On Monday morning, Jenny came in early. She’d come up with seventeen ways of telling Dr. Davis that Nate had turned her down, but rejected them all. Even if the whole thing had been a scheme by Grace Dole to reunite the two of them, or a grand idea to get Nate out of the house, Jenny knew she had to find a way to make the whole thing work out, for the sake of her class. If she came up with a good enough excuse for his absence, then it could buy her enough time to convince Nate to change his mind.
David Copperfield moved mountains. Surely she could get one stubborn marine to agree to help her class—and her career. She’d already kissed a pig. How much worse could convincing Nate be?
But being around him…all day, every day. In the same room, within touching distance. Could she do that? Ten years ago, he’d been the man she’d wanted to marry. The one she had laughed with, cried with. Kissed as if the world was going to end tomorrow.
Their world did. He’d joined the marines at seventeen and stopped coming home as often. The distance had made their bond weaker, not stronger. And eventually, one of them—she no longer remembered who—had said the words break up, and before she knew it, the dream she’d held for so many years had evaporated like summer rain on hot pavement.
It was better that way. She was happier. Granted, she was alone, but she no longer pounced on the mail truck, hoping for a letter or some sign that he was okay. That he still cared. She’d finally gone back to normal life.
Well, as normal as life could be with pink hair and a pig for a date.
Jenny pulled out a selection of new library books from her tote bag and set them up on a stand inside the reading circle.
“Miss Wright?”
Jenny wheeled around at the sound of Dr. Davis’s voice. Already? She hadn’t had time to prepare speech number eighteen yet. “Good morning, Dr. Davis.”
“Is Mr. Dole here yet?”
“No, he, ah, he couldn’t make it.”
Dr. Davis arched an eyebrow. “Really? I was under the impression he was eager to help.”
“I think your idea of bringing him in was a wonderful one,” Jenny began, weaving speeches number two and number eleven together on the fly, “and I think the kids would really respond to something like that. The boys’ top choices in books are almost always hero-related.”
The other woman frowned. “I can hear a ‘but’ in your voice.”
“But unfortunately, Mr. Dole—”
“Was running a little late this morning.” Nate entered the room, bearing his weight against a cane. A cane? She hadn’t noticed one yesterday.
Had he been injured? If so, that would explain why gung-ho, always-another-mission-to-take-on Nate was home for more than a minute.
She’d expected him to wear his uniform and was surprised to see him instead in a light-blue dress shirt and navy pants. He looked good, always had. Her heart, which didn’t seem to listen to her head or the warning siren telling her not to notice how he looked, skipped a beat at the sight of him.
“My apologies, Miss Wright and Dr. Davis.” He nodded toward each of them.
“I’m glad you could make it.” The principal extended her hand to shake his. “Miss Wright was under the impression you weren’t coming.”
“Just a misunderstanding.” He grinned. “I’m here and ready to help.”
“Good. I’ll get out of your way then.” Dr. Davis gave him a smile, then left the room.
Once the principal was gone, Jenny turned to Nate. His face, she’d realized yesterday, looked older now, more tired, as if the weight of the world wasn’t sitting so easily on his shoulders anymore. For a fleeting second, she wanted to reach out and make it easier for him.
She quickly shook off the thought. The days when she’d supported Nate were far in the past, and she intended to leave them that way. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Helping you.”
“When I left yesterday, you didn’t seem interested.”
“I, ah, had some time to think it over.” He took a seat on the edge of a desk. “I’m here for a week. Do with me what you will.” He grinned.
A week. She could last a few days in his presence and not lose her mind or her heart again.
Couldn’t she?
Jenny crossed her arms and leaned against the blackboard. “I don’t buy it. You’re as stubborn as a mule and once you’ve made up your mind, you never change it.”
“It’s been a long time, Jenny,” he said quietly. “People change.”
“Yes, they do.” She picked up a piece of chalk and turned it over and over in her palm. “Sometimes.”
The silence stood between them like a gate waiting to be unlocked. His deep-brown gaze met hers and she had to look away before all the thoughts she’d had over the last ten years came rushing to the surface.
I am over him.
But when she turned again to draw in the face that had once been as familiar as her own, she knew Nate wasn’t the only liar in the room.
