CHAPTER 24

 

“Ugh. Go ‘way,” I grumbled, curling into Noyel’s side of the bed. It was still warm even though he’d long ago gotten up, some emergency, someone to stitch up, I didn’t remember, to snuggle down.

Another poking jab to my butt.

Swatting the offending poker, whatever and whomever it was, away, though I assumed it was Zhuii, ready to give that Zhubeast a piece of my mind, I turned, blinking my eyes open rapidly to find myself face to face with a pair of bright, wild, emerald green eyes.

“Sh. No scream, Rose-hop-blink-ling. Rek show. Female come.” Glancing down my generous frame, his gaze caught on the strip of thigh exposed when my blankets slipped, my right leg sticking out of the bedding.

“Ah- Ah- Ah-” My brain was stalling, my body locked up. A squeal welling in my throat, about to scream, his hand over my mouth effectively silenced me.

A whimper escaped me, and my breath hitched.

“No cry, no scream,” he ordered, glaring down at me to obey.

When I kept my mouth shut, blinking rapidly, ignoring the hummingbird thrum my heart had adopted, feeling like I might just pass out, he pulled back.

Standing, he glanced around the room, a grunt of approval leaving him as he reached over, plucking my dress off Noyel’s wicker looking chair, and tossed it at me.

“Get dressed. It cold, be warm.” He walked to the door, glancing over his shoulder, his arms folding over his chest. “Rek something to show Rosie.” His chest puffed up a little. “Rosie pick Rek. Be Rek’s female.”

Like fucking hell. I mouthed the words, shaking my head as I hastily threw on my dress.

It was cold outside, and I kept glancing back towards Noyel’s bachelor hut hoping he’d return soon to find me gone, smell Rek, and collect the others so they could all rescue me and kick his fucking ass.

A small smile twisted my lips as I pictured it, but then I caught shit for brains looking at me, and it morphed into a sneer.

Rek blinked, alarmed, and looked away.

That’s right, asshole. I’m not the same person you kidnapped all those weeks ago.

Rek was taking a way I didn’t know, bypassing Zhuii’s den and Tokre’s cozy little home—my home. We hugged the forest lining the village, venturing farther and farther out until I noticed it. We were back by the general area of the portal. What the…

My stomach clenched and I felt nauseous. What was he thinking of doing? Of doing to me? What could he possibly have to show me here… that would make me want to choose him for a mate? I should’ve screamed, should’ve fought him, tried to run… What was I thinking?!!

This was nuts! He’s obviously- But then I heard it. And again.

Stopping dead in my tracks, I grabbed at my chest. “No,” I whispered. “No way.”

“Hey, green eyes, what’s taking so long?! Huh? You said, wait here, female, blah-blah, yadda-yadda, but do you know how nipple freezing cold it is out here right now? I mean, if I had testicles, they’d be blue with icicles danglin’ off. All I’m sayin’.”

“Oh my god.” I knew that voice. I knew that fucking voice! That nagging, whiny voice!

Rushing past Rek, snarling at him when he went to put his arm out to hold me back, I rounded the corner, squealing as jet black and blue hair came into view, hidden by an ugly assed beanie with two enormous pom-poms on top.

Bright orange and pink puffer jacket encasing her curvy frame, leopard print ski pants, furry looking blue and white knee high boots, her banana yellow purse on her shoulder and her favorite set of matching leopard print suitcases at her feet, I squealed again, launching myself at her. “Joanie!!!”

“Rosa?!!” Joanie’s purse slid down her shoulder as she spun around.

Squealing right along with me, we were both running, slamming together in a clash of crazy hugs and shrieking squeals that had Rek groaning and covering his ears.

Pulling back, hands still joined, we jumped around, bouncing in a tight little circle, deaf to anyone or anything else around us.

“Oh my god!” I squawked out. “I can’t believe you’re here!”

“Fucking finally! I’ve been looking all over for your butt, chica!”

“Joans, I’ve missed you so freaking much.”

“Of course you missed me.” Joanie paused, snapping her gum, to grin at me, fluttering her long, bright pink glitter encrusted, mascara-ed lashes at me. “I’m… me.”

“Shut up.” Pulling her in for another hug, squishing her puffer jacket like a Joanie-filled marshmallow covered tart, I couldn’t freaking believe it.

“You shut up.”

“No, you shut up.”

“Please,” Rek muttered, “both shut up.”

Joanie pulled back with a snarl, slipping her purse the rest of the way off her shoulder to shove it at me. “Here. Hold this for me, would ya, I got a scuzz butt to deal with.”

I blinked down at the ugly yellow bag, then her.

“You,” she shouted, “the fatheaded fool too stupid to live,” marching right up to him to stab her index finger into the middle of his broad chest. “Yeah, you, with the pretty green eyes and that nasty mouth. Listen up, fluff for brains, you aren’t the boss of me.” Her finger dug in, the big beast towering over her grimacing, his upper lip curling up as she read him the riot act,

Yet Captain Rek-less didn’t move or shove her off. Nope, he just stood there, glaring down at her, taking it.

