Father was being so kind and helped me without question or argument for weeks. He would bring food up to the room, light fires in the grate and would hold Edward Arthur as though he was his own.
He made it quite clear that neither Mother nor Mary were aware of his birth and that I understand that his existence was to be kept a secret and no fuss should be made at all.
But, now I know why Father has been so kind and so very secretive.
Edward Arthur is now just over five weeks old and today my father suggested that I go to the main part of the house and take a hot bath. He promised that he’d take care of my boy while I was gone.
The thought of a hot bath was too much and I almost skipped down the staircase with joy. Mother, Mary and Rose had all gone to London and much to my surprise the hall was empty of servants; everyone except cook and Benjamin seemed to have gone out, which seemed rather odd.
I went directly to my room on the first floor. I couldn’t wait for the luxury of the bath, but knew that it would take a while for cook to boil the water and for Benjamin to carry it up to my room, so while I waited, I rushed back up the staircase, to the room beyond where my baby lay.
This is where my nightmare began. A woman dressed in a tweed coat and hat held Edward Arthur; she told me not to make a fuss, that he’d be much better loved by an adoptive family and that I’d be better off without him. Father went quiet and it was then that I realised he was having my baby taken away. I screamed as loud as I could and for a moment I was grateful for the tolling of the bell tower. The noise unnerved the woman and I took the opportunity to grab Edward Arthur from her arms. I ran from the house as fast as I could in just my dress and my shoes and only managed to grab my bag which contained my beloved diary and a few of Edward’s things, but there hadn’t been time to take a coat, not for me or for Edward Arthur. I didn’t know where to go. But my options were limited and eventually I ran to the gatehouse, told Eddie’s mother everything and she promised to take us both in.
I now wait daily for news of Eddie. It’s now months since he disappeared and every day since I left the hall, I walk to the kissing gate, hide behind the trees and watch as the postman delivers letters to the hall.
* * *
Madeleine read the words out loud as she turned the wafer-thin page of the diary.
‘I can’t imagine how I’d have felt if someone had tried to take Poppy, or having to run away like she did. It must have been awful for her,’ she said as she held tightly onto Jess who lay on the bed between her and Bandit, cuddling tightly between them. They’d spent days like this, waiting for news. They’d been asked to stay together, asked to confine themselves to one room and not to leave the hall unless necessary.
Poppy was sleeping in her own bed and even though she’d had no idea of the torment that Jess had gone through, she’d been astute enough to build a wall of teddies around the edge of her bed and hide behind them for safety.
A police officer had stood outside the front doors of the hall for days. Liam still hadn’t been found, but after what he’d done to Jess, they wouldn’t take the chance that he could return to finish the job. After all, the police had no idea what lengths Liam might go to. It was obvious that he was obsessed with Madeleine and no one knew how far he’d go to gain his revenge.
‘How long are we going to be cooped up like this? It’s like being a prisoner. I hate being inside. I feel like I’m in that cage again. I don’t like it, Maddie. I hate it, it’s horrible,’ Jess whispered as she sat up against the pillows, looked down at where Bandit stared into space and pulled her knees up under her chin. ‘Why haven’t they caught him yet? I want to see Jack.’
Madeleine knew that Jess feared what Liam might do. She feared being trapped and enclosed and since being found, they’d all had to spend many hours just sitting in the middle of the garden with her, looking towards the woods, the summer house and the vast open fields that lay beyond. They’d all agreed that there was a certain safety in numbers, but Jess needed space and time to heal and until Liam was caught, neither the space, nor the healing was going to happen fast.
‘I don’t know, honey. All I know is that while the police are outside, we are all safe.’
‘He’d killed both his mother and his sister, Maddie. They’re buried in the cellar of that house, the one where you lived. They think he killed our mother and Michael too and they even think he could have been involved in your father’s death. Have you even thought about what that means?’ Her voice still shook with fear. ‘He’s done all of this for years, killed them all. Even that girl you caught him shagging in your bloody hallway, Maddie. She’s dead. I mean, why? Why would he do that and what was all that with the marker pen and the eyes?’ They were words that Jess had repeated continuously, words that she needed answers to and words that spun around in her mind like a washing machine on full cycle.
Madeleine pulled her sister back towards her, caught Bandit’s eye and silent words of compassion passed between them.
‘Sweetie, please don’t. Don’t torture yourself. Whatever he did, it’s done. We can’t change it. All we can do is look after each other now, isn’t that right, Bandit?’
She had no idea what else to say. It was true. Liam had killed them all. The police had confirmed that the bodies of three women had been found; all had been buried in the cellar. All had been tortured and just as he’d indicated to Jess, all had been dropped from a height that had broken almost every one of their bones. The identity of the third was still to be announced, but if the noticeboards were anything to go by, the third body would be that of her missing agent, Bridget.
There had been a picture on the desk of her father, the reason for which still hadn’t been answered. But Madeleine suspected that she knew what had happened, just as she knew what happened to Michael, her mother, to the parents Liam said had moved to Ireland and to his little five-year-old sister, whose only misdemeanour had been being born blind. His mother had cared for her, more than she’d cared for him, and the jealousy had begun.
Maddie’s mind spun like a child’s roundabout getting faster and faster, spinning out of control as it went, all the questions and answers were blending into one and she felt a constant feeling of nausea and stomach cramps. The deaths of Michael, her mother and father, even her agent, Bridget, were because of her – and she had so very nearly lost Poppy, Jess and Bandit too. Why did Liam hate her so much? He’d call it love but she was his obsession and she hated him with every fibre of her body.
She stood up, rubbed her stomach and looked over to where Bandit clasped the diary. His face had gone grey, but perspiration shone from his forehead as he stared at the wall, watching the clock that hung before him.
‘You okay?’ Madeleine asked as she watched him shake his head.
He stood up, walked to the bathroom and rinsed his face in the sink. ‘The words in the diary, Maddie. Did you understand what they meant?’ he asked when he came back into the bedroom.
Madeleine nodded. ‘Of course, it meant that Emily went to live with Eddie’s mother. What else?’
‘My father, Maddie. His name is Arthur. Emily’s baby was Edward Arthur. Put the clues together: Arthur, my dad’s gatehouse and the lady he went to visit through the tunnel. What’s the betting that Emily’s baby is my father and all his ramblings are true? Emily Ennis is my father’s mother – my grandmother – he just didn’t know it.’