VIV HELD LIEN’S hair back while she vomited in the sink. After a minute or so she grabbed a paper towel and wiped her mouth, straightening up with a huge sigh.
‘I’m sorry,’ she breathed. ‘It just came out of nowhere.’
Viv had kicked the treatment-room door closed so they wouldn’t be disturbed. ‘How often has this been happening?’
Tears formed in Lien’s eyes. ‘Constantly. All day and most of the night too.’
Viv frowned. ‘Please, don’t tell me that you’ve been like this since the last time I caught you being sick?’
Lien gave a sorry nod.
‘And you haven’t told anyone? That’s been more than two weeks!’ Viv sighed and shook her head. ‘What does Joe say?’
Lien wiped her eyes. ‘He has no idea it’s this bad. I don’t want him to fuss.’
Viv rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, I can guarantee he’ll fuss. There’s a name for this, Lien. Hyperemesis gravidarum. Let me take some bloods and hook you up to an IV.’ She gave a sympathetic smile and wrapped her arm around Lien’s shoulders. ‘You can’t hide this any more. Let me take care of you.’ She winked at her. ‘I’m the big bad midwife. You might not know it yet, but I’m actually the boss around here.’
Lien leaned against the wall, giving another sigh. ‘We’ve told Regan. We’ve told our parents. But I haven’t told any of the other doctors—or the nurses.’ Tears still brimmed in her eyes. ‘I haven’t even told Duc yet. He needs all his doctors. We’re still one down.’
Viv shook her head and took Lien’s hand. ‘Okay, this is the point you stop being a doctor and I start being your midwife. I’m going to phone Ron. I’m going to get him to order you to stop working, get some rest, and get started on an IV. You’re dehydrated, Lien. We need to get this under control.’
Lien’s eyes were glassy now, but she nodded and Viv understood. She’d needed someone to take the decision away from her, otherwise she’d just keep working until she finally collapsed.
Viv opened the treatment-room door and led her through to a single side room, grabbing a sick bowl on the way. ‘Have a seat on the bed and I’ll get things organised. And,’ she said slowly, ‘I’ll go and grab Joe, and tell Duc he needs to come in and see you.’
Lien nodded. She already looked secretly relieved. Then she held up her hands. ‘Take my bloods first, otherwise that pair will try and do it. I’d prefer it if it was you.’
‘Of course.’ Fifteen minutes later the bloods were taken, Ron had consulted with them over the phone, insisting he’d be in that evening to see Lien, and the IV was in situ.
Viv walked down the corridor to Theatre and shook off the headache she was having. Last night had been weird. She’d had chills, actual chills, and had woken up sweating so badly she’d had to change her pyjamas. When she’d checked her temperature it had been high. Truth was she’d felt kind of weird the last few days. She’d hoped she wasn’t coming down with something so she’d taken some paracetamol then, and a few more this morning. She still wasn’t feeling a hundred per cent, but she had a job to do. There wasn’t time to be sick. She pushed open the door to where Duc and Joe had just finished and were changing into clean scrubs.
‘Hey, guys,’ she said, as the door banged open.
Both looked up, surprised. It wasn’t that she hadn’t seen either of them in a state of undress before—the theatre changing room was shared. It was just unusual for her to come in unannounced.
‘Something wrong?’ Joe asked immediately.
She gave him a nod. ‘I have a new patient in room seven. Hyperemesis gravidarum. Eleven weeks. Dehydrated and hooked up to an IV.’
Joe let out an expletive and walked straight out the door.
Duc was clearly confused. ‘What am I missing? Is Ron not available?’
It was clear he was thinking about the patient and symptoms. This wasn’t usually the kind of patient Viv would bring to him.
His frown deepened as he processed Joe’s reaction, then she could see recognition forming in his brain. She nodded. ‘It’s Lien. I said I’d come and get you both.’
He finished pulling a fresh scrub top over his head. She couldn’t miss the broad shoulders and abs, but she was telling herself not to look at them, just to focus on his face because that was safer. But was it?
