“Aren’t you going in?” Tessa asked, a twinkle in her blue eyes.
With Christmas fast approaching in nine days, Tessa, Emily and Francesca had decided to go Christmas shopping Wednesday evening. Emily had met Francesca and Tessa at the Yellow Rose Diner for supper and then they’d proceeded to wander in and out of the specialty shops. Francesca had already found Grady a Christmas present online that she hoped would please him.
Now the three of them were standing in front of his saddle shop.
“He asked you to live with him,” Emily reminded her. “The least you could do is stop in and say hello.” Her voice wasn’t as much scolding as it was teasing.
Francesca had told her friends what Grady had suggested. They’d both remained neutral on the subject. “What are you two going to do if I do stop in?”
Tessa pointed to a bookstore. “I need books for the kids and a biography Vince is interested in.”
“If you finish first, come find us,” Emily suggested. “If we finish, we’ll come find you.”
Francesca hadn’t spoken to Grady since his family gathering on Sunday. The atmosphere between them had been strained as he’d driven her home. She knew why. He wanted access to his child and inviting her to live with him was the best way to get it.
“I won’t be long,” she assured them.
“I can spend hours in a bookstore,” Tessa said. “So don’t hurry on my account.”
“Same here,” Emily agreed.
After encouraging looks, they headed off across the street.
Francesca composed herself, attempting to appear placid, and opened the door to Grady’s shop. Maybe he wouldn’t be working tonight. If that was the case, seeing him was a moot point. Yet she realized she wanted to see him and that fact bothered her, too.
The bell over the door jangled as she stepped inside. She hadn’t been in the front of the shop before. It was quaintly attractive with saddles on pedestals. Shelves displayed leather goods—from bridles to key chains braided with horsehair to a display of Navajo blankets. No one stood at the counter and cash register to the rear of the display area, but Francesca heard voices not far away—a man’s and a woman’s. She realized there was a small room off the front area of the shop and didn’t know whether to venture into it or not.
Instead, she called, “Hello.”
Grady emerged from the small room with what looked like a sample catalog in his hand. “Francesca! What are you doing here?”
A pretty, young woman with strawberry-blond hair, freckles on her nose and a Stetson with a chin tie followed him. She was holding a bridle.
Francesca didn’t have a chance to answer his question before he added, “I’ll be with you in a minute. I have to add a few things to Cassidy’s order.”
When Cassidy peered at Francesca inquiringly, Grady introduced them. “Francesca Talbot, Cassidy Dugas. Cassidy, Francesca.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Cassidy said, then turned back to Grady. “You’ll have everything ready by the end of January?”
“At the latest,” he assured her. “You want the saddle for your brother’s birthday.”
There was a note of familiarity in Grady’s voice that told Francesca Cassidy Dugas was more than a customer. When Cassidy replied, she was sure of it.
“I want to surprise Jesse, so if he comes in, don’t give anything away.”
“I wouldn’t do that.”
Cassidy took some bills from her purse. “How much do you need for the down payment?”
“I usually require half.”
The pretty woman’s face fell. “I only have a third. I can give you the rest next week when I get paid.”
“That’s fine.” He winked at her. “I know where you live. I can always confiscate that wagon I like so much.”
She laughed, and in that laugh Francesca knew they’d been close at one time. She felt deep disappointment in her chest. Maybe it wasn’t disappointment. Maybe it was something else she didn’t even want to think about.
“I told you, if Jesse ever wants to sell that wagon I’ll let you know.” Cassidy gave him a smile that was feminine and teasing.
After Grady took her money, he rang up her down payment.
Cassidy waited for the receipt, glanced at Francesca, gave her a nod and then left the shop.
Off-balance at the interplay between Grady and Cassidy Dugas, Francesca stepped up to the counter. She said, “I could have come back later.”
Grady didn’t comment, but came around the counter. “Have you been doing some Christmas shopping?”
“With Tessa and Emily. They’re over at the bookstore.”
“And you stopped in to—”
“I stopped in to be…friendly, that’s all. But I didn’t know I was going to interrupt something.”
“You didn’t interrupt anything.”
