Chapter Thirty-Two

Sam

 

Seeing Kate had upset the apple cart.

I texted her to ask if she arrived home safely.

The word yes was the only reply.

It hurt and pissed me off when Kate rejected me…but she was right.

I’ve always done the right thing. Eagle Scout, valedictorian, passed the Bar Exam on my first try… Mom and Dad raised me to have good manners and a good moral fiber.

The only time I’d ever acted just for myself was with Kate.

Mandy was the type of woman that changed after you married her because she’d closed the deal. She was only my second relationship. I had a casual college girlfriend freshman year, then no longer had time. Getting my degree was my top priority, then working at the firm.

I never would’ve dated or married Mandy if we hadn’t met there. She wasn’t the type of girl I sought out. But, she was easy to talk with and knew how to flatter my ego in the right ways and so… Here we were.

I had loved her. Her betrayal wouldn’t enrage me so much if I didn’t.

I was grateful for my children. They were the best part of my life.

I wouldn’t say I settled with whom to marry, but I settled in my marriage.

Like most men, I liked sex. A little spice in the bedroom. Mandy preferred missionary and was always quiet. Except when we were trying for Candace, Mandy only gave it up on date night and my birthday, and I let it be that way.

People have different appetites, right?

So as long as my marriage was working otherwise, I just rubbed one out in the shower instead of undressing my wife. We were fine.

Jordan was a surprise and Mandy didn’t want to be pregnant again. I’m damn lucky she wasn’t the type to make that go away. She had all-day morning sickness half the pregnancy and cursed me every time she threw up.

The last time we had sex was when she was three months along. We’d been intimate while she carried Candace until month seven, but they say every pregnancy is different and I figured it was the hormones.

Jordan was a super fast labor, maybe to make up for giving his mom a small bit of hell, and I thought things would get better then.

What I initially thought was post-partum depression turned out to be Mandy’s affair. She’d been done with me a long time—it just took her a while to act on it.

Find the next sucker.

As far as divorces go, it was probably the easiest negotiation ever. I filed the papers the Monday after the reunion. California mandated a six-month waiting period before a judge signed the divorce as final, so we were still legally attached until December, but it came as no surprise when Mandy and the doc moved to a wealthier part of the county by end of summer.

When Mom needed computer help, I got Kate’s email address.

I wrote to her, but something stopped me from hitting send…

Yet I kept writing, and it became like a journal. My intrigue with her that wouldn’t go away, the trials of learning to be a single father, my setbacks and successes with cases—all of it.

My therapy.

I talked to her like I would if she was here, and it was safe and freeing at the same time.

She was the total opposite of Mandy—flawed, layered, and real.

The one thing I couldn’t do was keep playing her record for Jordan. Hearing her beautiful voice was too painful. Had to shift him to a lullaby album and I think he hated me a while until he got used it.

Only months out from that weekend could I see she was right—I needed to focus on my kids, and heal. It took a long time before the mere mention or suggestion of Mandy didn’t raise my blood pressure. Would take longer to forgive her for abandoning her children, but one day I realized I was past what she’d done to me.

It helped to know she wasn’t the love of my life.

That wasn’t clear until Kate—not that I’m saying she would be, either, but I had to be shaken before I could put my feelings in perspective.

I wished Kate would at least let me thank her for that.

She was the best friend I’d ever had, even when I didn’t deserve it.