January 19
“He’s the reason, isn’t he?”
Kat swung away from the filing cabinet to find her sister standing inside the small office in the back of the Den. “What?”
“Brady. He’s the reason you never followed through on all the talk about being a lawyer, about getting off the mountain?”
Sighing, Kat shook her head. “No. Not even close.”
“But—”
“I never wanted to leave the mountain.”
Gordie tilted her head, studied Kat as though she’d smeared her on one of those medical slides she was so fond of and pushed it under a microscope. “You’re going to have to explain that to me. You never talked about staying here. Taking over the Den.”
Kat laughed but there was no humor in it. “How could I? Why would I? What would you all have said if I’d voiced what I wanted? Jeez, you and Dad are doctors, Mom’s a nurse. I barely made it out of high school and would have quit sooner if Mom and Dad had let me.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“You wouldn’t understand. All you ever wanted was to get away.”
“No. All I ever wanted was to fit in!”
Kat eyed her sister. “Is that why you mated Anthony? To fit in?” God. How had she missed that?
Anthony had been an outsider who’d only lived in Whispering Springs a couple of years when Gordie accepted his mate claim.
Gordie glanced away. “We wanted the same thing.”
God. So much of her sister’s past began to make sense. “To belong.”
“Yeah.”
“But you did. You were, are, my sister. How could you think you didn’t fit? I worshiped you. To the point I ignored what I wanted and said I wanted what you told me I should.”
“What?”
Laughing, Kat asked, “You don’t remember?” At Gordie’s head shake she continued, “Jeez. We were arguing over something, I can’t even remember what or when, and you said that I should be a lawyer. I would make a great lawyer because I could argue under water even when I was wrong.”
“And you went with that? Jesus, Kat, you were born a nurturer. Running the Den fits you. Every time I see you I’m reminded of Granny Roe. The way you both always feed people, check they’re okay. You might be bossy with it but your heart is behind it. I don’t think you’ve met anyone you didn’t want to mother, didn’t love in some way.”
“Love is not what I feel for the Connellys.”
“Malcolm and Marcus.”
“What?”
“It was Malcolm and Marcus. You can’t tar Brady with the same brush, Kat. He was just a kid when he left here.”
“He’s one of them.”
Gordie sighed and shook her head. “No. He was never like them; even as a kid he was different, and he hasn’t been here for over a decade. Whatever it is you’ve got going on in your head about him, it’s has nothing to do with what his father and brother did.” Gordie moved closer, put her hand on Kat’s arm. “What did Brady do, Kat?”
Kat’s spine snapped straight. Was she so easy to read? “He’s a Connelly.”
“Yes. He is. But he’s not the Connelly who tried to kill me. Or the one who tried to run Quinn down. Or the one who turned humans against their will and left them to suffer. Or the one who terrorized Rowen. Kidnapped El. Those and many more deeds were perpetrated by either Marcus or Malcolm Connelly. So tell me Kat. What has Brady ever done to us?”
“He left! Without a word. Up and gone when he’d promised!”
“Promised what?” Gordie prodded.
Sighing, Kat muttered, “He’d always be my friend. Always be there.”
“When? When did he promise you that?”
“The year before he left.”
“So when he was a kid, when he had no control over his life or what happened. Don’t you think you owe him the opportunity to explain? Don’t you want to know why he left, why he didn’t come back until now?”
“No!” She yanked her arm out of her sister’s grasp. “I don’t care. He lied to me!”
Gordie grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “Stop. Stop thinking with a teenager’s pain and think. Think about why, what could have made his mother pack up and leave in the middle of the night. Think about what Malcolm Connelly did to this pack while he was sovereign. Think about the things Marcus did, when he was a kid and when he was an adult. Think about those things, then think about what it must have been like to live with those two men. Think, Kat.” Gordie gave her another shake, harder enough to clack her teeth this time. “Think about what happened the day you asked Marcus about his brother.”
Oh god.
She hadn’t thought about that day in years. Brady had been gone nearly two years when she’d run into Marcus outside the cafe. She’d asked him about his brother and when he hadn’t answered her, tried to brush past, she’d grabbed his arm and begged him to tell her where Brady was.
Unaware of the senior Connelly coming up behind her, she’d peppered Marcus with questions. He’d remained silent and only when his gaze drifted behind her did she turn and find an angry Malcolm staring down at her.
The sovereign had yanked her hand from Marcus’s arm and bent over until his face was right in hers, his hand squeezing her forearm so hard she thought he’d break it, and yelled at her to never mention that name again.
There were more words spewed about betrayal, desertion, running away like a coward, but to this day Kat couldn’t remember all that Malcolm Connelly had said because the pain in her arm had been too great. Her brain had screamed in agony, the internal screech ringing in her ears until she heard nothing else.
It was only when William Brant happened by that the sovereign let go and stepped back with a smile on his face. She definitely remembered his next words.
You be careful now, Kathren; a half-blood like yourself wouldn’t want to have an accident like your sister.
It hadn’t been a direct threat but the implication was there all the same. It was in his eyes too. Dark, evil eyes that made her skin crawl, made her shrink away in fear.