She knew what she’d seen hadn’t simply been a shop owner and customer relationship. “Did you date her?”
“If I had, would you be jealous?” His eyes twinkled and he tried to keep from smiling.
When she didn’t respond, just stood there, purse in hand, he shrugged. “I dated Cassidy a few years ago. Her brother and I were in school together. We went to the movies a few times and then to Lubbock for dinner. But it didn’t go anywhere. She’s a wonderful woman, but I couldn’t forget about Susan. And Cassidy wasn’t…she doesn’t sleep around.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I answered your question, now you answer mine.”
“Of course I’m not jealous,” she blurted out. “Why would I be?”
He took the purse from her arm and set it on the counter. Then he laid his hand on her belly, which was getting rounder by the day. “Because I’m the father of your baby. Because, whether you’ll admit it or not, you like me just a little.”
She finally had to admit to herself she liked Grady a whole lot. If she liked him any more…
She’d be falling in love with him.
No. She would not let that happen. She was not opening herself to getting hurt. Dreams like that were as wispy as the morning fog.
Coming closer to her, he clasped her shoulders. “Sometimes, Frannie, you can’t hide everything you’re feeling.”
When he bent his head, she thought about pulling away. She knew she should. Every time he kissed her, their physical attraction blossomed. But the thought of being held in Grady’s arms was too tempting to resist. Sometimes she hated being alone. Sometimes she longed for a bond that would last a lifetime. Was that a dream? She hoped not…because she didn’t believe dreams came true.
His lips were warm on hers, mobile, coaxing. Everything about Grady was…coaxing. His “Aw, shucks, I’m just a cowboy, I didn’t mean to tempt you” attitude was disarming. Somehow his smile, his gentleness and his innate sexiness curled around her defenses until she wondered what had happened to them! Even now, as she was aware of what occurred every time she was near him, that awareness didn’t seem to matter. All that mattered was the grip of his large hand on her shoulders, the scent of him—cologne and man mixed with leather—the sensual provocativeness of his lips on hers. Thoughts galloped into that neverland of pleasure.
Pleasure increased when his tongue slipped inside her mouth. That pleasure was a tinderbox of desire. Her hands slid to his waist, tunneled under his leather vest to his flannel shirt. He was hard under that shirt, his muscles honed from ranch work and riding. She ached to really touch him again, to find out if the second union of their bodies could be as good as the first. Yet most men didn’t find pregnant women attractive. Many men found pregnancy off-putting.
Pregnancy. Having Grady’s baby. Figuring out what was best for their son.
She stilled and Grady slowly ended the kiss. Then he leaned back and studied her. “Now tell me if you weren’t just a little bit jealous.”
She couldn’t hide the truth now. “Maybe I was. Just a little.”
He laughed. “Well, I’m glad we got that settled. And actually I’m glad you stopped in. I was going to call you when I got home.”
“What about?”
“My family always gets together on Christmas Eve. We go to evening Mass and then back to my parents’ to exchange gifts. I’d like you to join us.”
“I’m going to be on-call Christmas Eve. The hospital’s always short-staffed over the holidays.”
“If you get called in, so be it. But if not, I think you’d enjoy yourself. We sing Christmas carols and everything.”
He added the last so tongue-in-cheek, she had to smile. “Tessa and Emily both asked me to join their families, but I don’t think they’d mind if I spent Christmas Eve with you.”
He studied her for a few long moments and then asked, “Do you really want to spend Christmas Eve with my family? Because I don’t want you to do this out of some misguided duty to our unborn child. Sometimes I can’t read you, Frannie, so be straight with me.”
If she labeled this “duty” she’d be deluding herself. But she hated feeling vulnerable with anyone, and that included Grady. “Did you invite me out of duty?”
He shook his head with a wry smile. “You’re good. Just when I think I’m making progress—”
“Progress goes two ways.”
“I guess it does,” he admitted. “No, I’m not asking you out of duty. I’d like you to be there. Laurie and my mother would like you to be there. The more the merrier.”
“I want to come, Grady. Yes, I’d like to begin a tradition for our baby, but…” She hesitated, then plunged in. “But I like being with you.”
