Chapter Nine
Ash didn’t know what to expect when the door closed behind them, but it wasn’t the feeling of extreme exhaustion that washed over them. Without any warning, a yawn fought its way out of their throat.
“I hope I’m not boring you, Ash,” said Nolan before he also broke out into a yawn.
“Same to you.” Ash collapsed onto their bed.
“Hey, shove over,” Nolan mumbled.
Ash half-heartedly shuffled their body sideways, and Nolan thumped down beside them, laying a warm arm over their back.
“Why am I so tired?” asked Ash.
“We did just walk half the sea wall after dinner,” said Nolan. “Plus, it’s been a long week.”
“True,” said Ash. “Ugh, and I have assignments to finish before Monday too.”
“Let’s not dwell on those,” said Nolan. “Anyway, I have the same one as you for Can lit.”
“Oh, yeah,” said Ash. “Don’t forget we’re working on it together.”
“Yeah,” said Nolan sleepily.
Ash thought maybe he had fallen completely asleep when he rolled over, pulling Ash closer to him. Nolan nuzzled their heads together and sighed. Ash could feel his heart beating steadily against their palm.
“Have I ceased to be interesting to you?” asked Ash teasingly.
“Too sleepy to be horny, sorry,” said Nolan.
Ash giggled, and Nolan snorted out a laugh as well.
“You’re missing a prime opportunity here,” said Ash. “I’m in a skirt and everything—lacy panties included.”
“I’ll have another opportunity, I’m sure,” said Nolan. “Unless you decide to never wear a skirt ever again—then I’m out of luck.”
“No chance of that,” said Ash. “I like my skirts.”
“I like your skirts too,” said Nolan. He paused and then said, “Do you ever get scared when you’re wearing girl’s clothing?”
“I’m always scared,” said Ash truthfully. “More than one awful person has said something transphobic to me. And as you saw that one time, I’m not used to being perceived as a woman, and that can put me in danger.”
“Intellectually, I get it,” said Nolan. “But in my gut, I don’t think I’d ever understand how it feels. Or why you’d do something that’s terrifying.”
“It feels worse not to be myself,” said Ash. “I thought it would be easy because I do feel male some of the time. But other times I’m female or somewhere in-between. And because I’m always genderfluid, it feels weird to be gendered male.”
“I guess I get the feeling of wanting people to know who you are,” said Nolan. “Most of the time, people think I’m straight. And I get that I don’t have to deal with a lot of shit because people think I’m straight.”
“Yeah,” said Ash. “Even I thought you might be straight at first.”
“And you know, it’s hard to hit on people who aren’t women when they don’t realize you’re hitting on them,” Nolan said dryly.
“Is that a not-so-subtle jab at my inability to tell that you were flirting with me?” asked Ash.
“Could be,” said Nolan.
Ash could tell he was smiling without even looking at his face. They poked Nolan’s side in retaliation.
“Ugh, it’s a good thing I’m too tired to get my revenge,” said Nolan.
“What revenge, a poking war?” asked Ash.
“No, definitely a tickle fight,” said Nolan.
“Oh, glad I’m missing that,” said Ash. “Tickling is my worst weakness.”
“It’s not a fear of spiders?” asked Nolan. “Dang. There goes my dream of rescuing you.”
“You wanted to be a spider-squishing boyfriend?” Ash laughed. “Too bad. I love creepy crawlies.”
“I’ll never get to be your knight in shining armour, then, is that it?” Nolan said.
“You’re already saving me,” said Ash. “You’re saving me from a life of loneliness.”
“A life?” said Nolan. “Planning long term, are we?”
Ash hid their face. They definitely hadn’t meant to say something like that so early in their relationship. Damn their brain-to-mouth filter!
“A life it is,” Nolan said in their ear. “I’ll never leave you alone.”
Ash broke out of hiding to say, “You can’t promise that!” and ended up touching noses with Nolan.
“Oh?” Nolan said with a smile, rubbing the tip of his nose against Ash’s. “Can’t I?”
