The worst has happened.
It was Eddie’s birthday last week. He’s now eighteen years old and this morning the postmaster delivered his conscription letter. This time next week, he’ll be gone. He has to do some training for just eight weeks, following which, he will go to war.
My poor Eddie will be sent to a battlefield where grown men will want him dead and I can’t bear to think of it.
He says he will go, won’t do anything to get out of it and even though I’ve begged and begged for him to work down the mines, he’s not having any of it, says he won’t work the mines and definitely won’t be seen as a coward. Besides, now that the coal is rationed, even the Bevin Boys are being called to war.
We’re going to meet at the summer house tonight. Father is still watching us closely and I don’t want him to see me walk into the woods, so I’ll use the tunnel to get there and back.
I have to make a plan. I have to do something to keep him here in England. Whatever it costs, I want to keep him where he is safe but I have no idea what I can do.
Jimmy is home from school again. He’s already up to mischief and I need to watch him carefully. The chambermaid he took to chasing has now left Father’s employment, but a new one is here and his attentions have moved to her. I caught him on the upper landing, outside the room where the maids go to take a bath and I’m sure that he waits until the coast is clear and goes in there with them.
I think that Mary and the valet, Benjamin, are once again on talking terms. He now seems to like her more and notices her every time she walks past. They tend to disappear after dinner a little too often and he actually left Father waiting for his coat the night before last and Father had to get it for himself. Benjamin said that he’d been taken poorly, but I’m not sure that Father believed him. If he found out the truth, he’d be furious.
I overheard Father speak to our mother about the need for a valet and suggest that it was time to keep less staff. Life has changed in big houses, more household members now do their own chores and I’m sure that Father thinks that Mary and I should do more work, but I doubt that I could, especially the gardening. It would be awful if, when Eddie comes back from war, there was no job here for him to come home to. And, if he had no job, what would become of his mother and her gatehouse? It’s tied to the hall and I fear she’d have to move out.
Mother’s baby will be due soon. She’s getting bigger by the day and her moods have changed. We’re told that it will come late in the summer, but, by the size of her, I suspect that the baby will come sooner than she thinks.
* * *
Madeleine inhaled deeply.
‘Poor Emily,’ she whispered as she pulled the covers back and stepped out of bed. She’d been reading the diary and looking at her sketches and pictures for hours. Walking into the bathroom, she grabbed a towel, washed her face and glared at her bright red nose which shone back at her in the mirror.
‘You look damned awful,’ she said, pulling a face, before turning around and walking back into the bedroom. She tidied the quilt and puffed up the pillows. ‘Won’t be long before I’m back to normal,’ she said as she turned to the wardrobe and dug through her clothes until she found a pair of clean tracksuit bottoms, thick fluffy socks and a knitted long-sleeved top.
‘Pull yourself together; you have a daughter and a puppy to look after,’ she said sternly to herself as she pulled on the clothes. ‘You can’t expect Jess and Nomsa to do it all,’ she added, knowing that they’d both minded Poppy for the past two days while they’d insisted that Madeleine should take to her bed.
Madeleine picked up her hairbrush and began dragging it through her knotted hair. ‘You’re sure not going to win any beauty contests,’ she continued as she sat back down on the bed with a sigh, ‘but I think it’s time to face the world again.’
Madeleine used the back staircase to take herself down to the kitchen. She was not dressed appropriately for the hotel and was keen that she didn’t bump into any guests. At least Liam was gone and if Bandit or Nomsa had anything to do with it, he’d never dare show his face here again.
‘There you are, my girl. It’s good to see you out of your bed. Now, let me get you a hot drink,’ Nomsa’s voice rang out and Madeleine slumped in the chair and felt Nomsa’s hand immediately attach itself to her forehead. ‘You’re still feeling warm to me, though, so take it slowly.’ She walked through the kitchen, switched on the kettle and lifted some bacon onto a crisp white bread roll. ‘Eat this up, you need to get strong again.’
‘I can’t. I need to see Poppy. Where is she?’
‘She’s fine. She’s out there on the grass with Jess. I believe young Jack could be out there too.’ Her eyebrows lifted as she said the words making Madeleine jump up and look out of the window. Jack sat next to Jess with both Poppy and Buddy bouncing around them. They looked fondly at each other and were sitting so close that not a blade of grass could have grown between them, making Madeleine raise her own eyebrows and look back at Nomsa, who smiled.
‘A lot can change when you’re not watching,’ Nomsa said as she pushed the bacon sandwich firmly under Madeleine’s nose, before turning to pour the tea.
‘Wow. When did all this happen? I should go get Poppy. Give them some privacy.’ She smiled at the thought that Jess had found a friend and wondered how far the relationship had gone. They did look extremely affectionate towards one another and Madeleine approved wholeheartedly. Jack had never done anything to worry her, he’d always been the perfect gentleman and although he was a few years older than Jess, Madeleine secretly hoped that he’d be the catalyst that kept Jess from going back on the ships. She knew she was being selfish and protective, but after all that had happened and all that she’d lost, she wanted to keep Jess close and here at the hall.
She took a bite of the sandwich.
‘Poppy’s all right, trust me. The child gives them a reason to be together in the garden. Shall we say they’re watching her play?’
Madeleine nodded.
‘Oh, ouch. Wow, you look like crap.’ Bandit walked into the kitchen, held up his fingers like a cross and sat down opposite Madeleine at the table. ‘Am I safe to sit here or do I need one of those surgical masks, you know, the ones some people wear to protect them against pollution?’ he said with a grin as he reached over for the teapot and poured himself a drink.
