“Are you ready?” Spencer says, whispering into my ear.
I nod, not even bothering to talk… between the clapping of the audience and the music I don’t think he would even be able to hear me.
I look at Spencer, to see if he’s going to go on stage first, but he holds out his hand. I take a deep breath and walk out. I turn toward the audience, which is maybe two hundred people, and wave to them while trying my best to not squint with the massive amount of lights that are shining in my eyes.
They clap and make noise, but I can tell the moment when Spencer steps onto the stage because everyone goes crazy.
There are two black chairs next to the desk of Lucas. He stands up as we walk toward him. He’s dressed sharply, a gray suit with a white shirt and a dark blue skinny tie. Lucas holds his hand out and shakes mine first and then Spencer’s. We sit down, me in the chair next to the desk and Spencer on my right. I pick up a glass of water from the coffee table and take a drink while we wait for the crowd to settle.
“So,” Lucas says, “Amy, Spencer, thanks for being here.”
“Thanks for having us,” we say.
“My pleasure. Spencer, what have you been up to? I heard you split with your longtime girlfriend, Monica Lister… is it true?”
I’m a little surprised that this is the first question… I guess people care more about drama and celebrity gossip than the film we made.
“Yes, but that’s not why we are here… we are here to talk about our new film.”
Lucas looks surprised by the directness of the answer and nods. He must have been expecting Spencer to try and dodge the question.
“Fair enough,” Lucas says. “Amy, how was working with Dexter Baldwin, say, compared to other directors you’ve worked with.”
“Um, well, this is my first film… so I really have nothing to compare it to, but Dex is amazing. He had a beautiful vision for what he wanted, so we did our best to make good on that.”
His eyes go wide and blinks a few times while looking at me, almost like he’s still trying to process the fact that I was cast as the female lead in an award winning director’s film my first time out. I get that it’s a little crazy for me, but I’m sure it’s not the first time it’s happened.
“OK… Spencer, how did Amy do?”
Lucas’s voice is a little shaky, suggesting this isn’t anywhere close to where he thought this interview would go and he’s not sure what to talk about.
“She… she was amazing. I can’t give her enough praise for the job she did.”
The audience claps briefly.
“When is the movie coming out?”
“Well,” Spencer says, “Dex has been hard at work editing with his team and it should be ready in a couple of weeks… but as for when it’s coming out, that I don’t know. The plan, as far as I know, is that it’s going to hit the festival circuit and I guess after that… I’m not sure, sorry… that’s a question for Dex.”
“We’ll make sure to keep an eye out for it, when it does hit theaters. We have a clip from the film,” Lucas says. “Does one of you want to set it up?’
I turn to Spencer. Dex didn’t mention anything to me about showing a clip, so I have no idea what it is.
“Sure, Lucas. This is the point in the film where the characters finally admit, to themselves and each other, their feelings. It was an emotional journey to this point and they find solace when they finally decide to be together.”
Oh, no. Are we about to watch what I think we are?
“Great, let’s go ahead and roll it.”
We all turn our attention to the large screen behind us and watch as the clips rolls. Crap. It’s exactly what I thought… it’s the kiss.
I wish I could close my eyes and when I open them be back home, in Greenville, and none of this will have ever happened.
I’m not sure why I’m so worked up, really… this is what I signed up for when I agreed to be in the movie. Yeah, I didn’t know that I would have to kiss Spencer and I knew people would see whatever I did, but it’s still scary to be sitting in front of a room full of people watching it and knowing millions could see it. Maybe I’ll get lucky and the world will end before this airs.
I know I’m being silly, but there’s something intimate about a kiss, even when it’s being filmed. I open my eyes as the clip ends and I turn back around. The audience is quiet, silent really. Spencer and I turn to Lucas, who just keeps blinking… not saying anything.
“That,” he says, “that… was… I don’t even know how to explain it other than saying it was… it was perfect.”
He shakes his head and turns back to the audience. They start clapping, even louder than when they saw Spencer. It feels unreal to be sitting here and having this many people impressed by something Spencer and I did. I get that Dex was happy with the kiss, but this is something entirely different.
The audience finally starts to settle down and Lucas turns his attention to the camera straight in front of him.
“We’re going to take a quick commercial break… don’t go anywhere.”
A young guy comes running onto the stage and refills our water glasses. I pick mine up and take another drink. I feel like I’m in a state of shock, or something right now… nothing feels real. Is this really me?
“Spencer?” Lucas says.
“Yeah?”
“I was planning to ask you more about Monica, but I can see that you don’t feel the need…. Would you mind if I asked Amy a few questions instead?”
Spencer laughs and turns to me.
“You should be asking her, not me.”
Lucas turns to me and waits for my answer.
“I… sure, I don’t see why not,” I say.
“Ten seconds!” someone says, from off stage.
Lucas looks over a page of notes on his desk and nods before turning his attention back to the camera directly in front of him. I watch as the cameraman gives him a thumbs up.
