how to use this book

THIS BOOK IS MEANT TO be a healing journey. It can be done individually, in a group setting, or one-on-one with a mentor, counselor, or therapist. As you read this book, please keep the following things in mind:

• You can either read this book lightly for the concepts or do a deep dive and incorporate the exercises. Healing is like peeling an onion; it happens one layer at a time. Go to the depth you feel is appropriate for you.
• If you are a mother, you will read with dual awareness. You will not only have insights about your relationship with your mother, but you will also probably see ways you have been less than perfect with your own children. If your children are still young, this book can help you change old patterns and be a better mother. If your children are now adults, remember it is never too late to work toward healing.
• If you have been adopted or raised by someone other than your biological mother, you may find yourself thinking about more than one mother figure as you read. Include these people as you reflect on your story.
• If your mother is no longer living, consider whether there might still be healing to do within yourself.
• Even if you and your mother have a good adult relationship now, the imprinting you received as a child may still need attention. Childhood wounds sometimes linger until we are strong enough to deal with them and let them truly heal.
• Try to be aware of what is happening in your body and emotions as you read the stories in this book. Your reactions can be helpful clues.

Every woman has her own story. The specific events and memories of your life are unique to you. The level of trauma in your life is unique to you. Nevertheless, it can be helpful to look at general patterns as they are illustrated in the lives of others. Though the stories we present in this book are different from yours, you may find strands of your story as you read.

All stories in this book, unless otherwise noted, are composites. Names and details have been changed to protect confidentiality.