January 23
Because I loved you in spite of the fact I hated you.
Ren’s words had been on repeat in his head for the last two days. And he still couldn’t wrap his mind around them. Brady wasn’t sure he ever would. All he could do was accept them.
“Stop going over it.”
He turned his head for a second before refocusing on the snow-slick mountain road in front of them. “What?”
Her hand landed on his thigh. “You know what. If you leaving and not contacting me for thirteen years didn’t affect it, nothing I find in your mother’s books will change the way I feel.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Actually, I do.” Her fingers tightened on his leg momentarily. “You want me to trust you, Brady, but that goes both ways. You need to trust that what I say is the truth. That when I tell you I love you, I mean it, and when I say nothing can change that, you have to believe it.”
He sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just…”
She squeezed his leg again. “I know. It’s okay. We’ll get through this and everything will be fine.”
God, he wanted to believe that. With every breath he took he wanted to believe she’d stick by his side when all the rotting bones were uncovered because Brady was pretty sure those bones held decaying flesh—rotting, festering maggot-filled flesh.
“It’s not far now, just around the next bend. Steve’s place has a big driveway so if we’re the last to arrive you can still pull in off the road,” Ren instructed.
“Are we late?” The last thing he wanted was to be late when he’d asked to meet with everyone.
“No. No. Gordie invited everyone over for dinner. She promised to keep the true reason for getting together a secret until you were ready.”
“We, until we were ready. This is about us now. I know it’s my family, my past, but if we’re mates that makes it your family, your past.”
“Okay, then I’m ready whenever you are.”
Brady could hear Ren’s determination to stand by his side, her confidence that the people inside Steve and Gordie’s house wouldn’t run him out of town, and it had his spine straightening, his shoulders pulling back. Drawing in a deep breath, he let the anxiety rolling in his gut out as he exhaled.
“I think we should dive right in. No point dragging this out longer than we have to,” he said. “It’s not like putting it off gets us anything, and I’m ready to move on, to let all the secrets out so they’re no longer hanging over my head.”
“Our heads. It’s hanging over our heads. And I agree. We get it done so we can move past it. I’ll let Gordie know as soon as we get there.”
He nodded, kept his gaze on the road, and sent up a silent wish that revealing what they’d discovered didn’t mean he’d be finding a new place to live, that he’d be forced to take Ren away or worse, give her up.
Ren slapped his thigh. “Stop it! You’re not going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere.”
“What? Are you reading my mind now?”
“No, but I’m sensing your agitation; it’s like the air thickened or something.” She twisted in her seat, both hands now on his leg, her grip firm. “I get why you’re worried but nothing we’ve uncovered was your doing. I know these people. They aren’t about to blame you for something you never had a hand in.”
Glancing quickly at Ren, he offered a small smile, before looking forward again. “I’ll keep you to those words.”
“You can. I promised I’d never lie to you and I won’t, not even now when a lie might make you feel better.”
Brady could hear the truth in her voice. She wouldn’t lie. Not about this. She’d told him some of what she’d read in his mother’s journals; he knew she hadn’t found out if Michelle Watson was his birth mother yet. God. Michelle hadn’t even been married to Malcolm Connelly. She’d been kidnapped and held captive until she’d lost the will—the desire—to escape.
Ren hadn’t revealed the details of Michelle’s early life in Whispering Springs although she’d given him enough to know the young woman his mother had been was subjected to isolation and brutal abuse. If Brady had to guess, he’d say at some point her kidnapper had become her savior.
Brady wasn’t sure if he wanted to know all the details or keep his knowledge to a more general overview. What he did know was that they had to find out what Malcolm and this Matthew person had been doing with the children they brought to the mountains over the years.
“Here. Turn in here.”
He took his foot off the accelerator and lightly touched the brake. The last thing he needed to do was put them in a ditch because he’d slammed on the brakes like some rookie driving in the snow for the first time.
Comfortable with his speed, Brady made the turn into the driveway of a huge log cabin. Only the house in front of them couldn’t really be called a cabin. More like a mansion.
“Steve built this?” he asked as he brought the truck to a stop beside a sheriff’s department SUV.
“I know, right?” Ren leaned forward in her seat, her gaze roaming over the beautiful house. “I knew Steve was good with his hands, a regular handyman around town, but I had no idea he was this good until he and Gordie got together and I came up here.”