“Not yet,” said Ash. “We’re only just starting out, after all.”
“When will I be allowed to say it, then?” Nolan asked.
“When I say so,” said Ash.
“Then I’ll ask you every day,” said Nolan.
He leaned in and pressed a kiss to their mouth. It was a sleepy kiss, and Ash could tell neither of them was going to be able to stay awake very long.
“I need to get out of this dress,” they said with a sigh. “I can’t sleep in my clothes.”
“You entice me with your words, and yet the flesh is weak,” said Nolan.
Ash smacked his arm with an open hand, and Nolan laughed.
“Tomorrow I’ll ravage you,” Nolan promised.
“Okay, but for now, I must get my pyjamas on,” said Ash.
“What do you usually sleep in?” asked Nolan.
“Just some pyjama pants,” said Ash. “Wait… You don’t have any pyjamas, do you?”
“Nope,” said Nolan. “Boxers it is for me.”
“Fine,” said Ash. “That will have to do.”
“I could sleep naked instead if you’d rather.”
Ash snorted and didn’t answer, getting up to groggily wander into the bathroom. They washed the makeup thoroughly off their face. It wouldn’t do to leave it on and get acne. They left the clothes in a pile in the bathroom and got their pyjamas on.
Brushing their teeth, they wandered briefly back into the bedroom and nearly dropped their toothbrush. Nolan was pulling his shirt off over his head, revealing broad shoulders and a toned back. It was really a very nice sight, even if… Nope, definitely too tired for anything other than sleep.
Nolan glanced back at them over his shoulder partway through taking the shirt off and grinned. Before he could make a smart comment, Ash resumed brushing their teeth and escaped back into the bathroom. They looked in the mirror and saw that their recently scrubbed face was rather pink, and not from the scrubbing.
They finished their ablutions and returned to the bedroom, where Nolan was already sprawled out over the bed again, this time in just his boxers.
“You, um, you can get under the covers, you know,” said Ash, eyes roaming over all of Nolan’s exposed skin.
“I was waiting for you,” said Nolan with another smile.
Ash climbed onto the bed and slipped under the covers.
“Come on,” they said. “Just get in already. It’s warmer under here anyway.”
“Is it?” asked Nolan. “You’ll keep me warm, will you?”
“It’s just body heat.” Ash flushed and turned over on their side, away from Nolan.
“We could pretend that we’re trapped in an unheated cabin in the middle of nowhere,” said Nolan. “And one of us fell in a lake and needs to be saved from impending hypothermia.”
“You really must have watched too much rubbish telly when you were a kid,” said Ash. “Unheated cabins and accidents don’t really happen, you know.”
“It does in Canada,” said Nolan cheerfully. “And anyway, we’re pretending. It’s a fantasy. Anything can happen in those.”
“Well, if it’s a fantasy, why don’t you think of yourself as a dashing prince?” asked Ash. “You’ve saved the damsel in distress from the dragon, and it turns out they’re a princess in disguise.”
“A dragon?” asked Nolan with a laugh. “You think I could fight a dragon and win?”
“It’s a fantasy, remember?” parroted Ash. “You can be anything you want.”
“You want to be a princess?” Nolan reached over and put a hand on Ash’s shoulder.
“Only if it’s a fantasy,” said Ash. “I don’t think being a princess would actually be that fun in real life, especially one who’s actually a trans person. A princex. Whatever.”
“That’s true,” said Nolan. “Being a prince would probably be difficult too. Never mind the dragon-slaying that one has to do.”
“Good thing we’re both ordinary.” Ash murmured sleepily.
“Are we ordinary?” asked Nolan. “I happen to think you’re pretty extraordinary.”
“I’m just an English literature student with a biochem-major boyfriend,” said Ash. “I think that’s good enough for me for now, don’t you?”
“Yeah, it’s probably fine.” Nolan slipped his arm around Ash’s shoulders.
Ash sighed and closed their eyes, leaning back into Nolan’s embrace. Nolan tightened their hold around them, and he leaned his forehead against Ash’s shoulder.
