Brady placed the last journal on the second stack and leaned back against the couch. “That’s it. That’s all of them?”
“I’ve got half a box to finish yet, but there aren’t any more journals in here.” Ren continued to pull things from the box in front of her.
It was dark out; then again, it had gone dark hours ago when the storm closed in on them. He’d started a fire and the furnace was pumping warm air through all the rooms to ward off the cold. The wind still managed to sneak in. Through cracks in the walls and floors. Brady had been mentally adding things to his list of improvements throughout the afternoon.
“We should take a break when you finish and have some dinner.”
“I put lasagna in the oven when I went to the bathroom. It should be ready soon,” Ren admitted without looking up, her gaze intent on the paper she’d just pulled from the box.
“You already put dinner on?” She blew his mind. He hadn’t thought about dinner until he’d gotten through all his boxes and checked his watch to see they’d been at it for hours. It had been even longer since they’d eaten anything.
“Hmm…” She was focused on the paper in her hand, her brow scrunching up, her lips moving as she silently read. “Brady, do you have another brother? Other than Marcus?”
“What? No, it was just me and Marcus.” He straightened away from the couch. “Why?”
“This is a birth certificate for Jacob Connelly and if my math is right, he’d be about twenty-two.”
“Four years younger than me?”
“Yeah. This is weird though. The mother is listed as Michelle Watson but the father is unknown. How can that be?”
What the fuck? His mother had another child? He couldn’t remember her being pregnant or having a baby or there being any kids besides him and Marcus. And why would it list her maiden name? “I don’t understand…”
“I’ll put it with the journals. But it reminds me, did you find your birth certificate, or Marcus’s?”
“No. They weren’t in the boxes I went through. You didn’t find them?”
Shaking her head, Ren kept studying the paper in her hand. “This is bizarre. I wonder if Dad would know about it? He would have taken care of your mom while she was pregnant. Probably attended the birth. He should have records of you and Marcus too.”
“Does he keep records for that far back?”
“I think so. And I know Gordie scanned everything into a database when she took over the clinic so she’d have the information if it was recorded. Plus she’s doing some kind of pack history thing where she’s logging all members born in the pack, their family line, and where they are now.”
“And if this Jacob wasn’t recorded?” he asked, his gaze glued to the pile of journals. They looked innocent enough except they might hold an untold number of bombs within their pages.
“Then we hope the answers are in those books. Or maybe one of the older pack members would know. Possibly Grammy Brant.”
“I’d have been four. You three. Gordie’s the same age as Marcus, right? So they would have been nine? She might remember something. My mom being pregnant or a new baby.”
“Maybe. But I don’t remember all that much before I was around twelve.”
“I guess I’m the same, but a baby is a significant event. And Gordie always struck me as super observant. She’d remember something like that. Especially seeing how all she ever wanted to do when we were little was play doctor.”
“True. I’ll send her a message after dinner.”
Brady grabbed his phone. “We could call her now.”
“It’s not urgent. We’ll have dinner and then I’ll call. I know she doesn’t hold a grudge against you but I’d like to handle this, if it’s all right with you.”
“You don’t want me to talk to her? You think I’ll upset her?”
“No. I know she doesn’t blame you for what your brother and father did, and I’m glad for that. I just feel as though I should ask her this.”
“Okay, but you know I have to talk to her about the bodies, right? It’s not like I can avoid her forever. Not when we’re…” He didn’t say mates; he didn’t have to. Ren might be ignoring it for now, but much like his mother’s journals, their mate status affected more than them. Her family would have to accept their mating, and as far as he was concerned, the sooner the better. Of course he should probably wait until Ren accepted it. And agreed to the mating bond.
Sighing, she dropped the birth certificate next to the pile of journals. “You’re right. I’m being stupid. Gordie might have moved on from the attack but it appears as if I’m still struggling with it.”
“Wait. You were there? Did he hurt you?”
“What? Oh, no. I wasn’t there until after. It might be easier to deal with if I had been there for the whole thing though. I’ll never get over seeing Gordie lying in a pool of blood.” She shuddered. “Even with the knowledge that it wasn’t hers, I find it difficult to wipe that fear from my mind and heart.”
“I’m sorry.” If he’d packed up and moved back here right after his mother died instead of waiting months, he might have been able to get through to Marcus. Stop him from trying to kill Gordie.
“For what?”
“Marcus. If I’d been here maybe I could have—”
“No way.” She sat up straight. “There is no way you could have done anything. God, we all knew he had been terrorizing Gordie and we still let her and a heavily pregnant woman go off alone. I’m just glad it turned out the way it did. Neither Gordie nor Tatum were badly hurt and they both seem to be doing well. Tatum and Dale have reconciled since then, so that was a good thing to come out of the attack.”
“I just wish I’d been here.”
“Why, so Marcus could have had another target? Don’t for one minute think he would have welcomed you back with open arms. He’d isolated himself after your father died, well when we all thought he had, but I guess Marcus probably knew he wasn’t dead the whole time. Then when Malcolm tried to run Quinn down and ended up really dead, your brother became even less sociable. Not that he ever was. From the time Malcolm became sovereign, Marcus acted as though everyone was beneath him and held himself apart from the rest of us.”