‘Thanks. I’ve felt better,’ Madeleine said sulkily. She knew she looked a mess, knew her nose was bright red, but she really didn’t need reminding. ‘It’s your fault. I wouldn’t be this poorly if you’d been home the other night,’ she said as she stuck out her lip. ‘You should have been there.’
Bandit laughed. ‘So now it’s my fault that your ex is totally deranged?’
Madeleine turned her back to where he sat, turning her attention back to where Poppy played and noticed that she was trying to teach Buddy to catch, but each time she threw the ball it hit the puppy square on the nose and he’d give her a puzzled look, as though wondering why on earth she’d thrown the ball at him in the first place. She watched as Poppy found this hysterical and threw herself to the floor repeatedly, laughing, each time it happened.
‘Have you read any more of Emily’s diary?’ Bandit enquired as he moved around the table to sit beside her, nudged her arm and slurped his tea.
Madeleine turned to face him. ‘Of course. I can’t put it down. Emily talks of underground tunnels that go between here and a summer house. Have you been to the summer house?’
Bandit nodded. ‘Of course. It’s right in the middle of the woods. Quite a distance from the house, I’d say a good half a mile.’
He pointed and Madeleine sat back and stared towards the trees. ‘The tunnel must be huge. I mean, you couldn’t really crawl that far, could you? So it would have to be a tunnel that you could walk through, right?’ She stood up, walked to the window and tried to estimate how far away the nearest trees were. ‘I doubt Emily Ennis would have crawled that far. Trust me, I did it. It hurts like hell.’ She pointed to the trees and thought of the night she’d crawled through the woods.
‘It must… It just has to be in the cellar.’
Madeleine turned to watch Bandit as he disappeared down the cellar steps. ‘Where are you going?’
‘To find the tunnel. Are you coming? It’s got to be down here. Where else is so far below the grass? It’s the obvious starting point.’
Madeleine turned to Nomsa who smiled and shooed her to the cellar. ‘Go, I’ll look out for Poppy. If she starts driving the lovebirds mad, I’ll bring her in. The Aga’s warm, we can do some baking.’
Madeleine thanked her and ran down to the cellar to follow Bandit and help search for the secret tunnel.
Together they walked through the arched rooms that were below the house. An old coal chute and coal room stood to the left, the wine cellar to the right and the room before them was full to the roof with Christmas decorations, pieces of wooden furniture and piles of boxes all neatly labelled.
Bandit walked around carefully looking at the structure. ‘There has to be a clue,’ he said pulling the boxes from their pile and moving them to a new one behind him.
‘Which direction are the woods?’ she asked as she spun around on the spot.
Bandit thought carefully for a moment and then pointed towards the wine cellar. ‘That would be the outside wall facing the woods.’
Madeleine stood with her hands on her hips. ‘Then isn’t it logical that if the entrance is down here, it would be in there?’
They both moved quickly into the second room. Every wall was full of wine racks, every rack overflowed with bottles that were all stacked on their sides. Each rack was dated, each bottle dusty.
Bandit cast a glance over at Maddie. ‘Listen, I’m sorry. I wish I’d been there for you, you know, at home when you needed me.’
Madeleine stopped in her tracks and breathed in. Since the night she’d hid in Bandit’s garden she’d managed to distance herself from everyone’s sympathy and had felt that she could just about cope with what happened. But here, now, Bandit’s voice had softened, and she felt herself begin to shake as memories of that night flooded back.
Bandit’s hand was immediately on her shoulder. ‘Hey. Come here.’ He turned her to him and pulled her into a hold that surrounded her whole body with a tenderness and warmth that she hadn’t felt for years. Her tears began to fall. She could hear Bandit’s soft voice that sounded as though it came from somewhere in the distance. His hand rested on the back of her head and his slow, deep breaths pulled her into an almost trance-like state for what felt like an eternity.
‘It’s okay, shhhhh, let it all out,’ Bandit whispered as he pulled a tissue from his pocket and gently wiped away her tears and Madeleine knew that he’d known by the distant look in her eyes that she’d been suffering from within. She’d seen the trauma in his own eyes that day he’d pulled Poppy from the greenhouse and knew that he knew how she felt, knew what trauma could do to you.
‘I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.’
Madeleine watched as he moved his body into a sitting position against the wine rack and she relaxed in his hold. The cellar probably wasn’t the best place to be and she knew she’d be much better up in the kitchen where it was warmer, but the last thing she wanted to do was to move. She felt safe in his arms. Her whole body now felt calm as he pulled his jacket tightly around them both and for the first time in days, she was warm without overheating.
After what seemed like an age, Madeleine looked into his eyes. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she managed to say as she took the tissue from his hand and blew her nose. ‘It just got the better of me and, as though I didn’t look bad enough before, I bet I look a right state now.’
‘Maddie, you always look perfect to me,’ he said sincerely as he pushed the hair away from her face.
Maddie knew she didn’t look her best. Knew his words were kind and knew that she wanted him to kiss her, but not now, not here. It wasn’t right, not like this. She pushed away from him abruptly making them both stumble and they crashed back against the wine rack in an undignified heap. A loud noise filled the cellar and the wine rack began to move.
Bandit jumped towards Maddie once again, catching hold of her in a protective gesture. ‘What the hell?’
‘Oh my goodness, Bandit. We did it. It’s… it’s the tunnel. We found the bloody tunnel,’ Madeleine squealed as she grabbed hold of Bandit’s hand and dragged him to the opening that had suddenly appeared within the wall.