Ever since that second kiss, she’d had dreams every night that were filled with Duc. Every morning she woke up angry with her subconscious for letting him in. He would be leaving soon. She had to stop associating this place with him. Particularly when she liked this place so much.
The previous fleeting thoughts about this place feeling like home had been pushed from her head. She’d recognised that she’d started to associate Duc with feeling like home. That wouldn’t happen. She’d been crazy to even think about things for a second. It was a waste of time and energy, and if she focused on the angry part, she could try and forget the hurt part.
Because if she thought about it too much, it played havoc with her senses. Her brain was so glad she didn’t have to contemplate the thought of Duc not wanting to leave, because where would that leave her? She’d have to face up to how much her feelings towards him had changed, and what that was doing to her. Even at the club, that guy who’d asked her to dance had been her ‘safe’ option. The type she always chose. Because there was no attachment, no relationship potential. She could keep that shell around herself perfectly in place. But if it was Duc...
She was trying hard to keep things on an even keel between them.
Things had been awkwardly casual. It was the way it had to be.
She appreciated that he hadn’t pressed her on what had happened between them. But it meant that once again there was a tension in the air between them, both of them finishing conversations as quickly as possible and moving on.
He still hadn’t told her about returning to his surgical position, and she almost understood that. The old ease between them had gone. Previously she would have expected him to tell her almost everything. But now? Would he be the first person she would tell about any life-changing plans? Probably not.
Now he gave her a half-scowl. ‘Why didn’t you tell me Lien was pregnant? Why didn’t you tell me she was sick?’
He’d started down the corridor with long strides and she had to run to keep up. She grabbed his hand, making him stop. ‘If I have to explain patient confidentiality to you, Duc, it’s a bad day between us.’
There was a flash of fury in his eyes. She almost expected him to spit out, ‘Isn’t that normal for us now?’
Instead, she watched him take a deep breath. ‘I thought we practically had a shared brain, Viv. You tell me, I tell you. It doesn’t go any further.’
She met his gaze head on as a surge of anger pulsed through her. She could so easily spit out that she’d seen his email. But she didn’t. She just shook her head. ‘So did I,’ she said instead, and walked past him into Lien’s room.
Joe was sitting on the bed next to her with his arm around Lien’s shoulders.
He looked at Viv straight away. ‘Did Ron give you a time?’
She nodded. ‘He just sent me a text. He’ll be here at five-thirty.’
Duc walked around her and bent to kiss Lien on the side of the cheek. ‘Congratulations, Mumma. Now, what can I do to help you?’
Lien laid her exhausted head back on the pillow. ‘Cover her shifts,’ Viv answered for her. ‘Lien needs some time out. Sometimes this passes—sometimes it can last a whole pregnancy, and right now we have no way of knowing.’
Duc nodded. ‘Fine. I had some enquiries the other day. A doctor who worked here with my mother and father wondered about coming back for a spell.’
Joe looked up. ‘That would be ideal. You know that your mum and dad will already have checked them out. It would save the time of having to advertise and interview for a job.’
Duc nodded. ‘I’ll get Sen to pull out their file. Unless there’s anything to give concern, I’ll see when they can start.’
Lien’s brow furrowed. ‘Do you have a name? I might have been here when they worked here before.’
Duc nodded and pulled his phone from his pocket checking his emails. ‘Yip, here it is. A French guy, Emile Dupont?’
Lien smiled as she closed her eyes. ‘Ah, I remember him. He’s in his fifties. He’s a great doctor, very lyrical.’
Viv frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
Lien kept her eyes closed. ‘He’s like a walking poet. His grasp of the language is good, and he can talk to patients for hours. They get almost mesmerised by him.’ She opened her eyes for a second and met Duc’s gaze. ‘He’s a good fit. He’ll do well. I hope he can make it.’
‘Consider it done.’ Duc sounded determined. Viv could see the worry on his face as he looked at his friend.
