When Diana awoke, the memories of what Cassius had done crashed upon her. She curled up in a ball and repeated Kernan’s assertion that it wasn’t her fault until the sharpness lessened, but it was going to be a long time before she forgave herself and could forget.
She needed a shower to scrub herself clean. She got up and noted some of her clothes folded and placed on a chair. She took them into the sanitary unit and stayed in there, forcing the cycle to repeat three times before it refused to cycle any more.
Then she went out in new clothes, clean but not feeling it, and sat in the middle of Gareth’s bed. What was she to do now? Gareth would hate her forever for what she had said and even if he didn’t, the idea of having any man touch her made her skin crawl.
Diana had never felt less like herself, less sure, and that made her mad. Never in her life had she had any doubt. She’d just gone about what she wanted to do, enjoying herself, taking the riches life offered and turning them into pure bliss.
Cassius had robbed her of that. In one breath, he’d claimed that he loved her and wanted her, and in the next he’d done everything he could to destroy her.
Anger motivated her and she clambered off the bed and marched into the office next door. ‘I want to see Cassius.’
Gareth was at the desk, bent over two tablets, head swivelling from one to other. At her words, he immediately abandoned his work. ‘Diana.’ He stood and walked toward her. ‘Darling, I’m afraid that’s not possible.’
Diana’s eyes narrowed. ‘You aren’t going to tell me what to do, are you?’
‘No. I’m not saying this because I forbid it. I’m saying it because it is not possible.’ He held his hands out and after a moment, Diana placed her hands in his. His skin was warm, small calluses on his fingers. She remembered those hands on her skin, the pleasure they’d given her, but now she didn’t want any of that.
‘Diana, look at me.’
She looked up into his golden-brown eyes. Gareth was looking at her with concern, his expression sad. ‘What is it?’
‘Darling, Cassius is dead.’
Diana gasped and pulled her hands from his grasp. ‘Peace. How? Did Kernan kill him? Did you?’ A surprising flush of rage ran over her. ‘Because that was my job.’
Gareth’s mouth twitched. ‘No. He killed himself. After you went to sleep, I went to tell him that he — ‘
Diana grabbed Gareth’s hands. ‘You went to see him? Are you mad? What if he’d taken over your mind, controlled you?’
‘I had a protector with me,’ Gareth said. ‘My mind was safe.’
‘How good is your protector?’
‘I’d say Kernan is one of the best.’
Diana dropped his hands again. ‘You used Kernan? Cass is going to kill you.’
‘I know.’ Gareth rubbed his ear and Diana guessed he’d already had to endure Cassandra screaming at him. ‘But Kernan is fully trained to endure capaz de pensa attacks, and we felt safe. So I went to see him and told him that we had you back, that he’d lost you. Not only that, but I was going to ensure he never became Pontifex. His reaction to that news was to kill himself.’
Diana turned and lurched over to a chair, her legs barely getting her there. She collapsed into it. Gareth came and crouched in front of her. He put his hands on her knees and Diana shuddered and pushed him away. That was too intimate a touch.
‘Tell me everything,’ she whispered. ‘I need to know.’
‘No, you don’t.’
Diana frowned. ‘Don’t live my life for me, Gareth.’
He bowed his head. ‘My apologies. But I hope you’ll understand that I don’t want to relive that moment. If you wish, there is video footage.’
She hadn’t considered it would be difficult for him. ‘I’m sorry. Of course you don’t have to tell me. I’ll watch the footage later. He’s really gone?’
‘He’s really gone. He can’t hurt you again.’
‘But there are other capaz de pensa, and they could do the same thing to other people. Could be doing it now.’
‘Yes.’
Diana leant forward. ‘Stop them. You need to find them and destroy them, Gareth.’
‘I will,’ he said. ‘After I’ve dealt with the Pontifex and her betrayal and secured the safety of my people, destroying the capaz de pensa will be my main objective.’
‘No, you need to do it now. Start it now, Gareth. I won’t feel safe until they’re gone.’
A pause. ‘All right.’
The anger and anxiety whooshed out of her and for a moment she was empty. Then she looked at the King of Angonia and guilt flooded her.
‘I’m sorry I believed him,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry I said those awful things to you. You would never hurt someone like that.’
‘Thank you,’ Gareth said. ‘But I knew that wasn’t really you speaking. You don’t need to apologise.’
