5
JASMINE
I laid my head on my bed and thought back to how I had gotten myself to where I was. And to be honest, I wasn’t sure where I was, but for the first time in my life, I felt good about myself. It’s funny how life can sometimes throw you a curve ball that seems unhittable, but somehow, some way, you rear back and take a swing at it and knock the ball beyond the fence.
My life had been turned completely upside down over the last week, and that was a good thing. I went from being just another dirty, hungry little girl in the Bluff to looking like a million bucks. For the first time in my life, I liked me. I liked who I saw staring back at me in the mirror, and even though I knew that when things seemed too good to be true, more than likely the bottom would eventually fall out, I was willing to take that chance, and it all started because my mother’s boyfriend was trying to get himself stabbed. I thought back to how it all got started.
I had to pull a knife on Sophia’s pedophile boyfriend because he kept crossing the line with me. For the life of me, I can’t understand how some women will choose the companionship of some sorry dude over the safety of their own child. I was going to go over to my grandmother’s house, but my uncle Moochie was staying over there and he was crazy. The man was forty-three years old and still trying to be a rapper. All he did every day was sit in front of the television watching bootlegged DVDs, drink his beer, and write raps in his notepad. He was annoying as anybody could ever be, so going over there was not looking like a good option for me. Plus Granny’s house reeked of urine. My grandmother was only sixty-seven years old, but she had kidney problems and had problems controlling her bladder, so the doctor had her wear adult diapers. But Uncle Moochie didn’t change the things like he should, so she sat around all day smelling like crap. Granny was a big woman and I knew I couldn’t lift her, so I would either have to put up with the smell or stay fighting with Uncle Moochie as I tried to get him to change her. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Granny’s house would only be used as a last resort.
These thoughts were racking my brain as I stood there going back and forth with my mother.
“You better tell your man to keep his eyes in his head and off of me,” I said as I walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a paper-thin towel that had seen better days.
“Oh hush, Jasmine,” Sophia said, fanning me away as if I was a nuisance. “Otis ain’t paying you no kind of attention, girl. What the heck he wanna look at you for? He has a woman right here. A real woman. Not some bigmouth lil girl who think she’s grown. Get over yourself.”
“I don’t know what he wants to look at me for, but he knew I was in the shower and he walked in there anyway. Then he pulled the shower curtain back,” I said. “I guess he’s deaf and just didn’t hear the shower running.”
“Stop lying,” Sophia shouted. “ You just close your lying mouth, girl.”
“I don’t have to lie on that old ugly bastard,” I said as I felt myself become livid with disgust.
“Otis a good man, and you’re just trying to mess things up for me. You’re so selfish that you just can’t stand to see me happy.”
“Happy? Yeah, okay,” I said, shaking my head at this entire scene. “You go on and be happy, but if he tries that mess again, I’m gonna make him wish he made a better choice.”
She stood there staring at me as if I were the world’s biggest liar.
“Just tell him to stay out of the bathroom when I’m in there,” I said as I walked back to my bedroom.
“You don’t have any rooms around here. This my house,” she said, and placed a hand on her bony hip.
I stopped and turned around and stared at the woman who I used to call my mother. “I don’t even know why I’m talking to you. You care more about your liquor and that sorry waste of human life that you call your man, than you do your own kids.”
“Kids? I got one kid. I got three wannabe grown-ups, so I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nicole don’t come around, you know everything and half of what you think you know is a lie, and your brother wanna be a criminal. So far as I’m concerned, I don’t have to worry ’bout nobody but Devin.”
“You’re pathetic,” I said. “And I don’t blame Nicole. Who would want to stay around you if they had someplace else to go?”
“Well, why don’t you find someplace else to go?” she said, and turned on her heels and walked back to her room.
“I will, and I’ll make sure to call down to the welfare office and tell them that I don’t live here anymore. And I’ll tell them that DeMarco hasn’t been here either. Let’s see how you get your money for your liquor then.”
The threat to her liquor sent her into a rage. She turned around and ran at me as if she were going to attack me. But she knew better. The mother-daughter dynamic had changed years ago. We merely existed in the same house. I hated her and she hated me.
