Kat pulled in a breath and tried to stop laughing.
Jesus. They were fucked.
Or not.
That thought had her snorting a giggle.
Shit. This was not going the way she thought it would. Neither of them had any practical experience and they were fighting a mating bond that amplified hormones.
Humans thought teenagers were horny; they had nothing on a coyote shifter in the middle of a mating dance.
“Damn. We’re in trouble,” she mumbled.
Brady frowned. “Well, someone is.”
Kat stared at him as she pulled in deeper breaths and found some level of normalcy. He sat there with his arms crossed, face in a menacing scowl, and in spite of the anger rolling off him, she couldn’t ignore the embarrassment and disappointment swirling in his eyes, or the arousal buzzing in her veins.
She had to clear the air. Make him understand she wasn’t laughing at him. She was laughing at the situation they found themselves in.
“We both are.”
He cocked one eyebrow but the scowl remained.
“We’re on the same page.”
“Huh?”
“We’re starting this at the same place.”
Shaking his head, he dropped his arms to his sides, and hands clenched, growled, “Stop talking in riddles. Why the fuck are we both in trouble?”
“Because neither of us knows what we’re doing here.”
“Of course not, we haven’t found our mates until now.”
Seemed she wasn’t the only one slow on the uptake today. She couldn’t believe for one second she’d thought he was trying to tell her he was gay. She’d spent most of the day trying to ignore the bulge in his pants, the hungry looks, the sensual brush of fingers when they’d passed things back and forth.
“No. We haven’t. But it’s the fact that neither of us have had sex before that means we’re in trouble.”
His mouth dropped open, snapped shut. Nostrils flaring, he dragged in a deep breath. “We’re both virgins?” he asked in a strangled voice.
Kat nodded.
It was slow, but Brady’s lips curled up and parted to reveal straight white teeth. She’d say the smile looked wolfish but he was a coyote and that would be an insult. Whatever she called it, that curve of his mouth telegraphed loud and clear that he was pleased by her revelation.
“You’re happy about that?”
“Hell, yes. It means no one else will ever touch you. You’re mine. Only mine.”
“Ah, okay, that sounds a little too alpha for me.” A shiver of excitement traveled over her skin, making her words a lie. She definitely liked his alpha vibe.
“The reverse applies.”
“The reverse?”
“You’ll be the only one to ever touch me.”
“Oh.” A curl of pleasure unfurled in her belly. The thought of being the first to touch Brady, to give him pleasure, had her coyote rumbling in approval.
“We get to explore together.”
“Explore?” God, she sounded like a parrot. She’d never had her mind confused by lust before. Would it always be like this?
“Sex. We get to explore sex together.”
“Explore sex…” Okay. She could get behind that. Now that she actually wanted sex, she could think of numerous things she wanted to try. Except… Sighing, she said, “We can’t.”
“What? Why not?”
“Because I’m not ready to be marked—mated.”
“We can still fool around some.”
“No. We can’t.” Shaking her head, she explained, “I’ve heard the mating connection amplifies our sensitivity. It’s how Brogan marked El before she even knew coyote shifters existed.”
“El? Brogan’s mate?”
“Yes, she’s the woman Rowen lived with when she left the mountains.”
“Rowen left Whispering Springs?”
“Oh shit.” She shook her head. “I forget you haven’t been here. You don’t know everything that happened since…”
“I want to know. I want you to share everything with me.”
“Some of it involves Marcus and your dad. And those parts aren’t good.”
Brady took a deep breath. “Doesn’t matter. I want to know it all.”
“Why don’t we start with all the mates? Brogan is mated to El. She’s Australian and has a really cool accent. Then there are Rowen and Quinn. Everyone knew that would happen since they were younger, so when she came home, nobody was surprised they mated straight away. They’re the reason El came here even though she was human and we don’t usually let them this high on the mountain. Gordie and Steve—”
“Steve McKenna?”
“Yes. They’re true mates unlike her and Anthony.”
“Anthony?”
“He was a distant cousin to the Brants. Came to live here a few years before you left. You don’t remember him?”