“Knock, knock.” Debbie stuck her head in the room. “Oh, hi. I didn’t know you had company, Jenny.”
“Come on in.” Jenny stepped forward and waved the other third-grade teacher into the room. If she had to, she would have dragged Debbie in. Anything to ease the growing tension between herself and Nate.
It’s over between us. Maybe she needed to put that on a sign and wear it around her neck as a reminder.
“I’m Nate Dole,” he said, putting out his hand to the slim brunette. “I’m here to help with Jenny’s class for a few days.”
Debbie’s hazel eyes sparked to life and a wide smile took over her face when she took his hand in hers. “Well, if you ever run out of things to do, my classroom’s right next door.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Nate said. Their hand-shake—which seemed to last for hours—finally ended.
Jenny shouldn’t have felt an ounce of jealousy. Nate had every right to flirt with another woman, kiss another woman, marry another—
No, his left hand was bare. He was still single.
She would not acknowledge the relief that flooded her at that thought.
“Well,” Jenny said. “Mr. Dole and I need to re-organize the day. The children will be here in seventeen minutes and once they arrive, there won’t be any time to breathe.”
“Yeah, I better get to my own class.” But Debbie didn’t move.
Jenny opened the connecting door. “See you at lunch.”
“Oh, yeah, lunch.” Debbie shook her head, then turned to Nate. “Will you be here at lunch?”
“If Jenny wants me to be,” he said.
Both of them turned to look at her. She wondered what was on the menu today and if Debbie would look good wearing it, then bit back the evil-twin thoughts. She was not jealous. Not one bit. “He doesn’t have to stay all day.”
“Oh, too bad,” Debbie said. “I’m sure the…the, ah, students will really enjoy him being around. A big, tall guy like you.” She gave him a smile and leaned against the doorframe. “You’re a marine, I hear.”
“Debbie?” Jenny said, laying the hint heavy in her voice. “I really need to rework my lesson plan for today.”
“Yeah, sure. Me, too.” Debbie dispensed another smile Nate’s way, toothy as a Miss America contestant. “Have a nice day. If you need anything—”
“You’re right next door,” he finished for her.
Jenny distinctly heard the sound of Debbie sighing as she disappeared into her own classroom. With a firm shove, Jenny shut the door.
“Now, let’s talk about the real reason why you’re here,” she began. “It’s not altruism.”
He grinned at her, as if he’d seen the spark in her eyes when Debbie had flirted with him. “To help you.”
“I know you, Nate. You and children mix about as well as an elephant in a roomful of mice. I don’t think so.” She tapped her lip with her finger. “There’s more to you showing up here than a nudge from your mother. I’d be willing to bet on it.”
“Maybe.” His grin widened, giving nothing away. “If you want to bet, we could make it interesting.”
“This is an elementary school, remember? Nothing R-rated allowed.”
“Too bad.”
Jenny got out a stack of math fact review worksheets and began putting one on each child’s desk for early-morning work. It was easier to do that than to focus on the teasing glint in his eyes. “Believe me, you won’t be having any R-rated thoughts in a little while. Once those kids get hold of you, your brain will become mush and your body will beg for a nap.”
“I’ve been through wars. I can handle a bunch of kids.”
“A war is nothing compared to twenty-five third-graders.”
“Jenny, I’m a marine, remember? I can handle it, believe me.”
She paused and turned to him. “I’m going to take such pleasure in saying ‘I told you so’ later on today.” She thrust the pile at him. “Here, finish putting these on the desks so I can get the vocabulary words up on the board.”
He slid off the desk and hobbled to where his cane lay resting against the wall. When he’d entered the room, she’d seen him walking with it, but then she’d forgotten about it.
Her attention had been riveted on his face. Those liquid chocolate eyes. The way his hands moved when he talked. And that grin. That damned grin that even now, ten years later, could still cause an odd quiver in her heart.
“What happened to you?” She gestured to the cane.
He shook his head. “Just a little knee surgery. Nothing big.”
Once again, she got the feeling he was holding something back, as if he had a bunch of secrets tucked in his back pocket. The Nate she’d known years ago had been as open as a pool of water. But the Nate she saw today had become a darker lake, filled with depths she couldn’t see.
