When Grady walked into his house the following evening, a feeling overcame him he’d never experienced before. There was an aroma of something cooking in the oven. Joshua was sleeping in his car carrier, which was sitting on the counter, while Francesca made a salad.
“Hi,” she said with a smile. “He just fell asleep again so I’m trying to put the rest of dinner together.”
All too well he remembered the feel of Francesca in his arms last night. She’d slept. He hadn’t during the first few hours. He’d been aroused and tried to distract himself from that with thoughts of the career Joshua might choose, the colleges he might attend. But he’d still been aware of Francesca’s soft body against his, her silky hair escaping its topknot on the pillow, the satin of her gown against his legs. When Joshua had cried, he’d told her to go back to sleep, and he’d gotten up and fed him a bottle, appreciating every moment of holding him.
The next time she’d gotten up and told him to go back to sleep. That time he had…until his alarm had beeped. Then he’d wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her, but something had held him back. She could go back to the Victorian at any time and take his son with her.
So now instead of kissing Francesca, he concentrated on Joshua. “Do you want me to lay him in his crib?”
“Would you? The chicken will be ready soon. Maybe we can eat before he wakes up again.”
A few minutes later in Joshua’s room, Grady adjusted the baby monitor. He was standing at the crib, smoothing his baby’s wispy, dark brown hair, when he heard Francesca’s cell phone ring.
Her leave of absence had started, but maybe the neonatal unit already needed her for a consultation.
He stood where he was, not wanting to eavesdrop, but unable to avoid it since her voice carried down the hall. Maybe because she was surprised by the caller.
“Darren?”
Grady’s heart rate stepped up its pace.
“Thank you for the offer, but I’ll have to pass.”
Offer for what? Grady thought.
“But why should I need to go to dinner with you just to discuss my part-time position? Right now it’s hard to get away. All of my time and attention are being taken up by the baby. Whatever you need to discuss, we can do it over the phone, can’t we?…Yes, Chez Marie’s would be very nice, but Darren—”
Grady heard the hesitation in her voice.
“I’m living with Grady now.”
There was a long pause and Grady wondered if that was on Darren’s side or hers.
“I know ‘living with’ isn’t ‘married to.’ But as I said, my hands are full with a new baby. I know you’re close to Dr. Gutieras and of course I’d appreciate a good word from you, but I can’t go to dinner with you, Darren. Our personal relationship is over. You’re a great doctor and I’ll consult with you, but a professional relationship is all we’re going to have.”
Grady heard only silence now, not even a goodbye, and he wondered what had happened. After he exited Joshua’s room, he heard the sound of Francesca chopping celery on the cutting board. She was chopping very fast and looked frazzled.
He wasn’t going to pretend he hadn’t overheard the conversation. “That was your old boyfriend?”
The look she gave him told him he shouldn’t use that terminology, even in sarcasm. “What did Whitcomb want?”
“Basically, he wanted me to go out with him.” She chopped some more.
“To discuss working part-time? What does he have to do with it?”
“He shouldn’t have anything to do with it!” she said angrily. “It’s up to the board. But he knows Dr. Gutieras very well. They play golf, they go out for drinks, they play cards together, and I think he wanted to barter. If I went out to dinner with him, he’d put in a good word for me, say that keeping me on part-time would be beneficial for the hospital.”
“And if you don’t go to dinner with him?”
“We didn’t get that far. I reminded him we weren’t going to have a personal relationship.”
“So now what do you think he’s going to do?”
“I don’t know. I hope nothing. But if he’s angry about our splitting up, if he’s angrier still now that he tried to resurrect our relationship and I rebuffed him, I don’t know what will happen. The worst will be that I will either have to go back full-time or lose my job. I’ll deal with whatever happens. I always have.” Her voice had picked up firm determination.
“But you want to work part-time, right?”
She brushed her hair from her cheek, looking beautiful…but tired. “Yes, I do. Very much.”