Diana took a deep breath. ‘That’s kind of you, but hearing those words must have hurt.’
‘I knew once you came back to us you’d realise you were wrong and you’d trust me again.’
‘I do.’ Diana almost smiled. ‘I hope one day you can trust me.’
‘Always, forever and with everything,’ Gareth said. ‘I love you, Diana.’
This time, Diana did smile. ‘I love you too,’ she whispered. ‘But it’s not enough.’
The door slid open and Melina came in. ‘Your Majesty, the planetarium is ready.’
‘They can wait,’ Gareth barked and Diana flinched. His eyes widened. ‘Darling, I’m sorry. I don’t ever want to make you feel bad. I want you to be happy, always.’
‘I don’t think we can make each other happy,’ Diana whispered.
‘I’ll stall.’ Melina left.
Gareth reached out to touch Diana’s leg and she scooted back in the chair. ‘You see? I can’t bare the idea of you touching me. Of any man touching me, after what Cassius did.’
Gareth’s jaw tightened. ‘Now I’m wishing I did kill him.’ Diana frowned and he shook his head. ‘Sorry. Diana, I understand that you’ve been badly hurt, and you need time to heal. You’ve got that. If you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t. If you need me to hold you, I will, for as long as it takes. As long as you are here with me, and I get to talk to you and see you smile, that’s all I need.’
‘You say that now,’ Diana said. ‘But one day, you’ll want to have sex and I won’t be able to.’
‘I hope for your sake you won’t always feel like this, Diana, because it’s not you to not want to be loved. But even if it is, I’ll bear it. I’ll bear anything, for you.’
The door opened. ‘Your Majesty, I’m sorry but —’
‘It’s okay, Melina,’ Diana said. ‘He’s all yours now.’
Fear slashed across Gareth’s face. ‘Diana —’
‘You have your work to do, and I need to go home. So do what you must.’
This time it was Gareth who shuddered, but then he stood. He looked at her, a long moment that she knew she’d never forget, then he turned and walked into the planetarium room.
Diana took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then she looked at Melina. ‘Can you get me on the next flight to the elevator?’
‘Yes, Miss Wiltmore.’
Melina turned on her communicator and started talking. Diana hugged her knees to her chest and allowed the tears to stream, as silently she said her final goodbye to Gareth of Angonia.
***
Gareth was the only one in the planetarium chamber. Everyone else was visible to him on screens above the chairs they usually sat in. He’d arranged it that way but still, it felt strange to be in a planetarium meeting but for the room to be so quiet — he couldn’t remember the last time this had happened..
Now he was doubly glad he had done it this way, because the camera streaming his image to his fellow rulers hopefully wouldn’t show the tears that were threatening him, and he could use the electronics to hide the quaver in his voice.
For the first time in his reign, he wanted to be anywhere but here. For the first time, one person was more important to him than the entire population of Jorda.
And she didn’t want him to feel that way.
‘Gareth.’ It was Henry that spoke. ‘I don’t understand why you wanted to call an urgent planetarium meeting, but you didn’t want us to be there.’
Gareth banged his fist on his chair, hard, although out of sight of the others. The small shock of pain brought him to his senses. He needed to solve this problem now so he’d have the time to solve Diana’s problems later.
‘You didn’t hear the threat?’ he said. ‘It’s not safe to be in the palace at the moment. In fact, once this meeting is done, I will be leaving. I’ll be hiding out, until the people who have threatened me are caught.’
‘Only right,’ the Empress of Haityn said. ‘You need to be kept safe.’
‘Yes.’ Gareth sighed, and hoped it didn’t sound too fake. ‘A shame that all planetarium business must cease, but that is how it must be.’
‘I’m sure we’ll be fine,’ the Pontifex of Tatryn said.
‘Will we?’ said the Prince of Rica. ‘It’s coming up to the renewal of the balcite mining license. If it’s not renewed, then the RBMC has to stop work. No more balcite will be mined.’
‘We can’t let that happen,’ Henry said. ‘We need a steady supply of balcite to rebuild Flactor.’
‘And what of the next round of grants?’ the Empress of Haityn said. ‘I have many companies that are relying on those to continue business.’
‘My people are to produce the next calendar of festivals, which the planetarium needs to approve,’ the High Priest of Zagham said.
‘Well, perhaps this will teach you all to be less reliant on the planetarium,’ snapped the Pontifex. ‘Tatryn will be fine.’