“Welcome back to Late with Lucas. So, Amy,” he says, turning to me, “tell us about yourself… where are you from? How old are you? All that fun stuff, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure, Lucas. Well, I’m from a small town called Greenville, that no one has ever heard of… so that’s not really all that exciting.”
“Is that why you ended up in Hollywood? Small town couldn’t contain you any longer?”
I glance over at Spencer as I try to think of how to even answer that. I’m not about to go that deep into my personal life on national TV.
“Yeah, Lucas… something like that.”
“And how old are you?”
“I just turned eighteen two days ago, three days after we wrapped on the film.”
“Happy late birthday,” he says.
“Thanks.”
“How does it feel to finally be… legal.”
I wrinkle my forehead as the audience laughs. I have a pretty good idea what he’s implying and I don’t really like it. I see Lucas look by me, to Spencer, and he swallows and turns his attention to the papers on his desk.
“Umm… so, Amy, I guess… well, can you tell us what film you’re working on next?”
I take a deep breath. I want to refuse to answer him and walk off the stage right now… the longer his comment has to sink in the worse I feel about it, but I remind myself that Dex and Spencer are both counting on me. I can stick it out for a couple more minutes and finish this interview for their sake.
“I’ve got nothing planned… I’m actually heading to college this week, it’s about to start. I don’t have any plans to do any more acting… this was kind of a one time thing for me.”
Lucas looks shocked and stares at me.
“Seriously?”
“Yes… seriously.”
I’m not sure what he’s trying to imply, but I don’t think I like it. He’s starting to really irritate me.
“How did you end up getting cast in the film?”
I decide to skip the part of the story that involves my mom.
“Well, I was working as Dex’s personal assistant and they were trying to cast for the film and didn’t seem happy with any of the girls that were coming in to read. Spencer asked me to read the script, out loud, and so I did. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he had convinced Dex to let me audition. That’s kind of it.”
“Wow… well, that just goes to show everyone out there that you never know when you’ll get your big break in life.”
Lucas forces a smile on his face and turns back to the camera. I’m glad this is over because I don’t know how much longer I can pretend to tolerate him.
“One last commercial break before our last guest of the night… who is it? You’ll have to come back to see… but I’ll give you a hint—if you’re a sports fan, you’re not going to want to miss this.”
The same young guy runs out onto stage and refills our waters again. I start to stand up, but Spencer puts his hand on my arm. I turn to him and flash him a confused look. He leans close to me.
“We are supposed to stay while his next guest is on, that’s how this show works.”
I sit back down and fold my arms across my body. I was really hoping to get out of here as soon as possible. I guess I don’t have much of a choice. I take a deep breath and close my eyes as I try to calm myself down.
The water guy comes back with another chair and sets it down on the other side of the desk. I guess the other guest will be sitting over there. Hopefully it’ll limit the interaction I have with them because I’m not much of a sports fan at all.
Lucas turns back to the camera and flashes another fake smile. Ugh.
“Welcome back to Late with Lucas… my last guest of the night is… well, if you’re a sports fan, he doesn’t need any introduction… please welcome the number one college football prospect heading into this season… Logan Reynolds!!!”
My heart sinks. Is this a bad dream? There’s no way this can really be happening right now.
I look to the other side of the stage and I see Logan walking toward us, his head is turned toward the audience and he’s waving. He turns toward Lucas and stops cold. We lock eyes and I see anger building on his face as he notices Spencer next to me.
It takes everything in me to not jump up and run off the stage… that and Spencer has his hand on my arm. He leans over and I feel his breath against my neck.
“Don’t let him get to you… what happened between you had nothing to do with you… it was all his own doing. Be the bigger, better person that I know you are, Amy.”
I’m glad that one of us has some confidence in me.
Logan shakes Lucas’s hand and sits down, l look away and into the bright lights hanging above the crowd… at this point I’ll take being blind over having to look at Logan.
“So, Logan, how are you?”
Logan doesn’t respond right away… I have a feeling he’s in the same state of shock that’s making me feel paralyzed right now. I’m just glad my interview is done and I can kind of just sit here because I can’t imagine being in his shoes right now—especially since he believes that I was fooling around on him with Spencer… Logan has to be fuming right now.
“Logan?” Lucas says.
“What’s she doing here?”
“Sorry?”
“Why is Amy here?”
“Um… she’s a guest. Do you know her or something?”
The audience is silent as they wait in heightened anticipation. I’m sure they weren't expecting this.
“You could say that,” Logan says.
“Really? Where do you know her from?”
I can tell by the tone of Lucas’s voice that he’s doing his best to push Logan over the edge. Lucas wants nothing more than to see him explode because he knows it’ll be good for ratings… and frankly, I find that insulting and offensive that I’m being forced to be a part of this.
I stand up and walk off the stage. Spencer doesn’t try to stop me this time and when I glance over my shoulder he’s only a few steps behind me. I stop and turn once we are off stage and I rip my mic off and toss it on the floor. Spencer does the same and we start walking again. We head back to the green room and I sit down on the couch. Dex is there, waiting for us. I look up and see a TV that’s showing live what’s happened and notice that Logan’s not on stage and Lucas seems to be panicking. Good.