She hadn’t said a word to anyone before sprinting away. She’d headed straight home and hadn’t told anyone about it until Gordie had asked about the bruises on her arm. Swearing her sister to secrecy, she’d hidden the bruising under long sleeves until there wasn’t a trace of them and never mentioned the incident again.
In fact, she’d all but wiped it from her mind.
“He’s not to blame, Kat. You owe him an apology,” Gordie said softly.
Kat took her sister’s words for what they were. A suggestion as well as a reprimand. “I wouldn’t go that far,” she muttered.
“Well, maybe you could do something that would be a peace offering at least.”
“Like what?”
“He’s been out at the Connelly house for days. No one has seen him or heard from him and you know as well as I do if he’d been in town, you’d have heard about it at the Den from those old gossips.”
“Maybe he left.” Kat wasn’t sure why that thought made her chest hurt and her coyote howl. Okay, fine, she knew.
Gordie arched one eyebrow but remained quiet.
“Fine. I’ll see about getting some meals organized for him. I’m sure he’s got work to do on the house and he’s a guy so he probably can’t cook anyway. He’ll starve to death or freeze to death if he’s left alone out there for too long.”
Gordie’s smile held a secret knowledge that Kat wasn’t privy to.
“What? What’s that smile?”
“Oh nothing. Be sure to tell him there’s no rush on deciding what to do with the bodies.”
“Bodies?” Kat thrust a hand up to stop her sister’s reply as soon as her brain clicked. “Don’t say it.”
“It doesn’t hurt me to say their names.”
“No, but it will remind me and I don’t need any more reminders than my memories, thanks.”
“Are you ever going to admit you saw me?”
Kat’s gaze locked with Gordie’s. “How…?”
“Steve saw you. He told me because he thinks your constant hovering is because you’re not dealing with seeing me covered in blood and thinking the worst.”
“I’m dealing.”
“No. You’re coping.”
Kat shrugged. “Same thing.”
“No. It’s not.” Gordie reached for Kat’s hand. “I’m here to talk any time you want.”
“You don’t need to talk about it.”
“I don’t now, but I did. And more importantly, I need you to know I’ve come to terms with what I did, Kat. I want you to accept it too.”
“Accept it? Jesus, Gordie, I’d have killed him if you hadn’t. The only regret I have is that you had to do it.”
Smiling, Gordie murmured, “You sound like Steve.”
“We both know you and love you, and with everything you believe in, we understand that taking a life isn’t something you’d ever want to do.” Unlike her. Kat still wanted to kill Marcus. If she could raise the dead she would, just so she could kill him all over again.
“No, I’d never want to but I’m comfortable with the fact I had to.”
“Comfortable?”
“It was the right decision. For me and for the pack. If I had to live it again, I’d do it exactly the same.”
“You would?” Kat studied her sister. Tried to gauge the truth in Gordie’s words. She couldn’t find any sign of a lie.
“In a heartbeat. And if I’m honest, I’d have to admit I’d tell everyone about the attack in the mountains all those months before, and all the little things that were happening at the clinic and the house, about my suspicions; I wouldn’t keep those to myself so I guess I would do some of it differently.”
“I was so angry with you when I found out you’d hidden all that. Especially Rowan’s wedding dress. Christ, Gordie, I was there, in the house when you found it.”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone and Steve has given me enough grief over it for everyone so you don’t have to worry about my lack of disclosure going unpunished,” she said with a cheeky little smile.
Kat held up a hand again. “Do not tell me about Steve’s punishments.”
Gordie’s grin said it all. It thrilled Kat to see her so in love.
“I’m glad you’re happy.” She pulled her sister into a tight hug. “You deserve so much and I’m so glad you finally let Steve in. He’d give you the moon if you let him.”
“I know.” Gordie gave her a squeeze. “You deserve everything too. Don’t do what I did. Don’t let something pass you by because it’s not in the plan.”
“I’m not—”
“Don’t lie to me. Lie to yourself if you have to, but you can’t lie to me.” Gordie let go and gripped Kat’s shoulders, holding her at arm’s length. “I know what it looks like, Kat. I stared at that lie in the mirror every day for years. It cost me years of happiness, almost cost me my life and it definitely came close to costing me the best future I could wish for because I refused to let Steve in. Don’t be me. Let Brady in.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Oh, really?” Gordie asked with a skeptical arch of her eyebrow and tilt of her head.
“Okay, fine.” Kat pulled away and paced behind her desk, swung around, and took the three steps back again. “He’s my mate.”
“What?” Gordie’s eyes popped wide, her mouth dropped open, then closed, opened, closed. “Mate,” she whispered. “Are you sure?”
“Sure as I can be.” She shrugged. “He has my coyote clawing to get out so she can roll over and offer her belly. She’s never done that for a man before.”
“Wow. Okay. Okay. So you really do need to apologize then.”
Kat had to agree with her sister. Even if she hadn’t decided to accept the mating bond with Brady, she needed to make peace with him. Needed to get to know him again. For her sake as well as his, she needed to forget his last name and all the trouble his family had caused hers.