“And that scares you, doesn’t it?”
She nodded.
“We could just be parents with benefits,” he joked. “Maybe you should think about that.”
She had a lot to think about—Grady’s sense of duty and responsibility to his child, their attraction to each other. But she had the feeling Grady didn’t let his mind go beyond that, and she shouldn’t, either.
Parents with benefits? Sex should be the last thing on her mind right now. Yet when she looked into Grady’s eyes her body quickened in response. He threw everything in her life into confusion.
“I’d better go,” she murmured, knowing she was running away.
He knew it, too. But he thought she was only running from the chemistry. He was wrong. She lifted her purse from the counter.
“I’ll pick you up at six-thirty.”
“Six-thirty will be fine.”
As she turned to leave, he called, “Frannie.”
She glanced back at him.
“Don’t think so much.”
She couldn’t respond, just pulled open the door and left his shop. Thinking was much safer than feeling, she reminded herself as she headed toward the bookstore and her friends.
On Christmas Eve, Francesca sat beside Grady on the sofa at his parents’ condo after church services. It was as if they were a couple—yet weren’t. Grady didn’t touch her in front of his parents. She didn’t know how she felt about that. Their relationship wasn’t clear, that was true. But she also felt Grady was holding back. They weren’t so very different after all.
As the children and adults finished their light buffet supper, Grady leaned closer to her. “I have your present at the ranch. I didn’t bring it along. Do you want to stop there on the way home?”
She’d brought his present along. But she wouldn’t mind privacy to give it to him. “Would you like to open yours here or do you want to save it for later?”
“Let’s save it. I can put a couple of logs on the fire, we can put Christmas carols on, and I can give Shadow his new chew toy, too.”
She laughed and it felt good. Her whole experience tonight with church and his family had been heart-catching. She saw how close this family was. Would her child be a part of this? How could she deny any child this type of togetherness?
“You’ve been quiet tonight,” Grady murmured close to her ear. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking your family doesn’t realize how special they are. When I was a little girl, I would have done anything, said anything, been anything to have this kind of family—parents who hug their kids, grandparents who don’t feel kids are a bother.” She abruptly stopped. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have let all of that spill out.”
“You can let whatever you want spill out. We’re friends now, aren’t we?”
Was that what they were? She couldn’t help but ask, “Like you and Cassidy are friends?”
“No,” he admitted. “There are sparks between us that I never had with Cassidy.”
As Francesca absorbed that, Patrick Fitzgerald stood and handed out the presents under the tree. She was surprised when she received gifts from Laurie, Jenna and Maureen. After she’d left Grady that night in the saddle shop, she’d found gifts for his parents, brothers and sister. For Patrick she’d bought a book about old saddles, for Maureen a cookbook of favorite Irish recipes. She’d picked up lotions and bath products for Jenna and Laurie. John, Liam and Mark seemed to be prime candidates for treats from the candy shop. She’d had the most fun buying books for the children according to their age ranges.
When she opened Laurie’s present, she discovered a delicate multicolored crocheted scarf. “It’s beautiful,” she told her.
“I make them in my spare time.”
Francesca draped the scarf around her neck. It was perfect with her off-white sweater. “Thank you so much.” Impulsively she gave Laurie a hug.
Grady’s sister looked pleased and hugged her back.
Jenna’s present was a small trinket box in the shape of a butterfly decorated with crystals. Francesca thanked her and gave her a hug, too.
Maureen stood by her side as Francesca unwrapped her gift. It was a mother’s book, where she could record everything in her life she wanted her child to know. When she stood to give Maureen a hug, she was a little more hesitant, but Maureen wasn’t.
Grady’s mom gathered her in her arms and squeezed her tight. “We want you and your baby to feel at home with us. Will you remember that?”
Tears came to Francesca’s eyes as she nodded. “Yes, I’ll remember that.”
The only one who had been standoffish all evening was Liam. Now, as everyone disposed of wrapping paper and ribbons, as Grady went to the kitchen to refill their glasses, Liam sank down next to Francesca on the love seat. “Thanks for the candy.”
