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I COME TO WAKE slowly, same as I do most mornings with the sun shining brightly through the blinds on my bedroom window. A wave of nausea rushes through me before I have a chance to sit up in the bed and I squeeze my eyes shut against the feeling, willing my stomach to calm itself. The last thing I need to do right now is dry heave my way to the bathroom. There’s nothing in my stomach to throw up anyway, I only had a chance to grab a few slices of bread yesterday at work. Reaching for my nightstand, I grab a few stale crackers to hopefully settle my stomach so I can move from my position on the bed. I’ll get to work early today and hopefully be able to make myself a sandwich before we get too busy.
Keeping my eyes closed and relaxing back into my pillow, I slowly sip the bottle of water I left on my nightstand last night and think about the man that came into the diner yesterday. The way he was dressed, he had to have been from out of town, there are no jobs here that would require him to have been wearing a suit. Well, half of a suit at least. He wasn’t wearing a tie, or a jacket and his top two buttons were undone casually. His dark hair was long enough for me to imagine running my fingers through it, the way he had it styled in a messy undercut. He had a neatly trimmed beard that was short but not short enough to be scratchy and rough. It looked soft and I wonder what it would feel like scraping against my thighs or my neck.
Who am I kidding? I can’t allow myself to get caught up in the fantasy of him rushing in on his white horse to whisk me away from all my troubles. I’m old enough to know there’s no such thing as fairy tales or white knights. If I expect to get out of this dismal town and my troubles, I have to soldier on and do it myself.
Finally, my stomach begins to settle, and I slowly sit up, swinging my legs off the side of the mattress. Not sure if the house is empty yet, I tip toe slowly into my attached bathroom and brace my hands against the vanity. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I grimace at the state of my skin and hair. My auburn locks are dull where they were once shiny and vibrant. My skin has gone pale to the point of near transparency, especially around my eyes. If not for the dark circles gathered there, I wouldn’t have any coloring to my face at all.
Turning away from the mirror, refusing to look any further at the toll the last year has taken on my body, I reach into the bathtub and turn on the water to warm for my shower. I knew it would be hard after my mother passed away, but I had no idea how hard it was really going to be just to survive. If it weren’t for Ralph allowing me to eat at work, I wouldn’t eat anything. Shivering in the cool air of the bathroom, I toss my discarded clothes into the hamper in the corner and step into the warm spray of the shower.
I can’t help but wonder what the handsome stranger thought when he looked at me yesterday. The way he glanced at my mouth when I smiled at him, like he knows that my smile was fake but forced himself not to point it out. I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks as he continued to stare, and I wanted to run away. Hide in a corner where he couldn’t see through my façade. I’ve never felt the need to hide from anyone before, knowing that they won’t see beneath surface level anyway. But this man stared through me as if he could read all my secrets just by gazing into my eyes and it made me nervous.
I don’t understand why I’m still thinking about him. I’ll probably never see him again anyway. He was just passing through town and wanted to stop for a bite to eat before making his way back to the city. There’s no way he’ll come back here for me or anything else. Even still, I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t realized he’d left until it was too late. He left me a generous tip though. Along with a note that I still don’t understand.
Thank you, Emi. Dinner was delicious. Perhaps next time we can eat together. Keep the change.
I wonder what he meant by that. It’s not as if he would ever come into the diner again.
Stepping out of the shower, I grab a towel from the rack over the toilet and dry myself off quickly. I wrap the towel around my body while grabbing my comb and quickly raking it through my tangled tresses, pulling it into a ponytail without bothering to wait for it to dry. I’m anxious to get to the diner and get my day started. My stomach rumbles loudly as if agreeing with my decision to hurry.
After brushing my teeth and applying a bit of foundation to cover the dark circles under my eyes, I step into my bedroom and sip some more water to hopefully hold me over until I can get something to eat at work. Once I’m dressed, I unlock my bedroom door and hold my hand to the doorknob for a few seconds, my breath held in my lungs as I strain to listen for any sound on the other side of the door. After several seconds of complete silence, I open the door and step into the hallway. There’s no one here and I can breathe easier knowing that I won’t have any issues getting out of the house today.
The walk to work is relatively uneventful. I still haven’t had a chance to mow the grass and it tickles my ankles as I amble through the tall blades. I don’t bother following the sidewalk through town, instead cutting through yards and parking lots in hopes of arriving sooner than my normal thirty minutes. I’m already winded at the minimal exertion of the walk by the time I reach the back door of Freedom Diner and have to stand in place for several seconds to catch my breath before stepping inside. It’s amazing how weak I’ve become over the last few days of barely eating. As if the effects of malnutrition hadn’t already taken its toll on me.
“Your boyfriend’s back,” Ralph says as I step into the kitchen, his voice laced with amusement.
“What?” I stop in my tracks, grabbing my apron from the hook next to the door and wrapping it around my waist.
“You know. The guy that was here yesterday staring at your ass.” Ralph openly laughs this time, but I watch as he nods his head in the direction of where the suited man from yesterday is sitting. “He’s been here ten minutes already and won’t let Amber take his order. He said he’d wait for you.”
