Today was impossibly long and I’m so glad it’s over. I wasn’t sure that I was even going to be able to make it through the whole thing… the moment I saw Spencer I wanted to cry. He was being impossibly nice and that made it even harder.
I splash the cool water on my face three times before reaching for the towel. It’s strange to be standing in the bathroom of my very own trailer. It’s nothing to write home about, it’s pretty cramped and small, but it’s mine and it’s the only place where I can get a few moments of peace and quiet during the day.
I want to blame Spencer for Logan breaking up with me, it was him that wanted to take me to coffee and shopping, but I know that’s not fair. Spencer was being nice and was trying to get me the role in the movie. I should be thanking him really… and maybe someday I’ll be able to bring myself to have that conversation with him.
When I finish drying my hands and face, I walk back into what is effectively the bedroom of the trailer and I change back into my own clothes. My whole body thanks me for changing out of the snug outfit. I put my costume on the couch in the living area and grab my purse, opening it up to make sure I have everything.
“Wallet… phone….”
Someone knocks on the door and it pulls my attention away from collecting my things.
“Yes?”
The door opens and Dex comes in. He smiles at me as he sits on the couch and motions for me to join him. I nod and sit down in the chair across from him.
“How are you doing?” he says.
I move my eyes up from the floor until they meet his. I can see he’s doing much better than me and he actually looks like he’s in a good mood.
“I’m alright… how about you?”
He shrugs and smiles again. Dex takes his phone out of his pocket, looks at it for a brief moment and then puts it back.
“I’m good, can’t complain, and you were wonderful today.”
I can’t believe he actually thinks that. I thought I did awful and I was actually surprised that Dex didn’t stop shooting at one point where I almost started to cry.
“Thanks.”
“No, I’m serious.”
I look away, realizing that he caught the tone in my voice that implied I didn’t believe him.
“You had this raw emotion today,” he says, “which I’m sure came from… from what happened last night. It was amazing and exactly what the character needed for the scenes we shot today.”
I do my best to smile. It’s nice to hear him say that, but I’m not entirely convinced given how awful and out of sorts I felt today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better even though I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders right now.
“I’m glad… It wasn’t… never mind”
“What?”
I shake my head. I shouldn’t have said anything. Part of me wanted to tell Dex how hard of a time I’m having between Logan and my mom, but I can’t… not now. The more I think about it, the more I want to cry and I also don’t want to burden Dex with my problems.
Dex stands up from the couch, smiles at me and walks toward the door. He grasps the handle and turns around.
“Do you want to go get some dinner?”
I hesitate. The longer I stay away from the house means I don’t have to talk to my mom as much, but if I go out to dinner with Dex it means that Spencer will probably tag along. Even though I know none of the blame rests on his shoulders, with the whole Logan thing, working with him all day was hard enough. There were times I wanted to break down and cry or just run away and never go back.
“It’ll just be the two of us, if that makes any difference,” he says.
It does, but there’s no way I’m going to admit that to Dex. I guess it makes sense to go to dinner with him… it delays having to talk to my mom just that much more, which I think is totally worth it.
“Sure… I guess.”
Dex smiles and opens the door. I complete one last sweep of the living room of the trailer, to make sure I’ve got all my stuff, and follow him outside. I don’t catch up to Dex until he’s at his car. We both get in and he starts it. The security guard at the gate flashes us a smile as we drive through. Dex turns the car in the opposite direction of home and pulls into a gap in the traffic.
“I was thinking we could try Delikat… it’s this really great German restaurant.”
“Sure... that’s fine with me.”
I’ve never been to a German restaurant, so it should be kind of interesting. I hope the food isn’t crazy weird.
“What?”
“Huh?”
“They way you answered… you sounded a little apprehensive. We can go somewhere else if you want.”
Busted. Apparently I’m not nearly as good at hiding my emotions, which is something that I’ve learned rather quickly since being in Los Angeles. It’s something that I wish I would have known about myself before moving here, that’s for sure.
“No… it’s totally fine. I was just thinking that I’ve never eaten at a German restaurant.”
Dex lets out a little chuckle and I think I notice him shaking his head a little.
“What?” I say, “why’s that funny?”
“Sorry, I wasn’t laughing at that. I was just thinking about how everything has changed for you. L.A. is so different from everything you’ve known your whole life and so far you’re tackling it like a trooper.”
