After a grueling day at the office, Markie headed home, stopping at a local chicken take-out along the way. She was in no hurry to get back to the house, so she ate at the fast food restaurant before continuing the drive home.
When she arrived, her father’s car was not in the driveway. He came home at the same time every day, so he must have been home and left again. She parked on the street as she always did and walked up the sidewalk to the porch. Her mother was in the kitchen when she entered the house. She could hear pots and pans being put away and cupboard doors closing. She started to go toward the kitchen but changed her mind and went straight up to her room without saying a word. A few minutes later, she heard a knock on her door.
“Yes?” she said.
“May I come in?”
At the request coming from her mother, Markie got up from her bed and opened the door. She returned to her bed and sat back down on the edge, toward the pillow. Her mother entered and sat at the end of the bed, facing her.
“Where have you been?” she asked.
“I went to work.”
“Markie, you know what I mean,” Elaine said softly.
“Sorry. I moved to upstate New York for a while.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. I decided to move back.”
“Markie, I saw you when you arrived. You looked as though you had lost everything and showed up here because this was the only place you could think of to start over. Please?”
Markie knew her mother only wanted to help. She was always in Markie’s corner, even when things went south with her father. Her mother stood by as the faithful wife and kept her mouth shut when Markie and her father faced off against each other. At first, Markie resented her mother for that. Later on, she understood that her mother was giving her father room to figure things out. When her father retreated after the battle, she always came to Markie and smoothed things over as only a mother could. Unfortunately, her father never did seem to figure things out, and Markie resigned herself to the fact that he would never accept her.
“I thought I could live a normal life. I had friends, and people respected me. I even had a boyfriend.”
“Did your boyfriend know about you?”
“I finally worked up enough courage to tell him, but my ex showed up at the diner I was working at one morning. Bob told him in front of everyone in the diner. Now, he won’t answer the phone.”
“Bob was the gay guy you were living with before, right?”
“Yes. He’s the one who left me right before I had my surgery.”
“I never quite understood why you were with him in the first place,” Elaine stated.
“Because I thought he was the only one who would accept me. I really hoped that after I changed physically, he would still accept me, too. But he never got that far. Now, suddenly, he wants me back. But he destroyed everything I had built. Actually, that may or may not be true, but I was about to find out. Only he let the cat out of the bag before I had the chance. So the guy I was seeing walked away and now he won’t talk to me. I should have known better. No straight guy is going to take me.”
“Honey. How do you know? You had one bad experience, that’s all. When you’re ready, you’ll take the chance again. And when it does happen, you’ll be a little wiser.”
“It might take a good long time for that. Mom, this guy was everything I could ever want.” Markie’s eyes started to tear up. “I did everything I could to stay away from a relationship, yet I fell in love with him.”
Elaine’s eyes began to water, too. She moved over and embraced her daughter. Markie broke down and sobbed on her shoulder. Elaine patted her back softly without saying a word.
When she was able to return to some semblance of normalcy, Markie pulled back. “I should have known better. I mean, if my own father won’t accept me, how can I expect another man to?”
Elaine jumped on that one. “Your father is a completely different issue, Markie. You cannot compare the two. When you were little, he thought he had a son—someone to carry his name.”
“But you knew differently, didn’t you?” Markie asked. “I always felt something was up in the way you used to treat me.”
“I knew there was something...” She paused, looking for the correct term.
“Wrong with me?”
“Not wrong. Different. You looked like a boy, but compared to your cousins, you didn’t act like one. You were eight when I started really noticing the difference. By the time you were twelve, there was no doubt in my mind.”
“How come you never brought it up?”
“I waited for you to bring it up.”
“Was I that obvious?”
“I thought so, Markie, but then I lived with you.”
“Why didn’t Dad see it?”
“He didn’t want to. You can’t blame him for that.”
“But now he hates me.”
“Believe it or not, he loves you. I’m not sure he even knows how much. He needs a revelation, that’s all. It will come. Trust me.” Elaine smiled.
“I don’t know, Mom. The other day, he didn’t even acknowledge me as a person. Do you have any idea how much that hurt me?”
“I promise you that won’t happen again. Just give him time and maybe a little more chance to talk to you. You almost never eat here. If you do, it’s either before he gets home, or it’s late at night.”
“Okay, Mom. I’ll give it another chance.”
“You were working at a diner? What happened to your clothing designs?”
“I still have it. The diner was an accident and a way to pass the time. My car broke down, and I wasn’t sure where I was going. The owner of the diner was short-handed, so I applied. She hired me on the spot. This woman is amazing! You’d like her, Mom.”
“Did she know about you?”
“She figured it out. It was she who gave me the courage to tell the guy I was seeing—only I never got the chance.”
“But you learned a lot. I promise you, it will work out for the best.”
“Out of the hands of one optimist and back into the hands of my first. I could always count on you, Mom.”
* * * *
That same night, Mike got in his truck and started driving. Sticking around his apartment was making him stir-crazy. It was dark, and the streets were quiet for the most part. He drove through Oxford and up the hill to the vista park overlooking the township.
He backed in and shut off the engine. Getting out, he hopped into the truck bed and leaned back against the cab, sitting with his legs stretched out, bundled up in a heavy jacket. To his good fortune, no one else was up there. The air was cold and kept them away, but the night was clear and the stars were brilliant.
He started picking out the constellations, trying to clear his mind of the day’s activities. It worked. He left the day behind. But when he closed his eyes, he could feel Markie resting her head on his shoulder. He remembered her expression when she first saw all the stars she said never could see while in the city. The genuine smile she displayed as he educated her on the night sky made him feel important, like he was the only one in her world.
How is it that the most perfect woman I’ve ever known was once a man? he asked himself, knowing that he had no answer. I’ve gotta get past her—gotta move on. There’s no way my father would agree to me seeing her, knowing what she is. And all my friends... how can I live this down? Heck, how many will let me live it down? If we became a couple, how many friends would even stay my friends? I don’t have that many friends to begin with.
He decided that being parked where he had taken Markie was not helping him. He got back in the truck and returned to town. He pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store to pick up something quick to make for a late dinner. It was almost closing time, so he thought he would be safe. He got out of the truck.
As he neared the entrance, Jake Millhouse came out of the store. “Hey, Mike. How ya doin’?”
“Pretty good, yerself?”
“Mighty fine. Been out with any boys lately?” He snickered.
This was exactly what Mike had been trying to avoid. He used a dismissive statement. “Funny, Jake.”
“I’m just ridin’ ya. Could have been worse. You might have had tranny sex. Wouldn’t that have been a hell of a way to find out? You’d have gotten out of there sooner, for sure.”
“Probably so,” Mike agreed, stomach churning as he lied.
“He was a pretty thing, though, wasn’t he?”
“You’re right there. Hey, I gotta go before they close up. Nice seein’ ya, Jake.”
“Likewise, Mike. See ya ‘round.”
Mike quickly separated himself from his friend. In the store, he became even more self-conscious, watching for other so-called friends. It made shopping impossible. He gave up and left, empty-handed.