Before I made a final decision about whether to return New Mexico, I wanted to speak again with Joe Magnus’s sister, Lily Biggers. She was listed in the phone book out in Goose Creek, where the Biggers clan was based, but I asked her to meet me out at my beach cottage because I wanted to check on the house and test the new alarm system.
Again, she was sitting in my driveway when I got there. No raincoat this time, just ruthlessly feminine clothes, pink-flowered shorts and a pink tank top against which her large breasts strained. Girlish sandals and pink nail polish. “Thank you so much for coming,” I said as we climbed the steps. The decals that read PROTECTED BY ADT had prevented more direct action, but a piece of white paper at the base of the door said NIGGER LOVER in large red letters.
Lily saw the paper before I could crumple it. “Sorry,” she said. Cold air blasted us when I opened the door. Pulling directions out of my pocket, I hurried to shut off the new alarm.
“You really keep the air conditioning on like this all the time?”
“Yes, I feel obligated to do my part to destroy the ozone layer. Why are you apologizing for your brother?”
She looked confused as I pulled three Cokes (two for me) out of the refrigerator. “I don’t know,” she said. “Aren’t you?”
“You think I’m apologizing too?”
“Yes.”
“Maybe I am, but somebody has to try to confront these men.”
“Why bother?” she said. “You won’t be able to change anything.”
“I’m not so sure, Lily. I keep thinking about the Oklahoma City bombing. Did you know that the guy who blew up that big building and killed all those people had pages of a novel called The Turner Diaries in his car? And Royce was some kind of protégé of the author before they had a big fallout over the Jews. Did you know there was a leg in the wreckage at Oklahoma City that they’ve never been able to identify? These white supremacists, Lily, they’re our brothers. I don’t mean just them. There are right-wing militias developing all over the country. And we both know it doesn’t take many of these guys to make terrible things happen.”
“Do you mind if I sit down?”
“Sorry. Take the big seat.” I pointed to my art deco barber’s chair, chrome and black leather, reclinable, spinnable, and raised on a short pedestal like a throne. But Lily chose to sit as far away from me as she could, leaning against the far end of my unremarkable sofa. I considered her decision and sat on the other end. “I’m still so freaked out about all of this, Lily. About what happened to Royce’s daughter and her children. Because here I was believing Royce was dead, and then there’s his daughter right on the TV, and I go out there to try to help her and it turns out she killed her own kids, and I have to bring one of them back to Charleston and bury her.”
When she didn’t say anything, I said, “So, what is it like for you having Joe Magnus as your brother?”
“I’m a girl, so I’m not very important to him. He still tries to protect me, though. Like when he called here.” She seemed uneasy now, even alarmed.
“Lily, do you know where your brother is?”
She rose carefully and put her Coke on the end table. “I think maybe I ought to leave.”
I stood up too, partly to block her way. “Listen, my mother has been shot, my car has been trashed, and I’ve had a goddamn stroke. Can’t you give me a little leeway here?”
When she peered into my eyes, I realized she was wondering whether I was dangerous.
“You swear too much,” she said. “You shouldn’t do that.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I keep swearing. Really.”
She made her assessment, stepped forward and put her arms around me. I began to cry mechanically, the way a baby can sound like a cat.
“You didn’t cause it,” Lily Biggers said, “and I didn’t either. So how can we be responsible?”
“Excuse me. Excuse me, please.”
I went into the bathroom, threw water on my face, blew my nose, and returned to the living room, where Lily had retreated to the safety of her corner of the sofa. I sat back down too, and we talked while I drank both Cokes.
“Joey has a bunch of fake IDs,” she said, “but he usually stays away from Charleston.”
“You’re sure your brother was here?”
“Well, he said he was, but then I realized we had only talked on the phone. That’s why I came to your press conference. Because I thought I might find him there.”
“Lily, this is very important to me. Is my brother alive?”
“Well, I know there’s bad blood between him and Joey. It’s some kind of fight that’s been going on all these years. I’m not sure what it’s all about, but Joey hates him.”
“Is it about our fathers?”
“I don’t know.”
“Have you seen my brother since he died?”
She looked uncertain, even frightened. “They got him to Brazil because of the burns, but I’m not supposed to know even that much.”
I moved over to my barber’s chair, tilted it back, and began to spin slowly. “Then he’s alive, and I don’t know what I’m responsible for.”