She liked that about him. Part of her felt a little guilty for not telling him about Lien, but her professional head reassured her she’d done the right thing. The good thing was she was confident he would do anything he could to help Lien—as would the rest of the staff.
She gave a nod. Joe was stroking Lien’s hair and she could tell they needed a little time alone. ‘Hey, guys, can I pick up Regan for you at nursery?’
Joe shot her a grateful look. ‘That would be great. I’ll call and tell them you’ll be there. Thanks so much.’
‘No problem.’ Viv checked Lien’s IV one more time, filling in her charts before leaving the room and giving a quick handover to the nurse in charge.
Duc followed her out of the room. ‘Viv.’ She turned, thinking he was going to complain, but instead he gave her a grateful glance. ‘Thanks for looking after Lien. I’m sorry I snapped at you. Of course you couldn’t tell me, and I know she’s in safe hands with you and Ron.’
She breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Don’t worry, Duc. If I need to consult at some point, I will.’
He nodded, reassured, then paused, and she could tell he was going to say something else. Her stomach clenched as she waited.
‘Could you give me a hand with something later?’
‘Sure,’ she said cautiously, wondering what on earth she’d just got herself into. That headache was still nagging away at her.
‘I need to have a clearout—for the goodwill store. I should have done it earlier, but I guess—’ his brown eyes met hers ‘—I wasn’t ready yet.’
She understood instantly. She knew the cupboards were still stuffed with his parents’ clothes and possessions. She’d never said anything because it wasn’t her issue to push. She gave a nod. ‘Let me pick up Regan and I’ll help you when I get back.’ She turned to leave then gave a little smile. ‘Stick around for a bit in case Lien needs anything prescribed.’
She knew he was frustrated about his friend and letting him feel valuable would help them both. Joe shouldn’t really prescribe anything for his wife, so until Ron arrived, Duc would be in charge.
‘Sure.’ He nodded and took a seat behind the desk at the nurses’ station. Somehow Viv knew he would still be sitting there when she got back.
Duc was feeling odd. He supposed it wasn’t unusual. He’d collected a host of boxes and bags. Viv appeared at the bedroom door, looking looked a little paler than normal. ‘Let’s be methodical about this,’ she said. She’d changed into a pair of old joggers and an oversized T-shirt, her hair tied up high on her head. He was glad. She knew exactly how big a job this was going to be.
She went to one of the kitchen drawers, found a black marker and started writing on a few of the boxes. The word Goodwill adorned a few, Keep adorned another, and at the last second she paused, finally writing Completed on it.
‘Okay,’ she breathed. ‘We’ll start with the clothes. Anything that’s in good or reasonable condition goes to goodwill, anything you want to keep for yourself goes in the keep box, and the rest of things, like underwear, et cetera, we’ll put in the completed box.’
Now he understood. She hadn’t wanted to write Garbage or Disposal on it. Completed was a nicer way to label all the things he’d have to take to the dump.
He nodded. She grabbed her phone and set it on the speakers. He wondered what she was doing, but then a familiar playlist filled his ears. It was songs they’d listened to across the span of their friendship. Most of them had a memory attached. But it was a memory of Viv and Duc—usually fun and light-hearted. Feel-good sorts of songs. Something to distract them while they worked. She pulled out a bowl and filled it with the chocolate they always ate in the UK.
‘Where did you get them?’ he asked.
She smiled. ‘I had them stashed. Seemed like a good time to share.’
He leaned over and gave her a hug, not letting it mean anything more than it should. She was doing this for him.
It was harder than he’d thought. Every now and then a flash of his mum or dad’s clothing would give him a flashback—a memory from the past. Several times he had to stop and just breathe. Viv watched quietly.
She was methodical, folding his mother’s clothes into piles neatly in the appropriate box. He hesitated over a familiar shirt of his father’s. He eventually shook his head and put it in the goodwill box along with the others.