“You’re right, it is warmer,” said Nolan. “Do you like being the little spoon?”
“I’m not really used to being a spoon at all,” said Ash. “It never really progressed to that point, you know? Even when I was with Evie, we didn’t ever really just sleep together like this.”
“Evie was missing out,” said Nolan. “This is great.”
“I like it,” said Ash. “I’m just glad it’s with you.”
“Me too,” said Nolan, and he pressed a kiss to the back of Ash’s neck.
Ash was silent for a second and then said, “Nolan? Tell me a story.”
“A story?” asked Nolan, sounding amused.
“Yep,” said Ash. “What were you like before you went to university? Something like that.”
“I’ll tell you a story of how I met my friend Gabe,” said Nolan. “He’s my best friend—has been since we were kids.”
“Really?” asked Ash. “I thought you just met him in university.”
“Nope, we were actually about five or six,” said Nolan. “My parents had taken me to the zoo for my birthday. Gabe was there, too, for a different birthday party. I remember staring at the penguins for a really long time, and the next thing I knew, none of my friends or the other parents were around.”
“What, they left you?” asked Ash in alarm.
“I guess they thought I was there, but I was by myself, surrounded by strangers,” said Nolan. “I kind of panicked, and instead of staying in one place, I went to look for everyone.”
“Oh no,” said Ash.
“Exactly. My parents went back to where I had been, but I was already gone,” said Nolan with a light laugh. “They were terrified I’d been kidnapped or something.”
“If you weren’t here telling me this story, I’d be scared of that too,” said Ash.
Nolan squeezed Ash in a slight hug. “I met up with another group of kids, and I was crying, so Gabe took me to his parents.”
“Oh, thank god,” said Ash.
“That’s also what my parents said,” Nolan said with another laugh. “Gabe’s parents figured out that I’d wandered away from my parents and took me to the front gates. And my parents were there, and my mom was crying, and my father was yelling at people. They were so grateful to Gabe’s parents for finding me.”
“Wow,” said Ash. “So you were friends ever since then?”
“It turned out we lived pretty close to each other,” said Nolan. “We didn’t go to the same school, but we were close enough that I could bike over to his house after school to play video games.”
“And now you go to the same university,” said Ash with a laugh.
“We applied together on purpose,” said Nolan. “We’re both Vancouver boys, and it just seemed right to apply to the same place.”
“True enough,” said Ash.
Nolan yawned again, and Ash said, “We should probably go to sleep now.”
They didn’t remember much more than that, just Nolan’s face pressing against their shoulder in the dark.
*
The sun washing in through the windows first brought Ash to wakefulness, but it was the tug at their bladder that pulled them out of the misty forests of sleep.
Without really thinking about it, they rolled out of bed to use the facilities. They hardly saw their messy hair as they washed their hands. It was only when they returned to bed that they realized Nolan was there, splayed out across their bed like a model posing for a photo.
“Oh.” Ash suddenly became aware of their sleep-sour breath and disaster hair.
They retreated once again to the bathroom to fix both problems. Thinking quickly, they also shucked their pyjamas. They slipped back into bed and snuggled closer to the warm form next to them.
Nolan made a snorting noise as he stirred, wrapping his arms around Ash without even opening his eyes.
“Mmm, good morning,” he murmured.
“It is rather good, I agree.” Ash ran a hand up Nolan’s spine.
“Hey, no fair,” said Nolan. “No getting me excited while I’m still sleepy.”
“I’m not touching anywhere exciting,” Ash retorted.
“When it’s you, everywhere’s exciting,” Nolan rasped against their hair.
“What if I poke you in the nose or something?” asked Ash.
Nolan just smirked against Ash’s skin. Ash bonked their nose against Nolan’s to see what would happen. Apparently, that was Nolan’s cue to kiss them.
“Hey, you went and brushed your teeth,” said Nolan.
“Yeah, of course,” said Ash. “I was expecting to kiss you quite a lot this morning.”