“Why don’t you shut to the up,” she suggested, snapping her jaws at him, bursting out into a fit of loud, raucous laughter when he jerked back and took a few big steps away from her.

A roar shot off in the distance, one more, and then another following after. “Hah! They found me.”

“Who found you?” Joanie glanced over her shoulder, her finger still pointing at Rek threateningly. He kept flinching at that finger, like it might zap him, tasering his ass, at any moment.

“My mates!” I cried happily. Tossing Joanie her purse, I took off after the sound of those deafening bellows.

“Mates? As in plural? Like, more than one?” Joanie’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief and she blinked. “I mean,” her hand lifted and she flicked a rainbow glittered nail in my direction, “I know Indiana Abominable Pants over there said that’s typically how it was done, how this whole thing was done, but damn, girl.” Snorting in disbelief, she shook her head. “Make a fella work for it, first, huh?”

“Long story, we’ll catch up later,” I called after her, “promise!”

“Oh, sure, just went on an epic adventure to find you, to Beast-topia, home, and back again, had to get my ass kidnapped to find you, and all I get’s a catch up later? Talk about the short end of the stick!”

A hag cackle burst from my lips and I tossed a hand up to wave her off from behind me. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed your bitching, woman! Holy shit, you have no clue!”

Joanie scoffed, her lips pursing in a moue of annoyance. “I do not bitch.”

“Rek say Joansie do. Joansie whiny.”

“No one asked you, walking sock monkey.” Joanie’s dryly delivered quip had Rek hissing, baring his teeth at her. Joanie smirked, her ruby red painted lips puckering in his direction to blow him a kiss, and then she winked.

Rek grimaced, swatting away the blown kiss as if he thought it might catch him and give him cooties, making my best friend/cousin burst out laughing.

“Admit it,” she taunted. “You love it.”

“Rek no love it. Rek the other of love it. Rek want female gone. Go with Rose-up-blindly. Leave Rek ‘lone forever.”

Joanie’s hand went to her impressive bosom. “Oh, baby, you wound me!” The back of her other hand went to her forehead and she sighed. “Ugh! Walking slipper sock, you’re breaking my heart.” Her eyes fluttered closed dramatically, Rek snarling louder than I’d ever heard, done with her shit.

“Quit it,” she muttered, “or I’ll be tempted to tase you again.” Not bothering to move, her eyes still closed, hand over her forehead, the other to her breast, she didn’t catch the hunted look on the male’s face, his hand going to his furry testicles to cup them protectively.

As if she could see his reaction, a slow, evil grin spread across her face.

Sucking in a shocked gasp, I choked a little, my eyes watering as I told her, practically gushing, “Have I told you lately you’re kinda my hero, Joans?”

“No.” Joanie cracked an eye open. “But, you know, don’t hold back. I take money or any beastly monetary value in tribute. Heh-heh.”

“Jo-jo-knee not funny,” Rek grumbled under his breath.

“I’m hilarious, hillbilly ‘bominable.” Joanie stood, brushing imaginary lint off her coat. “Get used to it, get over it.” Her hand waved at him and she cocked an eyebrow. “Get ready to tangle if you think you’re going to keep muttering shit about me under your breath like that.”

Rek made an impatient sound in his throat, his lip curling up in disgust to turn from Joanie to me. “What ‘bout Rek and Rosie?” he asked, like that was even something on the table. Fucking delusional much?

Three furious roars grew louder. They were close, very close.

“What about Rek and Rosie? There is no Rek and Rosie. Never was, never will be, no way, no how!”

Rek growled his fury. The sound was cut short by a zapping sound.

Spinning on my heel, I caught Rek spasming on the ground, his body convulsing. Joanie stood over him, glaring down at him, straddling his prone form. “She said she don’t want you, dumbass. Whatchu think you’re gonna do, about to follow after her like that, snarling and rude and- Ugh! Just, rude. Do it again, bleached squatch,” she warned, bending over him, making sure she was in his line of sight, blowing on her taser like a smoking gun, “I’m going for the furballs.”

Straightening and stepping back, she walked to her purse, left in the snow, and picked it up.

Chucking her taser back into the fat bag, she sniffed. “Someone needs to teach that flocked toad some manners.”

Knowing Joanie and the way she was studying Rek, I’d just bet she thought herself the one to do it.

Ohhhhh… Rek. I almost felt sorry for the asshole. Almost. He had no clue what he’d just unleashed.

A giant blue beast with thick, spiraling horns racing up to us on all fours came barreling into view as Joanie walked back to her suitcases, going to the fattest one to plop down on top of it. Tokre came into view next, his fish beheading machete—the one Zhuii’d given to him from his private armory and my first mate’d taken to keeping on his person when he fishes, just in case—on his furry belt. Noyel, my jolly, blue-eyed healer, came bringing in the rear.

It was the small army of beasties behind him, all of different towering heights, Dorothy wielding what looked like a rolling pin into the air as she screeched right along with them, giving me pause.

“Rip his balls off, Zhuii!!” I could clearly make out Noyel’s family matriarch bellowing as she scrambled towards us.

