Chapter Fourteen

Kate

 

I woke from dreamless sleep and rolled over. Why am I naked?

Then my swollen parts reminded me of last night.

I stretched and my thighs ached.

My room was dark and the bed empty.

Did Sam leave while I slept? If he did, how did he lock the front door?

I sat up.

I felt tender. Ice might even be a good idea.

Tried to stand and my legs wobbled. Geeze. Thank goodness he wasn’t seeing me now. I looked like a newborn deer learning how to walk.

Making it to the closet, I slipped a robe on.

When I opened the door, I was embraced by the scent of pancakes.

Who was cooking in the kitchen?

But first I really needed to pee.

Which stung certain fleshy bits, so ice was looking like a better idea.

Glanced in the mirror and whoa. I’d slept without cleaning my face or brushing my teeth and it showed. Whoever was in the kitchen was not seeing me until I was human again. Became minty fresh, dabbed on anti-puff cream on clean eyelids, and brushed the rat’s nest out of my hair. I needed a shower if I left the apartment today, but it could wait.

I needed to know who was in my kitchen.

Eased the bathroom door open and peeked out. No one visible through the crack. Come on, woman, are you going to sneak around your own house? No.

I was not.

Set my shoulders back and walked out of the hall.

Then saw a sight that turned my traitorous heart to goo.

Sam.

Hair sticking up in random directions, in an undershirt and pants. His shirt was on one of the hooks by the door above his shoes on the floor. He stood at my stove.

“It smells like you know how to make pancakes.”

His back muscles twitched at the sound of my voice. I’d startled him. “Mom taught me a lot of things.” He turned holding a plate with a short stack. “Did I wake you?”

“No.”

“Cute robe. Sit.” As I shifted to the sofa, he set the plate on the coffee table.

The robe was fluffy, the softest thing ever, warm, and pastel blue. I bought it out of the mature ladies’ section and didn’t care.

“Thanks.” I sat down not quite gingerly enough and winced.

“Sore?”

“A little.”

“Well, now you’re up…” He pointed a thumb at the door.

“Do you have an appointment?” I picked up the plate and fork.

“No.”

“Then don’t run off.” I tried a bite. Butter and syrup, mmm. And still hot. “These are good.”

“Thanks.” He rubbed his hands on his pants.

Then returned to the stove.

“I don’t know when I last slept that well.”

“Christmas Eve.”

The last night we slept together. When I told him to make love to me.

“Nah, we were up too early.”

He flipped a pancake with my spatula. “You slept in my arms. I watched you sleep before I drifted off. I remember thinking my ex never looked that content.”

Geeze. “Good sex will do that,” I joked.

Truth is, I woke up that morning feeling more rested than I should. A feeling of being happy and sated. It freaked me out. If he’d had an arm around me, I don’t know what I would’ve done. It had been years since I last fell asleep next to a man after sex.

But now I was glad he didn’t slip out without a word.

I needed us to be okay.

A stack on another plate, he picked it up and turned to me. “I was thinking I might try to fly home early.”

“What?” After last night?

He shifted his gaze away. “Kate—”

“What happened to everything you said?”

He sighed. “My feelings haven’t changed.”

“Then why are you bailing?”

“You’re unbelievable.”

He dropped the plate on the table and made for his shoes.

“Sam—”

“This from the woman that’s been saying this is impossible from day one?”

“Maybe I don’t want to be right!”

Shit.

I didn’t mean to blurt that out, but it was honest.

He’d frozen in place, except he was breathing hard.

Slowly, he pivoted on one heel so I saw his face in profile.

His eyes met mine for the first time this morning. “Don’t play with me, Kate.”

I shook my head.

He nodded. The fight left him.

He returned to his breakfast and sat at the other end of the sofa with the plate.

Okay, then.

We chewed in silence.

Until his inquisitive brain couldn’t stay quiet. “What did you mean?” he murmured.

Give him the honesty he deserves.

“I want you no matter how much sense it doesn’t make and that scares me.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“Sam, you already did before.”

“I was an idiot kid. Now is different!”

Time for more honesty.

“You won’t mean to. None of it happening with bad intentions, but I’m old enough to know relationships only really work when people see each other commonly and often. Proximity matters. We’d start well, then real life would invade the distance. We’ll struggle with synching schedules because of the time difference or you’ll get swamped with a big case or something will come up with the kids. We’ll miss phone dates and then it’ll become easier to miss more dates. Eventually we’ll agree this isn’t working and everyone’s sad.”