“Oh, really?” asked Nolan. “Sounds like you have plans.”
“I do have plans,” said Ash. “You should wake up properly and find out about them.”
“Only if I’m also allowed to go brush my teeth,” said Nolan.
“Fine, just hurry up,” said Ash.
Nolan groaned as he rolled over. The bed bounced as he exited and walked to the bathroom. Ash rolled over onto their back and stared at the ceiling. It was nice being able to wake up like this.
Nolan got back into bed as well and said, “I borrowed your toothpaste.”
“Oh, I forgot you don’t have a toothbrush here,” said Ash. “What did you use instead?”
“Just my finger,” said Nolan. “Anyway, enough with the chit-chat, I do believe you had plans for this body of mine, did you not?”
“I did,” said Ash. “First, you should kiss me properly.”
“As you wish.” Nolan leaned over to press their mouths together.
Ash hummed into the kiss, putting their arms around Nolan’s neck. Nolan shimmied closer, and although the blanket started falling off the bed, it didn’t matter. Nolan’s skin was warm enough. Ash ran their hands over Nolan’s broad shoulders and then ran them down his sides. Nolan broke the kiss to laugh.
“That tickles.” He looked down at Ash through a veil of golden hair.
Ash just laughed and leaned up to kiss him again. Nolan kissed the corner of their mouth, then the soft bit of skin next to their ear, then underneath their jaw. Ash shivered as Nolan pressed his mouth to their neck.
“Do you like that?” asked Nolan in a low voice.
“Yes.” Their reply came out more breathlessly than they intended.
Nolan kissed down their clavicle, then stopped at their chest.
“Something wrong?” asked Ash in slight worry.
“Just realizing that I’ve never really done this with a person with your anatomy,” said Nolan. “Also wondering if I can do the same thing I would with a person with breasts.”
“Yes, you definitely can,” said Ash.
Before the words were even fully out of their mouth, Nolan was tonguing one of their nipples. The sudden wet heat sent a rush of warmth through their body, which settled in their groin. Ash groaned, and their back arched.
“Oh, you like that,” said Nolan. “A lot, it seems like.”
“Yes, please keep doing that,” Ash said in a tight voice.
Nolan did, closing his mouth around the other one, running his tongue around it. Ash shivered again, clenching their hands in the covers.
Nolan continued kissing down their stomach, and Ash’s hands renewed their grip on the bedsheets when Nolan pressed his mouth to Ash’s hipbone.
“Um, you know I’ve never done this before,” said Nolan, sounding a little daunted by the prospect.
“It’s not so bad,” Ash said. “But if you don’t want to—”
“I want to,” Nolan said. “I just don’t want to mess it up.”
“Don’t worry so much,” Ash laughed a little. “The only thing you really have to worry about is your teeth.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Nolan said.
A moment later, that same wet heat was licking up the length of Ash’s cock.
“Fuck,” Ash said very succinctly.
“It’s okay?” asked Nolan.
“Yes, yes, just keep going,” Ash babbled.
Nolan engulfed Ash’s cock in his mouth. Ash clung to the bedsheets, trying hard not to buck up into Nolan’s mouth. It would do no good to choke him when he was just learning.
After a few minutes, Nolan pulled off and said, “Is it supposed to hurt your jaw?”
Ash laughed as Nolan rubbed his jaw, perplexed.
“It does sometimes,” Ash said with another giggle. “Here, you rest your mouth.”
Ash pushed Nolan onto his back and then knelt between Nolan’s legs. They ran their hand over Nolan’s length and then ducked down to circle their tongue around the head of his cock.
“Christ,” said Nolan, and he did buck up.
Luckily, Ash was more used to this sort of reaction. They took in as much of Nolan as possible and sucked hard. Nolan writhed on the bed, and Ash pinned his hips in place so he wouldn’t writhe right off the bed.
Nolan made a rather interesting noise as Ash cupped his balls, which turned into a high-pitched whine when Ash pressed gently at the skin behind them.