The two ginormous beasts alongside her, I recognized as Griever and Lukar. I assumed the two directly behind her, one striped with grey fur, the other’s fur the palest of white, alabaster, were Mosoau and Heckes, her other mates. One of them was an older, thicker version of my Noyel—almost an exact replica.

Surrounding them, varying mixes of Dorothy and her mates clustered close, obviously their offspring, the rest her mates’ kin. The smallest but no less impressive of their group was a blue-eyed, snow white male someone was calling Bia. The male was the most human-like beast I’d seen yet, but no less fierce. The mob had formed, and everyone was calling for blood—Rek’s blood.

Stunned, my eyes teared up and I had this overwhelming sense of belonging. They’d all come to my rescue, for us, our little family. For me, Tokre, Zhuii, and Noyel.

Clearing my throat gruffly, swiping discreetly at my eyes, I went for my first mate. “I’m alright! We’re alright!” I shouted to Zhuii, waving my arms.

My big blue demon beast didn’t slow as he reached me, scooping me up to crush me to his chest. “MINE,” he snarled, rushing towards Rek’s lolling, groaning ass, hatred blazing in his coal black eyes.

When Tokre caught up to us Zhuii stopped long enough to press his forehead to mine, a thick sigh of relief expelling from his chest. Then my rattled Zhubeast murmured my name and handed me over to Tokre.

Hands trembling, Tokre nabbed me up, clutching me to him, burying his face in my nape. His breathing was labored, but not from exertion. Picking up his hand, I signed into it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Over and over, and told him I loved him. He was shaken, bad.

Chuffing out a breathless sound, Tokre’s legs gave out and we tumbled to the snow. He caught himself, thudding to his knees heavily, but refused to let me go.

Mimicking his hum, I kissed his cheek, his forehead, anywhere I could reach. “I’m okay. I’m okay,” I hummed over and over.

Noyel came up last—far from least in my heart—his family waiting a short distance away, giving us all a moment.

“Rosie,” Noyel cried in relief. Throwing himself at us, he wrapped his arms around me and Tokre. Turning my face, I pressed my cheek to his, smiling when his lips found mine and he whispered my favorite words.

“Love you.” Then his eyes shot open and he glowered. “I don’t care what the smuggler says, when I tell you I love you, you tell me back or I’ll spank that pert little ass of yours.”

Swiping at my eyes, laughing at my sudden need for waterworks, I teased, “You really have been reading my sexy books to Zhuii, haven’t you?”

“Shut up,” Noyel muttered, grinning as he chuckled and proceeded to kiss me silly.

It wasn’t until Joanie’s shouting registered that reality came crashing back.

“Oh my god, Joanie!” I gasped out. Untangling myself from my mates, despite their protests, I scrambled over to the argument brewing on the farther end of the battle field. “Wait! Zhuii, wait!”

My Beast personified wasn’t in a particularly forgiving mood, or ready to listen and talk just yet.

Rek made a squeaking noise—an actual fucking squeak—my big baddie bellowing in his face, tusks aimed and ready to slash. Spittle flying, horns glinting in the early morning sun, his long blue tail slapped his thick calves angrily. Yup, my baby was fucking magnificent. And Joanie thought to jump into the fray.

“NO!” I screamed, as the one person I cared about from my human world, my new past, threw herself over Rek protectively.

This didn’t seem to matter to Zhuii, who had no clue who Joanie was and couldn’t care less at the moment.

“JOANIE!!!! Don’t get between them!”

Joanie, fearless in the face of a beast straight out of a nightmare’s wrath, didn’t even flinch.

What I wasn’t expecting, was the small pocket pistol she produced from her purse, pressing it right between Zhuii’s eyes. “Now, you can back the fuck up and get off of us, Monsters Inc gone wrong, or I’m going to make you. Comprende?”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” I was screaming at the top of my lungs, said lungs burning, aching something fierce as I stumbled up to them. “Joanie, you shoot my man and I’ll never forgive you!”

Zhuii’s snarl cut off and he grunted. “Joanie?” Zhuii blinked and cocked his head. He didn’t seem to know or understand guns, so didn’t fear it in the least.

“God damn it,” I cursed, “point that shit somewhere else!”

Joanie’s gun lowered to one of Zhuii’s feet and she glanced at me. “Better?”

“Joanie!”

“Rosalinda!” she shot back. There was something in her voice, a hardness that had me staring from her to Rek.

Nope. I didn’t want to know.

“Zhuii?” Walking up to my mate, calling his name softly, I gripped his bicep, urging him to back off.

Joanie eyed Zhuii, giving him a good once over. “Are they like Easter eggs? Come in many colors?” Snorting at her own joke, that I couldn’t say I found particularly funny right this moment, she gave him a cool, assessing look.

“No,” I muttered curtly. My hand waved at her gun. “Now would you put that shit away! Before you accidently maim someone?”

“Puh-lease,” Joanie lifted her gun, pointing it towards the sky, “I practice all the time. And I passed my test.”

“Written test,” I murmured dryly. My hands slapped to my hips, Zhuii a safe enough distance away I could breathe again. “You’ve gone to the range, maybe, twice, that I know of. You left after a half hour the first time because you broke a nail.”