“Does it hurt?”
“Only when I let it.”
Asking more would mean getting close to Nate. Treading in the personal zone. She didn’t want to go there, not again. It had taken her two years to get over their breakup. She didn’t have the heart to go down that path a second time.
“As an aide, all you really have to do is help any kids who are struggling.” Jenny turned to the board and began writing because it was too hard to watch him wrangle his way through the rows of desks. She knew Nate—help was a four-letter word in his vocabulary. She cleared her throat and got to work chalking the list of words from the books the class had been reading. “Anyway, our theme this week is heroes. You being here is perfect timing.”
She turned, the chalk still between her fingers. “Because you’re the definition of a hero.”
Nate shook his head. “Not in my Webster’s.” He jerked away, the cane rapping against the tile.
“Nate, what do you mean by—”
“Hi, Miss Wright,” Jimmy Brooks said. “My mom dropped me off early. Again.” The wiry blond boy disappeared behind the coatroom wall, then poked his head out. “Hey, who are you?” He pointed at Nate.
“Jimmy, this is Master Sergeant Dole. He’s going to be with our class this week.”
Jimmy dropped his backpack to the floor. His eyes widened. “You’re in the army? Like a GI Joe?”
“I’m not—” Nate began.
“Mr. Dole is a marine,” Jenny explained before turning to Nate. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
“That’s, ah, exactly what I was going to say anyway.” Something flickered in his eyes—a shadow passing through—but then it was gone.
“How many people have you shot? Can I see your gun?” Jimmy circled around Nate, rat-a-tatting the questions.
“Later.” Jenny said, bending down to the boy’s level to get his attention. “Right now, you need to put your book bag away and start your morning work. Sergeant Dole will be here all week. You can talk to him later.”
“But—”
Jenny put up a finger. “I said later. And no questions about shooting people.”
“Aw, Miss Wright. You’re no fun.” Jimmy trudged off, muttering about how the class finally had someone cool and the teacher had made it all uncool.
She glanced at Nate and caught him watching her, a bemused expression on his face. Unbidden, the corners of her lips turned up into a smile. His brown gaze linked with hers, and something fluttered deep inside her. Something she’d thought she’d left in the past, like the photo album tucked under her bed.
Before Jenny could consider what that something could be, the bell rang and in gaggles like baby geese, the other children entered the room, talking and laughing, poking and prodding, complaining and shouting. Each stopped and stared when they noticed Nate, then started up a sea of whispers in the coatroom.
“As soon as you all take your seats and get your morning work done, I’ll tell you about our visitor,” Jenny called over the clamor. Focus on the class, not Nate. And maybe that quivering in her gut would stop.
The children nearly knocked each other over trying to get to their desks. Pencils flew across papers faster than cars zipping around the Indy 500 raceway. Like dominoes in reverse, one hand after the other shot up into the air, signaling they were done.
“If I’d known a visitor would get you all to work this hard, I would have brought one in a lot sooner,” she said, laughing as she collected their papers. She waved Nate up to the front of the room. “Class, this is Master Sergeant Nathaniel Dole. He grew up in Mercy and even went to this school. He’s a marine and he’s visiting our class this week, as part of our reading project on heroes.”
There were several exclamations of “Cool!” from the back of the room, a couple of yawns and several whispers between the children.
“Now, I’m sure you all have questions for Sergeant Dole. We’ll do a brief question-and-answer period today and maybe another one tomorrow. Now, who has a question?”
A dozen hands reached upward, fingers wiggling. Jenny laughed and gave Nate’s shoulder a pat. “You’re on,” she whispered.
Nate got to his feet and eyed the crowd. “What do I do?” he whispered to her.
“Just be honest. If there’s one thing a kid can spot from fifty paces, it’s an adult telling a lie. No gory stories, of course, but you can tell them the truth. The goal here is to get them more interested in heroes so they’ll want to read about them, too.”
Nate shook his head. She had him confused with the man he used to be. “I’m not the right man for that.”
“You’re perfect.” Jenny gave Nate a long, slow smile that ricocheted through him with the force of a hurricane wind. “The one thing you always did well was be a marine.”