Following his instincts now, he went to her, took the knife from her hand and put his arms around her. “You’ll get the part-time position. I know you will.”
He would make sure that she did. She was not going to feel pressured by Darren Whitcomb about her job. His father was on the hospital board. Grady could ask him to call his cronies who were also on the board and pave the way for Francesca’s request to work part-time. This problem was solved as easy as that. But he didn’t want to tell Francesca what he had planned. He wanted to make it happen first.
Holding her, he stroked his hand through her hair and wished to hell he could take her to bed. That might eliminate all the tension between them. That might lead her to tell him what she was thinking and feeling about where they were going to go from here.
Yet if the board meeting was the day after tomorrow, he’d better get out to the barn and make the call. Pulling away from her, he rubbed his thumb across her chin. “I have to go out to the barn and do some chores. Do I have a few minutes before supper?”
“Sure. I still have to cook the rice.”
He should tell her he liked having her here. He should tell her supper was the least of it. But he didn’t…because he didn’t have the courage to think about what the most of it might be.
Francesca had just laid Joshua down for his afternoon nap—the hospital board meeting on her mind—when her cell phone rang. Her heart sped up a little as she thought the caller might be Grady. However, when she checked the caller ID, she saw the call was coming from Dr. Gutieras’s private number. Was the chief of staff calling her with good news or bad news?
After hellos, he said, “I’ll get right to the point. I just wanted to let you know that your part-time position was approved. You’ll be receiving an official letter in the mail, but I thought you’d like to know sooner rather than later.”
“Thank you, Dr. Gutieras. This means a lot. I really was afraid the board might not go for the idea.”
“Well,” he drawled, “the calls from Patrick Fitzgerald didn’t hurt. But you already had the votes you needed.”
She was puzzled. “Calls?”
“Patrick has been a member of this board for three years now and is well liked. He’s also respected, so his vote of confidence goes a long way. And as I said, I could tell by the way the wind was blowing that you already had the votes you needed.”
And just why would Grady’s father make the calls unless Grady had asked him to? She felt first frustration and then anger rising up inside her. She didn’t want Grady interfering in her career. Was this the way he’d handle their son? Try to smooth the way and not let him make his own way?
After another thank-you and goodbye to the chief of staff, Francesca wandered the house, restless and upset. Maybe this had nothing to do with Grady. Maybe his father had decided on his own to make the calls on her behalf.
She was still ruminating as she prepared a pot roast and set it in the oven at a low heat. Next she checked her laptop and found her recipe for chocolate pudding. Fifteen minutes later, she was pouring it into custard cups.
The door opened and she was surprised to see Grady. “You’re home early.” She tried to keep her tone neutral. Was he home because he already knew the verdict from the board?
“Word has it there’s going to be a wind and snow storm this afternoon. I told everybody to go home. I didn’t want them driving in that.”
He took off his jacket and tossed it over a kitchen chair. “Something smells good.”
“Is the weather the real reason you came home early today?”
“What other reason?”
“Tell me something. Did you ask your dad to make calls to board members on my behalf?”
His guilty look was the answer. “Francesca—” he began.
“Why did you believe you could exert control over my career?”
“Don’t make it sound so dramatic!” he said. “If everyone wasn’t on your side and you needed a couple of votes, what was the harm? Whitcomb might have been able to hurt you by voting it down.”
“It sounds as if your father could influence enough board members that that would never happen.”
“It was a long shot. When I told Dad about it, he wanted to help. I don’t see what the harm is, Frannie. What’s the problem?”
She couldn’t believe he really didn’t know her yet…that he hadn’t realized her independence meant everything to her. “The problem is, I didn’t know what Darren was going to do and it didn’t really matter. I had talked to each of those board members. They knew my reasons for wanting a part-time position, as well as insurance benefits to go with it. It was no secret that lots of mothers might like similar positions. And what if Darren had pushed against it, simply for old times’ sake? He could have pushed, but I still made my point with other members. They all have equal votes.”
