Our prison system has proven that in a free society punishment no longer works. Under a dictatorship, the threat of punishment is extreme and fear is everywhere; that is how a dictatorship maintains order and low crime. In a free society, punishment has failed. Today, instead of building more schools, we are building more prisons. In many parts of the country, when someone is punished in our prison system, they often emerge, not rehabilitated, but as better criminals. Rehabilitation centers could better be called criminal training centers. Clearly, in a society that allows personal freedom and respects human rights, the old ways of maintaining order by means of punishment are out of date. We cannot preach love and then turn around and punish the weakest elements of society. Fortunately, some prisons today are focusing more on methods to rehabilitate and not just on punishment.
Punishment doesn’t work in a free society, and it doesn’t work in loving families. The more children feel nurtured and loved, the more confusing punishment is. We cannot nurture our children and open their minds and hearts to be strong, creative, and capable, only to turn around and threaten them like animals. We cannot seek to make them feel good about themselves and then make them feel bad when they make mistakes.
We open our children to feeling good about themselves and then turn around and make them feel bad.
It is more damaging to open up children and then punish them than to ignore their feelings and wants, and occasionally punishing them to maintain control. If we are to give our children the opportunity to open up their minds and hearts and develop a strong will, we must learn another way to motivate other than punishment.
Even animal trainers are learning news ways to train dogs, horses, tigers, and other animals without punishment. I learned more about parenting by talking with animal trainers than from many of the parenting books available to parents. There is so much confusion when it comes to parenting, and one of the most controversial issues is punishment.
Everyone senses that punishment doesn’t work and is inhumane, but they don’t know a different way. Many are resistant to the idea of giving up punishment, because the soft-love type of parenting clearly has failed. Children who are not punished are often unruly, undisciplined, and disrespectful to each other and to adults and teachers. Yet every parent, at some time, has felt in their quiet moments that there must be a different way. Fortunately, there is an alternative to punishment, and the collective consciousness of our planet is ready for it to work.