I wouldn’t think of it that way… not after how everyone has treated me. I’ve felt moments away from having a nervous breakdown since the moment I got on the plane in Greenville. It’s a feeling I hope will fade, but I don’t have confidence in that. The people in L.A. have been so hit or miss and the unkind ones… they make life difficult.
“Oh.”
Dex pulls the car into a parking spot and looks over at me.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound… condescending.”
I turn to him and smile. He really is a good guy… I’m still feeling bad that I treated him so poorly when I first got here and I didn’t know the whole story. I still think it’s sinking in that he wasn’t the one to ruin my family and that it was really my mom. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive her for that.
“No… it’s not that. I was just thinking about what you said.”
We get out of the car and Dex holds the door of the restaurant open for me. Dex stands at my side as we wait for the hostess. She smiles when she sees us, I can tell she recognizes him, but she doesn’t say anything.
“Two?”
Dex nods as the woman picks up two menus from the stack behind her.
“Follow me, please.”
She turns and heads into the dining room. The restaurant isn’t packed, but it’s busy and there are only a few empty tables that I can see. The hostess stops at a booth in the back corner and sets the menus down. We slide into the booth and I pick up the menu.
“Your server will be right with you.”
“Thanks,” Dex says.
I open the menu and quickly scan for anything that looks even remotely familiar. The names of all the dishes are in German, but the descriptions are all in English, thankfully, so I can kinda figure out what things are.
“Hi, I’m Alex and I’ll be your server.”
I look up from the menu. Alex has his order pad out as his eyes flick from me to Dex. I glance back down at the menu—I’m not even close to having any idea of what I want to eat.
“Are you ready to order? Or do you need a few more minutes?”
Dex closes his menu, sets it on the table in front of him and turns his attention to our server.
“Yes, I think we are.”
I quickly look down at the menu and try to figure out what to order. I notice the silence from Alex and Dex and turn my attention back to them. They are both looking at me and I realize they are both waiting for me
“Umm….”
I look at Dex for some kind of guidance and he smiles at me and nods.
“We will both have the Gemischter Salat to start and the Nürnberger Bratwurst as our main.”
As Alex writes down the order, I look through the menu until I find both of them. The first is a basic salad with cabbage, carrots, beets and potato salad. The bratwurst is just a grilled pork sausage with sauerkraut and mashed potatoes on the side. They both sound good and I’m starting to realize that I’m actually kind of hungry.
I smile at Dex and hand my menu to Alex.
“Anything to drink?”
“A bottle of water for the table… and I’ll have a Pilsner, whatever you have on tap.”
“Very good, Sir.”
Alex scribbles on his pad before shoving it into his apron and flashing us a pearly smile. He walks away from the table and I turn my attention back to Dex.
“Thanks,” I say.
“No problem. I come here a couple times a month, so I have a pretty good idea of what the best things to order are. I promise you’re in good hands.”
I have a feeling that I am… not only here, but also in terms of the movie and living in his house. I’m starting to feel like Dex cares about me more than my mom does. It’s kind of weird to think that a man I barely know actually is looking out for me more than my only parent.
“Thanks.”
He smiles back at me and reaches for the beer that Alex has just set down in front of him. Dex lifts the glass to his lips and takes a long drink.
“No problem.”
“I’m so grateful that you’ve been so nice, to me. You let me come here and you’ve taken care of me and defended me….”
I stop and lower my head as I feel tears starting to well up in my eyes.
“Hey….”
I feel Dex’s hand on mine. I can’t bear to look up at him… I know that I’ll start crying. I take a deep breath and calm myself down, I can’t cry right now. Dex squeezes my hand and I finally look up at him when I’m sure that I won’t start to bawl.
“It’s all good. I’m glad that you’re here. You’ve saved me… and my film. I’ll always owe you for that.”
Even though Dex keeps telling me that I’ve saved the film, it’s hard for me to believe I could have done something so positive and meaningful after all the shit that’s happened in the last few months. I feel like when I look at him it’s obvious that he’s telling the truth and that makes me happier than I can ever express to him.
“Thanks.”
“I’m serious… it’s nice to know that there’s still young people out there who care about something bigger than themselves.”
I open my mouth to respond, but Alex sets down our salads on the table and refills my empty glass from the bottle. My stomach grumbles as I look at the food. Hopefully it wasn’t loud enough for Dex to notice. I take a sip of water and pick up my fork.