Grady harrumphed. “He’s a cardiologist. The other members are teachers, business owners, a plumber. His influence could have swayed them.”
“The board is set up to have balance from the hospital and the community,” she reminded him impatiently.
Grady plopped his hat on the hat shelf. “Why are you so angry?”
“I shouldn’t even have to tell you.”
He took her by her arm and swung her around. “Explain it to me.”
She stared him straight in the eye. “I want to live my own life, Grady. I want to run my own life. I want Joshua to learn to run his. I’ll take care of him, I’ll support him, but I won’t go over his head to affect what’s going to happen to him. That’s control. When I learned your father had made those calls and you had probably asked him to do it, I felt as if you were trying to take control of my life…of our child’s life.”
“Getting that part-time slot might not have been so easy if Whitcomb had interfered,” Grady still insisted.
“I would have fought my own battle if it had come to that. I think he finally realized from our conversation that what he did or didn’t do wouldn’t make any difference because he and I are finished. What were you trying to do, compete with him?” She didn’t get a “don’t be ridiculous,” and that was an insight in itself.
Grady threw up his hands in frustration. “I was just trying to help.”
“Well,” she protested, “help is assuring me that no matter what happens, I’ll find a way to work and take care of Joshua. What you did was take control. You want control over what happens to me, how I live my life and how I raise our child!”
“You bet I want control over how you raise our child. Just wait until he learns to drive and sneaks some beer. You’re going to want control like hell then.”
“My son won’t drink and drive.” Her voice was higher and louder than she intended.
“My son won’t, either, because he’ll have the right values. He’ll be able to come to me and trust what I tell him.”
“And you don’t believe he’ll be able to trust what I tell him?”
“What you and I tell him has to match, even if you’re living on one side of town and I’m on the other.”
“How can they match if we don’t talk about the situation first?” He hadn’t discussed with her bringing his father into the mix.
Now Grady looked angry, too. He grabbed his hat down from the rack, brushed it against his thigh, and then plopped it onto his head again.
“Why didn’t you trust me, Grady, to let this play out the way it should? Why didn’t you trust that I’d find another job if I had to? Why didn’t you trust that I would do what was right for our baby?”
“And what about me? What if the right thing for you is moving back to Oklahoma?”
She gazed up at him with absolute sadness. “You still believe I might take your child from you. And I have to wonder, Grady, in the dead of night, do you still wish you would have had a DNA test taken?”
“No!” he erupted. “I have no doubt Joshua is my child. But I do have doubts that you’ll stay.”
How could she stay when he didn’t love her?
He lowered the brim on his Stetson. “I think we’d better shut this down before it gets nasty. I’m going out for a while.”
As he grabbed his jacket and left, she wanted to call out to him. But she couldn’t. Not because she was afraid of his anger. Down deep inside, she knew Grady was a different man from her father…a different man from Darren. She didn’t call out because she was afraid if she did, she’d find out she loved him with all her heart…but that love wasn’t returned.
The wind roared as Grady drove to Liam’s. His brother was surprised when Grady turned up on the steps of the row house he rented.
He beckoned him to come in with a warning over his shoulder. “You shouldn’t be out. The wind’s already over thirty-five miles per hour. It’s supposed to go to fifty…with snow. What are you doing here?”
Grady didn’t soft-pedal what was going on. “Francesca’s upset. I had Dad make phone calls on her behalf to the board members.”
“So she could get that part-time job?”
“Dad told you?”
“Yeah, he told me. He tells me everything. He tells you everything, too. And John. So why was she upset? Didn’t she get the job?”
Grady opened the snaps on his jacket and lowered himself to the sofa. “She got the job. But the chief of staff told her she had the number of votes she needed before Dad made those phone calls.”
“Oh, that was great of him. But I still don’t get it. Why is she upset?”
“I told Dad to make the calls. She sees that as trying to control her life.”