‘I’m glad to hear it,’ Gareth said. ‘With trade paused with Angonia, and Flactor having to reconfigure its finances for the next few months, it’s going to be a tough time for many of us.’
‘We’ll need to rethink our strategy,’ the Empress of Haityn said.
‘Rica will be pulling back on most of its investment until the new license is fulfilled,’ the Prince said.
‘So it seems by the time this is over, Tatryn will be the only country in a sound financial position,’ Gareth said.
‘As we should be. We are a strong, resilient people,’ the Pontifex said.
Gareth could hear the satisfaction in her voice and it took everything ounce of his character not to snap at her. Instead, he continued to play the hand he believed would serve him best.
‘So, with a dire time facing us, there are some issues I want to resolve here and now,’ Gareth said. ‘First, I wanted to announce that Angonia will be ceasing trade with all the other countries of Jorda. I know this seems harsh, but our security is at stake. No one from another country will be allowed into Angonia, and no one will be allowed out.’
‘Diana!’ The Prince’s outburst wasn’t unexpected, but Gareth was surprised at the passion behind it. Diana had clearly won her liege lord over.
No surprise. She could win any man over. Now, the man she had truly won had to convince her to keep him.
‘Miss Wiltmore will remain here. As will Cassius.’ Saying his name brought to mind the moment of his death. Cassius had listened quietly, with a surprising calm, to Gareth’s announcement that Diana had been saved and Cassius would never control her again. Then he’d smiled, wistfully.
‘Please tell Diana I truly did love her. We would have been wonderful together.’ Cassius had bent and from his sock, drew out a long silver pin.
‘You, my King, will remember this all your days.’ Cassius lifted the pin and plunged it into his chest.
Gareth leapt forward to pull his hand away, remove the pin, save his life, but it was too late. Cassius’s eyes went wide with pain, then blank. He swayed, and then toppled backwards.
Gareth had stared at him, lying on the carpet and been undecided if his death was a good or bad thing.
Gareth blinked, bringing his thoughts back to the present. What had he been saying? Ah, yes…
‘If their marriage is to go ahead as scheduled, it will have to happen here. I’m afraid none of you will be able to attend.’
‘You still believe their marriage will go ahead?’ Gareth heard a trace of doubt in the Pontifex’s voice.
‘I can imagine that at this time, everyone is doubting whether it is appropriate,’ Gareth said.
‘I think that it would be a good thing for the people of Jorda, to see such a joyous event,’ the Empress of Haityn said.
‘As do I,’ said the High Priest.
‘If it is possible,’ the Pontifex said slowly, ‘then it would be my wish.’
You are questioning exactly where Cassius is at the moment, thought Gareth. ‘I have not spoken with them — I’ve not seen either of them since the ceremony at the flightport — but if they are agreeable, and the planetarium backs the idea…’
‘We do,’ said Henry.
‘Then let it happen,’ the Pontifex said. ‘But only if they both wish it.’
‘I will find out if they do.’ Gareth turned and pretended to be speaking to someone out of the others’ vision. They weren’t to know there was no one in the room but he. ‘I will have the news for you shortly. I promise you, Pontifex, that my people will ensure they have a wedding worthy of the next Pontifex of Tatryn.’
‘I am pleased to hear it.’ She sounded anything but. ‘If there is nothing else to discuss…’
‘There is,’ Gareth said. ‘I think we should question whether the planetarium should be disbanded.’
‘No.’ Even though she was thousands of kilometres away, the Empress of Haityn jumped to her feet. ‘It is the way we all work together that has delivered the solidity of Jorda that we all enjoyed.’
‘Are we solid? Do we work together? I know the Pontifex isn’t involved, but Tatryn has threatened Angonia. Just six months ago, Flactor threatened Rica. Has the planetarium lost its influence? Should we just focus on our own constituencies, and form our power based on that?’
‘No.’ Unsurprisingly, the Pontifex of Tatryn broke in. The only thing keeping Angonia and Tatryn in any sort of competition was the fact Angonia had to respect planetarium rules. ‘The planetarium is vital to the way Jorda runs.’
‘Then perhaps I should no longer be president of the planetarium,’ Gareth said.
‘Of course you should.’ The cry was echoed by Haityn, Rica, Flactor and Zagham. Gareth noted Tatryn stayed quiet.