“You better keep them white folks out of my business, girl. Because if I get one visit, I swear before God that you will wish you never knew how to pick up a phone. And you can take that to the bank.”
“You don’t scare me,” I said as I walked up to her. I towered over her, and for the first time in my life I saw some fear in my mother’s face. “You keep your filthy, disgusting-looking man out of my face and out of the bathroom while I’m in there. If he says one more word to me, I’m calling the cops on him and you. Now you take that to the bank.”
“Oh, so you think you bad now, huh?” she said as she looked up at me. “Okay. Well, there is only one bad mamma jamma in this place, and that’s me. So get your crap and hit the road.”
“Nah,” Otis said, as he walked in with a smile on his face. “Let her stay here. She’s just a teenager. Leave her alone.”
I stared back at him and he gave me a wink. I calmly walked past him and into the kitchen. I went over to the utensil drawer and pulled out a steak knife. I turned around and walked up to him.
“Whatchu gonna do with that?” he said with a smile.
“If you ever say one more word to me, I’m going to put this in your eyes.”
“Okay,” he said with a smile. “I love you too, Jasmine.”
“I will end your days right now if you ever think about putting your filthy hands on me. Do you hear me?”
“I hear ya, baby,” Otis said as if this whole conversation was amusing him.
I wanted to stab that man right in his ugly face, but he wasn’t worth me going to jail.
“Get out,” Sophia said. “Get your stuff and get out.”
I kept my eyes on Otis. He was ugly; black as a car tire, raggedy beard, and hair that hadn’t been groomed in ages. Then he had the audacity to be short. He wasn’t even five-feet-three-inches tall. I couldn’t stand the sight of him or my so-called mother, so I lowered the knife and backed away from the two nutcases.
I went to my room, gathered me a few items, and threw them in my big Nike gym bag. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I knew staying with Sophia, the alcoholic, and her pedophile boyfriend was no longer an option.
Once I had my things in my bag, I walked out into the living room and saw my little brother, Devin. He was sitting on the dirty floor watching the old raggedy television set. I leaned down and picked him up.
“Hey, buddy,” I said as I wiped away the tears from my eyes. I hated to leave him with this poor excuse for a mother, but I was going to have my hands full making my own way. I couldn’t imagine trying to take care of a rambunctious three-year-old.
“Where you going?” Devin asked me as he looked at my gym bag, which was busting at the seams.
“I’m not sure,” I said. “Maybe over to a friend’s for a few days. I don’t know.”
“Can I go?” he asked.
“No, but I will come back over and check on you tomorrow,” I said.
He turned his little lips upside down and folded his arms in protest to my answer. He knew who fed, clothed, and bathed him, and it wasn’t Sophia.
“I’ll be back over here tomorrow,” I said as I looked at Sophia’s closed bedroom door.
“I’m hungry,” he said.
“No, you’re not,” I said. “I just got you something to eat thirty minutes ago.”
“Uh-huh,” he said, nodding his head. “I am.”
I sat him back down on the floor. “Don’t fall asleep on that floor. Get on the sofa.”
“Okay,” he said.
I shook the thoughts from my head, grabbed my bag and walked out of the house. I stood on the front steps, trying to decide what I was going to do. That’s when Kecia, Tiny, and Shemika pulled up in a brand-new, pearl-white Cadillac Escalade.
“What’s up, Jaz?” Kecia said. “You wanna roll with us? We ’bout to go have some fun.”
I stood there thinking of my options. Grandma’s house wasn’t very appealing, and living with my mother was even less. I could deal with the drinking, the cursing, the filthy apartment, but I drew the line when she called me a liar in favor of her sorry excuse for a man. I had already started staying away from the apartment more and more, and when I was there, I placed a chair on my door handle to reinforce the lock at night just to feel safe.
“Whatcha gonna do, girl? We ain’t got all night,” Kecia said. “And what’s up with the gym bag?”
I didn’t even need to respond. I just frowned and jerked my hand toward my house, and she immediately knew why I was out there.
“Come on and roll with us,” Kecia said excitedly as she bounced behind the wheel of the brand-new car.