“Oh,” I gasp not knowing what else to say. I didn’t think I’d see him again, much less have him requesting me to be his waitress. Why is he back?
“Be careful with him, Emi.” Ralph speaks over his shoulder as he walks back to the sink to clean some more dishes. “Guys like him are only after one thing.”
Ralph is a good guy. He owns this diner; it’s been in his family for fifty years. He’s like an uncle to me and the other waitresses here. I know he means well, but if he really cared then he would be more concerned about me outside of just work. Not that I really ever expected him to be. No one in this town has ever cared enough about me to notice anything.
Checking to make sure my notepad and pen are in my apron pocket, I grab a glass of ice water and walk over to the table where the suit guy is sitting. He watches me, a smirk tipping up the corners of his full lips as I approach. A shiver runs down my spine at the gleam in his eyes as they lock with mine.
“Emi,” he says in greeting as I place the water on the table. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to be here today.”
“I’m here every day.” I reach into my pocket and pull out my notepad and pen. “What can I get for you today?” I chew the inside of my cheek while I wait for his response. It’s taking all the willpower I have not to swoon at his feet with the way his hungry gaze is devouring me whole.
“Lunch, with you.” He says matter-of-factly as he reaches for his water glass.
“Excuse me?” My head tilts to the side, my bottom lip catching between my teeth. I must have misunderstood him. He can’t mean...
“It’s quiet here. There’s no one here besides me. Certainly, you can sit with me for a few minutes and have lunch.”
“I just got here.”
“Have you already eaten?” His brows rise as he asks the question.
“Well, no.” He doesn’t need to know that I don’t eat anything at home. The only time I actually have enough peace to be able to eat is when I’m here at the diner. “I usually grab a turkey sandwich and some chips when I get here but I eat in the kitchen.”
“Perfect. I’ll have that and you can join me.” He isn’t going to take no for an answer. Normally, I would hate someone being so forthcoming with me, but with him I kind of like it.
“Okay.” I take a minute to jot the order down on a ticket. “Would you like anything else to drink besides water?”
“No. Water is fine.” Nodding my head, I place my notepad in my apron pocket and turn on my heel to walk to the kitchen. I can feel his eyes on me as I walk away.
Stepping around the counter, I walk directly into the kitchen to start on the sandwiches. Ralph watches me but doesn’t say anything. He’s used to me making myself a sandwich when I get here anyway. As I plate the two sandwiches and chips, I grab another glass of ice water and balance the plates on my forearm. Ralph watches me, one brow raised in question as I back out of the kitchen.
Suit guy is still watching me as I walk back to his table. He immediately grabs one of the plates when I’m close enough and I take the seat across from him in the booth. He watches intently and waits for me to take a bite of my sandwich first before he finally reaches for his own.
We eat in silence, me trying hard not to moan over the tangy mustard covered turkey. This is the first thing I’ve had to eat since lunch yesterday. I finish my sandwich and a few chips before washing it all down with a big gulp of water. When I turn my gaze across the table, I see he’s already finished everything on his plate and is just watching me quietly. Heat fills my cheeks as I start to blush under his gaze.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize.
“For what?” He furrows his brows and cocks his head to one side.
“I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I started eating.” It’s a small lie but he doesn’t need to know that. The truth is my stomach was on a mission to turn itself inside out and winning.
“That’s nothing to apologize for. I was happy to wait until you finished. I didn’t want to interrupt the love affair between you and that turkey. It looked like you were having a good time with it.”
My cheeks really do fill with heat and blood now. I move my hands to my lap and turn my gaze down to the table. He reaches across the table, one finger going beneath my chin to turn my gaze back to him and I flinch away from his touch. I don’t mean to, but in my experience, men don’t reach out to touch you unless they mean you harm. My eyes pinch shut at my reaction – I don’t want to see the hurt look of pity on his face.
“Hey,” he starts. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you. I just wanted you to look at me.”
I lift my head and look in his eyes. I don’t see pity there like I was expecting. I’m not sure how to read his expression exactly since I don’t really know him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”
“Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong.” He seems sincere but I don’t know him well enough to judge his character. “Thank you for having lunch with me.” I watch as a smile spreads across his handsome face, and it’s glorious. I think he really did appreciate me having lunch with him. Again, I don’t know him well enough to know that for sure, but it was nice to have someone to eat with besides Ralph.
I look over as the bell rings above the door, indicating that someone else is coming into the diner. “I’m sorry. I have to get back to work.” I grab the empty dishes and stand to take them to the kitchen. “I’ll be with you in just a moment.” I announce to the newcomers. “Just have a seat anywhere.”
After getting waters for the new customers and making sure they have menus, I return to suit guy’s table to see if he needs anything else.
“No, I don’t need anything.” He smiles at me again as I lay the ticket for his sandwich on the table. I’m almost disappointed that he’s going to be leaving. I’m angry that more customers came in and I didn’t even get a chance to talk to him or get to know him a little better. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Emi.” I watch as he takes another fifty-dollar bill out of his wallet and places it on the table. “My name’s Landon by the way.”
He doesn’t wait for me to say anything before he stands and walks to the door. What did he mean about seeing me again tomorrow? Surely, he isn’t driving here from the city just to eat in this little diner.