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LANDON HAS TAKEN ME out driving every afternoon for the last three days. He leaves for work in the morning after we have a quick breakfast and coffee together, spends a few hours in the office or in meetings, then comes home in the early afternoon ready to take me out for another driving lesson. After a couple hours of driving aimlessly, we return to the apartment where I get to take over the role of instructor and continue teaching Landon how to cook.
That first afternoon that I got to drive his Mercedes was the most nerve-wracking, frustrating, and terrifying thing I’ve ever done in my life. Despite everything that I’ve been through in the past several years, since Charlie came into mine and my mother’s life, I was still terrified of getting behind the wheel of that car. I’ve never known anyone to be as patient and attentive as Landon though, the way he was while I was shaking nervously behind the wheel of his car. He took his time to help me calm down and encouraged me the entire time I was driving.
I’m happy to say that I’ve gotten much better over the last couple of days. At least, I don’t worry so much about giving him whiplash while he rides in the passenger seat. And we’ve even moved our lessons into the city so I can get more practice driving with traffic and through the residential neighborhoods. He took me to the DMV yesterday afternoon to get my learner’s permit too. Another few weeks of practice and he says I should be able to take the driving test for my actual license. Not that I need it, really, since I don’t have anywhere that I need to go. I don’t even have a car.
Despite the nerves, I’ve actually had a really great time learning how to drive. I don’t know if it’s the driving that I enjoy, or the fact that I get to spend so much time with him in the enclosed space. I never thought I would be so comfortable being that close to another person, much less a man. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to open up to anyone, to get close to anyone. I’ve had a wall built up around me because I’m used to people ignoring me or taking advantage. I’ve been hurt so many times over the years – not just physically but emotionally too. I had started to think that I was destined to continue living the life of hell that I was orphaned to. That’s what I was – orphaned – since the only person that ever cared about me died. The only one that actually saw me and made me believe that I wasn’t invisible.
Until now.
Until Landon.
Somehow, he sees me.
I’ve already been staying with Landon for a week. His apartment is amazing, and he wasn’t kidding about the view from the windows during the day. It’s absolutely breathtaking. I feel like I sit here, in front of the floor to ceiling windows, for hours every day just looking out over the city. I’ve even gone so far as to move one of the armchairs from the living room area closer to the window so I could enjoy the view while reading one of the thousands of books Landon has.
He has an endless collection of books, anything from sci-fi and fantasy to true crime and suspense. I hadn’t realized he was such a nerd before but it’s honestly somewhat endearing. You can tell that every book he has on his bookshelves has been read not only once, but hundreds of times. They’re well-worn and loved. Thankfully, he hasn’t dog-eared any more pages since I made him the bookmark. Of course, I had to make another one for myself since I’ve started to dive into several books in the week that I’ve been here.
Landon has done exactly as he promised, he’s been a perfect gentleman since I’ve been here. He’s let me continue to sleep in the guest room and hasn’t tried to persuade me otherwise. He hasn’t even kissed me again since that first morning we spent together over breakfast.
I’ve healed quite a bit over the last week and my bruises are finally fading. The cuts on my arms are healing nicely and I’m sure I won’t have many scars. The bruises have finally faded to a soft yellow, enough that I’m wearing a short-sleeved shirt today for the first time in more than a year. While you can still see the discoloration against my pale skin, it isn’t as stark a contrast as to warrant any questions from strangers. While my pain fades, my heart continues to swell within my chest as my feelings for Landon grow daily. I’ve even put on a little weight since being here, now that I’m finally able to eat three full meals without feeling like I’m going to be sick.
But today, I have a plan. I went snooping after Landon left for work this morning and found an electric pressure cooker in the back of his pantry. He might be disappointed that he doesn’t get to help with dinner when we get back from my driving lesson tonight, but I’m sure he’ll quickly forget about it when he finds out what I have planned for him. I set the timer on the cooker, and by the time we get back to the apartment, we should have a perfectly cooked pot roast ready to eat.
We’ll enjoy a meal together and talk about his day at work – like a normal couple. Because that’s what I want us to be – a normal couple. I started falling for Landon the first time he came into the diner and my feelings for him have only grown stronger. He makes me feel safe and cared for – something that I haven’t felt since before my mother passed.
I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of trying to be who everyone else expects me to be and pretending that everything is okay when it’s not. Like I’m waiting for the walls to close in on me, the other shoe to drop. I don’t want to do that anymore and I know that with Landon, I don’t have to be anything other than myself. That he appreciates me, possibly even loves me, for who I am. With him, I feel like anything is possible.
I’m pulled from my daydream, the book slipping from my fingers and falling into my lap, when I hear the click of the lock disengaging on the front door. Startled, I look around the room and wonder how long I’ve been sitting here, staring out into the cityscape, and suddenly feeling guilty for wasting so much time rather than getting ready to go out with Landon to drive again. I haven’t even taken a brush to my hair yet today. Rushing over to the bookcase, I set the unread book back on the shelf where I had taken it from earlier and turn to the door right as Landon pushes his way through with a stack of boxes tilting precariously to the side in his arms.
“Landon,” I gasp as I hurry over to the door to help him.
“I got these, Kitten,” he smiles as he steps over the threshold and walks to the coffee table in the living room. I freeze, my palm resting against the door as it clicks shut, as my cheeks grow warm, and butterflies take flight in my stomach. Did he just call me Kitten? I don’t think I’ve ever had a pet name before, but I think I like it.
Stepping away from the door, I look toward the clock hanging over the mantel and finally see that it’s earlier than he usually gets home from work. “You’re home early today.”
