Well, now! This is more like it! Finally someone recognizes the brilliance, the might, the majesty of Erik Failenheimer! Not to mention my leadership capabilities. When these… whatever the heck they are… saw me roaming around back there, they obviously could sense my aura of magnificence. And what about that rock formation bearing my likeness? Never have I laid eyes upon a more beautiful landscape! Although, I must admit, it is a strange coincidence.
But I wonder-what is the meaning of all this? What do they want from me?
Wait. One of them is approaching my throne.
He looks like he might be their leader. Or might have been their leader before I arrived.
“Who are you? And why have you chosen me? Not that I blame you, of course. I’m an excellent choice for… whatever it is you chose me for.”
“…”
“Hello?! Do you understand anything I’m saying? I hope you don’t expect me to just sit here and stare at your blank, silent faces all day.”
“…”
“Zarfloots, man! Don’t just stand there like an imbecile! Do something!”
There, it looks like that got things going. He’s motioning for me to follow him. But where?
We’re winding our way back through the village, to a cave at the base of the handsome rock formation.
Now he’s taking the torch from its stand and leading me inside. I don’t know what he intends to show me, but whatever it is must be pretty important. Guards are posted every twenty feet along the wall.
All right, this is getting ridiculous now. Counting our trek through the village, I’ve been walking for at least five minutes already. And the cave floor is cold. And a little damp. This is no way to treat an evil genius who you have just given a crown and robe to, for Pete’s sake! It’s time to demand I be carried the rest of the way and… wait! The torch is illuminating something there on the wall.
What the… that’s me! But these etchings look ancient! Yet, there I am, crash-landing onto this very planet! And seated on the throne! And leading this planet’s inhabitants into battle! And… could it be? YES! That’s me, the master of all I survey, holding the Zorb aloft as these curvy creatures grovel at my feet!
This proves it. I am destined to rule the universe! It has been foretold! I will lead my army of minions… no, pinions… against those who dare to oppose me, and stake my rightful claim to the all-powerful Zorb! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!! BWAHAHAHA!!!