“I might have to talk to him about our place.”
“He’s good at the design aspect of a house too. According to Gordie, he designed and built this place himself with a little labor help here and there. Wait until you see the hand carved furnishings. I love the railing he did for the stairs leading to the bottom level.”
“Are those the ones Gordie fell down?”
Between reading his mother’s journals, Ren had told him what had happened in recent months, including her sister’s accident at the beginning of the year. Brady was astonished to discover Gordie had walked away from her encounter with Marcus virtually unscratched but a tumble down a flight of stairs left her with a busted arm and an almost busted head.
Humming agreement, Ren tipped her chin up and said, “We’ve been spotted.”
Brady’s gaze zipped to the front door. Sure enough, two people stood in the open doorway. Gordie and Steve. “I met Gordie the other day so she’s easy to place but I can’t believe how recognizable Steve is. He hasn’t changed at all.”
“I know, I swear that man doesn’t age. He looks the same as he did in high school.”
“What, no wrinkles or gray hairs?” he asked with a smile.
“Not that I’ve seen. Although my sister would be to blame for those, not the years he’s added to his life.”
“Well, let’s get this over with.” Brady switched off the truck and unlatched his seatbelt. “No point delaying the inevitable.”
Ren laughed as she undid her belt and opened her door. “You sound like you’re going to the gallows.”
“Feels like I might be,” he muttered as he popped open his door. Brady barely had his feet on the ground and the door closed behind him when Ren threw herself at him. He had no choice but to catch her. “Hey!”
“Please stop it,” she mumbled into his neck where she’d tucked her face after wrapping her arms and legs around him in a death-grip. “Everything is going to be fine.”
Brady sighed. “I know. I just don’t like being the bearer of bad news. Or the one whose family tried to destroy this town and the pack. And I don’t want to even think about what Marcus tried to do to Gordie.”
“I wouldn’t either but I know nobody would blame me for what others did.” She leaned back until their gazes locked. “No one will hold you responsible for Marcus’s or Malcolm’s actions. And if they do, they’ll have to deal with me.”
He grinned at the fierce look on Ren’s face, the murderous glint in her eyes. His one-woman army defending him from the world.
Sliding a hand to the back of her head, he held her gaze with his as surely as he held her head. “Thank you. Thank you for defending me, for standing up for me when I’m not sure I should stand up for myself.”
“You have nothing to defend against. You were a powerless kid before and then you weren’t here. Nothing that happened while you were away can be laid at your feet and anything we discover in your mother’s books isn’t on you either. You haven’t even read them. Only your mother and I know what’s written on those pages.”
Ren was right, his brain knew she was; it was just his heart, the one that ached to be accepted in the Whispering Mountains pack once more, felt heavy, like this could be the thing that turned the pack members against him.
She rested her forehead on his, her arms tightening around his neck. “We’ve got this.”
Her words were a vow. Filled with strength and conviction and trust. Trust in them. Trust in him. “I love you.”
Grinning, she smacked her mouth on his then jumped out of his arms, grabbed his hand, and tugged him toward the house. “Ditto. Now let’s get this done.”
With a smile, Brady let her pull him in spite of the fact he’d willingly follow her anywhere. They’d come a long way in such a short time. Only a few days and he’d lay his life down for hers. He had no doubt she’d do the same. And in that moment he realized she was right.
He had nothing to worry about from the members of the Whispering Mountains pack because all that really mattered was the woman with her hand in his. The woman who loved him no matter what had happened in the past.
Ren.
“Hey.” He pulled her to a stop.
Looking over her shoulder, she arched an eyebrow.
“Why don’t you go by Ren anymore?” He had wanted to know since old Doc Monroe had told him she’d stopped using it after he’d left.
With a sigh, she turned to face him. “You want to do this now?”
Brady nodded.
“Okay.” She licked her lips, swallowed, then licked them again. “If I wasn’t allowed to say your name or ask about you, I couldn’t live with the reminder of you. You made me Ren and without you I couldn’t bear to hold onto her.”
Fuck. He closed his eyes, held her hand tighter.
She killed him. Slashed his heart wide open.