“Or one of us moves,” he insisted.

Come on. “Which means me. I start my life over with the hope you’ll make it worth my while and won’t disappoint me.”

“Why would I disappoint you?”

I shrugged. “Maybe the idea of dating me doesn’t match up to reality. Maybe we learn things about each other that annoy us and not in the cute way. Maybe I struggle to find work and end up resenting you when you try to fix it. If we break up, I could be stuck in a place I don’t want to be. I can’t avoid risk in a move across the country.”

“Do you want a contract, Kate?”

I looked at him with wide eyes. “What?”

His were dead serious. “Will a contract allay your fears?”

“What kind of contract?”

“Something like…if you move to California, we try a relationship, and it ends, I would cover your moving costs to return here or go anywhere else you wanted. You wouldn’t be stuck.”

“You’d write up something like that?”

“A contract is a paper agreement between two parties. As long as we’re not agreeing to an illegal act, it can say anything we want.”

“Like a prenup.”

His head wobbled side to side. “Yeah…excluding the nuptial part.”

Definitely.

He moved closer. “I can’t do half-in half-out. It’s not fair to me.”

“I know. If you recall, counselor, I tried to stop this before feelings got involved to protect you.”

“Except feelings were involved the moment you showed up to the reunion.”

My gaze dropped to my lap. “True.”

“So what will it be, Miss Carson. Are you in? Or are you out?”

“Now?” My heart started galloping.

Sam just stared at me.

Guess I owe him. “I will give you my answer before you leave Nashville. I promise.”

“I’ll get you the first draft of the contract later today.”

That fast, huh? “Okay.”

Pancakes were now cold. I carried my plate to the toaster.

“What are you doing?” he asked in surprise.

“Microwave turns them to mush.”

“Don’t they have to be frozen first?”

“Nah.”

He came up with his plate, set it on the counter, and wrapped an arm around my waist from behind—which I didn’t expect after what we just discussed. I eased my weight into his body and felt his head lean against mine.

“I’m sorry to start off with a tense morning.”

I stroked my hand along his arm. “Last night was different.”

“Good different?”

“I’m not complaining.”

His hand slid under the fold of my robe. “You’re naked under here,” he purred.

“I wasn’t fully awake when I got out of bed.”

Those fingers traveled downward.

“Stop.”

“How sore are you?” he asked, contrite.

“Enough to keep your hands off.”

Then Sam dropped to his knees, rotated me, and stuck his head under the robe. “I’m sorry for being overeager, Kate’s pussy—”

“Get out of there, you loon!”

He kissed my mound. Then looked up at me. “I want to make it better.”

And rolled to his feet.

“It needs rest.”

“And?”

Nuzzling my nose. Hands on my waist.

“Maybe an ice pack.”

“Baby…”

“Stop thinking about my pussy and toast your pancakes.” I grabbed mine from the slots, put them on the plate, and retreated to the sofa. Gingerly.

His grin was downright dirty. “You know that’s an absurd order, right?”

“Pfft. If you thought about sex all day you’d never get anything done.”

“But you do have a way of dominating a man’s brain.”

I shook my head. “Sam, you were married to a Stepford Wife cold fish. Any woman would shine in comparison.”

“Did you know I’ve had offers since the divorce went public?”

“What?” I almost choked on pancake.

Now he was smug. “Single dad with cute little kids is apparently chick bait. Almost as good as walking a puppy, so my friends tell me.”

“If you were dating, then why me?”

“I didn’t say I dated. I said there were offers.”

Oh.

The idea of him flirting with other women made my skin crawl. Those bitches—

“Kate…”

“Hmm?” When did he sit on the sofa?

“You never have a reason to be jealous.”

“Jealous—”

“It was written all over your face, babe,” he said, tracing it with his index finger.

“Did you call her ‘babe’?”

“Who, Mandy?”

I nodded.

“No. Never.”

“Good.” I leaned in for a kiss and he stopped short before connecting.

“You have no competition.” The air of his words hit my lips. “I don’t think you ever did.”

I made contact and the ache in my soul eased. I moaned. Or sighed.

Something.

I wasn’t the oasis—he was—and I needed a long drink. His fingers dove into my hair and he directed my head where he wanted it. I gave up control. He plunged his tongue in my mouth, tasting like syrup and sin. I crawled onto his lap to get closer.

