d wanted to steal back a moment of the old Duc. The one who made her laugh until her sides ached. Who was happy to stay up until three in the morning discussing the latest sci-fi series and where it had all gone wrong.
Would she ever get that back? Her insides ached at the thought. Bereavement changed people. Of course it did. She knew that. She’d never been the same girl after her own adoptive parents had died. But witnessing her best friend being so out of his depth was hard. Duc had always been capable and more than competent. Ambitious and dedicated, with an edge of fun. Right now, only glimmers of the real Duc were shining through. She knew he was there. She just had to try and bring him back.
She lifted her glass and clinked it against his. ‘To new beginnings. For both of us.’
His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes as he lifted his glass to his lips.
The waiter appeared and sat down their plates in front of them. Sea bass with sizzled ginger, chilli and spring onions on a bed of noodles for Viv, and Vietnamese marinated flank steak for Duc. He closed his eyes for a few seconds while he was eating and let out a moan. ‘Mmm... I’d forgotten just how good this place was.’
‘You come here a lot?’ The sea bass was delicious, tasting just as good as its succulent aroma.
He nodded. ‘Every time I’ve been back.’ He never added anything else and a wave of something washed over her.
‘With your mum and dad?’
He gave a slow nod. She could see that memories were filling his head. He gave a visible shake and picked up his glass again. ‘And with friends, sometimes visiting doctors, trying to tempt them to stay.’
Viv looked around with a smile. ‘Ah, so this is the charm machine.’
‘The what?’ He looked amused.
She held out her hands. ‘The place where you do all your schmoozing.’ She looked around again with an appreciative nod then frowned and looked back at him. ‘Should I be offended this is the first time you’ve brought me? I’ve visited you here more than once.’
Duc pulled a face, realising he was in trouble. ‘I’ve never needed to schmooze you before. Because...’ he paused for a second ‘...you’re Viv.’
She took another bite of her fish. ‘I’m not sure whether to be offended or complimented.’
She held her cutlery at either side of her plate. ‘I feel cheated. Others have been wined and dined. I’ve been bought the occasional beer.’
‘Uh-oh. Are you about to renegotiate your contract?’
‘You need to give me one first,’ she quipped. ‘And this fish...’ she pointed her fork down at the plate ‘...has to be a compulsory part of it. A restaurant visit on a weekly basis will have to be part of my contract.’ She raised one eyebrow, pausing for a second as their gazes connected. ‘If you still want me to stay, that is.’
She wasn’t quite sure where it had come from. Or why she would say it now. But she’d dropped everything to be here for Duc. And the truth was she had no real job security. No guarantee. She’d learned early on in life to be self-sufficient. For Viv, that always meant dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s. Every lease was double-checked. Contracts were in her hand before she gave notice at the last job. Insurance was always in place. She’d more or less thrown all that out of the window to be here for Duc.
But something else was unsettling her. It had been since she’d got here—but she hadn’t quite been able to put her finger on it. They’d always been so easy around each other. So comfortable. She’d put the strange feeling down to Duc being upset at losing his parents. But the more she was around him, she realised it wasn’t just him. It was her too. Things just felt different between them. And the truth was it scared her. Running away was what she did best—but she’d never run from Duc before.
Duc froze. ‘Of course I want you to stay. Why would you say that?’
She lowered her gaze and started pushing her food around the plate. ‘I don’t know. You’ve seen the lawyer now. You know what lies ahead. We’ve made some plans. Maybe you think you can take things forward yourself?’
He put his cutlery down and leaned towards her. ‘Are you crazy? Why on earth do you think I don’t need you? I need you more than ever.’
She gave a slow nod. Some reassurance swept through her, along with an unexpected squeeze of her heart. Everything just felt so unsettled right now.
His gaze narrowed but his voice was laced with anxiety. ‘You’ve only been here a few weeks. You can’t be ready to move on already. You just told me that you love this place.’
She bit her lip. ‘I do. But you know me, I never stay anywhere for long.’
‘Most places you give at least six months.’ He wrinkled his nose. ‘The other place—the one you were working at. Do they expect you back?’ The worry on his face was evident.
She almost choked on her fish. ‘Are you kidding? I think I’ve burnt my bridges there. Leaving without giving proper notice?’
He rested his hands on the table. ‘Then why are you in such a hurry to leave here, to leave me?’
The words wouldn’t really form in her brain. She couldn’t really explain where the question had come from. It had just happened like that. Sometimes she was at a place, and just got an overwhelming sensation that it might be time to move on. Granted, it never usually took just a few weeks, but all her of senses felt out of alignment right now—and she couldn’t fathom why.
She let out a long slow breath. ‘Oh, you know me. I always have a wobble.’
‘Is it me?’ His dark eyes were staring right at her, sucking her in. Making her feel completely self-conscious. He ran his fingers through his hair. ‘Darn it. I’m not myself right now. I know I’m not.’
Maybe she was going crazy. Maybe this was all her in head. But her automatic reaction to feelings she couldn’t explain was to run in the opposite direction. That was where the question had come from.
Because the thought of staying here, with Duc, for any longer was doing strange things to her mind.
‘Stay, give me the six months that you normally give everywhere else. By then, plans should be in place. There should be some new, permanent staff. I can’t do this without you. You know I can’t.’
His hand reached across the table and his fingers intertwined with hers. A jolt of heat shot up her arm. Maybe it was the wine. She was on her second glass. But for some reason she didn’t want to let go.
‘Six months,’ she said softly. ‘Six months and then we both go back to where we belong?’
Her stomach was clenched, because even as she said the words she wasn’t sure if she could do it.
And she didn’t want to make promises she couldn’t keep.
Especially to Duc.
But his smile broadened and he gave a nod. ‘Six months. We’ll have it all worked out by then. I promise you.’
She hesitantly lifted her glass and clinked it against the one he offered while her stomach tumbled over and over.
Because for the first time another thought entered her head. Was six months really enough? Or would it turn out to be too long?
Maybe she wasn’t the only one making promises she couldn’t keep...