“Like that?” Ash asked in interest, increasing the pressure.
“Um…” Nolan’s face was turning pink. “I think so. It’s—oh!”
Nolan’s breathing was uneven, and Ash particularly liked this look in him.
“Can I just—?” Ash asked, inching their fingers back.
“O-okay—ah!”
Nolan trembled minutely and seemed to be trying to keep still. Ash pressed a fingertip to Nolan’s entrance, and he made another strange noise in his throat.
“This okay?” asked Ash.
“Yes, it’s fine,” babbled Nolan a little breathlessly. “Um, it’s okay if you—”
“What?” asked Ash, grinning.
“Put your finger in,” said Nolan, flushing hard.
“Let me just get something,” Ash said, leaning over to their bedside table to grab some lube.
Nolan craned his head to look at what Ash was doing. “What’s that?”
“Something that will make this easier,” said Ash. “Just some lube, nothing special.”
“Oh, okay.” Nolan sounded nervous.
“It’s fine if you’d rather not.” Ash stopped halfway through opening the bottle.
“I’d like it if you did, I think,” said Nolan. “Just go slowly?”
“I wasn’t going to just ram it in,” said Ash with a laugh. “Let me just warm this up a little. It’s kind of chilly and unpleasant if I don’t.”
Ash put their hand back between Nolan’s legs and pressed the tip of their finger in just a little.
“Oh, that’s an odd feeling,” said Nolan, scrunching his face.
Ash squinted as they worked their finger in a little more. “Odd is better than bad, I guess.”
“It’s not bad,” Nolan said, voice tight. “Just keep going.”
Ash pressed their finger deeper, working it in. Nolan made another noise in his throat. It didn’t take long for Nolan to begin squirming.
“I think it’s okay if you put in two,” said Nolan. “I’m just…adjusting here.”
“Okay,” said Ash, and they started working in another finger.
“Ah!” said Nolan, and Ash stopped.
“Okay?” asked Ash in concern.
“There was something…” Nolan said. “It felt like a jolt.”
“Oh, I probably brushed your prostate,” said Ash. “Here, let me try again.”
Ash pressed their fingers in further and curled them. Nolan shivered and clenched his hands in the sheets.
“Yep, that’s it,” he said. “I… Does it get better than this?”
“In my experience it does,” said Ash with a chuckle. “I can go harder; it’s more likely to hit the right spot then.”
“Okay, I’m deferring to your expertise—ah.” Nolan’s back arched as Ash picked up the pace.
“Good?” asked Ash after a few moments.
“Yes, very good,” Nolan said, the words getting tangled in his throat. “I want more…more…”
“Yes?” asked Ash.
Their wrist was getting sore, but that was okay as long as Nolan kept making that face.
“Can you…?” Nolan asked. “Can you…?”
Ash got an idea of what Nolan might be asking for. “Yes?”
“Ash, you know what I want,” Nolan said. “Can you please just…?”
“Fuck you?” asked Ash.
“Yes!” said Nolan. “I need…”
“Right.” Ash removed their fingers.
Nolan groaned and then whined at the sudden absence. Ash dug around in their bedside table again for a condom and added more lube.
“You’re sure?” asked Ash, kneeling between Nolan’s legs.
“Just do it already,” Nolan said.
Ash laughed again. “So demanding.”
Before Nolan could make any retort, they pressed the head of their cock inside Nolan. Nolan arched his back again, breathing hard.
“Oh, that’s a lot,” said Nolan.
Ash paused, also panting. “Need me to stop?”
“Just for a second,” Nolan said.
They rested for a second, and Ash tried hard not to move. It was a little torturous being half buried in warm, slick heat, but there was nothing for it.
“Okay, move a bit,” said Nolan finally.
Ash pressed in a little at a time. Sweat built up on their lower back and forehead. It took a while, but finally they were fully seated.
“Oh,” Nolan said, shaking his sweaty hair out of his eyes. “That’s good. I like that.”
“Good,” panted Ash. “Let me know if I can move yet.”