“So?” Joanie frowned, not enjoying being called out on her shit.

“Don’t remind me why I want to choke you out sometimes, Joans,” I muttered bluntly. “I missed your crazy ass.” My face screwed up and I blinked, blinking my little head off as I tried not to burst into tears. “I really thought I’d, uh, shit- I, uh, I really thought I’d never seen you again. Missed you, you jerk.”

Everything in Joanie softened, and she started playing the blinking game with me. Sniffling but trying to play it off, she cleared her throat. “Dick. Missed you, too. Look at this place, is it humid here or what? My makeup is totally going to run. Don’t know why I even brought it. New place, new me, no makeup, you know?”

“Y-y-you- You mean you came here to- t-t-to stay?”

Joanie’s eyebrows shot up. “Of course I did. You didn’t think I was going to let you move to some other plane, portal, insert nerdy word here, without giving me a chance to tag along, didja?”

A choking sob escaped me and I let go of Zhuii to walk to Joanie.

Joanie let out a stilted laugh, a tear or two escaping, rolling down her rounded cheeks and, with her arms at her sides, her gun pointed towards the ground, she trudged towards me.

“Bring it in, bitch,” she mumbled, her chin wobbling as she gave me a watery smile.

“Jerk,” I muttered again, making her laugh.

I had my arms around her before she could say anything else.

Joanie’s arms lay limp at her sides while I crushed her until she groaned.

“Missed you, chickie. Boos for life. Bickering bitches ’til the end, that’s us.” Her chin rested on my shoulder as another sniffled escaped her. “Mascara got in my eye,” she lied.

“Hug me back, butthole,” I ordered.

Rek groaned, rolling, struggling to gain his feet a small distance away. A telling puddle beneath him, a tiny smirk lifted my lips. Hah. Who’s pissing themselves now, asswipe?

“Keep that thing aimed that way,” I told her, referring to her gun.

“I’m telling you,” she bitched, her free arm lifting to give me a bear hug back. It was when her right hand lifted reflexively with her left and the gun went off, that we both screamed.

Joanie dropped her gun while I shouted at her. We did a stupid dance, our feet slapping the ground like we were running in place, our hands flapping wildly before we clutched each other.

We continued to scream bouncing in place, leaving Zhuii snarling at the gun, then Rek. Beneath Zhuii’s tree shaking snarls I could make out Rek’s displeasure, Tokre and Noyel’s close behind. Noyel started shouting out, demanding to know what happened.

Rek’s shocked shout as the gun went off, and answering bellow after, everyone shouting out all at once, had us ping-ponging our gaze every which way, before finally settling on the painfully annoying Rek. Rek,who was gesturing wildly from his person to the gun in the snow, and back to himself.

Rek hopped around from foot to foot, snarling and growling. A small hole in the white snow, right between his hopping feet, had us both gasping.

“You almost shot him!” My hand slapped to my mouth and a hysterical giggle slipped out.

“I almost shot him!” Joanie gasped in surprised. Turning to me, she shook her head. “What am I doing with a gun? I don’t know what the hell I’m doing! I could shoot somebody!”

This was Joanie’s duh moment, and a wonderful opportunity for me to bellow out a few I told you so’s, but this wasn’t the time for that.

“We’re okay. Everyone’s okay,” I announced.

“Rek no ‘kay!” the beastie snarled out. “Jojonee shoot Rek dick!”

When I gave ol’ Jo a long, measured look, more so at Rek’s new vocab than her almost shooting his dick off, she shrugged.

Looking to Rek, she pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing shrewdly. Her toe nudged the gun before she bent, carefully picking it up, emptying it and carefully stowing it away in her purse.

“Jojonee! My peen,” he grumbled churlishly.

“Almost but didn’t, tooty, my fluffy fruity. You’re still, erm, whole.” Her face pinched like she smelled something foul. “Kinda.”

Rek’s answering, annoyed growl had me starting. “Not funny,” he grumbled.

My face paled and my breath escaped me. No. No way. No way was Jo psycho flirting with… Gag. “Joanie…”

Hearing the question in my voice, she gave a sharp shake of her head, mouthing, later. I had a horrible feeling I really didn’t want to know. No. Just, no.

Needing a subject change, I peered around Zhuii’s seething form to Noyel. “Noyel, baby, think you could tell your family everything’s okay now? Call the angry mob off?”

Looking to his army of loved ones, I sent the crowd a little wave, grinning when Noyel’s fathers glanced to one another and waved back.

“No ‘kay,” Zhuii grumbled. “Rek still breathe.” Lifting his hands, my sweet beastie signed for Tokre as everyone spoke.

Tokre signed back, grunting, and nodded.

“What did he say?” I asked Zhuii, slightly distracted, trying to sneak peeks at Noyel’s tight little buns as he strode towards the gathered mob. Some of them had bows, huge swords, an axe, one had a battle hammer, and were those… throwing knives?

“You’re going to hook me up with one of those fur cape things, yeah?” Joanie asked.

“Oh, uhm, mating pelt. Gotta find you a mate and tempt him to hand it over,” I told her.

“Good luck with Jojoansie with that,” Rek snorted out under his breath.