Kecia Harrison was my friend since we were knee-high to a mosquito. We met back when we were four or five years old, running around playing hopscotch in the streets. She always was treated with disdain by the other ghetto children, who couldn’t wait to take out their life’s frustrations on another poor soul. Kecia was an easy target because she was super skinny, and even at a young age had bad skin. Needless to say, her self-esteem was pretty low. Now, at sixteen, she was still skin and bones and her acne had somehow gotten worse. She was exactly the type of person Tiny needed in her crew.
Tiny Atkins was one of the smartest people I had ever known when it came to the street life. Had she been born to wealthy parents she might’ve ended up at Princeton or Yale, but she was hood and would more likely end up in Metro State Prison for Women. The girl was a criminal if I ever saw one. She stood about five-feet-eight-inches tall and had more curves than a California freeway. And even though she was only sixteen years old, she was a seasoned pro at hustling men three times her age. It didn’t hurt that she looked to be in her early twenties. She was an opportunist who never met a person she couldn’t find a way to take advantage of. I never liked her, but she always seemed to be up in my face, smiling and trying to figure me out.
Shemika was the enforcer of the crew. She was big, quiet, and possessed a heart that was so cold it could freeze fire. I liked her a lot because I saw right through her tough exterior. Beneath it all was a girl who would give you the shirt off her back. She was also gay as a bird.
“Give me a second,” I said and turned around and walked back into the apartment to grab my book bag. I don’t know why I didn’t tell them to keep driving or even why they would assume I would go with them, since I ignored them seven days a week. But there was something weird about the way the night was shaking up. I needed to get away and they were offering me what I needed.
“Where you headed with that bag, girl?” Kecia said as she popped the locks to the door. I pulled on the handle and got in behind her and threw my bags into the cargo area of the truck.
“I don’t know. I can’t stay with that woman anymore. She’s ridiculous,” I said.
“So where are you going to stay?” Kecia asked.
“Probably my grandma’s house,” I said. “I don’t have much of a choice. Where y’all going?”
“We’re going to see a man about a mule,” Tiny said as she stared at her flawless MAC makeup in the lighted mirror of the passenger seat.
“Never have to worry about getting a straight answer from you,” I said as I slipped my seat belt around me.
“Awww,” Tiny said with a laugh. “Mrs. Goody Two-shoes buckling up.”
I ignored her and turned to my backseat mate. “How you doing, Shemika?”
“I’m straight,” the big girl said. “What’s up with you?”
“Drama,” I said. “But I’m done with that. It’s time to move on.”
“We’re going to make a little money,” Kecia said. “You down?”
“Depends,” I said.
“It’s all aboveboard,” Kecia said. “Just gonna meet up with some guys and hang out.”
“And they pay you to hang out at ten o’clock at night?” I asked.
“Listen,” Tiny said, slapping the mirror closed. “You wanna go or not?”
“How about not,” I snapped. “Pull over.”
“Nah,” Kecia said, never taking her foot off the gas pedal. “Trust me, you wanna go here.”
Tiny turned around and stared at me as if she was trying to send a message that she was in charge.
“Whatchu looking at?” I barked. I never liked the girl and I was sure the feeling was mutual.
She rolled her eyes and snickered before turning back around.
“That’s a smart move. Turn your butt around and stay out of my face before I fix that makeup,” I said.
“Wake up,” Tiny said.
“If you say one more word to me, I swear I’ma snatch that weave out of your head and beat you like you stole something.”
“Chill out,” Shemika said, calmly playing her role as Tiny’s bodyguard. “Ain’t gonna be no fighting up in here.”
“Stevie Nichols is having a party,” Kecia said, changing the subject. “Speak of the devil.”
Kecia turned up the radio and bobbed her head to the hottest rapper alive. Stevie Nichols’s voice was coming through the truck’s top-notch speakers, singing the song that had the streets rocking.
Swagged up from the floor up, Patrón got me tore up. Chasing checks and sex. I swear I need to grow up. Money’s on my mind, I’m in constant grind. And my Rolly say it’s Polo time.
“He’s got a lil thing for Tiny, so we going along for the ride,” she said as she turned the radio down a little.
“The real Stevie Nichols? The rapper?” I asked, excited.