“You didn’t ask her if she wanted Dad to make the calls?” Liam’s voice sounded incredulous. He didn’t even give his brother time to answer as he went on, “That’s psychology 101 with women, Grady. You have to ask if it’s what they want before you do it. Hell, that’s why my marriage broke up. I never asked. I never really even knew what she needed. What does Francesca need?”
“She needs—” Grady stopped. “She had a rough childhood.”
“Abuse?” Liam asked soberly.
Grady nodded.
His brother whistled low. “Then you can’t put her in a position where she thinks you’re making all the decisions and ordering her around.”
“I don’t do that.”
“I asked around about her,” Liam admitted. “I learned she lived with that cardiologist at the hospital before she moved in with Tessa Rossi. A friend of mine saw him for heart palpitations. He said he’s a cold SOB. He smiles, but there’s nothing behind it, unless another doctor is around. So if that’s what she was dealing with before—can you imagine how hard it was for her to move in with you?”
Snow pinged against the windows. The howl of the cold front moving in told them its force was getting stronger.
Liam was right about Francesca. She was one gutsy lady. How much courage had it taken her to tell him about the pregnancy? How much courage had it taken her the day of her accident to call him again? He knew why she’d done it. She’d done it for the sake of their child. What had she said? She’d said she wanted their son to have another parent to rely on if need be. When she’d moved in with him, he’d insisted he was doing that for their child, too. But was he? Maybe his reasons had been more selfish than he wanted to admit.
The storm raged outside. Snow swirled and veiled whatever was on the other side of it. Francesca and Joshua should not be at the ranch alone in weather like this. She probably didn’t even know he had a backup generator if the electricity went out. If the electricity went out—
Grady shot up from the sofa.
“Where are you going?” Liam demanded to know.
“Back to the ranch. Francesca shouldn’t be there alone.”
“Wait until this blows through.”
“That’s the point, Liam. I don’t want it to blow through with her there and me here. I need to be with her and Joshua.”
“Maybe you should admit what that means,” Liam suggested.
“I’m older than you. You shouldn’t be giving me advice.”
“Isn’t that why you came?”
“Hell, no. I just came to…to sort things out.”
“Are they sorted?” Liam asked with a wry smile.
Grady thought about Francesca at that ranch with snow building up, the wind blowing against the shutters, cold drafts swirling through the house. Oh, yeah, he’d sorted it out. He’d been a damn fool not to have done it before now.
The sound of the wind moaned louder than Francesca had ever heard it. Snow cascaded down, frosting tree limbs, fence lines and ground cover. Where was Grady? That truck could handle almost anything, but still—
Joshua lay at her breast, nursing. As he did and she touched his little cheek, tears ran down hers.
What had she done?
Thinking about the past few months, Francesca knew she’d fallen irrevocably in love with Grady. Fear had kept her from telling him her feelings.
Suddenly she remembered what Vince had told her. He’d said, “Watch what Grady does, rather than thinking about what he doesn’t say.”
At the time she’d thought he’d given her a riddle. But now she realized what Vince had meant. Everything Grady had done since he’d arrived at her hospital room had shown her how much he cared. He’d made her breakfast and lunches and dinners. He’d driven her to the hospital because she needed to be there. She’d thought all of it had been about the baby. But had it?
Could he possibly have deep feelings for her, too? Could he possibly love her?
Joshua had fallen asleep now. She wanted just to hold him in her arms and never put him down. Yet she had to prepare herself for Grady’s return.
A small, scared voice inside her head asked, What if he doesn’t come back tonight? Wasn’t that what she was most afraid of? Hadn’t she given him plenty of reason not to want to come back?
As she laid Joshua in his crib, she realized her fear of loving Grady and expressing that love to him had muddled her thinking. He was a confident man, a man who was used to getting what he wanted most of the time. Yet he never used force, never used manipulation. He might be firm sometimes, but he was also tender and gentle and kind. She’d never had a man want to protect her before. Maybe that’s why it had felt so strange. Maybe that’s why she’d thought protectiveness was the same thing as control. But it wasn’t. There was a difference. He wanted to protect her because he cared about her. At least she hoped that was true.