Knowing what to expect from my friend next, I smiled slowly as her hand shot out, checking the dumbass in his gut. “Don’t be jealous, Rekkie,” she simpered in that completely fake, sugary, sickly sweet saccharin way of hers when she was being beyond snarky, “I’m sure if you ask me nicely, on your knees, and let me hold the leash to your collar and everything, I might add you to my harem. Heavy on the might there, too slow.”

“Harem?” The beast rolled his eyes, the human expression downright creepy on him. “Jojoanslee lucky she get one mate. Rek not be one of- Hey! Rek not too slow!”

“Of course not.” Reaching out, she flicked the end of his nose and stepped away from him, leaving him yelping, gripping the tip of his nose and glaring at her. “No one really likes you enough to tolerate you. They’d murder you and bury you in my flowerbed. Did I say too slow? I meant molasses.”

“Rek no know pograssis.”

“It’s okay, baby.” Reaching out, she gave the beast a patronizing pat. “It is oooo-kaaaay.”

“No funny,” he growled out, but a tiny half-smile tipped his lips.

“Now,” Joanie linked her arm through mine, “ignore him, and his stupidity and annoying, stupid feckin’ face, and introduce me to your, ah, harem, hmmm?” Her gaze darted from Zhuii, who grunted out a short, “My Lindy-mine’s Joanie,” inclining his head briefly in greeting in her direction. My big blue bodyguard stood by watching everyone, following us at a distance as she called over her shoulder to Rek, “Don’t forget my luggage, molasses. Huh?”

“That’s Noyel,” I explained, pointing towards my beastly healer, trying to ignore her weird relationship with my tormentor, “and his family. They’re all really nice.”

“And very… into weapons,” Joanie observed with a small smile.

Rek, doing Joanie’s bidding, was making odd noises off behind us. Was he eating the suitcases, I wondered, or dragging them? What did she have in those things?

As if she too had come to the same conclusion and guessed my reaction, she flicked her hand between us. “Little of this, whole lot of that. Lots of batteries,” she confided, leaning in to whisper.

“If you’re aiming for one of these pelts,” I said on a laugh, “and those batteries, they’re what I think they’re for-”

“B.O.B., they’re for Bob,” she admitted bluntly.

“Have you no shame?” Shaking my head, I chuckled.

“None whatsoever.” Joanie grinned at that, unabashed. “So… wasn’t there one more? A big white one? Strong silent type?”

“He’s mine,” I warned, a bite to my words.

“Down, girl,” Joanie nodded and gave my hand a pat, “he’s all yours, but maybe he has a brother?”

“Only child.” I rolled my eyes at her audacity.

“Fudge nuggets,” she tsked, snapping her fingers, “some bishes have all the luck.” She was teasing, typical Joanie, pecking and playing.

“I can’t believe you’re so cool about all of this, I mean, I was freaking the hell out.”

“I’ve, uh, had some time to adjust,” Joanie said cryptically.

Rek continued to make funny noises. Joanie and I shared a look and grimaced.

“They don’t, like, just drop down into a crouch and poo around here, do they?” Joanie whispered through the side of her mouth.

“What? No!” I insisted. “They have bathrooms and everything.” Glancing to Zhuii, who didn’t seem bothered by Joanie’s odd question, I was just about to ask if he’d seen where Tokre had gone off to when I caught the look in his eyes. “Now what’s got you looking so plea-”

“NO!” Joanie screamed and took off, shrieking like a banshee.

“Good riddance,” I caught Noyel chuffing under his breath as he walked up behind me. His arm banded around my waist, holding me in place, his family calling out their goodbyes in the distance as they headed back to their huts and chores and whatever else.

“Zhuii no miss dumbass.”

“What in the… world?” With my ears ringing from Joanie’s wild cry, my eyes darting every which way to search out the source of her discontent, I spun around to find Tokre choking out Rek, who was turning an unhealthy shade of purple, his claws digging into Tokre’s forearm. Tokre must’ve snuck up on him when Rek was distracted.

Though thick rivulets of blood poured down my mate’s arms, sending me into a shrieking frenzy of my own, it was obvious he had the upper hand in this one. Still, I couldn’t help my reaction.

Joanie’s cries carried above my own.

“You’re killing him!” she wailed. Gripping her purse by its straps, she rushed in. Pulling her arm back, she swung her purse at my mate-husband’s head, beating at his thick noggin.

Not expecting the attack, unable to hear her as she approached, too busy trying to silence Rek forever to take notice, Tokre roared and his grip slipped.

It was my turn to do a bit of ear splitting screaming, smacking at Noyel to release me so I too could jump into the madness.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Noyel grumbled. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Tokre! Noyel! Let. Me. go.”

“Sorry, my Rosie. Promised I wouldn’t.”

“When?” I demanded on a wail.

“Zhuii fix it,” my blue-furred beast said easily, lumbering into the middle of the fight.

Panting as I squirmed, wriggling in my blue-eyed male’s arms, I asked on a horrified whisper, “He means help kill Rek, doesn’t he?”

“Yes.” Noyel didn’t even need to think about it.

