At the Vicarage
My parents’ new apartment didn’t seem at all like home, but we didn’t stay there long: We went to Cornwall and then to Matron’s. She said to call her Veronica, and she had a brother about Emmy’s age! His name was Barnabus; Veronica called him Barny. He was blond and plump and seemed to like having us there.
Emmy, Bubby, and me in Cornwall.
They lived in an old house — not as big as Sibton Park, but big, with lots of halls and passageways and a room just for books. There was a big overgrown garden with a swing, and at the back, a fenced-in yard for a flock of chickens!
Emmy and Bubby, of course, thought this was great and spent most of their time playing there. They ran around the house clucking and giggling, too. They had become very good friends — they slept in the same room and Veronica let them sleep in the same bed. She also let them feed the chickens and find their eggs.
I didn’t like the chickens: They were very smelly and, I thought, quite stupid. Barny didn’t like them either. He said, “Before you came, I had to go into the hen house and get the eggs every morning. I hated it!”
He usually played with Willy. Sometimes I played with them, but usually I talked to Veronica or read on the first-floor landing. It had dark green-patterned wallpaper — very old, Veronica had told me. It went well with the house, I thought: branches from all the old trees around it came right up to the windows. One morning I was lying there, reading — with that green wallpaper and those leafy branches it was almost like reading in a tree house. Downstairs, I could hear Veronica typing (she was writing a novel and we talked about it every afternoon). I heard Willy and Barny playing in the small drawing room; after a while, I decided to go down and see what they were doing.
They were playing an old-fashioned, by-hand version of pinball, which they called backgammon. They played this over and over, almost every day! They were playing when I went in: Willy was shooting and Barny was holding a pad of paper. They both looked very serious.
“Shh!” Barnabus said. “He needs to concentrate on his shot!”
Willy looked almost scared as he flicked the marble. Then: “BAD luck!” Barnabus said, in that polite, cheerful English way. “My turn!”
I looked at the pad: There were lots of points for Barnabus, none for Willy.
I went outside: Emmy and Bubby were, of course, in the chicken yard — I could hear them laughing and clucking.
I could have gone in — or asked them to come out — but I didn’t. I didn’t really mind playing alone. After all, if I wanted to talk to someone I could always talk to Veronica, or write to Henry.
Instead, I got on the long, old-fashioned swing — it went up really high.
I was swinging my hardest, singing loudly. (The night before, Veronica had taken me — only me — to a village sing; I was singing an English song I’d learned there called “Green Grow the Rushes, O!” When no one can hear me, I like to sing.) I was seeing if I could get high enough to touch a branch on the next tree with my toe when I heard Veronica calling me.
“Green Grow the Rushes, 0!” is fun to sing — almost like a game. The leader sings:
“I’ll sing you a one-o, green grow the rushes, o!”
Then everyone else sings:
“What is your one-o?”
The leader sings back:
“One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so.
I’ll sing you a two-o, green grow the rushes, o!”
“What is your two-o?”
“Two, two the lily white boys, clothed all in green-o,
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so!”
(It goes up to twelve.)
I dragged my feet on the ground to stop the swing — in America when we did that we always used to say, “Let the old cat die!” (I don’t know why) — and ran in.
“My parents are coming back early,” she said. “They’ll be here late tonight.”
“I thought they were going to be gone for the whole time,” I said.
“They were.”
It IS kind of fun to be at home without any grown-ups. It was odd; at Sibton Park Veronica had seemed grown up, but here she seemed more like our American teenage baby-sitters, only I liked her even more than I liked them.
“Well!” Veronica said very briskly. “Let’s see what sort of state your rooms are in.”
To make a hospital corner, you pull the sheet out, then tuck in the bottom part. Then you pull the top, folding it in a sort of triangle, and tuck it in very tightly and tidily.
“I’ll help you tidy up!” I said, and I did.
The most interesting part was putting clean sheets on her parents’ bed. She showed me how to make real hospital corners, and the sheets smelled exactly like the sunny lavender on the walk to church. When I said so, Veronica said, “It is that lavender. Mummy dries it and puts it in the linen cupboard.”
That was the only thing she said about her parents.
When I came into the dining room the next morning, Veronica’s mother, a faded gray woman — her face was pale and her hair was pale and kind of messy — was sitting at one end of the table. Barny, Willy, Bubby, Emmy, and Veronica were at the other.
I thought the politest thing to do would be to sit next to Veronica’s mother, so I did. I smiled politely, too, and waited for her to say something.
She looked around, in a bewildered sort of way.
“MUST we have the bottle on the table?” she said. (This was a large milk bottle at the children’s end of the table.) “It looks so …”
She stopped talking and waved her hand kind of helplessly, as though she couldn’t think of a word. At home we never had the bottle on the table, either — my mother always put the milk into a pitcher. I started to say that, but then I thought that would make it seem WORSE that we had done it here; so I looked at the floor (big black and white tiles — I liked them) and then out the windows. The dining room had long windows opening onto the lawn.
