“Are you ready?” Dex says.
I feel like I’m about to die. No… I’m not ready. Not at all.
“Yes… I think so.”
“Good. Just try to be natural… it has to look convincing. When he leans in to kiss you, I want you to look into his eyes… look into his soul. I want you to look like you understand every fiber of his being and then… then I want you to kiss him with every molecule of passion in your body.”
Well… at least he’s not putting any pressure on me. I close my eyes and try to even out my breathing. My heart is beating so fast I’m sure that everyone in the building can hear it. I really believe that nothing in my life up to this point has prepared me for this moment… the moment I kiss Spencer Thomas and it’s recorded for the world to see.
I take a deep breath and nod.
“I’m ready.”
“Good,” Dex says.
He retreats to behind the camera and flashes me a smile. I suddenly feel alone… alone in a room full of people. There must be forty people here—all looking at me and standing at least ten feet away. It’s a very weird feeling, something I don’t think I can even put into words other than it’s making me uneasy.
Spencer walks onto the set and every head in the room, including mine, turns to look at him. He looks as perfect as ever and it’s hard not to stare. He walks up to me and smiles. The sadness in his eyes from yesterday is gone, replaced by the same swagger he usually sports.
“Good morning,” he says.
“Hi.”
“Are you ready to make out?”
There’s a humorous tone to his voice, which actually goes a long way in making me feel less nervous. He obviously knows what he’s doing and I have a feeling this isn’t his first time kissing a very nervous girl in front of a group of what essentially amounts to strangers.
“Are you OK?”
I open my mouth to answer, but no words come out. Spencer smiles and leans his mouth close to my ear.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of… you’re going to be amazing, just like with everything else you do. It’s going to be over in a matter of seconds and then you’ll laugh at yourself for ever being nervous about it… I promise.”
He takes my hand in his and squeezes it as he pulls his head back.
“Thanks.”
I feel a little better, not amazing, but certainly a little calmer. Spencer having faith in me, in addition to Dex, reminds me that they wanted me here… they know what they’re doing and they wouldn’t have asked me to be in the movie if they didn’t think I could handle everything they threw my way.
They have complete trust in me. It’s time for me to start trusting them.
“Are you ready?” Dex says.
Spencer looks at me and I nod. I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be.
“Yeah… we’re ready,” Spencer says, calling over his shoulder.
“Quiet on the set! Action!”
I try to remember exactly what Dex said to me about kissing Spencer, but the moment I look into his eyes it’s all gone… my mind is blank and the only thing I can think about is the gorgeous man standing in front of me.
He looks into my eyes and I feel something new… it’s a spark, deep inside of me. It’s different, in a good way, from anything else I’ve known in my life. I look into his eyes and even if it’s for just a brief moment in time, I feel like there’s nothing more I want than to kiss Spencer… I need to kiss him.
It’s a crazy feeling… something that I’ve never experienced before—not with Mitch or Logan, not on this level at least. It’s like my body knows something that my brain doesn’t.
Spencer lowers his head and presses his lips against mine. I feel an intense heat building deep in my chest before it explodes and shoots through every inch of my body. It fills me with a sense of ultimate happiness as a soft moan escapes my lips. The whole world around me, the cameras and everyone watching, fades and I lose myself completely in Spencer.
I feel Spencer wrap his arm around my waist as he pulls me closer and his tongue passes into my mouth. My own tongue darts out and touches his. I never want this moment to end.
“Cut,” Dex says.
I don’t stop kissing Spencer and he doesn’t pull away from me. He groans as I thrust my tongue into his mouth and he moves his hand from my waist to my ass. Spencer squeezes my butt and I can feel my feet leave the ground briefly as he lifts me up. We finally break our kiss and look into each other's eyes. His gaze feels like a thousand suns beating down on me and I melt. Spencer catches me before I fall over.
“Cut!”
We finally turn to Dex, who is still standing next to the camera. I’m not sure how to describe the look on his face… maybe shock. I see the same look on everyone’s face as I look around the room.
“How was that?” Spencer says.
No one in the room moves and I suddenly realize they are all staring at me. I feel my face turn bright red as I realize I’ve just shared what felt like an incredibly intimate moment with a room full of people I really don’t know.
Dex doesn’t even get a chance to answer Spencer before I put my hands over my face and run. I think I hear my name as I make it out of the building, but I don’t turn around. I’m out of breath as I reach my trailer. I go inside and lock the door behind me. I collapse on the couch and wipe the first tears from my eyes just as they form.