Books were next, with him keeping a few. Then shoes which were all bagged up for goodwill too. The photograph albums he left in a cupboard. They could be done another day. Viv helped him wrap some older ornaments in tissue paper and pack them away. A few were sentimental but some could go.
He watched as she sighed as she wrapped things in tissue paper, her hands pausing. Her voice was quiet. ‘Last time I did this was for my mum.’
She glanced up at him. He could see the hidden tears in her eyes. ‘My adoptive mum,’ she clarified. ‘You think that you’re ready but packing up the house is hard. It hits your gut in places you just don’t expect it to.’
He reached over and laid his hand over hers for a second. He’d expected this to be hard, but he’d forgotten that this would bring up memories for Viv too.
‘You don’t need to help.’ His voice was hoarse.
Her eyes met his. ‘Yes,’ she said clearly. ‘I do.’
She stood and walked through to the bedroom, coming out a few moments later with his mother’s jewellery box in her hands. ‘What about this?’ she asked tentatively. ‘Will we just put it somewhere safe?’
He shook his head and held his hands out. ‘Bring it here. My mum had a vast collection of jewellery, most of it just decorative. There are only a few things that are special.’
She sat next to him on the sofa and set the wooden box on his knees. Duc paused for a moment, noticing his hands were shaking. This should be routine. There were millions of people around the world who’d had to do this. He wasn’t the first person to pack up the belongings of his mother and father.
He opened the box and lifted out the first item, a black jewelled necklace. It was something his mother had worn frequently because it had gone with lots of her clothes. He passed it to Viv without a word. A long silver chain followed, then a necklace with a large red charm. There were a number of bracelets and bangles. Some he didn’t recognise at all, and he passed them one by one to Viv. He stopped at a tri-gold bangle, the three colour strands twisted together. He put that back in the box. It had been an anniversary present from his father.
Then there was a gold locket. He turned it over in his hands. It was followed by an emerald-and-diamond ring. His mother and father had been buried wearing their wedding rings. He hadn’t thought to question where his mother’s engagement ring was. He hadn’t thought about it until now.
A sound caught in his throat.
Viv’s hand came next to his. She intertwined their pinkies but didn’t say the words. She didn’t have to. The warm feeling spread through his skin.
‘Of course,’ he said softly. ‘She wouldn’t wear her engagement ring at work. Infection control.’ His finger ran across the face of the emerald with diamonds set on either side.
Viv spoke quietly. ‘It’s nice, you know. That you have something to cherish that belonged to your parents. Something you can keep and remember them by.’ Her voice had a strange tone to it. ‘I remember your mother wearing that ring on occasion. She loved it. It meant so much to her.’
He looked up to catch the expression on her face. It made him catch his breath.
The look in her eyes was distant. It wasn’t envy, it was sorrow. It struck straight to his heart.
This was the second time he’d realised what he had in comparison to her. How not everyone grew up with happy memories and safe lives.
He took the last things from the box, leaving just the bangle, the locket and the ring. His eyes fell on the packed boxes covering the floor. ‘I think this is enough for today.’
She nodded and pressed her lips together. ‘Sometimes I wonder if you know what you’ve got here, Duc.’
He looked up sharply. ‘What do you mean?’
She took a deep breath. ‘I mean, I like this place. It’s already wonderful, and you could make it even better. I haven’t even seen the other two hospitals. I have no idea of the potential there.’
He was surprised. ‘Viv, you almost sound like you don’t want to move on.’
She stood up quickly, not wanting to get into any conversations like this. ‘You know me,’ she said breezily. ‘I don’t put down roots.’ But when she swallowed there was a lump in her throat. Even though they were sorting through Duc’s parents’ things, it was hitting her hard. It was bringing home to her just how isolated an existence she led. Who would do this for her one day? She couldn’t even bear to think about it.
She’d spent so long being self-sufficient, not giving any part of herself to someone else, because she didn’t trust anyone with her heart, and her life.
She blinked away the tears that formed in her eyes. Even Duc. She’d pushed away the one person who’d managed to break through her barriers a little.
