“Ben, are you sure you can handle him alone?”
“Millie, I deal with thousand-pound beasts on a daily basis. I’m sure I can manage this twenty-five-pound poop factory for a few hours by myself.”
“Maybe I should just do this another day.”
“Women, if you don’t just go and leave us men alone,” I said, teasing her knowing it was the hardest thing in the world for her to let Elijah out of her sight for a few seconds, let alone a full day.
“OK, I am just going to miss my strong men so much. Mommy loves you.”
“And Daddy loves you,” I responded, knowing she wasn’t talking to me.
Millie kissed us both and locked up the shop behind us as she went off on her all-girls day. Her assistants and some of her friends convinced her that she needed a break from work, Elijah, and me. I couldn’t agree more. I loved her drive and dedication, but I was beginning to worry that she was losing herself in all the sacrificing she was doing. I helped them talk her into taking the day off for some pampering. She worried most about who would keep Elijah, but I told her me and the little man would be fine, plus we had some man stuff to talk about. I am so glad that she finally agreed to go, and I hope she has a blast doing whatever they do today.
After leaving Millie’s shop, my first stop was the barber shop. I didn’t need a haircut but the barber shop was the hangout spot for the guys who didn’t frequent the saloons. When I got there, it was just as I figured, loud talking and laughter. A little known secret is that in a barber shop men gossip as much as women, but the shop was also a place where you could discuss the news, politics, government, sports, relationships, home improvement, you name it. The fellas harassed me a little about being Mr. Mom, but all and all it was just good-natured teasing, and besides that Elijah was the star of the town. Not too long after his birth, someone noted that he was the first child born in Asante. In our excitement, my entire family missed that fact, but the town took note and threw a huge celebration to welcome him into the world. So mostly when the townsfolk got a chance to see him, they adored his birth and what it symbolized for our town, growth and prosperity.
We didn’t spend much time at the barber shop and found ourselves settled on a bench outside of the general store once I had gone inside to treat myself to a sweet snack. I parked Elijah’s buggy next to the bench, then scooped him out and sat him on my knee. Passersby waved at us, spoke a greeting, and some stopped to pinch his cheeks. Elijah was handsome like his father, so it was no surprise that the women adored him, at least that was the joke I would tell myself as they fussed over him. I will say he was a world-class ham. He relished the attention as if he knew everything that was going on. He would make the cutest noises and faces at the women. He even made little spit bubbles if they kissed his cheeks as if he was trying to plant a wet on back on them. He didn’t care too much for the men, though. He wouldn’t go so far as to kick up a fuss, but he would have this stiff little brow and serious expression for the males that stopped by.
Elijah and I haven’t had much alone time. Since his birth, I swear, his mother has only let him out of her sight at night when he sleeps, and even then she sleeps with one eye open. I wasn’t kidding when I told Millie that we had some man stuff to talk about. I truly believe that babies are always learning, and although they can’t speak, they understand long before we give them credit for understand. This belief is why I started talking to Amillia’s belly the night she told me I was going to be a father and every night until the day Elijah was born. I would read to him at night or talk to him when she would say he is being overly active and killing her back, and a few times Millie asked me to talk to him because she said he hadn’t moved much at all that day. No matter what the reason, I felt it to be important to speak to my unborn child as early and often as possible, and it never failed that he would respond by either movement or calming his movements. Needless to say, that this created a special bond between not only Elijah and I, but Amillia and I also grew even closer. She has often said how seeing that side of me was the most wonderful loving acts she has ever experienced and that watching me bond with our unborn child was the punctuation on what she had already considered a perfect love affair. So now that the traffic of people was starting to die down, we had the quiet we needed to have our talk.
“Hey, little man, you enjoying our little guys’ day out?” I always spoke to him like he understood every word; I am not a fan of baby talk. I just believe that it helps with his development.
“Well, I’m having a blast hanging with one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. As a matter of fact, I can’t think of any other place I would rather be than here with you right now,” Elijah responded with a chuckle. I wasn’t sure if he liked what I said or if it was gas.
“So, Mr. Man, I have a few things that I want you to remember. Can you promise to do that for me?” I waited for an answer or any sign of confirmation. The drool that dripped on his shirt was enough for me.
“Now let me tell you what you are agreeing to. There are three key principles that will shape your life and relationships with people. Number one is always tell the truth. There is no substitute for truth and honesty. One thing I want you to know is that truth is not synonymous with honesty, but they should always go together. Truth is based on fact and honesty is based on understanding. A perfect example of this is if someone says that blood is blue and bet you twenty dollars that it was true, then argue that they won the bet on the technicality that they were talking about the color while it was in your veins and not when it is exposed to the air. This is an example of a person using the truth as a deception based on the fact that they didn’t honestly reveal the true nature of their intent leaving it up to your understanding of the facts to create their win. Even though sometimes the truth may hurt, it is far less painful than the discovery of deceit and lies. Remember that when it comes to dealing with others, one thing that truly defines you is your word. Your word is like credit—the more you renege, the less it is worth in the future. Son, we live in a world where a man lives by his reputation. Hell, I created this town to run off a system that is solely based on a person giving their word to another. Thus far it has been successful because no one has broken their word to a degree that could not be reconciled.”
“Number two is do the right thing. Although it is number two, you will be defined mostly in life by what you do more so than what you say. A man’s life when it’s all said and done is measured by the sum of actions, not his words. You can say a lot of meaningful things, but they pale in comparison to meaningful acts. I am confident that you will learn enough about morals and values from me, your mother, and your uncles to guide you throughout your entire life.”
“Last but certainly not least, don’t be afraid to be different. If your heart tells you to follow the road less traveled, listen to it. It takes a real man to go against the norms of society. Sometimes you will be viewed as courageous and sometimes you will be vilified, but if you believe in your heart of hearts that what you believe in is the right thing, then, my son, you go for it and don’t let anyone discourage you.”
“Now just remember those three things and life will be a piece of cake.” That was my last hoorah before I realized that Elijah was fast asleep and had left a package in his diaper from lunch for me to take care of.
Most people may think me crazy for laying such a heavy load on an infant, but as I said before, I truly believe they understand far more than we give them credit for. Besides that, I needed to vent. I still had a lot on my mind from what was going on in my life, and talking to Elijah was like therapy, and he was a great listener and he never judged me. I knew I said all those things because I was seeking validation for decisions I have made or was going to make.
I changed Elijah’s diaper and decided to do a little more shopping before we headed home. The little fella had a great afternoon nap and didn’t awaken until we were back in the comfort of our home. I spent the rest of the day being his horse or acting out battles I had fought in to keep him entertained. He seemed to love every minute of it, and it was my pleasure to have spent this time with my boy. He helped me sort through some things today which will allow me to spend even more time with him like this in the near future.