CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

The soles of Kaitlyn’s running shoes crackled over the dead leaves on the path. The barn came into view. “Julia!” She ran into the backyard, slowing, her heart sinking. There was no child on the swing set. She leaped up the steps to the back door and burst into the kitchen. “Julia!” She leaned over, gulping air as a sharp pain stabbed her side. The living room was empty. She dashed down the hallway to Julia’s room. Likewise.

She opened the basement door. Flicking on the lights, she flew downstairs into the den. Empty. Back outside, she ran to the barn and flung open the side door. “Julia!” She sprinted up to Tony’s apartment and banged the door. She could hear the TV going. “Uncle Tony!” The door swung open. Tony still wore a blank look.

“Kaitlyn?”

“Julia is lost,” she said, gasping. “We were up by the flat rock. I fell asleep. She’s not back here. I’ve checked everywhere.”

Understanding dawned in his eyes. He turned and took his jacket off the hook and picked up a flashlight. “Let’s go look.”

“I’m scared, Uncle Tony. I looked down the cliff, but I couldn’t see her.”

Tony had short and slightly bowed legs but could move very quickly when he wanted to. He was already jogging away when Kaitlyn got outside. The sun was now close to the horizon, the light changing.

“Wait for me,” she said. But a car was crunching up the driveway. It was Aunt Zoë. She froze, trembling.

Zoë’s door flew open. “Kaitlyn, what on earth is going on? What’s wrong?”

She tried to explain, seeing a look of alarm blossom on Zoë’s face. “Slow down, child. Stop crying. I can’t understand you.”

“Julia is lost. Uncle Tony is looking for her now.”

Zoë straightened. “What do you mean she’s lost?”

“We were playing hide-and-seek, and it was my turn to seek and . . .”

“And what?”

“I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to. I think the medicine . . . When I opened my eyes, she was gone. I can’t find her, Aunt Zoë. I am so scared.”

“Where was this, Kaitlyn? Down in the basement?”

“Up the hill. By the flat rock.”

“You were playing by the cliff and you fell asleep? Oh God, Kaitlyn.”

“I just closed my eyes for a minute and the next thing I knew she was gone.”

“Oh, mother of mercy,” Zoë said, a catch in her voice.

“I’m going to go back up and help Uncle Tony look,” Kaitlyn said.

“You are not. Not in the state you’re in.”

“I’ve got to.” Kaitlyn swung around but Zoë grabbed her arm. She tried to break free, but Zoë gripped harder.

“Go in the house, Kaitlyn. Listen to me! This isn’t helping. Go in the house. Now.”

It was the first time she’d heard Zoë raise her voice, and it jolted her like an electric shock. She saw Zoë yank out her phone. “I need to call the police. They can bring search dogs. We’ll find her. Now please, go in the house. That’s an order, Kaitlyn.”

“You hate me now.”

“Stop it.”

Jack’s car was halfway up the driveway when he noticed two figures in front of the barn. Dusk was approaching and he couldn’t clearly see them until he coasted near. It was Zoë and Kaitlyn. Something was obviously wrong. Zoë had hold of Kaitlyn’s arm and Kaitlyn was trying to pull away, almost dragging the older woman with her.

Hearing their voices through the closed windows, he glanced at Marianna in the seat beside him. He had spent the entire ride from the hospital filling her in on the details of what had transpired since he’d learned of the financial crisis last week. She was staring at the scene with a puzzled expression.

“From your description of your family, Dr. Forester, I imagine that would be Zoë and Kaitlyn,” she said. “They look to be having a struggle.”

“I need to see what’s happening.” He stepped outside. “Zoë?” he called, striding over. Zoë turned. Kaitlyn jerked free and dashed into the barn. “What the hell is going on?” Marianna came up behind him.

Zoë’s face was pale and contorted. “I need to make this call,” she said, her voice trembling. Her chest rose and fell.

“Who do you need to call?” he said. “Talk to me.”

“I’m calling 911,” she said, putting the phone to her ear. “Be quiet a minute.”

He had never seen Zoë agitated before. She began talking rapid-fire into the phone. Through her words, he pieced together what had transpired. A dark sensation—as painful and potent as anything he’d ever felt—bored into his chest.

Zoë ended the call and turned to him, dropping the phone in her pocket and closing her eyes.

“How could this have happened?” he demanded.

“They were playing hide-and-seek up by the flat rock and Kaitlyn fell asleep. Tony’s up there now and the police will be here shortly.”

“She took my daughter up there and fell asleep?”

Zoë’s eyes went hard and her face firm. “Don’t blame her. It’s my fault, Jack. I knew she was tired. I never should have asked her to babysit. She didn’t mean for this to happen. We’ll find her. That’s the important thing.”

Jack stared at the path leading into the woods and strode in that direction. The sun was setting below the western ridge, and the forest was deep in shadow. He stopped. Should he get a light and run out there or wait for the police, show them the way? When he turned back to Zoë, he saw that Marianna—he’d forgotten about her—had gone to Zoë with her hand outstretched.

“You must be Aunt Zoë,” she was saying. “Dr. Forester has told me all about you. I’m Vlada Marina. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I’m sorry—you’re who?” Zoë asked, staring.