His fucking father had done that and Brady hadn’t been here to protect her. With a quick tug, he yanked her into him and wrapped his arms around her.
Opening his eyes, he locked his gaze on hers. “You can’t imagine how much it hurts me to know I didn’t—couldn’t—protect you from Malcolm or Marcus. But what hurts the most is that you felt as though you couldn’t be Ren without me. You didn’t, don’t, need me to be her.”
She shrugged. “It felt that way at the time.”
“I’ll never call you Kat.” He grinned. “Seems a little weird to call a canine shifter Kat but that’s not why I won’t do it.”
Brady palmed her face and brought his lips to hers. He didn’t take the kiss deep, only pressed his lips to hers and absorbed the pleasure being able to do so gave him.
“I love you. I’ve always loved you, will always love you. No matter what you called yourself while I was gone, you are and always have been Ren. It’s not my love or me that makes you her, it’s who you are, and who you are makes me love you.”
Ren rolled her lips inward, her eyes sparkling with moisture. “Brady,” she breathed against his mouth.
He shook his head. “That didn’t sound right. I mean—” She placed her fingers over his lips.
“No. It came out perfectly because it wasn’t perfect. I know what you meant and I have to say it’s the most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“Really?” Brady asked, skeptical that no one else had told her how important she was to them. “Your parents and sister have never said they love you?”
Smiling, Ren trailed her fingers along his jaw. “It’s not the words of love that make what you said perfect, Brady; it’s the reason you love me.”
“The reason? Because you’re you?” Now he was really confused. Didn’t they love her for her?
She leaned in and brushed her mouth on his. “C’mon. Let’s leave this particular talk for later and go have a different one.”
Brady glanced over her shoulder toward the house where Gordie and Steve waited. He’d forgotten where they were, why they were here. “I’d prefer to keep this conversation going,” he muttered.
“Me too.” Ren laughed. “But considering I’d like to jump your bones right now and I don’t think my sister would appreciate me doing that on her front lawn, we should really go have that other talk.”
His gaze now back on Ren, a growl rumbling in his chest, he palmed her ass and lifted her against him so she could feel one bone in particular. “Do not tell me you want to jump my bones when I have to spend the next few hours with your family and friends.”
“That bone. That’s the one I want to jump.”
Before Brady could drag her back to the truck and drive away, Ren pulled from his grip and ran for the door.
“Ren,” he called as he took off after her.
Laughing she yelled, “Catch me if you can,” and darted around her sister and into the house.
Faced with a smiling Steve and Gordie, he wasn’t sure what to say or do. He was thankful for the longish sweater he wore though. At least they wouldn’t be able to see the evidence of his lust.
Then again, coyote shifters, so they probably heard every word they’d spoken and could smell both his and Ren’s arousal.
Ignore and distract. Brady held out his hand. “Hi, Gordie, nice to see you again.”
Gordie eyed his offering then laughed. “I think we’re beyond that, don’t you?”
Confused, Brady almost didn’t return the hug Gordie laid on him. “Oh. Right.” When she let him go, Brady found Steve waiting with his hand out.
“I think we’ll stick with handshakes,” Steve said.
“Good. Yes. Handshakes.” Brady slid his hand into Steve’s.
“Welcome to the family,” Steve added as they shook.
Caught off guard again, Brady glanced between the two of them. “Family?”
Gordie smiled and patted his cheek. “Yes. Welcome. Mom and Dad are going to be thrilled.”
“Ah…”
Steve laughed and pulled him into the house.
Brady hadn’t even realized he hadn’t let go of the other man’s hand. Rectifying that quickly, he glanced around and instantly found something to say.
“This place is amazing. Ren said you designed and built it yourself?” he asked as he turned to face Steve.
Steve gave him a smile that said he knew exactly what Brady was doing by bringing up the house. “Yes. I’ll give you the grand tour—”
“We should get back to everyone first,” Gordie interrupted.
Taking a deep breath, Brady nodded. “Yes. We should get the unpleasantness out of the way.”
Steve motioned for Gordie to go first. “By all means, let’s get this over with. Or started depending on your point of view.”
Brady looked between his hosts; he wasn’t sure because he hadn’t seen either in years but he’d swear by the expressions on their faces he wasn’t the only one going into this meeting with something hanging over his head.