“Dad’s hatred of half-bloods and non-bloods would have influenced Marcus.”
“Yes, they would have, and as much as I want to blame Marcus for that, I can’t. Your father raised him, molded him.” Ren shuffled on her knees until she knelt beside him. “And as much as I hated that you left, it probably saved you from a similar fate. I have to think your mother knew what would happen and tried to remove you both from Malcolm’s orbit.”
“I was never in his orbit. Marcus was always the favorite. Dad barely said two words to me most days. The only time he paid me any attention was when he needed someone to blame for something. And his fists did a lot of the talking then anyway.”
“As much as I missed you, I’m thankful to your mother for taking you away from that. From him.”
“I’m not sure I can be as generous. She cut away everything I’d ever known because of one man. I get that she felt it was her only option, and maybe it was, except she forbade me from contacting anyone here. She kept me from you and I can’t forgive her for that.”
“You will.”
“I don’t see how.”
“She loved you enough to risk her life, Brady. If he’d caught you leaving…” A shudder wracked her. “She hurt you emotionally, and I have to believe she knew she would by insisting you not contact anyone. I know we don’t know exactly what went on but I remember your mom, and what I remember is a woman who wasn’t scared of facing Malcolm. I’d seen him get angry at her numerous times at the clinic when we were little. Something had to have happened for her to believe her only choice was to run and not look back.”
“If what my father said about the Wilders is true, then I guess she thought he’d kill her if she stood in his way. I remember him yelling at her to keep her trap shut, something about not telling tales because accidents happened all the time.”
Ren gasped, her hand reaching for his, gripping and squeezing tight. “He said something like that to me. It was after you were gone, after Gordie and Anthony had their accident.”
“Anthony? What accident?”
“They were driving to the city for school when they were involved in a hit and run. Anthony died instantly and Gordie lost their baby while she was trapped in the wreck.”
“When did this happen? After I left?”
“Yes, it was after that your dad made it clear I wasn’t to mention you again.”
“How? Why? You’ll have to give it all to me, Ren. Why would he tell you not to mention me?”
“I asked Marcus about you but he wouldn’t answer me, didn’t say a word, and you know me, I don’t give up so easily so I kept badgering him. Your father came up behind me, grabbed my arm, and told me not to mention you again. Then he warned me to be careful, that a half-blood like me didn’t want to have an accident like my sister.”
“Fucking hell.” He reached over and pulled her against him. “I’m sorry he did that. Sorry I wasn’t here to stop him.”
Ren snuggled into his side, one hand pressed to his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. “You couldn’t have stopped him. He was sovereign and he didn’t directly threaten me.”
“I wish he were alive so I could kill him,” he growled. “I hope he died a painful death. He hurt so many people, tried to destroy so much… God. I can’t believe I come from that.”
“You’re nothing like him.”
“How do you know? You haven’t seen me in a decade.”
“I know you, Brady. I’ve always known you. Deep down where it matters.”
She was right. And he could say the same about her. They might not know the little things like favorite color or food but they knew each other’s heart. It was too soon to declare his love but it was there—had always been there—warming his chest and now giving him hope for a future with her.
It explained his lack of interest in any other woman. He’d always been in love with Ren. Had been waiting for the day he could come back to her.
Would she think him an idiot for waiting? For hoping she’d be his first?
Would she think less of him because of his inexperience?
He should tell her before they went any further. She might not want to be with him once she knew the truth.
Brady stared down at the top of Ren’s head. How did he tell her...he swallowed, took a deep breath, and jumped right in. “I’ve never had sex with a woman.”
Her head tipped back, her long lashes fluttering, her brows pulling in, a delicate wrinkle forming between them. “You’re gay?” she asked in a whisper filled with disappointment and disbelief.
“No! Jesus, fuck no.” He shook his head. “Why would you even think that?” Grabbing her hand, he placed it over his hard cock. “Have you not seen the way I react to you? Fuck, it doesn’t matter how many times I jerk off, I can’t get the damn thing to go down.”
“But you just said...” Her eyes slowly widened, her fingers twitching on his denim covered shaft, as the true meaning of his words registered. “Holy shit. You’ve never had sex?”
For a second she remained wide-eyed, incredulity written all over her face, and Brady felt his own face heat with embarrassment. Then her expression cracked, she pulled away, doubled over, and laughed her ass off.
For a stunned moment he remained silent, then emotion flooded him. “What the hell is funny about this?”
“Sorry,” she gurgled, her laughter scrambling her words. “Give me. A sec.”
Brady crossed his arms and waited for Ren to get herself under control. The embarrassment of moments ago was quickly overshadowed by anger. There wasn’t anything funny about being a twenty-six year old virgin.
It hadn’t been a conscious decision. His mother had been quite adamant that he not jump into sex when he was a teenager. She made it perfectly clear what the consequences of such an act could be and he’d heeded her warnings.
And if he were honest, he hadn’t met anyone who made him want to change his decision because he wasn’t looking. He knew who he wanted. Ren. He wanted the girl he’d been in love with all his life.
The one who was busting a gut laughing at him.