“You can, just—”
“Slowly, got it,” said Ash.
They moved their hips, and Nolan gasped, shuddering. Ash worked up a slow pace that got faster as Nolan got used to it.
“You can go faster,” said Nolan. “I think I’m okay.”
Ash did, and Nolan immediately groaned.
“Yes, like that.”
“Here,” Ash said. “Touch yourself.”
Nolan reached in between their bodies to wrap a hand around his cock.
“Christ, I could come like this,” he gasped.
Ash picked up the pace a little, and Nolan made another broken-sounding noise in his throat. Ash’s thighs began to hurt, but it was secondary to the absolute rapture of being buried to the hilt in a warm and willing body.
“You feel so good,” Ash said in Nolan’s ear.
“Please,” said Nolan. “I need— Oh god.”
In spite of the burning in their thighs, Ash thrust harder, and Nolan cried out.
“I’m going to—” gasped Nolan, and then he moaned. “Ash, I’m coming, I’m—”
A moment later, Ash felt warmth between their bodies as Nolan came hard. The sight of him in a state of such ecstasy because of them pushed Ash over the edge as well.
The two of them collapsed in a sated, sweaty pile of limbs. Neither spoke for a minute or so, simply breathing as their heart rates slowed.
“I had no idea anal sex could feel like that,” said Nolan finally.
“Yeah.” Ash laughed. “It’s definitely not something you would expect to be awesome.”
“I can’t feel my legs,” said Nolan. “I don’t think I can stand.”
“Well, I guess it’s up to me to clean us up.” Ash grinned.
They got up, wincing at a sudden cramp in their thigh. They hobbled over to the bathroom to get a cloth to wipe them both off, depositing the condom in the garbage as they did. They helped Nolan get cleaner and then collapsed on the bed beside him.
“So,” they said. “That was amazing.”
“Agreed,” Nolan said. “I think the endorphins are making me high.”
Ash laughed again. “We should probably clean off properly.”
“Shower?” asked Nolan.
“Let’s,” said Ash.
So they did.
*
Brunch on campus was a quiet affair. Ash dressed in their favourite cornflower blue skirt and a white blouse. Nolan walked awkwardly on their way to the on-campus cafe, and Ash smirked the entire time.
“It’s not funny,” Nolan said, catching their expression.
“It is a little,” replied Ash.
“Okay, it is a little bit, but since it’s your fault, you shouldn’t laugh,” said Nolan.
“Fine.” Ash bit back another smile. “I’m just happy.”
“Me too,” said Nolan.
The two of them ordered some breakfast and watched people going by out the window. Spring really was in the air, and the warmer weather was bringing people out in droves.
“The semester is almost over,” Ash mused.
“I’m still working on that damn essay for Dr. Brandon’s class,” said Nolan with a sigh.
“Don’t forget we’re working on them together,” Ash scolded.
“Yeah, it’s a date,” said Nolan. “I’d probably get more done if I had someone with me to keep me accountable.”
“True.” Ash smiled.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. The morning was very calm and quiet. For the first time in a long time, Ash felt completely relaxed.
“Summer will be here soon,” commented Nolan. “I’m not taking any classes.”
“Me either,” said Ash. “I think I can finish on time without taking any summer classes.”
“We’re so close to being done,” said Nolan. “Just one more year.”
“One thing at a time.” Ash laughed. “We have to finish this semester first.”
“What are you going to do this summer?” asked Nolan.
“Hopefully, hang around with you a bunch,” said Ash with a grin.
Nolan laughed. “I meant apart from that.”
“I think I’ll go and visit my parents in the UK for a couple of weeks,” said Ash. “I think I should also tell them that I’m dating you.”
Nolan looked surprised. “Already?”
“Yep,” said Ash. “They have no idea that I’ve even met you. I’m sure they’d like to know I’m dating someone again. They knew about Evie.”
“Even the catastrophe that came afterward?” asked Nolan.
“Not entirely,” Ash admitted. “Just that it ended.”