If she only knew, he thought, how right she was.
He wasn’t a marine anymore, not the kind he’d dreamed of being. And thanks to the bullet that had torn through his knee, he never would be again.
Jenny walked over to her desk, leaving Nate to face the class alone. He pointed first to a little girl with blond hair who seemed to have a continual sniffle. “What’s your question?”
She dabbed at her nose with a crumpled tissue. “What’s a marine do?”
He drew himself up and gave her a nod. “Good question. The grunts are the first ones into the hot spots. For instance, we’d take a beachhead with an amphibious assault and cordon off an LZ, then…” His voice trailed off as he noticed the furrowed brows surrounding him. “Uh, we go in first when there’s a war and make a safe place for planes to land the other troops.” He pointed next to a small boy with glasses.
“What happened to your leg? How come you got to have a cane?”
“I, ah, had some knee surgery.” Not exactly a lie. Not quite the truth, either, but there were some things he wasn’t ready to talk about, Jenny’s advice about being honest be damned.
“Where’s your gun?” Jimmy interrupted, before he could be called on.
“I don’t carry it when I’m not on duty.” He pointed to a girl in the back row who had her hair in twin pigtails. His mother, he remembered, had always done his sister’s hair like that.
For a second, he felt a pang at not having seen Katie since he came home. He missed her and his brothers—Jack, Luke, Mark. All were married now, settled down with families—nieces and nephews he barely knew because he’d been gone from Mercy more often than not.
He shook his head and, with skills honed over years of being apart from his family, Nate brushed the thought away. His mother had been calling and asking him over, but he’d made one excuse after another. He’d see his sister and brothers when he was ready. When he could somehow explain the man he’d become.
He was far from being able to do that right now.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear your question,” he said to the little girl.
“If you’re a marine, how come you’re not dressed like one?” she asked. “How come you’re not wearing your uniform?”
Nate’s grip on the cane tightened. The muscles in his jaw formed into immovable lumps, as if someone had injected them with concrete.
The question wasn’t a hard one. But it required an answer more complicated than he could give to a group of nine-year-olds at eight-thirty in the morning.
“I just decided to wear something else today,” he said finally.
“Can you wear your uniform tomorrow?” Jimmy asked. “I bet it’s really cool. Do you have a lot of medals and stuff?”
He’d had medals. Past tense. He thought of the dark-blue coat, once hung with ribbons and golden pins whispering of past deeds.
But now…
Now he didn’t wear it anymore. It had been far too painful a reminder, so he’d stuffed it into the dark recesses of his closet. A few months ago, that uniform had been his life. He didn’t have the athletic prowess of Mark, the brains of Luke, the business acumen of Katie or the focus of Jack. Nate thrived on action, adventure. And the only thing he seemed to be good at, since the Christmas he got his first G.I. Joe, was battling the bad guys—and winning.
Now that he wasn’t wearing the clothes of a marine, he felt lost, as if he wasn’t sure what uniform he was supposed to wear anymore.
“Can you wear your marine clothes tomorrow? I bet it’s really awesome,” another boy said.
“No.” Nate’s voice came out tight and strangled. He cleared his throat and tried again. “No, I can’t wear it.”
“Why not?”
“Yeah, why not?”
He cast a help-me look at Jenny. She grinned at him and stepped forward. “That’s enough questions for today,” she said. “It’s eight-forty-two. Time to get started on our vocabulary words. Now, everybody copy down…”
While she talked, Nate scooted around the desks and made his way to the back of the room. He slipped his free hand into his pocket and fingered the piece of paper that had arrived that morning on his fax machine. Whether he liked it or not, he had to stay in Jenny’s class for the entire week.
After Jenny had left, he’d called his V.A. doctor, thinking the physician would tell Nate he had a good reason to go on staying at home and off his knee. But no, the doctor had disagreed, and when the story of Jenny’s visit had slipped out, he’d ordered Nate to a week in Jenny’s class as “therapy” for his knee. Whether this was going to be good for him or not remained to be seen.
Looking at the wide-eyed, eager faces around him, he realized Jenny had been right.
These kids were going to eat him alive.
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