2018
When Quinn enters the kitchen, she finds Joe, Holly, Zoe, Carl and Mel sitting at the table, nursing mugs of tea and coffee, the remains of breakfast spread out before them. Their conversation ceases. They stare at her.
‘We were just discussing the best way to kill you,’ Carl says.
Zoe slaps his arm. ‘That’s not funny.’
‘We weren’t doing that.’ Holly’s eyes are ringed with dark hollows.
‘Not at all,’ says Joe.
‘This isn’t a joking matter,’ Mel says.
‘What else are we supposed to do?’ Carl scratches the greying stubble on his chin. ‘This situation’s crazy.’
In the spiky silence that follows, Quinn hesitates, suddenly unsure what to do with herself. Then she remembers the eagle and takes her usual seat at the head of the table. Aphrodite, who has followed her into the kitchen, slinks away and jumps onto the threadbare arm of one of the sofas. There she sits, tail curled around her feet, observing them all like some kind of referee.
‘I came to your room to find you,’ Mel says. ‘I thought you’d run away.’
‘Why would I do that?’ Quinn asks.
‘I was worried,’ Mel says, ‘then Grigor told me where you were.’
Quinn gives her a reassuring smile. ‘I couldn’t sleep so I went for a hike.’ She appreciates Mel’s concern. Shows she’s keeping an open mind about the events of last night. ‘Where’s Andreas?’
‘Sleeping off his hangover?’ Holly suggests. ‘He must have had a bottle of champagne to himself.’
‘He deserves to feel terrible,’ Mel says.
‘I can’t believe he knew all that about Eva and didn’t tell us,’ Zoe says.
‘He was honouring his promise to her,’ Quinn says. ‘As I was.’
‘You can understand why we’re all a bit shocked,’ Carl says.
‘Shocked I honoured Eva’s confidentiality when she came to me for help?’ Quinn replies. ‘What kind of healer would I be if I shared everyone’s secrets?’
Holly clears her throat. ‘True.’
Quinn thinks of the many times the people around this table have come to her for guidance. How she has helped each of them piece their broken souls back together. They didn’t question her methods then.
‘Surely the rest of you must have noticed changes in Eva?’ Mel asks. ‘She was on those meds for a while. Didn’t you realise?’
‘Don’t judge us,’ Carl says. ‘You weren’t here. You don’t know.’
Mel shrugs. ‘I’m just saying.’
‘Eva was desperate to get off that medication,’ Quinn says. ‘She asked me not to let her crack. No matter what she said.’
‘She could be very persuasive,’ Joe says.
‘Stubborn,’ Zoe adds.
‘She put a lot onto you, asking you to keep her secrets,’ Mel says. ‘That can’t have been easy?’
‘It was hard.’ A dark tangle of grief shifts from Quinn’s chest into her throat. ‘I just wanted to make her well. I really believed I could.’ A solitary tear trickles down one cheek. ‘I never thought she’d kill herself. I’ve had to live with that failure every day.’
‘We’ve all made mistakes,’ Mel says. ‘Can anyone here say otherwise?’
A synchronised shaking of heads.
‘Why didn’t you tell us everything after she died?’ Zoe asks.
‘What was the point?’ Quinn sighs. ‘She was gone, and she wouldn’t have wanted you to think badly of her. She was ashamed of taking the medication. She felt she’d let herself down.’
‘We wouldn’t have seen it like that,’ Holly says.
‘I know,’ Quinn says, ‘but she’d made up her mind.’
‘You could have acted differently,’ Zoe says. ‘But I think we all understand why you did what you did.’
Synchronised nods.
We? Quinn wipes her lone tear away. Is Zoe speaking for everyone now?
‘Question is what to do next?’ Mel says, exuding quiet authority. ‘Sofia’s unhinged in my opinion. Let’s give her the money back and tell her to leave.’
‘The money’s gone,’ Quinn says.
‘Already?’ says Joe.
Quinn stiffens. ‘The mortgage payments are huge. You have no idea.’ None of them do. None of them know how much she has sacrificed so they can live their best lives.
‘Sofia’s fixated on revenge,’ Mel says. ‘It’s not safe to have her here.’
‘She doesn’t want to hurt me,’ Quinn says. ‘Not really.’
Zoe’s eyebrows shoot up. ‘It did sound that way.’
‘If she really wanted me dead, I’d be gone already,’ Quinn says. ‘She could have sent someone to kill me. Or got Dmitri or Grigor to do it.’
‘Fair point,’ Joe admits.
‘I know what to do,’ Quinn says. ‘It came to me, up on the mountain.’
‘What did?’ Holly says.
‘Sofia is consumed by grief, not revenge. She needs our help.’ Quinn can see the unresolved trauma lurking beneath the girl’s bravado. ‘She doesn’t want to kill me, she wants to kill her pain. Her grief.’
‘She was pretty clear about wanting you dead,’ Mel says.
‘She’s a hurt little girl who wants her mother,’ Quinn says. ‘She needs to be healed.’
This is what Quinn realised up on the mountain and she also realised this situation is a new challenge from the universe. She must use all her knowledge and skills so she can become the wise elderwoman she was always destined to be.
‘How exactly are we going to heal her?’ Carl asks.
‘Let her stay,’ Quinn says. ‘Let Pure Heart work its magic on her. In time, she’ll let go of the darkness in her soul.’
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ says Mel.
‘Why not?’ Quinn looks at her fellow community members. ‘No one here has any intention of hurting me. Do you?’
An emphatic chorus. No. Of course not. We would never hurt you.
The Tarot card did signal a rebirth but not just hers. Sofia must also be reborn.
‘It does make sense for Sofia to stay,’ Zoe says.
When Quinn suggests they vote on it, everyone apart from Mel puts up a hand.
‘I think you’re underestimating the situation,’ Mel says.
Quinn seeks out Mel’s cool blue eyes and finds them pleading with her. ‘This is a journey we need to undertake together,’ she says, ignoring Mel’s silent plea. ‘Eva died here, in our community, and only we can clear that karma.’
Holly nods. ‘I agree.’
‘Me too,’ says Joe.
‘You’re not thinking this through clearly,’ Mel says.
‘Five votes to one,’ announces Zoe. ‘That means it’s decided. Sofia stays.’