“Yeah.” He stands straighter and turns to face me. “I only had a few meetings this morning and then wanted to get back home. I’ve been waiting for some things to get delivered for a few days and they finally showed up today.” He points his thumb over his shoulder, toward where he left the boxes sitting on the table. There are four boxes total in different sizes.
“Oh,” I respond, not sure what I should be doing. I shouldn’t feel so awkward just because Landon came home early today. I mean, we have our routine sort of figured out. He comes home after work, we go out for a while to practice driving, then we come home and eat before watching a movie and going to bed. A few extra hours together on a workday shouldn’t be such a big deal, should it?
“Did you eat lunch today?” he asks, stepping closer to me as I stand frozen in place completely dumbfounded.
“I did.” I watch as he takes another step closer to me, his eyes trailing down my body slowly.
He stops moving, mere inches separating us and my heart pounds nervously in my chest as I look up at him. He tilts his head to the side, his brows furrowing slightly, and I see his hand reaching toward me slowly as I lock my knees, forcing myself not to move away from him. I want him to touch me, any way that he can. I’m not afraid of him. His fingers graze my wrist softly before pulling my arm away from my body. “You’re not in long sleeves today.” He reaches out with his other hand and does the same to my other wrist.
My arms seem so small cradled in his hands. His thumbs trace my pulse points, and a shiver runs through my body at his touch, goosebumps rising instantly beneath his fingertips. “No.”
“I like it.” He cradles my hands against his chest, capturing both wrists in one hand and reaching up with the other to move a strand of hair away from my forehead. He pauses, his fingers lingering behind my ear, and I close my eyes and lean further into his touch. We stand like that for several seconds before I feel his lips press firmly against my forehead. “Come on,” he drops his hand from my head and wraps the other around my fingers. Opening my eyes, I watch as he turns, pulling me along with him and walks toward the sofa. “Sit with me for a few minutes. I got you something.”
Following him, I sit next to him with only a few inches separating us. He doesn’t release my hand, his thumb is slowly tracing my knuckles and I watch him as he stares at the boxes lying on the table in front of us. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was nervous.
“Landon,” I place my hand on his thigh softly and watch him as his eyes flutter closed. “What is all this?”
He draws in a long breath before opening his eyes, his gaze turning and locking with mine. “So,” he begins as he releases his hold on my hand and reaching toward the stack of boxes. Grabbing the smallest box on the top, he wraps his fingers around it as he brings it to his lap. “I’ve been thinking a lot.” He pauses and blows out his cheeks and I fold my hands together in my lap as I patiently wait for him to find his words.
“I really like you, Emi,” he continues. “I’m sure you know that.” He pauses and I nod my head once encouraging him to continue. “I hate that I took you away from your life.”
“No,” I interrupt him, shaking my head quickly from side to side.
“That’s not what I meant.” Closing his eyes, he hangs his head and rakes the fingers of one hand through his hair in frustration. “What I mean is that I’m glad I got you out of that town and away from your stepfather. But I’m sorry that I have to leave you here all day while I’m at work. I hate what you’ve had to live through and I’m sorry that I didn’t find you sooner. I hate that you didn’t get to celebrate your birthday. I don’t even know when the last time was that you got to celebrate it.”
“It’s been a few years.”
“So, I got you a few things.”
“Landon,” I gasp. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”
“I know.” He scratches his beard nervously. “But I wanted to.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
“I got you a phone first of all.”
“A phone?” My head tilts to the side, my eyes narrowing in confusion.
“Yeah.” He reaches out and hands me the box. Looking down I see that it’s a new iPhone, much more sophisticated than anything that I had before. I mean, I’ve seen the newest iPhone because Amber has one that she can’t stay off of when she’s supposed to be working. But the last phone I had was a cheap pre-paid smartphone that I don’t even know the model of. “I figured I could take you out later to get a case for it or something. And I programmed a few numbers in it already so you’ll be able to reach me during the day when I’m not here or if you’re out somewhere by yourself. You should be able to reach out if you need something.”
“Thank you.” I have no idea how I’m going to afford to pay for this phone since I’m pretty sure I don’t have a job anymore, not that I want to go back to the diner anyway.
“I added it to my plan, so you don’t have to worry about having it activated,” he states plainly as if reading my mind. “It doesn’t cost much to have it on my bill, so I’m not even worried about you paying for it or anything.”
The other boxes on the table are much larger than this box was and the butterflies are back in full flight in my lower stomach as I anticipate what else he could have gotten for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve had presents to open and I can’t help but be a little giddy with excitement.
“I have an idea.” I watch as Landon reaches out and grabs the next box on the stack and carefully brings it over to his lap. He smiles at me before turning his gaze over his shoulder and looking toward the windows. “You really like the view from that chair. I’ve found you sitting there every day when I get home from work, usually with a book in your hand that you’re not even reading.”
He pauses and looks back at me as a giggle escapes my lips. He isn’t wrong. As much as I want to read some of the books that I’ve found hidden in his collection, I can’t pull my attention away from the amazing view from that window.
“You should see it from the roof. The sky is so clear today I just know it’ll be breathtaking. Let’s take this one up to the roof and you can open it there.”
I watch him, my brows furrowed in confusion, as he tucks the box between his elbow and ribs and reaches out his free hand to grab my hand. Our fingers entwined together, he pulls me gently behind him toward the door and I follow him willingly. We’re already on the top floor and I know the elevator doesn’t go any higher, so I have no idea how to get to the roof from here. My question is answered quickly when we walk down the hall toward the stairway, and I see a flight of stairs leading up.
So, I follow him. My heart is racing a staccato rhythm against my ribs with excitement. But I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I would follow this man anywhere.