“What are you going to do while you’re home?” Nolan asked. “I’ve never actually been to the UK, you know. What’s it like?”
“Way different than here,” said Ash. “I live in Manchester. It’s an old industrial city. I like it well enough, but I prefer here.”
“Really?” asked Nolan. “Why?”
“It’s much more foresty here,” said Ash. “And Vancouver is just a beautiful city. More greenery and parks, not so much concrete and brick. I love that the mountains and the ocean are right there.”
“We should go to the beach this summer,” said Nolan. “I love swimming.”
“Yeah, me too,” said Ash. “Once I went to a place called Newquay for the summer, which was on the ocean. But the ocean is rough there, and people don’t really swim. It’s more for going bodyboarding in wetsuits.”
“Wetsuits?” laughed Nolan. “Wow, even in summer?”
“Yeah, I guess it sounds weird, but the ocean on our side is cold!” Ash shrugged.
“I’d love to go one day, even if you say you like Vancouver better,” said Nolan. “I’d like to experience more of the world.”
“One day I’ll take you, then,” Ash said. “My grandparents live in Cornwall, so we usually spend some time there in summer. England isn’t so big, so we can probably go all over the place.”
“I’d like that,” said Nolan.
“What do you think you’re going to do this summer?” asked Ash curiously.
“I was thinking I’d get a summer job,” said Nolan. “I don’t have a job right now because my parents are paying for everything. But I think I should have some work experience to put on my resume.”
“Fair enough,” said Ash. “I should do something like that at some point.”
“I don’t really know what I’m good at,” said Nolan. “Maybe I’ll just be a server or a barista somewhere.”
“Customer service?” asked Ash. “I did that for a while in England. Not really the greatest.”
“But it’s a job,” said Nolan with a shrug.
“Maybe a job around here?” said Ash. “You could work at a cafe on campus.”
“I could even work here,” said Nolan, laughing.
Ash looked around the cafe. “Could be worse, to be honest.”
They lapsed into silence again, and Ash finished their breakfast. They felt a foot against their own under the table and looked over at Nolan. He was looking out the window and seemingly not paying attention, but the tips of his ears were turning pink. Ash smiled and looked back out the window as well, pressing their foot against Nolan’s again.
“Let’s go for a walk around campus,” said Nolan eventually.
“Yeah,” said Ash. “That would be good.”
The two of them deposited their breakfast dishes in a bin meant for dirty dishes and left the cafe. It was sunny outside with a light breeze, perfect weather for a walk. Ash reached out their hand automatically and linked it with Nolan’s. Nolan twined their fingers together, squeezing slightly.
“What are you thinking about?” asked Nolan as they walked along.
“Our campus is beautiful,” said Ash, looking over at a nearby fountain.
They were strolling along a walkway lined with trees. In the summer, the branches would probably create a canopy overhead, but the new leaves weren’t at their full bloom yet.
“It is,” said Nolan, looking around. “You know, I kind of took for granted that our city is full of greenery. But it must be different in other places.”
“It definitely is,” said Ash. “You should see London.”
“Doesn’t London have a park?” asked Nolan. “A big one?”
“Yes,” said Ash. “I guess it has lots. But it’s different.”
“They call our province ‘beautiful British Columbia’ for a reason, I guess,” said Nolan. “I’ve been up farther north, too, and driven through the Fraser Canyon. It’s a lovely drive.”
“Maybe we can go one day,” said Ash.
“I was thinking,” said Nolan. “Maybe we can go on a vacation to the Island.”
“Vancouver Island?” asked Ash. “I’ve never been.”
“I was thinking we could invite everyone,” said Nolan. “We should probably all get to know each other better if we’re spending more time together.”
“You mean Gabe, Dave, and Kevin and Evie?” asked Ash. “And Bei Bei and Ouma?”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” said Nolan. “It’s not too far from here to Victoria. It’s a four-hour ferry ride. We can stand on the deck and look at the ocean and the small islands on the way.”
“That sounds lovely,” said Ash. “We should try for it.”
