CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

It was a sunny afternoon, not exactly warm, but pleasant in the full sun.

“I’ll be back by five,” said Aunt Zoë, joining them outside. “Kaitlyn is in charge, Julia. Understand?”

“We’re going to take a walk,” Julia said, hopping up and down.

Kaitlyn yawned. “I said maybe.”

Zoë came over. “How did you sleep last night?”

Kaitlyn held back another yawn. “I took some of the Benadryl,” she said.

“Did it help?”

“I think so.” She had taken one tablet at about ten the night before. But by two in the morning, she was groggy but still awake, so she’d taken another. The next thing she knew, her alarm was going off.

“You still look tired,” Zoë said.

“I’ll be okay.” She’d felt sluggish all day, her mind numb. From what she’d read, this was a possible side effect of Benadryl. She’d never take it again. She’d rather feel ordinarily tired than have this fogginess.

“Well, if you don’t feel like a walk, just say no. Lord, where are my car keys?” Zoë fumbled in her purse.

“Can we go trick or treating tonight, Kaitlyn?” pleaded Julia, tugging her arm.

“Halloween’s Sunday. Today’s only Wednesday.”

“Why can’t we go more than once?”

“It’s illegal,” Kaitlyn said.

Finding her keys, Zoë looked up, shading her eyes. “It’s certainly a beautiful day for a walk, though. Indian summer. Wish I could join you. Just be careful. Someone we know likes to run off. I’ll bring back some pumpkins and we can make jack-o’-lanterns tonight.”

“Oh, Aunt Zoë,” said Kaitlyn. “Mr. Brady should be calling for me today. I gave him your number.”

“The guidance counselor?”

“Just tell him I’ll call him back.”

Zoë gave her a glance. “What’s he want to talk about?”

“Nothing bad. I’ll tell you tonight. I’d like to talk with you and Uncle Jack about something anyway. Maybe after supper?”

Zoë smiled. “Good,” she said. “We can do that.”

“When’s Daddy coming home?” asked Julia.

“Not sure, honey,” Zoë said, then she got in her car and left.

“Let’s go, let’s go!” said Julia.

“Please don’t yank my arm. You’ll dislocate my pitching shoulder. Put on your coat and hat.”

“But the sun is warm.”

“We’ll be in the shade a lot.”

Kaitlyn worked Julia’s coat sleeve over the cast and worked a stocking cap onto her head. Then she donned her own fleece and put on the school baseball cap that Mr. Brady had given her the day he’d watched her pitch. They started up the trail behind the barn that went through the forest up the mountain. It really was beautiful, the sky deep blue and the sun glowing through the trees. She inhaled deeply. The air smelled of fallen leaves.

“Let’s go all the way up where we can see the river and the valley,” Julia said.

“Okay, but don’t run ahead.”

Julia laughed and proceeded to run. “Catch me!”

“If that’s the way it is, we’re going back.”

Julia returned. She grabbed a handful of leaves and flung them in the air. They continued walking, then Julia darted off and picked up a stick. She returned to walk next to Kaitlyn and began tapping the path in front of them with the branch. “Look, I’ve got a cane. Do you want me to get you one?”

“The only thing I need is a leash.”

“I’m going to be a witch for Halloween!” Julia exclaimed. “This can be my broom. What are you going to be?”

“A cannibal.”

“Yuck. Why do you want to be a cannibal?”

“No, actually, I’m going to be Spider-Woman.”

“Or you can be Hermione Granger and cast spells. You can make me disappear!” Julia’s excitement faltered. “Are you going to be here for Halloween? I heard Aunt Zoë talk about having to drive you back on Sunday. I hope you don’t go.”

Kaitlyn smiled, tempted to mention she might be staying for good, wanting to see the look on Julia’s face. But the time wasn’t right.

The trail grew steeper. She could see the hills on the far side of the valley. She was feeling relaxed. All last night she had thought about what it would be like to call this place home, to have Zoë to talk with, to feel her warmth. Kaitlyn could imagine being like the daughter that Zoë had never had. The thought made her chest swell with the urge to cry. Why should happiness be painful?

“Almost there,” said Julia.

And then there was Julia. It would be fun to watch her grow up. She could also imagine a time in the future when she and Uncle Jack could become like friends. If only he’d stop closing himself off. Zoë was probably right about how losing Zellie had damaged him. Could such a scar be permanent? How much damage did the loss of her own parents do? Stella would explode at the news of her staying. Kaitlyn knew she’d have to be strong and wait for the shock waves to settle. On the other side of that explosion was a new life.

They came to the top where there was a big open area without many trees. Kaitlyn felt a jolt of alarm as Julia took off running toward the big flat rock that ended in a steep drop. Zoë had a fear of heights, wouldn’t even go near the cliff.

“Julia! Stop and wait for me.”

The little girl jumped up and down, laughing. They stood there on the flat boulder together and looked over the valley.

“I wonder if it’s like this on the moon,” said Julia.

“I don’t think there’s quite as many trees.”

“Are there a lot of bears down there?”

“Thousands.”

“What kind?”

“Most of them are Teddies, I think,” Kaitlyn said.

“Teddy bears? No they’re not.”

“Actually, at night, whole flocks of dingbats come out and fly around.”

“Why do you lie all the time?”

“I’m not lying. I’m standing.”

“Stop making fun of me.”

Kaitlyn looked at her and sighed. “Hey, I’m sorry. I’m just in a good mood. I feel a little silly.”

“I like it better when you’re in a bad mood. Can we play hide-and-seek?”

“Sure. Do you want to hide first?”

“No, you.”

“Okay. But let’s get away from the edge. You go by that tree and close your eyes.”

“And count to twenty?”

“Yes. Twenty.”

“Out loud?”

“Yep.” Kaitlyn went a little ways into the woods and stood behind a big pine tree.

“Ready or not, here I come!” Julia shouted.

Kaitlyn maneuvered to keep the tree between them.

“I see you!” said Julia. “My turn to hide now. This time you count to one hundred.”

“Okay, but don’t go too far and don’t go that way.” Kaitlyn pointed toward the cliff. She went and sat beside a large stone, leaning back against it. It was in the shade, but the stone had absorbed heat, and its contours matched the shape of her back. It felt warm and comfortable. She closed her eyes and began counting. A sensation of moving air swept across her forehead. She yawned and stretched drowsily. No more Benadryl, ever. She lay her head back. Her eyes were heavy. So comfortable. Julia was moving somewhere near the woods.