“What is the meaning of this! Put me down this instant!”

“Xf ibwf uif hsfbu pof! Boe if mpplt efmjdjpvt!” (WE HAVE THE GREAT ONE! AND HE LOOKS DELICIOUS!)

Zarfloots! I don’t have time to be hauled all over this ridiculous planet by a bunch of oddly shaped nitwits! I have places to go and people to kidnap! Well, one person, anyway. Hey! What was that?! Did one of them just… lick me? One of them just licked me! That darn well better be a sign of respect on this planet, or heads will roll! Wait… do they even have heads?

“If’t b mpu tnbmmfs uibo J uipvhi if xpvme cf.” (HE’S A LOT SMALLER THAN I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE.)

“Zft. Xf ibe cfuufs cf bu uif gspou pg uif mjof jg xf xbou up hfu tpnf.” (YES. WE HAD BETTER BE AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE IF WE WANT TO GET SOME.)

“What are you saying? I can’t understand you. I think I may have made out the word ‘brilliant.’ If you happen to be discussing how brilliant I am, I totally agree. And feel free to continue!”

Bah! It’s no use. I may as well be talking to an eggplant. If they don’t put me down soon, I know which planet I’m going to conquer first once I get my hands on that Zorb! What is the point of all this? Where are they taking me?