“It is beautiful,” said Nolan. “Victoria is also a lovely port town and has all sorts of great shops to check out as well as great food. We can even check out the Empress Hotel—a big fancy hotel where the queen stayed once or something.”
“Sounds great.” The possibilities made Ash feel light, as though anything were possible. “And maybe everything would be fun and awesome.”
“I think it would,” said Nolan. “We could ask everyone what they think.”
“We could ask them right now,” Ash said, getting out their phone.
“True,” said Nolan.
The two of them found a bench to sit on and got out their respective phones. Ash’s hands were occupied with texting, so they leaned against Nolan’s shoulder to maintain contact. Nolan bumped his forehead briefly against the top of Ash’s head.
BEI BEI: You want us all to go on a vacation to Victoria?
ASH: Yes. I think it would be fun.
BEI BEI: And Ouma could come too?
ASH: That’s kind of the point.
BEI BEI: Okay, when would this vacation take place?
ASH: Whenever everyone can make it. I was thinking we’d just get an email chain going or something.
BEI BEI: Logistics is always fun. But FYI, I have weekends and Monday off usually.
ASH: Okay. Can you tell Ouma the plan? I don’t have her number.
Nolan made a snorting sound next to him.
“What?” asked Ash, looking over.
“Gabe says that we can’t have loud sex in the room next to his and keep him awake all night,” said Nolan. “Not that I was planning on it, but—”
“We could be subtle,” said Ash. “We could be the quietest sex-havers in the history of whatever hotel we stay at.”
“That’s no fun,” said Nolan.
“True,” said Ash. “But we have to think of Gabe.”
The two of them giggled and continued texting.
“I think this plan is a go,” said Nolan after a few minutes.
“I’m excited,” said Ash. “I’ve never been on a ferry, you know.”
“What?” asked Nolan. “Not even the one across to North Vancouver?”
“That doesn’t count,” argued Ash. “It’s only a fifteen-minute ride.”
“True, I guess it’s not exactly the full ferry experience,” said Nolan.
“So what should we do now?” asked Ash.
“Walk along Wreck Beach?” asked Nolan. “It’s a little chilly for any regular beach-goers to be there, so we’d probably be alone.”
“You just want to get me alone,” said Ash.
“As usual, that’s the plan.” Nolan got up and helped Ash to their feet.
The two of them walked for a while until they found the stairs down to the beach through the forest surrounding the campus.
“I can’t imagine trying to navigate these stairs in the dark,” said Ash.
“Good thing it’s light out then,” said Nolan.
They finally got to the bottom, and Ash took Nolan’s hand again. The sand was difficult to walk in when Ash was wearing ladies’ shoes, so eventually they stopped to take them off. They were getting full of sand anyway. Nolan laughed and did the same. The two walked down the beach, shoes in one hand and each other’s hand in the other.
It was a little bit breezy on the beach, and it whipped Ash’s skirt around their legs.
“Want to sit?” asked Nolan, and he found a largish log to sit on.
For a while, they watched the ocean and the seabirds that dipped and bobbed on the wind.
“Are you excited for this summer?” asked Ash finally.
“Yes, I am,” said Nolan. “It seems there are endless possibilities, and they all involve you.”
Ash blushed and looked away down the beach. The waves crashed on the shore, little white peaks waving at the sky.
“I’m glad,” they said eventually. “I want to spend the summer with you too.”
“Are you ready to go back?” asked Nolan.
“Not yet,” said Ash. “Let’s stay a little longer.”
They were silent again, watching the waves and listening to the water lulling against the sand. Ash rubbed a thumb over the back of Nolan’s hand.
Did they want to keep this moment forever? Although they weren’t certain whether the two of them would stay together, at least this moment was calm and quietly joyful. Despite the uncertainty of the future, they looked forward to it. Every day spent with Nolan was a good one.
“What are you thinking about?” asked Nolan.
“You,” said Ash softly.
“Me too,” said Nolan.
It was a long time before they headed back to campus.