“You’re welcome. I hope you like cashew brittle.”
“I didn’t get you anything.”
“Christmas isn’t about that.”
He gave her a quizzical look. “What do you mean? Everyone exchanged gifts.”
“At Christmas you should give gifts because you want to, not because you have to.”
He thought about that, then he asked, “Are you going to quit work after the baby’s born and let Grady take care of you?”
She didn’t know where Liam was coming from—if he was bitter because his wife had done that or if he was just trying to protect Grady. “I don’t intend to quit working.”
“How are you going to take care of the baby and be a doctor, too?”
“Women have families and careers these days,” she pointed out to him.
He grunted. “That might work in theory.”
“Grady asked me to move in with him. Did he tell you that?”
Liam’s eyes narrowed. “Are you going to?”
“I don’t know yet. My last relationship wasn’t good for me, so I’m not rushing into anything now.”
“Grady shouldn’t rush into anything, either,” Liam muttered.
“I know about Chicago,” she said, wanting him to realize she knew how Grady had been hurt.
“Then you see we all just want to protect him. If you run off with his baby, it would tear him apart.”
“I don’t intend to go anywhere, not for a while anyway.”
“What does that mean?” Liam asked suspiciously.
“It just means that I want my child to see more than Sagebrush. I want him to know there’s a great big world out there that he can explore if he wants to.”
“Mom said you were deeper than you looked.”
“Excuse me?”
“Now, don’t get all mad. That was a compliment. In my estimation, pretty women use their looks to get what they want. Sometimes that’s all they’ve got, good looks. But you, you’ve got more than that. That’s what Grady says, too.”
“What else does Grady say?” Maybe she could figure out what he felt from what he’d told his brother.
“He says you’re a challenge.”
“He makes me sound like that wild mustang he adopted,” she muttered.
Liam laughed. “I don’t know about that, but Grady never has liked ‘easy,’ so a challenge could be a good thing.”
The thing was, she had been easy the first night they’d met. For the first time in her life, she’d let her barriers down.
“Anyway,” Liam added, “I’m sorry I didn’t get you a present. So…how about if after the baby’s born, I teach you how to ride? Grady says you don’t know how.”
“Are you patient?” she joked.
“I can be,” he replied.
Whether Liam did take her riding or he didn’t, she appreciated his offer. “I’d like to learn how to ride. After the baby’s born, we’ll set it up.”
Liam nodded, stood, turned away and then swung back to her again. “I just want you to know I think you’re pretty brave taking on this family. That’s not something just anyone could do.” Then he went to the kitchen and picked up a fresh plate.
She wasn’t brave. She was just hungering for a family of her own. But she wouldn’t make the mistake of believing Grady could lead to that family if there was no trust between them. If all he was interested in was his child, how could she trust him?
After Grady lit a log in the fireplace at his ranch an hour later, he took Shadow out for a run. Francesca wandered around the living room, remembering when his house had felt like a home.
She set his present on the coffee table. The raffia ties and the green holly paper were masculine enough. She just hoped he liked it. Instead of worrying, she went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of milk and a glass of apple cider for Grady.
Moments later, Shadow came bounding in, his master right behind him. Grady was still dressed from Christmas services in a blue cable-knit sweater with a gray turtleneck underneath, gray trousers and black boots.
He spotted the cider. “Thanks. You remembered.”
She thought it was best not to reply. To her dismay, she remembered everything about Grady, everything about their time together, every conversation they’d exchanged.
“Do you want your present first?” he asked with a grin.
She looked under the tree and didn’t see any wrapped packages.
“Oh, it’s too big for under the tree,” he explained, reading her thoughts. “It’s in the spare room.” Suddenly he crossed to her and took her hands. “Close your eyes.”
“Grady…”
“Close your eyes and trust me.”
Trust him—not to lead her into harm or danger or into something she couldn’t handle. But at some point she had to take this leap of faith, even if they were just going to parent together.
“My eyes are closed. I promise I won’t peek.”
“And you’re a woman who keeps your promises.”
“As well as I can.”
