I wait for Vaughn’s call, but it doesn’t come. Three whole days, and I turn into the kind of needy girl I’ve always hated: grabbing for my phone with every ring, my heart leaping as I hope to God it’s finally him.
But it never is.
I don’t understand. He’s been relentless, hunting me down, forcing my boundaries until finally I can’t make it through a single minute without imagining his hands on me. His mouth.
His massive, incredible cock.
I wonder if this is all part of a game, but that doesn’t make sense. Vaughn has always been brutally direct about what he wants. Me, on my knees, begging for him.
And I’m ready.
Just the memory makes my skin hot and my nipples ache. If this really is a way to make me surrender, it’s working. I’m craving him like never before. I still don’t know what secrets he’s hiding, but I’m too far gone to care. Fantasizing about all the wicked, dirty things he’s done to me is the only thing that gets me through the day. And now I don’t have work to distract me, that’s far too much time on my hands thinking only of him.
I need to do something before I go out of my mind.
Trying to snap out of my limbo, I head to the homeless shelter downtown where I volunteer a couple of times a month. They’re not expecting me today, but there’s always work to do: helping to prepare meals in the kitchens, or working in the office in back, organizing fund-raising drives.
“You mind if I pitch in?” I ask Loretta, who’s stuffing envelopes with letters asking for donations.
“Be my guest. We need all the help we can get.” She points me to a stack of empty envelopes. “The weather’s getting hotter, and you know how we’re already stretched to the limit here as it is.”
I start folding and stuffing. Summer in LA is brutal, and people on the streets don’t get to escape into the nice cool AC. I look around at the shabby offices and realize, if the Ashcroft money is really mine, then I could do more than just stuff envelopes. I could donate enough to buy another building; serve hundreds more meals. Think of how many people I could help -- and all without making a dent in the fortune.
Maybe this was why Ashcroft left me the money. We chatted about my volunteer work before. Maybe he knew I’d try and use it for good.
I’m a hundred envelopes down when my cell starts to ring. I snatch it up hopefully. Justine. I sigh. “Hey,” I answer.
“What’s up with you?”
“Nothing.” I try to sound more cheerful. “What’s going on?”
“Well...” She pauses, and I know right away, something’s wrong.
“What happened?” I demand. “Is this about the will? Did Brent get it thrown out already?”
“No, but...” Justine sounds reluctant. “I did something, and now you’ve got to promise not to be mad at me.”
“What?” I ask, my nerves growing. Justine is usually joking around, but she sounds deadly serious.
“So, I was thinking about why Ashcroft named you heir,” she says quickly. “And it doesn’t make sense, right? You only met him a couple of months ago, and the guy was eccentric, but not crazy, he still had his shit together.”
“Right...” I answer slowly, not sure where she’s going with this.
“But I got thinking about what you told me, that thing with the bracelet. He really wanted you to have it, like it mattered to him. Anyway, I just had this hunch, so I made them run a test, comparing your DNA to his.”
I freeze. “What? How?”
“You left your toothbrush at my house, one time you crashed there,” Justine explains, “Anyway, I figured it was a long-shot. I wasn’t going to say anything until the results came back.” She pauses. “They arrived today.”
I get this feeling of dread, like something terrible is about to happen.
“What does it say?” I whisper.
“They match,” Justine replies. “The DNA samples. They match. It explains everything, Keely, why he named you heir to his fortune. Ashcroft was your father.”
I sit down with a thump. “No.” I say, then again, louder. “No, there’s got to be some mistake. I know who my father is, he raised me!”
“I’m sorry, but it’s true, I can show you the lab report if you want,” Justine offers.
“I don’t understand,” I say, dizzy. “My parents were happy together, they were in love.”
“But they married super-fast, didn’t they?” Justine reminds me.
“Because it was love at first sight,” I whisper.
“It still might have been,” Justine tries to comfort me. “But I checked the dates. It looks like your mom was already pregnant when they met.”
“But with Ashcroft?” I try and wrap my head around it. “It’s impossible.”
“I’m sorry,” Justine says. “I know this is weird for you, but I found employment records, showing she was a secretary at his company for a year. Then she quit and moved to California and married your dad.”
“What? No,” I protest. “Mom would never have an affair with a married man.”
“She didn’t.” Justine reassures me. “This was before he met his wife. I guess it was scandalous enough, sleeping with the boss. They broke up right around the time she got pregnant. I don’t know what happened there.”
My head spins. My whole life I grew up believing I knew my parents. Why wouldn’t I? But now, the things Justine is telling me make me feel like they’re strangers.
“Are you OK?” she checks. “I know this is a lot to process.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what to think about anything anymore.”
“Well, the bright side is Brent can’t really contest the will,” Justine points out. “The DNA results show why Ashcroft left you the money. If they can’t claim you manipulated him into naming you in the will, then you’re safe from that morality clause.”
For now.
But the money is the last thing on my mind. “I have to go,” I tell her quickly. “Thanks, for...”
I stop. For what? Tearing apart my memories of my family? Making my head ache with a hundred questions about my past?
“I’ll call you later,” Justine promises. “Try not to freak out.”
It’s easy for her to say. I hang up, staring blankly around at the cartons of flyers. I need to get out of here, so I bolt, grabbing my purse and racing back to my car without even saying goodbye. I start the engine, but I don’t know where I’m going, so I just drive, aimlessly circling the busy streets, too caught up in my thoughts to care.
Ashcroft was my father. All this time, I never knew the truth.
I wonder what my mom was thinking -- what could have possibly driven her to lie all this time? Did Ashcroft not want me, is that why she never told me the truth? Something must have happened to make her run like that: move across the country and start a whole new life with a different guy.
And dad... My father was a good man. Kind and patient, funny and loving. I have eighteen years of happy memories with him, and even though I know this new revelation doesn’t take them away from me, I wonder if he knew all along. Did he look at me and see some other guy’s kid?
Who am I now?
I gulp back the tears. My heart is breaking. I’ve been so alone since the car accident stole my family from me -- but all along, I had someone out there. I just didn’t know it.
And now I’ll never have the chance to know him.
I think back over my few brief meetings with Ashcroft. The jokes he cracked, the stories he told me about his life. I enjoyed our time together, but I didn’t think twice about it. Now, I ache with the missed opportunity.
If he’d only told me, I could have known the truth. We wouldn’t have had long together, but it would have been something.
Why did he seek me out after all this time? What changed? I run through the possibilities in my mind, trying to make sense of it. Maybe there was a reason things didn’t work out with my mom, maybe he regrets the way it ended. Or maybe he just felt guilty after all this time, and was trying to pay me off from beyond the grave.
So many questions. I’ll probably never know the answers now.
All I’m left with are regrets.
I look up, paying attention to the road for the first time. I realize that I’ve driven up towards the Hollywood Hills. Towards Vaughn’s house.
I feel a sudden flash of recklessness. I know I’m all mixed up, reeling from the bombshell news, but suddenly, I crave him more than ever.
Time slips away so soon. Anything could happen. People can be gone from your life in the blink of an eye, and you never get a second chance.
I don’t want Vaughn to be just a memory. I don’t want to regret missing out on this too. Nothing about the last few weeks has made any sense. But the desire already clenching in my body, this is something real.
Something I can hold onto.
I take the turning up through the Canyon, my determination growing. I pull into his driveway and hurry around to the door before I can change my mind. The entrance is set back from the driveway, off a platform overlooking the canyon. I ring the bell and wait, my stomach tied up in knots.
For the first time, I’m the one making the first move. Tonight, I need to lose myself in him.
And this time, I won’t hold back.