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Lincoln
The moment Kate opened the door, I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t have imagined this. Kate’s in my arms crying, and my daughter’s sobs carry through the apartment as she finds Jake.
Their pain is mine, and I’m helpless. Instead of saying something, I hold Kate and rub a hand down her back. Not that I can offer anything helpful. She lost her sister. Jake lost his parents. How could this happen?
This family doesn’t deserve this kind of suffering, and there’s nothing I can do to take it away. Kate’s cries calm, and she shifts away from my hold. I touch her face and use my thumbs to wipe the tears away.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her and I can’t look away from her wide, saddened green eyes. They’re searching me for something, and whatever it is, I hope she finds it there. I press a strand of her hair back and tuck it behind her ear. Unable to find words to comfort her, I kiss her forehead. “I’m here if you need me.”
She watches me from below her lashes and nods. If she needs me, I want to be there for her.
“I need to be strong for Jake,” Kate tells me. She has the weight of the world on her shoulders, needing to be strong for her nephew. With his parents gone at such a young age, what will happen to him? I keep my question to myself and instead give Kate as much support as I can.
“And you will be,” I affirm her statement, and she nods in understanding. She turns and walks down the hall toward the bedroom I watched my daughter walk into earlier. Kate stands outside the door, leaning against the jamb. I come up to stand behind her and glance into the room over her shoulder.
Lily’s tear-streaked face tilts down as she holds Jake’s head in her lap. His eyes are distant as he lies there, staring at the blank wall. Jake doesn’t seem aware we are here. I walk around Kate and step into the room then kneel in front of Jake’s face. I grab his hand and squeeze it in mine. He looks into my eyes, and I sense that pain in him. I’m staring at Julie’s eyes, eyes I’ll only see in him and Kate now.
No words I can say are enough, so I say nothing. I stand after a few moments and walk back to Kate and have her join me in the kitchen by tugging on her wrist. I pull out the breakfast we brought and hand her a chai latte made the way she likes it. Kate takes it with a small, sad smile.
“Thank you,” she whispers, and that sadness seeps through her. I place a hand on her shoulder and squeeze.
“It’s no problem. Lily suggested it. I hope you don’t mind us stopping by like this.” The plan seemed like a good idea when Lily mentioned it.
“I don’t mind. Sorry, we are both a mess today. I can’t wrap my head around everything yet, and he’s broken in there. I have to be strong for him. That’s what I keep telling myself, but honestly, I have no fucking idea what to do,” she admits then glances down at her breakfast. Kate takes a bite of her chocolate chip muffin and is lost in a memory, likely one of her sister.
“There isn’t anywhere else Lily would rather be right now.” And nowhere else I’d rather be but I don’t tell Kate that because as potent as my desire for this woman is, it’s new. We are getting to know one another and fighting the fact we are coworkers. Now throwing in such a painful loss, I won’t try to be anything but a friend to her. She needs all the support she can get.
“I’m sure he needs her too. Wonder if we can get them to come and eat breakfast.” She glances up and looks toward the closed bedroom door.
“I’ll go see.” I have Kate return to eating, and I walk down the hall to Jake’s room. He hasn’t moved, neither has Lily. “Jake, why don’t you come and have breakfast, please?”
He’s always been a good kid and usually listens without questioning. There’s a moment of hesitation this time, but he gives in and sits up. His long brown hair is a mess as he pushes it back and his eyes are still hollow.
No words slip from his lips as he walks toward the kitchen. I grab my daughter around the shoulders, pulling her close to my side as we step from the bedroom. “Are you doing okay, L?”
“I can’t believe this has happened. What can I do for him?”
“Be there, it’s all we can do.” We gather around the table and eat breakfast together. I miss the way the four of us were yesterday while together. Kate has been this spark of happiness in the time we spend together. It’s absent now, and I want to bring it back as she did for me.
Jake is quiet and distant. Kate looks lost with too much in her head. Lily’s struggling between the two, probably trying to decipher what she could say. So, I sit here and try to figure out what to say to help them forget for a bit. Nothing comes to mind and that’s the problem. I’m not sure where to begin to ease their minds, if it’s even possible. I’ve only felt this worthless once before when Lily had her accident.
“Thanks for visiting and bringing us breakfast today. It was nice,” Kate says and peeks at Jake, likely hoping he’ll have something to add to the conversation. He hasn’t spoken a single word since we walked in. Not for the lack of my daughter trying.
He doesn’t respond, so Lily steps in. “It’s no problem. We had fun yesterday and thought it would be nice to hang out again.”
Before I add more, a knock sounds at the front door. A wave of unease crosses Kate’s face, but she gets up and answers the door.
A commotion sounds in the entryway as a woman steps inside, the luggage trailing behind her. “Goodness, Kathleen, you need to be responsible and pick up your phone, so you know when I’m arriving.” I can’t see the older woman yet but when I glance at Lily, her face is tight, and she mouths the word grandmother.
Kate’s mother is here, and from the looks of it, she’s not always welcomed or nice. I recall a conversation I had with Kate in my office then remember her mother never supported her life decisions. She’s told her to be responsible, and they haven’t embraced one another during this trying time.
“Sorry, Mother, it must be on silent,” Kate mutters and joins us in the kitchen again. Her mom walks in behind her and hugs her grandson in a detached, clinical way.
“Hey, honey. I’m here now, so everything will be okay.”
I think Kate’s handling it well. I open my mouth to defend her when Kate rests her hand on my arm and shakes her head no. She’s aware of her mother’s underhanded remarks.
Jake doesn’t respond but pats his grandmother on the arm. Kate’s mother’s attention turns toward me next and sees the way her daughter’s hand rests on my forearm.
“Who are you?” she asks and I see a flash of Julie standing before me twenty years later—minus the attitude and air of entitlement.
I hold back another remark and instead rise from the table and extend my hand, hoping to keep the woman calm for Kate. “I’m Lincoln, and this is my daughter, Lily.”
She doesn’t take my extended hand but instead shares an expression with me. Annoyance is there alongside detachment. “We have family matters to discuss, so I need to ask you to leave.”
“Mother!” Kate yells, outraged by her mother’s harsh words to me and my daughter. “How dare you kick out my guests in my home.”
Jake rises from the table, slamming down his cup, and Lily jumps up to rush after him.
“Well, we do and having your current”—she glances my way again—“man here is unnecessary.”
“Lily’s Jake’s best friend, but we’ll head out.” I say it as calmly as possible. The way her mother disrespected Kate has me wanting to stand between them. I want to block every glare and hurtful word this woman could toss Kate’s direction.
Lily walks from Jake’s room and comes back to stand next to me. The tears are close to falling, and it pushes Kate’s anger further. She opens her mouth to say something to her mom.
I step in instead. “Hey, we’ll go.”
Kate grabs my arm and gives me a look that’s begging me to stay. Fuck, this woman has me, and it kills me to see her in so much pain. “I’ll give you my number. Call me if you need anything, and we’ll be here for you.”
She nods and walks us to the door while her mother moves around the kitchen behind us. “I’m sorry,” Kate whispers when we reach the front door.
I want to wrap her in a hug and take a formidable stance between both women, but I know there are things they need to work out too. “We are a phone call away, okay? Call if you need something.” I have a business card in my pocket, and I pass it over. “And I’m serious, call. I don’t care what it’s for or what time it is.”
“Thank you, both of you, for coming over and bringing us breakfast.”
“Bye, Aunt Kate.” Lily wraps her arms around Kate, and then we head out. I’m reluctant to leave Kate alone with her mother.