“Yeah, girl,” she said, smiling. “The one and only. So you know the place gonna be packed with big ballers and them pockets gonna be faaaattttt.”
I felt myself growing excited just at the thought of meeting the hottest rapper in America right now. His debut CD was already double platinum, and you couldn’t turn on the radio or television without hearing him or seeing him.
We were on highway I-20 West for about ten minutes when we came upon Six Flags amusement park. Kecia slowed down and we got off on the Thornton Road exit. We made a right and then a quick left until we were on a dark, two-lane road. A few minutes later we came to a driveway with lights flashing, and I could hear the music from where we were. There were two guys standing by a large gate wearing headsets and fluorescent vests. They were waving little flashlights. Kecia turned into the driveway and stopped. She pushed the button to let the window down.
“Name,” one of the men said as he walked up to the driver side.
“I’m Tiny. Stevie Nichols’s special guest,” Tiny said proudly as she leaned over Kecia.
“Tiny,” the guy said, as he looked down at a clipboard that he held with one hand. “Tiny what?”
“Just Tiny,” she said, then sat back in her seat.
“Yeah. You’re good. Y’all look a lil young,” the guy said, shining his light into the vehicle.
“Looks can be deceiving,” Tiny said.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” the security guy said with a stern look.
“So can we go in or not?” Kecia asked.
“Yeah,” he said reluctantly. “You young ladies go on and have a good time. No alcohol.”
Tiny rolled her eyes again and motioned for Kecia to drive away.
“I’m glad he didn’t ask for IDs,” Shemika said. “We’d be jacked up.”
“No. He would be jacked up because I would’ve called Stevie and his butt would be looking for a new job,” Tiny said, feeling herself a little too much.
We pulled up to a very large house. I don’t even think I had seen anything like this on MTV Cribs. And people were everywhere.
“They shooting a video or something?” Shemika asked.
“Nah,” Tiny said as if she was in the in-crowd. “It’s just a party. This is how Stevie Nichols do it. This is an every-night thing. Believe that.”
The long, curvy driveway was filled with luxury cars. We parked behind a white Bentley with a young guy sitting on the hood talking on a cell phone.
We walked up about twenty steps to the front door of the mansion and walked in. We went straight through the foyer and living room, then outside to the back where there were at least four hundred people dancing in bathing suits—or less.
Stevie Nichols had to be at least twenty-eight, maybe even thirty years old, and I couldn’t help but wonder why he would invite a bunch of underage girls to his party. He was standing by the pool wearing a pair of white shorts, a white tank top, some white Air Max 95s, a white hat, and some dark shades that were also trimmed in white. He was shorter than he appeared on television, but I didn’t care. He was Stevie Nichols. His neck and wrists were covered with platinum jewelry, which contrasted nicely against his pecan-tan complexion. He looked our way, did a double take, then walked over and stood before us. I couldn’t believe the guy who I watched on television and heard on the radio was standing right in front of me.
“Baby gurl,” he said to Tiny, showing a mouthful of diamond and platinum teeth. He gave her a hug and stared me up and down over her shoulder while he held her close. “You done made my night,” he said while his eyes were roaming my body.
“Nah,” Tiny said. “You made my night.”
“Who is this long, tall drink of water?” Stevie Nichols asked as he pulled away. “Introduce me.”
“That’s ole lame Jasmine. We decided to let her roll with the Divas to see how we do things,” Tiny said, smiling like a Cheshire cat.
“Welcome to the party, Jasmine,” he said and reached out his hand for mine.
I shook his hand and he held on to mine a little too long for my taste. I pulled back and he smiled as if to say he could have me if he wanted me. He was wrong. I wasn’t interested in being one of his groupies. I already wanted to leave. There was something about older guys looking at me like I was a piece of meat that turned my stomach.
“Y’all make ya selves at home,” he said, then whispered something into Tiny’s ear. She nodded and smiled.
“Time to work,” Tiny said, turning to us. “These dudes are drunk and most of them got plenty of cash in their pockets. Let’s make sure we leave here with it in ours.”
“Jasmine,” she said to me, “Stevie said he has a job for you. Take it. He pays well. You don’t have a place to stay, so save the stuck-up act. Get that money.”