‘We need your calm guidance,’ the Empress of Haityn purred.
‘Not to mention the fact being president and having to think of us all softens Angonia’s impact,’ the Prince of Rica said.
Gareth smiled. ‘If you’re sure…’
They all were. Even Tatryn murmured agreement.
‘Then, I put it to you, with the pressure on us, that we should all make a new commitment to the planetarium. That we should all stand before our people and vow our pledge to Jorda. That we should all have our minds scanned to ensure we have no ill feelings against each other so we can work together in peace.’
‘Surely that’s not necessary,’ Tatryn said.
‘It would show our people our commitment to the planetarium,’ Gareth said.
‘I like it,’ said the Empress. ‘I want my people to see that both Tatryn and Angonia are on our side. They are worried, frightened that they will be the next target of these groups in Tatryn.’
‘Yes, the question needs to be asked, what are you doing to stop these threats?’ the Prince of Rica said to the Pontifex.
Finally.
‘What are you accusing me of?’ The Pontifex’s voice echoed with outrage.
Too defensive too soon.
‘I’m accusing you of not doing enough to stop the terrorists in your midst,’ the Prince of Rica said. ‘If Angonia falls we all fall; we know this. Why has a second group developed, a second threat been made? I can assure you that even if a first threat had arisen from Rica, which it wouldn’t have, I would have made damn sure that a second didn’t.’
‘I don’t have a tiny mining community to rule,’ the Pontifex said. ‘I rule the second most populous country on Jorda. I am not responsible for what every single one of them thinks.’
‘No, but once you saw a pattern of thought moving in a destructive direction, surely you should have stopped it,’ Henry said.
‘What if they turn on us next?’ said the Empress.
‘They won’t. You’re all safe,’ the Pontifex said.
‘How do you know? You can’t guarantee that,’ the Empress said.
Except she can.
‘Well? Tell us what you’ve done to stop this,’ the Prince of Rica said.
‘I’ve supported the planetarium squad. My security forces have been helpful. When the wrongdoers have been found, I’ll not stand in the way. What else should I do?’ the Pontifex said.
‘Publicly denounce it,’ the Prince said. ‘You’ve done so to us, but I’ve been watching the news from Tatryn, and no such message has come out there. In fact, I’d have to say that while they deplored the Tatrynians killed at the flightport, the Angonian deaths were reported with something akin to delight. It was disgusting.’
‘If you saw such a message, then it was wrong,’ said the Pontifex. ‘Tell me who said it, and I will deal with them.’
‘That’s not the point,’ said the Prince. ‘The point is, you’ve not come out and said, “Don’t threaten Angonia. Don’t bomb Angonia”. With the weird things your people think, that’s what you need to do.’
‘My people know attacking innocent Angonians is wrong,’ the Pontifex said.
‘What counts as innocent?’ Gareth stepped into the conversation, glad the Prince had been doing such a great job. ‘Don’t I count as innocent? You’ve not denounced the threat against me.’
‘No, you haven’t.’ The Empress sounded aghast. ‘Why haven’t you done so?’
‘I didn’t believe it needed to be stated publicly,’ the Pontifex said. Every word was spoken crisply, as if dragged from deep within. ‘But if you believe it should be, I will do so.’
‘And find them,’ said Henry. ‘Find the people who have threatened the King of Angonia, and destroy them. Only then will you prove you’re dedicated to the planetarium.’
‘Yes,’ cried the Empress.
‘Indeed,’ said the Prince.
‘Don’t destroy them,’ said the High Priest of Zagham. ‘They must be handed over for questioning. We need to find out what they know, so we can stop this horror once and for all.’
‘Very well,’ the Pontifex said.
Gareth took a moment to think of those people. They weren’t innocent, but either their lives were over, or their brains would be so scrambled they might as well be.
Then it was time to move on. ‘I’ve heard from Diana and Cassius. They still want to get married.’
‘They do?’ Surprise echoed through the Pontifex’s words.
‘Yes, and soon. They agree with the Empress and the High Priest that the marriage should take place next week. It will be here, in the palace. I shall officiate.’
‘Wonderful.’ The Empress clapped her hands.
‘As Diana and Cassius wish,’ the Pontifex murmured.
‘As Angonian tradition demands, they will be having a mindscan tomorrow, to ensure there are no reasons for them not to be wed. Untrusting of us, I know, but we want to make sure every marriage is for real.’ Gareth smiled and waited.