Sam grabbed my ass and kneaded the flesh. I arched my neck. His lips moved there, reminding me of how last night started in my room. One hand still in my hair, he controlled my head with the length, and I got wet.

“I’d take you right here,” he growled. Brown irises were swallowed up by black pupils.

“I’d let you.” Instead, I cupped his penis through his pants. “But we still have options.”

“On your knees,” he said through ragged breaths. “Now.”

Grinning, I moved to the floor between his legs and reached for the fastening. He arched his hips to let me pull his pants down and his cock sprang out like a jack-in-the-box. I licked my lips, then lined the head up with my mouth and took him as deep as it would go.

Sam swore on a moan.

I loved giving head to a man I cared for. Blow jobs were an easy way to please and I’d learned all the tricks. Yeah, you can get a guy off quick, but it was better to make him come hard. To make him lose control, pull your hair and deep throat you. To lose feeling in your tongue by sucking him like a vacuum.

And then he’d cuss or call to God or shout your name.

I did it all to Sam. And then I swallowed.

His eyes were dazed and he breathed like he’d just done the 100-meter sprint.

“You know I’m never letting you go, right? I can’t lose having that in my life.”

I laughed. “You’re welcome.”

“Did I go too rough on you?”

I grabbed his hand and kissed his palm before he could examine my scalp. “There’s no such thing.” He opened his mouth to argue. “Excluding abuse.” Mollified, he sank into the cushion. “Did you forget where I come from?” I asked lightly.

His brows met in the middle. “Don’t even think I can do simple math right now. Good God, woman.”

I grinned. Joined him on the sofa. “Just next time you want to try seven orgasms in a row, bring lube.”

He chuckled. “Deal.” Then kissed me. “I want to see you use ice on yourself.”

A groan. “You’re such a horndog.”

“You inspire me.” He kissed me again, deeper this time, with passionate gratitude. “I love you.”

“I’m getting used to hearing it.”

“Well, that’s something. I am sorry for being a young idiot, you know,” he said softly. “I made distance after high school in the hope my feelings would stop, and then after the funeral…you needed a friend to comfort you in your grief, not take advantage of your vulnerable state. I was horrified I lost control like that. You deserved better than me thinking with my dick.”

“I never heard from you again.”

“I didn’t know how to face you without wanting you and hating myself for it. We already weren’t talking anymore. Easier to return to that. Though I didn’t hear from you, either.”

“What was I supposed to say? You gave me the best kiss of my life then ran out of the house and never looked back! Anything I tried would’ve just looked needy.”

He turned his face and kissed my hair. “I would apologize properly if I could do it again.”

“What if the kiss hadn’t stopped in that moment?”

“I was seconds from sitting you on the island.” He held me close. “That kiss was the hottest thing I’d experienced up ‘til then and there wasn’t a lot of thinking happening during it, if you know what I mean. Do I wish our first time was that night? No. Wouldn’t have been right.”

“Maybe.”

He pulled back to look at me with brows high. “Really?”

“As long as you didn’t turn into a jerk after. I’d crushed on you for years. You think I didn’t fantasize about giving you my virginity?”

He groaned. “Why weren’t we honest for two seconds back then?”

I laughed. “Because you were meant to have those two adorable kids.”

“Right.”

“Besides…can you imagine clueless-virgins us trying to navigate that without total embarrassment? Going from zero to ninety would’ve been a disaster.”

“Hey…” Then he laughed, covering his face. “When I got married, my best friend at the time warned me to jerk off before trying to do the deed on my honeymoon, or it’d be a short night. Here I’d been thinking I’d be fine because I wasn’t teenager anymore.”

“See? And orgasms? Pfft!”

“You weren’t exploring?”

I shook my head. “Not until the med student. I mean, I knew what my parts were and what they were supposed to do, of course, but I wasn’t in a hurry to masturbate. Then the accident and Pete’s recovery…I didn’t explore my sexuality until—”

“Here in Nashville.”

“Yeah.”

We cuddled until the afterglow wore off.

Sam left and I hit the shower. Then cleaned up after breakfast.

We were going to re-meet later after he had time to write the contract draft.

A relationship contract…

I thought something like that would only exist on Big Bang Theory.

But Sam was right.

A mutual agreement would make me feel better about risking a long-distance romance, and especially a move to California. I needed that safety net.

I’d read a chapter of a book when the front door knob turned after a jingle of keys.