“That’s the best any of us can do. Come on now, put your hand on my shoulder and follow me.”
It was the oddest sensation walking down the dimly lit hall. Grady’s sweater was soft, yet coarse under her hand. She could feel the straight strength of his back. If she bumped into him, their baby would touch his hip.
At the doorway to the room she didn’t bump into him, but she came very close.
He turned, however, and took both of her hands in his, both the free one and the one in the cast. “Just come straight ahead,” he ordered her. “There’s nothing to trip over.”
She could feel the floor beneath her feet and believed him. When he turned on the light, the shadows behind her eyes weren’t as dense.
He said, “Okay, you can look now.”
A beautiful, polished wood computer desk stood in front of her. It was compact with a removable hutch. “Grady! Where did you—? How did you—? This is too much!”
He pulled her arms along his sides, careful not to hurt her casted one. “No, it’s not too much. I wasn’t going to get you something you didn’t need. You said you needed a computer desk.”
“But I didn’t mean for you—”
“Would it make you feel better if I told you I got it on sale?”
She studied him, trying to gauge his truthfulness.
He shrugged. “It’s one of those pieces of furniture that you’ll be able to hand down someday.”
When she looked up at Grady, she couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat. He was a good man. Had she ever thought she’d meet one of those?
Finally, she managed to say, “I do appreciate your gift. I’ll have a place to work now.”
There was a glimmer in Grady’s eyes that told her he was going to kiss her if they kept standing here. So she stepped back, grabbed his hand and said, “Now let’s go see if you like your present.”
A few moments later they’d settled on the sofa. She handed him the package and he balanced it on his lap. “Is it breakable?”
“Could be.”
“Does it have moving parts?”
“Not exactly. Go on, open it.”
“Anticipation is a wonderful thing,” he teased.
“But anticipation isn’t the real event. You’ve got to get past it to find that.” When she glanced at Grady, she realized they weren’t talking about his Christmas present any longer.
She felt her body warm in anticipation of feeling even closer to Grady. Tonight had been about family and acceptance and Christmas. Now they were left with just the two of them.
Grady untied the green raffia and slipped off the holly paper. When he lifted the lid off the box, he found two pieces of Styrofoam taped together. He separated them and discovered a handcrafted painted pony inside.
“It’s beautiful,” he said, noticing the artist’s name on the horse. “How did you get one of hers? I heard this year’s were all sold out. She only paints three hundred to sell every Christmas.”
“I found it online. I noticed your collection by the fireplace the first day I was here.”
“No one has ever given me one of these. The ones I’ve found, I’ve found on my own. Thank you. I like the horse painted on the horse’s side. It’s a freedom horse, right?”
“It’s also known as a spirit horse, but yes, it represents freedom.”
Carefully he set the horse on the coffee table. Then he leaned toward her. “I think a thank-you kiss is in order.”
“How’s that different from a regular kiss?” she joked, suddenly nervous.
“Let’s try it and see.” His voice was smoky with desire and she suspected he’d been waiting for this all night. To be honest with herself, she had been, too. What would Christmas Eve be without Grady’s kiss?
Before tonight, Christmas hadn’t seemed special. It had been a holiday that had reminded her of a longing for deep and abiding love, the respect and loyalty of someone who knew her and accepted her the way she was. Grady seemed to understand where she came from and where she wanted to go. More than that, he seemed to understand what she wanted for their child—two parents who would put that baby boy ahead of their own desires, wishes and aspirations. Would Grady be the perfect father? Could he be more?
The fire pop, pop, popped, and its hickory scent sailed on the draft. The odor of pine was strong, too. Grady’s kiss brought to mind Christmas sleigh bells, favorite carols, smiles when gifts were given and received. Bows and shiny ornaments were only part of the story. Hearts ready to receive love were the other part. Could she love again? Could she accept love? Could Grady?
He was kissing her now, as if that was the only Christmas gift he wanted to give her. She touched his face, then laced her fingers in his hair.
He groaned, then pulled away, breathing hard. Recovering enough breath to speak, he said, “I want you to stay the night with me, Frannie. Will you?”