‘No.’ The Pontifex surged forward so quickly, her face took up all of the screen Gareth was looking at. ‘There will be no mindscans.’
‘No mindscans, no wedding,’ Gareth said.
‘Diana must be wed,’ the Prince of Rica said. ‘She has appeared in public with him as his fiancée. All of Rica is expecting the match. This wedding will take place, so they will have the mindscans.’
‘I say, no,’ the Pontifex cried. ‘It is an affront.’
Gareth grabbed the arms of his chair. So close. ‘Why are you so concerned? Do you believe Diana has something to hide?’
‘Of course not,’ the Prince of Rica snapped. ‘Diana is a wonderful girl.’
‘Then are you worried about Cassius?’
‘No,’ the Pontifex said.
‘Then it is done. Diana and Cassius will be mindscanned tonight. They will be married next week, in a secret location. I’m afraid we can’t broadcast it.’
‘Then how will we know it happened?’ the Pontifex said.
‘Mindscan me,’ Gareth said. ‘I don’t mind. I have nothing to hide from any of you. I am willing to open myself before you all.’
‘As am I,’ the Pontifex shot back. ‘But —’
‘Good,’ Gareth said. ‘You all heard the Pontifex agree to a mindscan.’
‘Wait a minute.’ Her face, which had shrunken back from the screen as she relaxed, surged so close to the screen that Gareth could see the pores across her nose. ‘I didn’t agree to any such thing.’
‘You agreed to a mindscan if I would.’ Gareth nodded and the machine was wheeled into the centre of the chamber. ‘Here’s mine. Where’s yours?’
‘This is ridiculous.’ The Pontifex pushed herself back into her chair. ‘I will not have a mindscan.’
‘Then I will,’ Gareth said. ‘And it will show everything I’ve seen and heard. Including conversations that people thought were secret. Conversations about family, and tattoos, and stockpiles.’
‘What are you talking about, Gareth?’ Henry said. Gareth focussed his attention on the Pontifex and watched the colour drain out of her face.
‘Well, Your Excellency? I’m willing to come clean. Are you?’
‘I will,’ spoke up the Empress of Haityn. ‘I’ve got nothing to hide.’
‘This isn’t necessary,’ the High Priest said. ‘I will come to see each of you. I will look into you, see the truth, and know.’
It was a way out for the Pontifex, but really it wasn’t because she would always know that somehow Gareth had found her out. She glared at Gareth and he looked calmly back and felt certain he’d won.
‘I do not doubt,’ she said slowly, ‘that we will find that all we’ve worried about will be for naught, and that all the threats against you are frivolous.’
‘And the stockpile of balcite that allegedly abides in Tatryn?’
‘My security forces will make locating it and handing it back to the RBMC their first priority.’
‘And that assistance is why Tatryn is one of the greatest countries on Jorda,’ Gareth said.
The Pontifex grunted and broke the connection.
‘And so our meeting comes to an end, my friends,’ Gareth said.
‘I will come visit everyone to give them peace,’ the High Priest of Zagham said.
‘I hope the threat eases soon, so we can return to normal,’ the Empress said.
Gareth nodded and then cut them off. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. There would be a day or two before he’d know if it had worked, but he was sure he’d convinced the Pontifex to call off her strike against him.
Now it was time to take on the most difficult task — convince Diana that she should stay with him, that he could heal her, and that they belonged together.
Gareth stepped into his office and the deep silence hit him like a landslide. Even though he looked, he knew that Diana was gone.
He slumped at his desk and then noticed his tablet flashing, signalling a message. Knowing it would be from her, his hand shook as he turned it on.
Gareth, you’ve been so wonderful, helping me to see the truth and giving me the strength to throw Cassius’s control off. But that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t be the woman you want me to be, the woman you need me to be. I’ve gone back to Rica. You need to forget about me, and move on. Now that you’ve learnt to trust someone, you’ll find a wonderful woman worthy of being your wife and Queen of Angonia. Goodbye, and my love goes with you always. Diana.
Gareth flopped back in the chair, tapping his chin. There had to be something he could do to convince Diana that she would overcome this horror and they could have a full, satisfying, wonderful relationship.
It seemed for now, he just needed to give her some space. She needed counselling and time to get over the worst of her pain. Then, he’d do whatever it took to make her his again.