Shaking his head, he said, “No, but he doesn’t matter, Gordie’s with Steve now.”
“Yes, they got together at Christmas but they’ve been doing the dance for years. Gordie was being stubborn.”
“Runs in the family.”
“What does?”
“Nothing.” He did a rolling motion with his hand. “Go on.”
“Right, Dale and Tatum would be next. He came home over a year ago and Tatum followed just this past Christmas. There’s a huge story there but I don’t know all the details. Something about them having a third mate who died. I’m not sure what that means, but I do remember Cade from when we were younger. He and Dale were best friends and always together, remember?”
“I think I remember them. And they both mated Tatum? Tatum Brant?”
“Apparently.”
“Interesting. I remember Dad saying something about William Brant’s half-blood granddaughter once. Before his hatred of non-bloods extended to half-bloods, he tried to talk Marcus into dating her but she was a few years younger than him; I think she’s younger than us too. Anyway, Marcus said he wasn’t into fucking little girls.”
“Jesus. He said that?”
“If I’m remembering right, she hadn’t shifted for the first time yet. So Marcus might have been crude but he was right.”
“I’m not sure how much longer your dad pushed the Tatum thing because at some point Marcus turned his sights on Rowen. His obsession led him to attack her one day and she, like you, disappeared in the middle of the night. She stayed away six years. Long enough for Brogan and Quinn to take over as sovereign and regal.”
“A lot has happened in thirteen years.”
“It has. Let’s leave the rest of the history lesson for later.” She pushed to her feet and offered her hand. “Dinner, then I’ll call Gordie about taking a look at those records.”
“Okay, I’ll take care of the dishes while you call your sister.”
It didn’t take them long to get dinner on the small, scarred table in the pokey little dining room. Most of the furniture was worn, old, and Kat wondered if Brady would want to replace it with his own things.
Brady ignored his food and looked around the room. “What do you think about taking down the walls between here and the kitchen and living room?” He pointed to the walls behind her and opposite.
Kat swallowed the bite of lasagna she’d just taken. “Me?”
“Yes, you. What do you think? The kitchen is too small as is and you’ll want a bigger oven for starters, a bigger refrigerator too, so we should plan the space to accommodate larger appliances as well as an island counter I think.”
“Me?” she squeaked. “Why would you need my opinion or preferences?”
His gaze returned to hers. “Because this will be our home and I want you to have input. The place needs renovating, bringing up to date, and I want you to have the things you like and need.”
“Brady. I can’t move in with you. You’ve just come back. Besides, I have my apartment above the Den—”
“You’re my mate. We’re going to eventually complete the bonding and I want you to live here. I don’t care if it’s tomorrow, next week, next year—okay, fine, next year better not be on option,” he said with a grin. “But this place needs love and care and I want us both to give it that love and care. I want to give it to you, too, want you to give it to me.”
“I.” Kat closed her mouth. Swallowed. She had no idea what to say.
“Honestly, no pressure. I get that we need to work our way up to that point but I’ve got two months before I start work at Wild Encounters and I want to do some of the renovations before then. I already started knocking down the wall between the two back bedrooms in prep for the new master suite.”
“You knocked down a wall? Do you even know how to do that?”
“Sure.” He grinned. “You just take to it with a sledge hammer.”
“Brady!” Was he crazy? “You can’t just knock down walls. You have to check the roof won’t cave in, make sure there aren’t any electrical wires or water pipes…” She took in his smile, the twinkle in his eyes. “You know all that, don’t you?”
“I may have done construction and demolition work before. I checked all those things. But don’t worry. I plan to consult a builder about the second story addition.”
“Second story…”
“Yes. I thought we’d put a second story on so we didn’t take up any more yard space. I figured four bedrooms for the kids and possibly a fifth for guests.”
“Four?”
“You don’t want four?”
“Brady, I haven’t even thought about having one, never mind four.”
“We should probably talk about that. I’d like four. How many do you want?”
“I.” She closed her eyes. He was doing her head in. She hadn’t decided to accept their mating bond yet and he was planning their home and how many children they would have. “Brady, I can’t,” she sighed.
