“Amy?”
I open my eyes as pain shoots through my head. I quickly look around and realize I’m still in Spencer’s car before I can’t take the pain anymore and close my eyes.
“Are you alright?” he says.
I nod my head just enough to let him know that I’m sort of alright. A bright light pierces my eyelids and I raise my hand to block it. I hear the driver’s door close and the light fades. I reach for my seatbelt and take a deep breath as I try to ready myself to walk… a challenge I know I have to face and one that I’m certainly not ready for.
My door opens as I reach for the handle and I open my eyes. Spencer is smiling at me as he leans into the car, reaches around me and unbuckles my seatbelt. He moves his hand to my back and before I can even open my mouth he’s lifting me out of the car.
Spencer puts me on my feet and closes the car door, but keeps his arm around my waist the whole time. I don’t feel nearly as bad as I thought I would… and I definitely think I can walk into the house under my own power.
“Thanks,” I say, “I’m… I’m good.”
“You sure?”
I nod and Spencer hesitates for a few seconds, but finally lets go of me. He turns toward the door and I follow. I take two steps and then… then I lose my balance and start to fall.
“Ahhhh!” I yell.
I close my eyes and brace for impact, but it doesn’t come. Instead, I feel Spencer’s hands… they are under me as he cradles me and keeps me from falling. He slowly stands me up again, this time keeping his arm around my waist. Spencer takes my hand in his free one and walks me to the door. He lets go of my hand just long enough to open the door.
“Just take it slow,” he says.
I nod as I focus on not falling again. It’s not that I’m afraid… I know that Spencer will catch me if I do, but I’m embarrassed enough already and I think him saving me again would be too much… it would probably kill me.
We walk inside and Spencer helps me down a hallway, which I guess must lead to the bedrooms. He pushes open the first door on the right, while not letting go of me, and helps me inside. We make it to the bed, my world spinning the entire time, and he helps me sit on the edge of it.
Once he’s convinced I’m stable, Spencer kneels on the floor in front of me and takes off my shoes. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as he stands up and puts his hands on my shoulders to steady me.
“Try to get some sleep… I’m going to go get you some water, you need to drink it before you fall asleep.”
I nod as I lower my head to the pillow. I don’t even bother climbing under the covers, I don’t think I could manage if I wanted.
Spencer puts his hand on my shoulder and I open my eyes just enough to see him next to the bed with a glass of water in his hand. There’s a straw in the glass and he holds it up to my lips. I take the straw in my mouth and start drinking. The cool water flows into my mouth and down my throat and for the first time I realize how thirsty I really was. I drink half of the glass before pulling my lips off the straw and moving my head back. Spencer turns and sets the glass on the nightstand.
“Please try to drink the rest before you fall asleep.”
I have a feeling that’s not going to happen… I feel so crappy that it’s only going to be a matter of moments before I pass out.
Spencer brushes the hair out of my face and kneels next to the bed on the floor.
“Are you going to be OK?”
I nod, but only for a second because even the slight movement sends pain shooting through my head.
As I look into his eyes, I see it and I feel it… I think. That desire, deep inside of me, that I guess every other girl my age feels… the want to kiss Spencer. He’s so close, close enough that I could move my mouth to his and press my lips against his lips. I know it would be amazing, how could it not be?
Obviously it’s a terrible idea, but I feel like my body wants it enough that I can’t stop myself.
I close my eyes and lean toward Spencer, expecting my lips to touch his at any moment. Instead, he pats me on the head and I open my eyes to see him standing up.
“Goodnight, Amy, get some sleep… and drink the rest of the water.”
Spencer turns the lights off as he walks out of the room and the darkness surrounds me as he closes the door. I sigh as I reach for the glass of water and force myself to drink the rest of it. I put my head on the pillow and look up at the ceiling.
I suddenly feel very alone. I don’t think it’s the fact that I’m sleeping in a strange room… I’m sure it has something to do with my mom. I was so mad at her earlier, with reason, but if she leaves I might never see her again… which I’m OK with, I think, but that’s it… if she leaves I have no parents left. Do I really want to live such a lonely life? I’m not sure I have much of a choice.
I roll onto my side and close my eyes. The pounding in my head isn’t quite so bad now, but I’m starting to feel really tired, that and I feel like I can’t keep thinking about everything that’s happened in the last day or so… it’s just making me sad.
Tomorrow will be better… it has to be.