I can’t believe that just happened. It was embarrassing enough, just having people watching, but the fact that it was so intense is what made it worse. It felt so real to me, but I’m sure to Spencer it was just a part of the job. I’m such an idiot. I should have known something like this would have happened.
There’s a knock on my door and I freeze.
“Amy?’
I breathe a sigh of relief. It’s Dex. I was worried it would be Spencer. I don’t think I can even look at him right now, it might kill me. He tries the door and then knocks again.
“Amy, are you in there?”
I take a deep breath and clear my throat before answering.
“Yeah.”
“Can I come in?”
I really just want to curl up into a ball and pretend like I’m alone in the world—it would be less painful than the reality of what just happened, but he’s my boss and I still have to go to his house at the end of the day.
“One second.”
I grab a tissue and dab my eyes to get the tears before they roll down my cheek and I unlock the door. Dex opens it and comes in. He smiles at me and points at the couch. We both walk over and sit down before he says a word.
“Are you alright?”
I shrug. No, I’m not… I just know that I can’t say anything. Not to mention, I feel like I’m making a big deal out of what is probably nothing to the rest of the people who witnessed my kiss with Spencer.
“You can talk to me, really… you can tell me anything, Amy.”
I look at Dex and I can tell he’s willing to listen and not judge me, but still… I’m scared to tell him, or anyone, what I’m feeling right now. I’m not even really sure what I’m thinking other than the fact that I’m embarrassed.
“I… I’m sorry for running off like that.”
Dex nods and looks at me. I expected him to admonish me for running off the set, but he has a kind look in his eyes, like no matter what I say he’s not going to judge me.
“I don’t know… it was… hard. It was hard to do that scene.”
“Why?”
I shrug.
“Was it all the people watching?”
“Not really. I’m not sure what it was.”
“Amy, you can tell me anything… I’m your friend, not just your director.”
I’ve felt like our relationship ran deeper than just work, but it’s still nice to hear the words coming from his mouth.
“I… I don’t know if I can really explain it,” I say.
“Just try.”
I close my eyes and try corralling every thought that’s running through my mind. I want to tell Dex what’s really going on… I’m just worried that he might not understand, that he might think it’s stupid and he will think less of me. I guess that’s a risk I have to take because he seems like he’s not going to leave until I tell him what it is.
“It’s Spencer… I’ve… I don’t know, Dex, I’m not sure how to even explain it…. The other night, the night I spent at his house, we went out to a club and I had a couple of drinks, on accident, and when we got back to his house I tried to kiss him. I’m not sure why I tried, other than maybe because that’s what pretty much every girl wants that looks at him.”
I look back at Dex, expecting him to… I’m not sure what, but I wasn’t expecting him to have a smile on his face.
“You’re not the first, and I’m sure you won’t be the last, girl or woman to feel a strong pull to Spencer. He… he has an intangible quality to affect those around him.”
I nod. Dex is right. Spencer certainly does… I just didn’t think I’d ever fall for that. I guess I was wrong.
“I don’t know… it was just weird. And then I went with him to Colorado, which was fine, but right as were leaving, he brought up the fact that his mom thought we were dating and he didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth. He got emotional and didn’t talk to me, pretty much, until today. I don’t know, it’s just weird.”
Dex sighs and nods. I can tell by the look on his face that he knows the reason for what Spencer did and he’s not about to tell me.
“Give him a chance to tell you himself.”
“But what do I do now? That kiss… I don’t know… it just made me feel so many things.”
Dex laughs and stands up from the couch.
“I don’t know what to tell you about that… you’re going to have to figure out that all by yourself. Only you know how you feel. I can tell you, though, that in all my years in this business I’ve never seen such a convincing kiss… and I’ve worked with husbands and wives.”
Dex smiles at me again as I sit there in shock. Did he just say what I think he did? He walks out of my trailer and I’m alone, again, with my thoughts. Dex didn’t say anything about getting back to the set, so I’m not even really sure what I’m supposed to be doing right now. I know we have a couple more scenes to shoot today. The longer I wait to go back, the worse it is. Everyone is just waiting for me.
I stand up and go to the bathroom. It’s fortunate, what little makeup I had on this morning wasn’t disturbed by the tears as I managed to stop them in time.
“You can do this,” I say, looking into my own eyes in the mirror. “Spencer sees you as a co-worker… everything is all about doing the job well and making Dex proud with the final product. I can do anything he can.”