“Okay, forget about that. Tell me what your ideal kitchen would look like.”
Opening her eyes, Kat stared at the man who’d been her childhood friend. He’d been her best friend. The one she told all her secrets too, the one who’d told her his. She remembered talking about what they wanted to do as adults. Brady had wanted to be a forest ranger so he could protect the mountains, and she’d wanted to run the Den.
She’d achieved her goal; had he?
“What will you be doing at Wild Encounters?”
“Taking treks into the mountain. Day treks and overnighters.”
“Like a forest ranger?”
Brady laughed. “God, you remember that? Yeah, I guess in a way I’m like a forest ranger. Except I get to tell people what to do and what not to do on the treks. As a ranger, I wouldn’t really have that much control over what people did, and I’d have to work within the constraints of a human government employer. At least working for Brogan and Quinn I can help other shifters as well as the forest and animals that call it home.”
“You dreamed of being a ranger.”
“I did. But this is better. And I get to be here in Whispering Springs. I finally got to come home.”
Kat smiled. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He reached across the table and grabbed her hand. “In case you’re wondering, when I say home, I don’t just mean this house or the mountain. I mean you, Ren.”
“I don’t want to rush.”
“I know.”
“But I do want to move forward.” What she really wanted was to kiss him but she wasn’t sure they could stop at one.
“Okay.”
“And I think we can explore sex without marking each other.”
“Oh, how?” His hand tightened around hers.
“We can relieve some of this tension, make the whole thing less stressful.”
“How? I can’t be in a room with you and not want inside you,” he said. The muscles in his arm where it rested on the table quivered, in fact his whole body vibrated in his seat. He was holding back. Letting her lead when clearly he wanted to take control.
“Okay, I get that. I want that too. Eventually, but… I’m not ready to close the deal. It feels like I’m on a runaway train and there’s nothing I can do to stop it except slow it down a bit. Give myself—us—some time to think about this.”
“I don’t need time.” Brady dropped her hand and stood; stepping around the table he moved toward her. “I know what I want. What I’ve always wanted. It’s why I waited.”
“Fuck, Brady, don’t lay that on me. No pressure, right?”
“Sorry. I’m trying. Honestly. But this need for you is riding me harder than any mountain trek I’ve been on. I’m sweating and out of breath and shaking, and goddammit, I think I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t get inside you soon.”
She could see he was struggling, maybe more than she was because she wanted to hold back. He didn’t. He wanted to barrel into this thing full speed, arms wide open. Kat didn’t know if she could do that.
On some level, she trusted him. Believed he wouldn’t leave again and yet… “I can’t do it. Not now.”
Sucking in a breath, he ran a hand down his face. “Okay. Okay. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“We make ourselves come. In front of each other.”
“You want to watch me jerk one off?”
“Yes. But I’ll be doing the same.” She glanced toward the bedrooms. “I can lie on the bed while you sit in a chair across the room.”
“Christ.” He scrubbed a hand down his face again. “You’re trying to kill me.”
“No. I’m not. This is just as hard for me but I need to be in control of this. I can’t—won’t—dive right in. It doesn’t matter how much my coyote wants that.”
“It might be better if you’re in one room and I’m in another. I’ll know what you’re doing and I’ll smell you but I won’t be able to see you.”
She smiled. “We could try phone sex.”
A shudder wracked him, and he shoved both hands through his hair and yanked. “Jesus. You really are trying to kill me.”
She laughed. “Pretty sure the killing is mutual.”
And it was. But in spite of the struggle it would be to watch Brady get off, she needed to see it. Needed her own relief too. Kat feared if they didn’t do something to relieve the tension winding them both tighter with every second they were together, it would snap. She wasn’t sure that was the way to go with this whole mate thing.
Actually, she wasn’t sure mutual masturbation was the right thing either, except now she’d voiced the suggestion, she couldn’t stop the reel of images flickering through her head.
If they did this, took the pressure off, maybe she’d get her wish. Maybe they could kiss without the threat of ripping each other’s clothes off.