“Don’t you hurt my cousin!” I shouted at Zhuii.

“Zhuii no hurt Lindy-mine’s Joansie.”

“Joanie’s gonna bring the pain down on you, though,” she snarled.

Her hair was sticking up like she’d rubbed her head on a balloon, her beanie having flown off at some point. The shoulder of one of her jacket sleeves was torn, bits of inner white puff fluff showing. Red lipstick smeared across her face, and one of her fake eyelashes stuck to her cheek. She’d managed to maneuver herself between Tokre and Rek, protecting the beast bride kidnapping, wife stealing jerk while he keeled over, wheezing, clutching at his chest.

Tokre had no choice but to step back or risk head injury or hurting Joanie.

“Come at me, big blue and clueless.” She gave her bag a little swing like it was a nunchuck. “Kiss my purse.”

Gripping Noyel’s forearm, I whispered an apology and bit down. Noyel howled but released me. Jerking his arms, dropping me, I hit the ground running.

“Damn it, Rosie!” he cursed after me.

“No! No! No more!” I bellowed. “Enough!” Pushing Zhuii back, I was no match for him as he gently plucked me up, turning, and set me down right next to him, continuing forward.

One more well-aimed swing as Joanie lunged, and Tokre tumbled to his ass to avoid her.

“One down,” she muttered, licking her lipstick smeared lips to glare at Zhuii.

“Stay back, female,” Zhuii instructed, a snarl building in his throat as his eyes slid to his intended target.

Joanie hopped in front of Rek, shocking me right out of my socks.

“Joanie!”

Zhuii roared, snarling with rage, bellowing for her to move.

I managed to catch Zhuii’s arm, right as it swung up. He was about to slam the ground in his frustration, but all that ended up happening was my sturdy ass dangling from his raised arm.

Joanie threw her body over Rek’s like a human shield. “I won’t let you hurt him!”

“Ah… Joans? I don’t think-” I mumbled from my strange dangle.

“Not gonna happen, monster mash.” Joanie was prepared to hold her own, or try to, staring down my Zhubeast. “You want to get to scuzzy buns over there, you’re going to have to go through me.” Hooking her thumb over her shoulder at Rek, then herself, she held her hands out, fingers curling, her manicured nails like colorful claws of her own, and flexed them. “See, I made a deal with dumbass back there, promised him if he just helped a damsel in distress out, reunite me with my gal pal over there, no harm would come to him.”

Patting her bag with a dark smile that gave me pause, reminding me she was swinging that fucking thing around with a gun in it, she clucked her tongue.

“And I’ve just gotta tell ya, sweet, furry, and full of grump, I aim to keep that promise.”

“Not a dumb bus,” Rek choked out petulantly from behind her, his arms folding across his chest stubbornly, glowering at the back of her head. Sitting there, not quite capable of standing for long just yet, he didn’t move, didn’t try and protect her from my raging Zhubeast’s wrath.

I couldn’t say I blamed him, considering his current state, but some kind of warrior male he was, self-preservation understandings aside.

This was Joanie, my Joanie, he was feeding to the wolves here.

“Hello,” I shouted, huffing at Rek, “are you for reals right now? You’re just going to stand there behind her and let her protect you?” I was getting good and riled. I didn’t spot Tokre until he was on me, scooping me up to tuck me under his furry arm, the other hand cradling his aching head. I half lamented Tokre not finishing choking Rek out in the first place.

Rek shrugged, sparing me a quick, though sulky, glance. “The big mouth one is not Rek’s mate. What to Rek?”

Gaping at him, I gasped. “Are you fucking serious right now?! Oh, Jo… move outta my way. Forget Tokre choking him out! I’ll do it myself!” I made to go after him, tear his ass up, but Tokre held tight.

Hitching me higher on his chest, he let loose a growl that had my tigerlady roaring along with him.

“Yeah!” I bellowed. “What he just said, asshole! And you know what? You- you dirtbag, are nothing to me! Hah, yeah, how you like that, hmm?!”

Rek’s eyes widened before narrowing. His gaze darted to Joanie accusingly and he snarled, “Rek not ass-hole!”

“Oh, honey,” Joanie cooed, unfazed, grinning as she tossed him a wink over her shoulder, “you most certainly are. But not to fret, pookie, you wear it well.” Her wild appearance just added to her feral look. I was half tempted to cover my eyes so I didn’t have to watch.

“Rek not puke-y, either!”

“Maybe not to you,” Noyel muttered under his breath, coughing to cover it up.

Even Joanie heard, her silky, sultry laugh a welcome sound. “And how,” she chuckled out, making Rek harrumph.

“Joanie?” I had to use one hand to hold my hair back so I didn’t have to peer up at her through a curtain of dark curls, holding the other one out to her. Dangling from Tokre’s hip, I probably looked as bad off as Joanie. “None of my males are going to murder your… uhm, friend?”

“Accomplice,” Joanie corrected, as if she’d just adopted some sense of diplomacy. She ruined it by kicking her leg back, sending a wad of snow right into Rek’s face.

“Female,” Rek snarled out.

With a pep to her step, Joanie collected her things, banana purse and four giant suitcases.