I wondered if Veronica’s mother liked us being there. Veronica didn’t say anything: She just picked up the milk bottle, carried it into the kitchen, and came back with a pitcher. She didn’t say a word.
I was making my bed, with hospital corners, when I heard a scream from the next room, Emmy and Bubby’s room.
I ran in. Veronica’s mother was standing in front of an open drawer, and in the drawer, squawking and flapping its wings, was — a chicken!
It looked so ridiculous, and Veronica’s mother looked so astonished, that I laughed. But then, when I saw the mother’s face closer up, I stopped quickly.
“Don’t be afraid,” I said in what I hoped was a calming English voice. “It’s only a chicken. My sisters must have put it there — they’re mad about all animals, even chickens. They’re young and not very sensible yet.”
Veronica’s mother nodded and then sat down on the bed, suddenly.
I looked in the drawer: There was some chicken feed sprinkled on the bottom and a bowl with a little water left in it. The rest of the water had spilled: You could see a big wet spot on the paper. It WAS the kind of thing, exactly the kind of thing, that Emmy and Bubby would have done.
Veronica came running in, and her mother said, sounding VERY angry, “Veronica, those children have put a HEN in a drawer! This is really —”
Veronica grabbed the hen and shoved it at me. “Libby, take this back to the chicken yard.”
I took it in both hands, holding my arms out straight in front of me to keep it as far away from me as I could. The feathers felt slightly greasy, and under THEM it was warm and wriggling; and (worst of all) solid and squishy at the same time. It also smelled horrible.
I turned my face away from it, but no matter what I did, I could feel it wriggling hotly under my hands. It was heavy, too.
I wasn’t listening, but I couldn’t help hearing Veronica say, “But, Mummy!”
Then her mother (who had a very quiet voice, even when she was angry) said something and Veronica said, “I think they’ve done him a lot of good!”
Her mother must have said something about our influence on Barny.
I got to the chicken yard and sort of threw the chicken over the gate. It flapped its wings as it landed, but didn’t really fly.
Emmy and Bubby came running up.
“Did you put that hen in the drawer?”
Emmy nodded.
“What on Earth did you do that for?” I said.
Emmy and Bubby giggled, and I realized I DID sound sort of too English — like a schoolmistress! I hadn’t been trying to sound English; when I first went to Sibton Park, I did try with my accent — very hard; but now, I didn’t have to try. I just sounded English.
But I really was curious.
“Why?” I said. “Why did you do it?”
“I thought it would be nice for Philip to have another bird’s company,” Emmy said. “Someone to talk to.”
Of all the idiotic reasons!
“Couldn’t you just have brought HIS cage out here?”
“I didn’t think of that.”
Then Bubby said something in their chicken language, and they went on with their game, whatever it was.
I went back inside and found Veronica.
“Was your mother VERY cross about the hen?”
“More startled,” Veronica said. “She’s not used to American children. How would you like to go to the seaside today?”
American children! As though we were worse than other kinds! And her mother DIDN’T like having us there.
I decided that when I grew up, I’d never make guests feel unwelcome, even if they were — especially if the guests were children from another country.
But Veronica liked us, especially me. She had stuck up for us, too.
“That sounds fun,” I said, trying to sound like it would be.
I knew what the English beach was like: cold, with gray, not blue, water and tiny waves. Instead of sand there were little pebbles — but still, it was the ocean!
When we got there, Veronica told us that waves with white curling tops are called “prancing ponies.” Emmy and Bubby loved that.
They ran up to the little waves holding hands and then, shrieking and giggling, ran away from them. I was about to dive in (I love to swim) when Veronica said, “Oh, look! A wishing pebble!”
She picked up a pure white — almost transparent — pebble.
“When I was a child, we believed that you could make wishes on white stones.”
“One wish for each stone?”
She nodded.
“You throw the stone into the sea and make a wish.”
I decided to find a white stone and wish to go back to America. In Cornwall, my father had talked a lot about how much he loved London and what a “great life” it was for them and for another American couple they knew. My mother didn’t say anything until he used this couple as an example. Then she said: “Yes, it’s a great life for Helen — lugging the coal scuttle up from the basement!”
It sounded as though she didn’t want to stay, either, but I was still worried. I liked Veronica, and lots of things in England were interesting and fun, but I didn’t belong here.
So, I looked for white pebbles. The sun came out for a minute, and the pebbles all shone — there seemed to be quite a lot of almost white ones. The others were holding hands and trying to jump over the waves, but I kept looking for white pebbles.
I found one and ran to the water. I faced west, where America was, thinking of a long, straight line, with me at one end and America at the other. Then I threw the stone into the gray water, straight towards America, towards Henry and home, and wished.