Now it was her turn to have shaky hands. She’d seen the relationship between Lien and Joe. It actually made her stomach ache she envied it so much—the togetherness. The ‘us against the world’ mentality of it all. Joe had lost his first wife. How hard had it been for him to reach out again?
She sucked in a breath through her teeth, willing it to steady her hands and her heart rate. Tiny parts of Hanoi had been tugging away at her heart this past few months.
She loved the people, she loved the buzz of the streets, she loved the work. It was the first time in a job where she hadn’t started automatically looking for something else a few months in.
But Duc was a huge, huge part of this.
Would she want to stay if he wasn’t here?
His voice was quiet. ‘But you can’t be like that for ever. At some point, in some place, you might find a place that you don’t want to leave six months later. Do you think this could be the place?’
It was almost like he was reading her mind.
She looked up at him, her eyes wide. ‘How can it be the place, Duc? It’s yours. It belongs to you—and you don’t even want to be here.’
She could feel the anger rise in her chest. ‘I’ve told you before to look around you—look at what you potentially have. But you don’t want it.’ She shook her head. ‘I just don’t get it. Everything handed to you on a plate and you want to walk away.’ Now she really was shaking all over. ‘I saw the email. You didn’t even tell me about it—but I know you’re going back to the surgical programme. So what’s the point of asking me if I want to stay when you want to run away?’
She could have asked about this earlier—she’d wanted to. But part of it had been pride. She’d wanted him to tell her himself. And the other part? That was being afraid of his answer. The reasons why he wanted to go back. She didn’t need to hear that she just wasn’t enough for him to consider staying.
Duc flinched. ‘You think I’m running away? And you think all this came on a plate?’ He flung out his hands. ‘I got this because my parents are dead, Viv. Not because I chose it.’ He was mad and he couldn’t hide it.
But Viv didn’t back down, she was too riled up. She leaned towards him. ‘Well, you should. You should choose it. You should want it. Because I do.’
The words came out of nowhere from a place deep inside her and they both stopped talking and stared at each other for a few silent seconds.
Duc reached up and touched her shoulder. ‘You want to stay?’ His touch seemed to still her trembling body.
Panic gripped her. She’d said that out loud. She hadn’t meant to, and Duc was looking at her in the strangest way...
‘No,’ she shot back quickly, trying to find a way to retreat. ‘Of course not.’
‘You do.’ He shook his head. ‘Admit it. You like it here. You want to stay.’
It felt as if her throat was closing over. No words would come out. She felt exposed. As if he could see inside her. She didn’t like that—she wasn’t ready for it.
Her head was pounding again. She stood up and walked over to the cupboard to find some more paracetamol. Duc followed her. ‘We need to talk about this.’
‘No,’ she said determinedly. ‘We don’t. What difference does it make anyway? You want to leave. I want to stay. What’s there to talk about?’
She popped some paracetamol from the foil and grabbed some water. Duc’s eyes went to the medicine. ‘What’s wrong?’
She shook her head. She didn’t want to discuss this with him either. But before she had a chance to respond his brow furrowed. ‘Who said I was going back to surgery? I might have made a few queries, but I haven’t decided that.’
She was starting to see spots in front of her eyes. ‘If you’re not going back, why ask the question?’
Her stomach cramped as a wave of nausea swept over her. All of a sudden she knew she needed to lie down. Maybe if she did, this headache would go away.
Duc glanced at her, a worried expression on his face as he moved closer. He sighed. ‘I was keeping my options open. But the longer I stay here, the more I realise what I can do. You’re right, there’s a world of opportunity here. It’s just taken me a while to see it. I was so set on being a surgeon that I didn’t really take the time to consider other options. But now...’ He let his voice tail off.
He blurred. Either that or he moved a supersonic speed. Or maybe he didn’t. She was going to be sick. The tiny spots that had appeared at the edges of her vision threatened to take over.
Then all of a sudden everything went black.
The last thing she felt was Duc’s arms around her as the world slipped away.