Taking pity on her, Zhuii and Noyel each grabbed a suitcase, snarling and snickering at Rek, death in their eyes as they passed.

“He’s not worth it,” I told them softly, shaking my head. My gaze met Rek’s as I glanced over my shoulder one last time, readying to leave. “I’d thank you for helping Joanie back into my life, but you owed me.”

“Owed you?” Rek’s brow furrowed and he scratched at his head from his flop in the snow.

“You’re a bad male, Rek. A very bad male. I hope you’re better to whatever female agrees to spend the rest of her life stuck with you. I wish this mysterious, as of yet known female all the luck in the world.” Then lower, “She’s going to need it.”

My mates grunted their agreement, Joanie strangely silent, already trotting off ahead. She trusted me, my word, and it showed. I’d said my mates wouldn’t kill him, and they wouldn’t. Ultimate trust.

I wanted that for her when she picked a male—males, for that matter, considering our new homeworld’s mating habits.

Why she felt the need to keep Rek around, I’d never understand, but she’d obviously formed some kind of odd bond with the male, despite how much the two pretended otherwise. Even now, Joanie kept peeking glances at him.

“Damn,” I thought with a weary sigh. “And so it begins…”

“What?” Joanie glanced at me sharply.

“Hmm? Nothin’.” I shook my head. “Just hungry. Tired, a little sore, and hungry.” My hand tapped Tokre, catching his attention. Tokre stopped, and our party followed. “You have two options,” I told Zhuii, who signed to Tokre, “put me down or hold me properly. This lugged at her hip business is making me nauseous.”

“Here.” Zhuii set the suitcase he held down and gestured for Tokre to hand me over. Tokre did, reluctantly, taking hold of my hand as Zhuii tucked me tight to his chest, gripping the handle of Joanie’s suitcase to let the bottom drag through the snow beside him with the other.

My hand went to the small knot Noyel had affixed to my pelts late last night, hooking the part I had a habit of clutching at my collarbones through each other with a thick string of leather to tie them together so they didn’t slide around separately, going in all directions while I moved. The fingers of my other hand gave Tokre’s calloused mitt a good squeeze.

“Tired?” Zhuii asked quietly, grinning when the hand fiddling with my cape clasp snuck up to smooth over the base of one of his horns.

“Tired. Sore. Had a long night. A crazy morning.” I wiggled a little when he growled a sexy growl, knowing exactly what that meant—a bout of sexual healing from my arduous mate. Pressing my face to his rich blue fur, I sucked in a lungful of earthy, Abominable male scent. “It’s good to be home.”

“Not home yet,” Zhuii said with a frown.

“Almost,” I murmured cryptically.

“Yes. That what Zhuii say. Not home yet. Almost.”

My hand dropped from his horn to rest over my stomach. “Not home yet, but almost, just one more thing to make it complete.”

Zhuii opened his mouth to speak but Noyel beat him to it.

“She’s not speaking literally, Zhubabaloo,” Noyel snarked.

Zhuii grunted, ignoring Tokre’s mild chuckle as Noyel signed and spoke.

“What my Lindy-mine need, then? Zhuii get it, make it.”

“For my period to disappear?” I hinted, waiting for someone to catch on.

Noyel made a choked noise, while Joanie gasped.

“Agreed,” Zhuii grunted out sternly. “My Rosie Beauty give Zhuii chest hurts with woman’s times.”

“Uhm, she wasn’t hinting at hoping to go through early menopause, bruiser,” Joanie chimed in, making me laugh.

“What mental pause?” Zhuii’s face scrunched up in such a funny, perplexed look Joanie and I were beside ourselves with laughter.

“I can just imagine how that went down,” Joanie got out between cackles.

“Zhuii no think my Lindy-mine bleeding times funny. Scary.” The large male shuddered. “Tokre keep think our Lindy-mine dying. Make Zhuii worry.”

“I told you I was fine,” I reminded, shaking my head. I was laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face.

“Don’t you all have ladies around here? I mean, I thought I saw one screaming right along with the pitchfork parade.” Joanie gave each male a duh stare. “What did you think babies came about with? A poke from your magic wand and they popped up in a pumpkin patch?”

When Joanie looked to Tokre, who was too busy watching Noyel’s hand signing to answer, I told her, “He can’t hear you. He’s deaf. Noyel and Zhuii, they’re teaching me how to sign, beastie style.

Joanie nodded. “Bad ass. Good for you all. You’ll teach me, too?”

“Of course.” My heart warmed at Joansie-o’s eagerness to accept my new mates into the fold.

“Cool. And, hey, no funny business, boys, when I bleed for five days and survive,” Joanie taunted. “No digging of ditches until Cousin Joanie is good and dead, we copasetic?”

“Zhuii no cobraspectic, but understand. No bury Cousin Joanie ‘til she dies.” Literal Zhu, he nodded, grim, like she’d just given him a knight’s task.

“No worries from me,” Noyel chuckled, “I’m a healer,” he stated proudly.

Tokre looked mildly embarrassed but nodded too, ignoring Noyel’s good-natured smile at Zhuii and Tokre’s lady issue squeamishness in favor of Noyel’s hand signs.