After she had adjusted the monitor in Joshua’s room, she started his mobile. It played a soft tune and the moaning of the wind wasn’t quite as invasive.
In the living room, she started a fire in the fireplace. When the logs caught, she closed the fire screen. If Grady was out in this storm, he’d be wet and cold when he returned. She could try to call him. But did she want to tell him her innermost feelings over a crackling phone? She doubted a cell phone signal would hold in this storm.
In the cupboard she found the thermos Grady sometimes used when he went to the barn. She heated milk on the stove, stirring in hot chocolate mix. While that was warming, she made a pot of coffee in case he’d prefer that. While the coffee brewed, she poured the hot chocolate into the thermos and capped it. Not knowing what else to do, she went to the front window and stared out into the storm, hoping the man she loved was safe…hoping he’d return soon.
Grady skidded around the last curve, warning himself to slow down. He wouldn’t be any good to Francesca or Joshua if he rammed his truck into a tree. The white coating of snow seemed more than the windshield wipers could handle, or the defroster. But he didn’t have far to go. Another right turn and down the lane. His hands gripped the wheel tightly and he realized he was more nervous now than he’d ever been. What if Francesca had her bags packed? What if she’d already left? That thought panicked him.
Until he saw the smoke puffing out of the chimney. Until he realized a light glowed in the living room. He didn’t head for the garage, but parked at the front walk. After he switched off the ignition and lights, he jumped out of the truck. Then he ran up the walk and threw open the door.
Francesca was standing in the dining room at the window. When she turned to him, he could see she’d been crying. Damn, he was an idiot! An absolute idiot.
She started toward him. “Grady, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t,” he said, tossing his hat onto the table. “Don’t apologize. I was wrong to do what I did, especially without discussing the situation with you first. I was trying to control what happened. I didn’t want Whitcomb doing any favors for you, or making your life any more difficult. I didn’t want you to have to look for another job. I wanted you to depend on me to take care of Joshua while you worked part-time. What I did was all about what I wanted. That was wrong. I should have stopped to consider how you would see what I was doing.”
She looked as if she wanted to touch him, but she didn’t. She looked shy and vulnerable as she shook her head. “You weren’t wrong. I was wrong for reacting so strongly when you and your dad were just trying to help. Grady, I’ve been holding something back for a while now.”
His heart practically stopped. Was she going to tell him she was moving back to the Victorian?
“I love you, Grady. I’ve been afraid to think it, let alone say it.”
It took a few moments for her words to register. But they did, and downright joy filled him.
He folded her into his arms and pulled her close. “You took the words right out of my mouth. I went to Liam for some sympathy. Instead, he told me things I needed to hear. And when he did, I realized I was jealous of Whitcomb. I didn’t want him anywhere near you. Every time I’m in the same room with you, all I can think about is kissing you. I thought I was just fighting physical attraction, but I was fighting caring about you more. I love you, Francesca Talbot. I’m going to love you until my dying day.”
“You love me? You really do?”
She sounded so surprised, so in awe of the idea. He knew he had to make her believe him. He dropped down on one knee in front of her, took her hand and brought her fingertips to his lips. She was crying again, but he could see this time they were happy tears.
He was feeling a little choked up himself, but somehow he had to get the words out. “I don’t have a ring yet. I guess the two of us will just have to go shopping. But with or without the ring, I’m going to ask you the question. Frannie, will you marry me?”
Surprising him, she dropped down on the floor with him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Kneeling in front of him, she assured him quite solemnly, “I’ll marry you, Grady Fitzgerald, whenever, wherever and however.”
He laughed, covered her mouth with his and lit their passion with a never-ending fire he knew would last a lifetime.