“I… I’m so sorry,” I say.
I can feel tears starting to well in my eyes. I think there’s a part of me that misses Logan more than I realize and seeing him again has brought those feelings crashing back… that and I wasn’t enjoying being made into a freak show by some rude talk show host. Dex gets up, sits next to me and looks into my eyes.
“Don’t ever apologize for being you… I didn’t like how Lucas was interviewing you and bringing Logan out made it even worse. I don’t blame you for leaving. I would’ve done the same, but I don’t think I would have even stayed as long as you did.”
“I… I didn’t want to let you down.”
Dex starts to laugh.
“Please, you could never disappoint me… you’re amazing in so many ways. If I had a daughter, I would want her to be you.”
That does it. The tears start to stream down my cheeks and Dex wraps his arms around me and gives me the hug I so desperately need. It’s an incredibly sweet thing of him to say.
The three of us look up as Logan walks into the green room. Spencer stands up and walks toward him. I almost expect some kind of altercation, but Logan stops and just looks at me. His eyes plead with me… they aren’t filled with anger, but sadness.
“Spencer, it’s OK,” I say.
Spencer turns around and looks at me as he tries to figure out what I’m thinking. I’m not sure what I’m doing, but I feel like Logan needs to talk to me and I’m not about to deny him that.
“Are you sure?”
I nod. Spencer shrugs and steps aside.
“Can you give us a couple of minutes?” I say.
Spencer shakes his head, but walks out of the room. I’m glad that he’s trying to be a friend and watch out for me, but in this moment I need to stand up for myself and tell Logan how wrong he was about the whole situation.
Dex stands up and walks out of the room. He glances over his shoulder as he walks by Logan, and I expect to feel judged by the look on his face… but there is only understanding and hope. He wants me to be happy, that much is clear and he knows I can decide what that means for me.
Logan sits down in a chair a few feet away from me, opens his mouth to say something and hesitates. I can tell this isn’t going to be easy.
“What are you doing here?” I say.
“I… football is about to start… what are you doing here?”
“I just finished filming… Dex thought we should do some promo before I headed to Salem.”
Logan wrinkles his brow.
“You’re… you’re coming back to Salem?”
“Yeah… school is about to start. I worked hard and we filmed quickly to make that happen.”
Logan stands up and starts to pace. It’s making me a little uneasy, but if it’s going to make it easier for him to think and listen to what I’m about to say I don’t really care.
“Listen, to me,” I say. “I don’t care what you thought may have happened, between me and Spencer… that doesn’t matter now, but I want you to know my thoughts were only of you. Spencer knew I was missing the life I was pulled away from and he was trying to be nice… he’s a friend, a good one, and that’s all he’s ever been or will ever be.”
Logan stops, looks at me and runs his hand through his hair as he tries to process what I just said. I know it’s a lot, neither of us expected to be having this conversation when we woke up this morning. He sits down on the couch next to me and looks into my eyes. I’ve missed him and this is making it even harder. I knew the chance of seeing him during school was decent… I just wasn’t expecting it now.
“Amy… I… I don’t even really know what to say. Sorry? I guess that’s the best word… but it really doesn’t convey the sadness and regret I’m feeling right now.”
Logan looks at the floor and I can see him shake his head, just a little bit.
“Thing is,” he says, “I’m sorry for how I acted and I hope that you can forgive me, but I don’t expect it. I was mean to you and you really didn’t deserve that, even if you had chosen to be with Spencer instead of me, I should have never treated you that way… especially after everything you’ve been through.”
I almost feel like he made a fool out of me. I let myself get so worked up by what he did and I was starting to blame myself for hanging out with Spencer.
“You should have let me explain,” I say. “What you did hurt me. It wasn’t right, or fair for that matter, and it’s something I probably won’t ever forget.”
Logan nods and looks at me. I can see in his eyes that he’s sorry, but that doesn’t change what he did.
“I know and I’m really sorry, more than I can ever explain. Please… please let me make it up to you when you come back to Salem. I still care about you and want to be with you… you just have to give me the chance to show you.”
I sigh and shake my head.
“No.”
“Amy, please?”
“No… there’s some things in life that an apology can’t fix. The past few months of my life have been hectic, crazy really, and when I was in a vulnerable point in my life you… you got so angry at me for something that didn’t happen. Given how we met and how that all went down… I thought you, of all people, would understand that I was just friends with Spencer. I guess I misjudged you.”
I stand up and Logan puts his hand on my arm. I pull my arm away and walk out of the room. There’s no point in him sitting around while he tries to guilt me into giving him another chance. A few months ago I would have probably fallen for that, but now… now I know better. I’m going to be a better me. I don’t ever have to put up with a guy treating me like that ever again.
I round the corner and Dex and Spencer are standing in the hallway.
“Are you alright?” Spencer says.
I look at him and smile… a real smile, one that comes from the happiness of being strong.
“Never been better. Now, let’s go celebrate me making a scene on national television.”