17 Caspian

Timing was everything. It permeated every aspect of life. It determined the outcomes of wars, relationships, births, and deaths. And it was completely and utterly out of our control.

Even with all the craziness, my thoughts returned to Rachel. I thought back on all the time that had come before. I thought about the first moment that I saw her. I remembered the way my chest had clenched. The way my heart had soared. I’d known then that I’d never be the same. And it only grew worse. The more time I spent with her, the more I needed her. I knew nothing of the truth behind her arrival until it was too late—until my heart was so completely tethered to her that it was impossible to let go.

I knew nothing of the true story of Earth until it was too late for her to simply return to her life—but even if it had been possible, I couldn’t have allowed it. I wasn’t sure I could survive without her. I’d turned her into a crutch. I’d tied her so into my being that I couldn’t allow her the air she needed to grow. Yet even knowing all of that I doubted I’d have done anything differently. Would I have really sent her back all those years ago? No. I wasn’t that good of a man. And I knew I could make her happy. She’d loved me, and one day she’d realize that again. And together we’d save what was left of our people—for even if she was of Earth, she was a Lexa now.

I waited until Telton’s plan had been set in motion. Dale was outside of the ship. Standing as bait—for that was what he was no matter what Telton wanted to call it. While Dale distracted the ship, Telton got the cannons ready. And they would work—but only on that ship. Not on the next ones that would be following behind. I didn’t need Rachel’s robot to tell me that more waited in the wings. My father wouldn’t have sent a solitary ship. If he’d determined Rachel’s location he would have sent many. But he also wouldn’t shoot. If he believed Rachel was on board, he wouldn’t take that chance.

I waited for the shots to ring out. The incoming ship blew up in a flash of fire and light. Telton had ammunition to take out more, but that was this time. It wouldn’t stop.

Dale ran inside the ship so fast, curling up in a ball on the floor. I left him alone. He’d done his part. Maybe one day he’d recover from it. “Good luck, kid.” I gave a terse goodbye before I walked out the way he came.

“There’s more coming!” I heard Carl’s cry as I climbed out onto the wing. “Ready the guns.”

“Caspian!” Telton called into my headpiece. “Where are you going?”

“I’m doing what needs to be done.” I took off the headpiece and headed further down and away from the door.

The two ships moved out of their cloaking cover. I’d been spotted. They wouldn’t shoot me. They needed the medallion I wore on my ring. They could kill me once they had the ring, but I doubted they would. My father wanted me back even if it was only to use me as a pawn.

I put my hands up above my head in the universal sign of surrender.

The explosives were hidden away—impossible to find in the search I’d be given once inside. Turning myself over was dangerous. There was always a chance I was wrong—but if I were on the inside I could turn their attention away from the ship—away from Rachel. This was it. My chance. I’d prove to her I could be who she needed. I could be the kind of man she’d learn to love again.