“So what was the deal with that weird little guy with the big ears yesterday? He and that group of wobbly goofballs with him were the highlight of the dance!”
“I know, right? They said the whole thing was an act. Part of the entertainment.”
The “they” they’re talking about would be my dad. He thinks the other kids would be better off not knowing about things like the Zorb. He thinks they have enough to deal with out here in space without worrying about things like being turned into goo or being enslaved by a power-hungry plushy. Maybe he’s right, but I don’t think he’s giving us kids enough credit.
Either way, the rest of the gang and I are sworn to secrecy. Which means no one will know I helped save the universe. Again. It also means that instead of being an intergalactic hero, I’ll continue to be Larva Boy. Or the Drifting Doofus. Or Genius. Maybe I’ll write a book about all this someday. Although, with my luck, they’ll probably put it in the fiction section.
“Mr. Klosmo, we’ll begin with you.”
Of course we will.
I hate writing theme papers. I spent an hour last night just staring at my blank tablet screen. Zilcharino. Then I overheard Mom reading Bula her favorite bedtime book, and it gave me an idea. So I decided to go a different route. I figured I might as well go for it. It’s not like a kid they call Larva Boy has much to lose anyway. Right? I guess we’ll see.
My reputation when I got here
Was that I was really smart.
But instead of being honest,
I thought I could act the part.
Well, that was a disaster,
As I’m sure you’re all aware,
Because I’m barely average
When it comes to mental flare.
So now I’m teased by everyone.
Well, almost, I should say,
Because there are some classmates
Who’ve stuck with me all the way.
First, there’s Gil Lagoonie,
Who’s a friendly, happy soul.
How hard it all must be for him
To live inside that bowl.
And Brian’s brain is on display
inside a plastic globe.
We all know when he’s nervous,
’Cause it shrinks his frontal lobe.
Zot is full of energy,
Enough to light a moon.
She’s so graceful and athletic
That I feel like a buffoon.
Rand-El is the only kid
With glasses on his planet.
Some kids call him Twelve Eyes.
That can’t be too pleasant, can it?
Spotch is pretty even keeled,
He’s rarely up or down.
It’s really hard to make him smile,
Harder yet to make him frown.
Grimnee doesn’t say too much,
A chatterbox she’s not.
But if you are a bully,
She will squash you on the spot.
Mippitt’s brain is made of circuits.
He’s got wires instead of veins.
He mainly beeps and whistles,
But I like him just the same.
And Dorn was quite the bully.
He would terrorize the school,
But Grimnee put an end to that
And now Dorn’s pretty cool.
So the answer’s right in front of me,
I had it all along,
Because having awesome friends
Is the thing that makes me strong.
Oh, man. That sounded way less lame in my head before I actually read it out loud. Kelvin, you’re such a putz! D minus, here I come. And if I thought the teasing was bad before, I’m going to have to wear my helmet to class to deflect the bombs coming my way after this disaster.
“Hey! It’s the Radical Rhymer!”
The Radical Rhymer? Yeah, I guess I can live with that. At least until my Mighty Mega Supergeniusness kicks in.