“This looks good,” I say, in an attempt to change the conversation. It’s not that I’m not flattered by what he’s saying, but I feel a little embarrassed about it. Not to mention it’s hard to believe any adult could think I was so capable and worthy of such praise.
I take a bite of the salad, trying to get a mix of everything. A quiet moan escapes my lips and I look down, once again hoping that my apparent lack of table manners doesn’t offend Dex.
“What do you think?”
I finish chewing the food in my mouth and smile at Dex.
“It’s really good.”
“I’m glad you think so. I don’t eat here often enough and….”
I get the sense that Dex was about to say something else.
“What were you going to say?”
“Never mind.”
I shrug and take another bite of salad. It really is very good. I’m starting to feel really spoiled… pretty much every single meal I’ve had since coming to L.A. has been delicious. It’s definitely one of the things I’m going to miss when I do finally leave, but I’m not going to think about that right now.
Dex takes a few more bites of his salad before he sets his fork down. He drinks some of his beer and then clears his throat.
“What I was going to say was that I brought your mom here and she hated it… so I haven’t been back since.”
That’s kind of sad. I must have a surprised look on my face because Dex chuckles and reaches for his beer again.
“Oh… well, that sucks.”
“Yes, it does suck. Nothing I can do about it though… maybe you can come here again with me and that’ll make up for it.”
“I would like that.”
I smile at Dex as I chew the last of my salad and push the bowl away. Alex stops to check on us and scoops up our empty bowls.
“How is everything so far?”
“Great,” Dex says.
I smile at our server and nod.
“Another beer, Sir?”
Dex looks down at his nearly empty glass and squints as if the fate of the world rests on whether or not he’s going to drink a second beer.
“I better not.”
“Very good. Your main courses will be out in just a minute.”
“Thanks,” Dex says.
I’m glad that he’s invited me to come here again with him. Going out to dinner with Dex has been nice. It feels calm… there’s no pressure to order light, like when I went out to eat with my parents, and I don’t have to worry about talking to a guy like when we go out with Spencer. Eating dinner out with Dex really is a nice experience.
“So… when do you think you’ll tell my mom about me being in your movie?”
Dex shrugs and picks his knife up off the table. He gently taps the base of it on the table. I have a feeling he’s just fidgeting as he tries to think of the right thing to say.
“Sorry,” I say, “we don’t have to talk about it right now.”
Alex is back and he sets down our main courses in front of us. There is a large bratwurst in the middle of the plate, with a large dollop of mustard on one end, and the sauerkraut and potatoes flank it on the plate.
“Can I get anything else for you?”
“Another bottle of water, please,” Dex says.
“Right away, Sir.”
I take the large steak knife off my plate and wrap my fingers around the polished handle. I feel bad for bringing up telling my mom… it’s obvious that he’s trying to avoid thinking about it. He did say he would be the one to tell her and I’m worried that the longer we wait the more upset she’s going to be.
“No,” Dex says, “we should talk about it. I can’t put off telling your mom, it’s not going to make it any better and I’m pretty sure it’s just going to piss her off even more.”
I crack a smile and so does Dex. He shakes his head and picks up his silverware. I don’t get it… Dex is such a nice guy, what could he possibly see in my mom? I guess I’ll never know because there’s no way I’m going to ask him that.
“You’re right… it’s only going to get worse if you don’t tell her.”
Dex cuts a piece of his bratwurst, dips it in mustard and uses his knife to scoop some sauerkraut on top of it. I follow his lead and take my first bite of the bratwurst. The tanginess of the mustard and the sauerkraut complement it perfectly. I go for a spoonful of the potatoes as I finish chewing the bratwurst.
“What do you think?” Dex says.
I nod my head. It’s really good, but my mouth is so full I can’t answer without seeming like a heathen.
Dex smiles at me as he refills my water glass and then his own.
“I guess I better tell your mom tonight, when we get home.”
“Yeah… I don’t envy you.”
Dex laughs as he cuts another piece of bratwurst.
“As you shouldn’t. I’m going to do my best to explain the circumstances to her and she’s going to have to understand. There’s really no way around it because I want you in my movie and there’s no way I’m budging on that.”
He smiles at me and I smile back. For the first time since last night I’m actually happy about something—Dex is taking my side and coming to my defense against my mom. It’s a great feeling that I won’t forget anytime soon.