Jack went to them. He and Marianna had devised a cover story during the drive. “Vlada is the daughter of a visiting professor we had here a few years ago,” he said. “She’s from Estonia and came for a job interview. I’ve invited her to stay with us while she’s—” He heard Tony’s voice calling far off from the direction of the trail. “Excuse me.” He turned and ran in that direction. He hadn’t gone a hundred yards when he saw Tony emerge, carrying the child in his arms. He handed her to Jack.

“Daddy, I got lost.”

Jack squeezed her tightly and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you, brother,” he said, his eyes burning as he looked over at Tony. “Are you hurt, sweetie?”

“No.”

“You gave us a scare.” They started back down to the yard. “What happened?”

“Not much.”

Though he felt immense relief, the dark sensation was still churning. “Not much? What sort of not much?”

“We were playing, and I found a really good place to hide inside a bush. Kaitlyn got tired and took a nap, so I went to find some flowers. Then everything looked the same. I heard her calling me, but she didn’t hear me back. But Uncle Tony did.”

The K-9 unit was there when they got back to the yard. There were two dogs on leashes, a black lab and a border collie, and three officers equipped with lights and a bullhorn. Marianna was kneeling between the dogs, petting them as they tried to lick her face. Jack set Julia down and Zoë picked her up. He thanked the officers.

“No problem at all,” one of them said. “These are the kinds of S&R calls we like.”

“Who’s that?” Julia inquired, pointing at Marianna.

“This is Ms. Marina,” Zoë said. “She seems to be a friend of your daddy’s.”

“Would you like to pet the dogs?” Marianna said to the little girl.

“Sure,” she said, writhing out of Zoë’s arms.

“Is Kaitlyn still in the barn?” Jack asked Zoë.

“Yes. I went in to talk with her, but she isn’t saying anything. I’m worried. She didn’t need this.”

“No one needed this. What could she have been thinking?”

“She was dead tired, and I should never have left her to babysit. She took a Benadryl last night and I’m sure that made it worse. It’s my fault.” She faced him directly. “Do you hear me, Jack Forester? Don’t be angry with her. I’ve seen nothing but responsibility from that girl.”

“I just need to talk with her.”

“Fine. But be gentle. You know how much she’s been through.”

“She’d have put herself through a lot more if something had happened to Julia.”

“Obviously. And I think if the worst had happened, she wouldn’t have been able to live with herself. So, thank God that wasn’t the case. I’m warning you, if you’re angry, do not go in there.”

“I understand.”

“She needs understanding. Something you really haven’t given her much of.”

“That’s unfair, Zoë.” He sighed. “I’m okay. I get what you’re saying.”

Zoë nodded toward Marianna, who was petting the dogs alongside Julia. “Your friend Vlada seems like a very nice person.”

“I apologize for not giving you a head’s up, Zoë. She’ll be spending the night with us. Maybe longer. This was unexpected. I’ll explain later.”

The officers were loading the dogs back into the van. As he headed for the barn, Jack saw Marianna following him with her eyes. He found Kaitlyn sitting in the corner behind the old tractor, her knees drawn up. Her eyes were puffy, her cheeks chapped and raw. She was staring straight ahead, unfocused, her breathing shallow, mouth half open.

“Julia’s back,” he said. “Tony found her. She’s fine.”

She nodded, not looking at him. “You don’t have to say it. I’m a loser and an idiot.”

Jack heard movement and glanced in its direction. Julia came into the barn leading Marianna. She dropped Marianna’s hand and ran to Kaitlyn, who continued staring ahead.

“Kaitlyn, I’m sorry I got lost. I went to find you some flowers.”

Kaitlyn shrugged. “Don’t be sorry. It was my fault.”

“I didn’t want to wake you up. Is Daddy mad at you again?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kaitlyn said. “He doesn’t like me and he never did.”

“Yes, he does. Can I give you a hug?”

“No.” Julia tried anyway, but Kaitlyn put up her hand. “Please, don’t. I’m glad you’re okay, but you need to stay away from me.”

“Marianna,” Jack said. “Would you take Julia back outside?”

“You mean Vlada,” said Marianna.

“Sorry. Vlada.”

“I don’t want to leave,” said Julia, sniffling. “Kaitlyn?”

“You must do as your papa says,” said Marianna.

“My papa? We don’t call him that.”

“Well, you could,” Marianna said, taking her hand and leading her back outside. “It’s a good word.”

“Kaitlyn . . .” Jack began.

“I don’t want to talk. You’ve never wanted me here. I used to wonder what I could do to change it.”

“I’m sorry I gave you that impress—”

“I used to think it was all my fault,” she said, interrupting him. “But there’s something wrong with you too. It’s like, I don’t know, something is dead inside of you.”

He looked away and drew a deep breath.

She went on. “But who am I to talk? Julia could have died because of me.” She took a deep shuddering breath and exhaled. He remembered how Zellie had cried after her father’s death, the way her breath had shuddered like that. “I don’t blame you anymore for thinking I’m worthless. And I’m stupid. I took two of those pills for sleep last night.”

“The Benadryl?”

“I know you probably think that, like, I’m just pitying myself. But it’s more than that. I don’t want to be an evil person, but I can’t help hurting people. I don’t want to be like this.”

He stared down at her and remembered the night they had talked in the car. His throat contracted and he heaved a sigh. “Kaitlyn, you’re not a bad person. Not at all. Far from it. Come inside and let’s get some supper. We’ll talk more. It’s going to get cold out here.”

She shook her head and didn’t glance up. “Just leave me alone.”