“So you just let them think she was dying?” Joanie gaped at Noyel, who had the decency to look a pinch sheepish.

“I told them… eventually,” he admitted, ignoring my glower.

Joanie burst out laughing and pointed at Noyel. “I like you. Oh my god, I just- I like you!”

“Evil, after your own heart,” I mocked.

Noyel blinked, glancing from me to Joanie. “I’m not that bad.”

“He is,” I assured her.

Joanie eyed the male, making her way towards him. Noyel paused as she stepped up to him, but slowly held his arm out to her.

“Manners. Another plus.” Joanie took his arm, tossing me a look over her shoulder. “So tell me, Noyel, is it?”

“Yes. Noil, like boil.”

“Oh, ick, mental picture. But enough about that, let’s get to the good part. Do you have any single siblings, Sir Dr. Mr. Noyel?”

Noyel burst out laughing and looked down at my tenacious cousin. His smile widened when she flipped her static cling infused hair with a saucy snap of her wrist, her lipstick smeared smile bright and hopeful. “Mama is going to have a field day with you. And probably kill me for saying this but… I, uh, may have a few.”

Joanie’s next words came out purred. “Purrrrfect.”

My hand slid over my eyes and I mumbled under my breath.

Zhuii made a hissing noise. “Why my Lindy-mine want the ground open up and swallow her? Stop that.”

A small giggle bubbled in my chest. Before I knew it I was a mess, choking with laughter as he glowered down at me.

Joanie turned to us then. “What’s the matter, big blue? She told you she meant she wanted a bun in the oven and you’re not ready yet?”

Zhuii grunted, blinking as his head jerked up. “Bun in the oven? What that do with a hole swallowing my Lindy?”

“What?” Joanie frowned up at the male. “You all have the weirdest conversations, I swear,” she muttered under her breath, shaking her head. She didn’t ask questions, just accepted the weirdness for what it was. “I meant a baby, blue magoo. She was trying to hint to you all, who are just not made for hinting, obviously, that she’d like, for whatever ungodly reason, to carry one of you all’s furry demon spawn.”

“A baby…?”

“Joanie,” I barked at her, glaring at her for breaking my sweet Zhu. The poor male looked poleaxed.

Tokre let out a pleased sound, turning to press his face into my nape, nuzzling the spot. His wild purr tickled my skin, making me giggle.

“Ah, quit it,” I got out between squeaking laughs. “Quit it, you!”

Tokre pulled back, his happy hum thrumming to life. With a quick glance at our guest and a few signs at Noyel and Zhuii I recognized meant he wanted to fish for dinner, he planted a quick kiss to my lips and rushed off. Tokre got into provider mode, comfortable enough with Noyel and Zhuii he entrusted them with my safety. Yet another reason for my heart to get all soft and gooey on them.

Everyone continued on, everyone but Zhuii.

Clutching me in his arms, my wild beast stood there, staring off into space.

“Zhuii?” My hand went to his cheek, where he closed his eyes, a choked purr in his throat, and nuzzled my palm.

“Lindy-mine want baby from Zhuii?” Blue eyelids popped open, warm, orange swirling pools of inky black blazing into mine. “No mind Zhuii different.”

“No. I don’t mind that you’re different. I love it. And I’d be blessed to have your baby, any of yours. All of yours?” I asked hopefully.

Zhuii swallowed hard, lifting me up higher so he could nuzzle my chest, then lower. “Zhuii want many Zhuii-Tokre babies.”

“Zhuii.”

Nuzzling my belly, the big bad beast peeked up at me. “Guess No-yell babies, too.”

“You’re such a brat.”

“Lindy-mine likes her brat Zhuiibeast,” he teased, his voice muffled into my stomach. “Brat No-yell, too.”

Gripping his horn, I tugged his face to mine. “Yes, I do.”

A wild purr rumbled his chest as our lips met.

“We should get going,” I whispered, when we finally managed to break apart.

“In minute,” Zhuii muttered, licking his kiss swollen lips. “Zhuii need to put baby in Lindy-mine first.” The purr that followed that bold statement had me gaping up at him.

“I didn’t mean right this minute!”

My big beast grinned, cheeky yet charming. “Why we be waiting?”

“Hey, you two, quit sucking face and get those buns moving! I’m cold and your mate dude said he’d make me biscuits. Biscuits! Fresh! Homemade!”

Zhuii groaned, sighing, and started walking.

“Can Zhuii-”

“No.” I shook my head.

“Not even-”

“No. I don’t care how annoying she can get.” Patting his cheek, I snuggled back down into his arms. “She’s family, Zhu.”

“Family,” the big beast grumbled.

“Family,” I affirmed.

“Zhuii no mind having family,” he said thoughtfully.

“Me neither,” I agreed.

“No fucking in the snow!” Joanie bellowed. “Your balls might freeze off, blue balls.”

Zhuii scowled, his jaw jutting, chin lifting as his eyes narrowed. He grunted, admitting, “Maybe Zhuii mind a little.”

My mate carried my snort-giggling behind home, shaking his head, a tiny smile on his lips, my laugher echoing after us.